He’s not here anymore
That’s why you’ve been crying girlie
Cos his face is smiling but his heart ain’t offering
It’s magic to you no more
Go rock your nest alone tonight
Let the moon song your grief
Wrap up tight your body untouched
Sleep will wash that longing feminine soul beneath
Maybe he’ll be back with soft animal skins
That will warm the bed you’ll sleep upon
Or maybe he is gone with the wind having inhaled you then left you forgotten.
for now breathe deep, give your prayers to the moon, for your love isn’t here for your sharing.
May his heart be honourable and his soul be true. May these nights not destroy your mutual caring

How many times I cried
How many times I begged
Don’t take me there
Not ever
I’ll do anything I swear

She glared at me with unfeeling eyes
As she always has
But in that moment
I just didn’t care
And waited for her to spare

She dragged me to the pool without a thought or care
The place where I had drowned before
And no one had been aware
I shudder as I remember what happened on that day
The water all around me choking my life away

She pushed me in the deep and walking away she said
“Try to go for good this time, and don’t come back again”
Silent tears slid down my face
Even though I knew
How foolish it was of me
To think that she wouldn’t go

I swam and swam
But tired at last
I sank down to the ground
Ready to die and accepting
That it was to be this way

I saw you waiting there
At the other end
Even though it wasn’t true
I still believe you were there
And you said
“Stay”

And I believed
In a better life and hope
I pulled myself out and walked away
No longer wanting that rope

i swear by revenge baby
i swear by my mother's death:
it's over now

i know what he did to
you

i know about your story
i know about your worries
baby

i am going to be with
you

i am going to stay close
will never leave you
like boomerangs
you get me?

he'll never be hurting
you again

we'll be leading a
white bread life in order to
disappear

but never be gone  
never gone
baby

i know what he did to
you

you and me
female and female
male and female
male and male

are going to eliminate him
his head will bust and his giblets will splatter
against the wall

and i swear baby
because i love you so much baby

this paint will be our
luxury

**** louis vuitton what
we need is

REVENGE

feel me?
let's do it
be wit me
i'm never going to leave you i
swear by revenge
swear by the death of my mother

don't you assume i
haven't been suffering

been drinking gallons of milk against
pyrosis
ain't only *****
believe me

don't you assume i
haven't been suffering

it's our time.
now.

get me?

I wrote a poem
and named it after her
because it ends too early

today i woke up to a spirit.
i opened my eyes to nothingness, but i could feel the warmth radiating off of the dip in the bed.
at first i was dumbfounded
where were you? could you be the spirit?
and so i fell in l-o-v-e with it.

       wherever i go the spirit follows.
i feel it hold my hand
i feel it massage my shoulders
i feel its l-o-v-e giving me subtle back hugs through my days

       the day you left i fell in l-o-v-e with a spirit.
the embodiment of your memory
the sweetness of its silence

       and if the spirit leaves me, too?
at least i'll be prepared for the emptiness

1.
The boy lived his
childhood inside a casket
His own private hellscape

His face was distorted
by the age of eighteen,
he wished to be unseen

2.
The son of a glorified painter,
an unused color on a palette
               faded and forgotten

He’s been dead
to his father
before he died

3.
At last,
his wish came true,
no one saw the similarity
between his distorted face
and a Picasso’s painting


4.
Drawing road maps on his skin
was his only consolation,
he chose the color red
to mark his missing path

Scars between his thighs
like hidden treasures
centuries deep
away from people’s sight

5.
Each morning,
he awoke with thousand faces
none of which are the one
he started out with

The boy who is now a man
grew restless of crashing into all
those foreign versions of himself
every time he drifted to sleep

6.
After seven years of insomnia,
he stopped measuring happiness
based on how many nights he slept
A funeral rose in his heart as he wept

He muttered the word
suffering
as if it were
a prayer
or a lullaby

7.
The man longs
to be a boy again,
he couldn’t endure
another day inside—

the claustrophobic casket

—his head

Lone firefly
slowly burning away
Every repetitive lullaby shall linger,  
the boy aimed for a long night’s sleep

He spoke in silence
that’s where his fluency
flows out the most  

The lone wolf
longingly howled
at the blood moon,
his cries were
like loud sirens

His inner demons
howled for his blood
During nighttime when
he’s buried in the arms
of his beloved insomnia

He’s met with the alpha
and saw his own eyes
reflected in the other betas,
but his eye color
didn’t match with theirs

The abandoned wolf has met
with the alpha whom he shares
the same blood and eyes with,

but the wolf is a second choice in this poem,
he will never truly belong

The lone wolf
happens to be a girl,
but she never lived like one

You see,
she’s the main reason
why she has no pack
or a place to call home

nearness

I needed yours

remains abandoned

I do not know
how to grieve you

So I will weep
into my pillow

Hoping you’d hear
my gentle sobs,
and forget how to dream