That night when I confessed,
My heart was beating loud and mind a little stressed,
I did put my feelings in my text,
Them my heart lost control with a little pain in chest.

Then closing whatsapp what I did,
Drank 5 glasses of water and from high blood pressure I get rid,
And once again logged in chat where your words were hid.

"Why we're you offline" you asked,
Told you how I felt at last,
You told me your story which cracked my heart with blast,
And your official no to my proposal made me to live without my first love which was my last.

I still don't believe in your story words,
I am waiting for you with a heart full of scars,
Once again I want to say you "I love you"
And want to listen the same from lips of you
But what would be the answer is all up to you.

There was a time in my life where I denied who I was
As we grow we strip parts of ourselves away and put different pieces back together
Different skins and faces and depths of ourselves get changed as we face new challenges
But for me when I was young I saw a part I wanted to keep
A part I felt would make an important staple piece of what made me who I was throughout the changes that would come
After a while I think it weighed me down and I couldn't be defiant and brave enough to be wholeheartedly myself anymore
So I pushed it back and put on a face I knew would be acceptable
I think I'm slowly finding that part again
Maybe this time I can be brave enough to keep my head held high

The eyes can't lie,
hearts can't pretend,
overflowing joy and love,
in You, that I found.

Never I had imagined,
sins were forgiven,
***** yet accepted,
in You, I was saved.

I am broken,
You completed me,
Longing to be with You,
And now, you embraced me.

How it must feel
To be a traitor
To everyone who's loved you

Does he know what we did?
Would he still love you?

Call me disgusting
A  horrible person
Manipulative even

I hope he learns
And that he leaves
So you are alone

And I hope you know my pain

Unfortunately you are not for everyone. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will love you regardless of what you do and how nice of a person you are. Not everyone will vibe with your energy and not everyone will understand and support you.

Even though it is a bitter pill to swallow at times don't let it make a turmoil of your emotion and deplete your energy. Because your time and energy is so much more precious than exhausting yourself by shapeshifting to pander to the whims of others, moulding yourself to fit in every where and hence retaining no shape to call your own.

Choose not to sacrifice your uniqueness to succumb buttering up their bread. To Be selective with your energy by politely waving them goodbye to stand by your values and lifestyles that most deeply resonate with you. Choose to take social risks regardless of the awkward glances and haughty whispers. Choose to not care of what others think to the point it stifles your ability to take risks and disrupt your social satisfaction.

For there is nothing more liberating than to not waste your life allowing the faultfinders to dictate your actions. To seek to align your actions with your heart. To stand up for something, to do and believe what brings  content regardless of it being disliked. It is beautifully candor being your authentic self.

She never wanted to be prettier
Nor that she wanted to be better.
Only wished to be accepted.

-HIY