my throat is dry,
my eyes are wet.
my heart is broken,
and my arms are ******.
my hands are shaking, in tune with my voice.
I cannot understand why I was the one who was chosen to be tortured in this life.
abuse, addiction, and abandonment
have all touched me somehow on my short time here on earth.
I wish to fly away and never look back,
this place is not home.
I never can feel comfortable, or calm.
I am constantly worried or in pain
and I am SICK of this current ******* LIFE I was so unmercifully given.
so **** the people who have hurt me,
I will show them how much stronger I am than they shall ever be.
I will finish this life , one way or another.
I will prove to people that even through the pain and darkness, there can and WILL be light!!!

I left the person who loved me for the person who lusted after me.

The bath water
is the colour of my eyes;
yet, I don't know
which is wetter.

I’m so sick of feeling alone.
I’m sick of this wanting, craving feeling towards love.
i want someone to give me the world,
without me asking for it.
i want someone to read me like the back of their hand,
to understand my thoughts and accept my past.
i just need someone
to need me.

i crave someone to finally open up their arms wide and let me inside,
to hold me and to never let go until the world has crumbled and fallen
apart and we have nothing left to stand on but each others feet,
and even then i’m not quite sure i would want them to let me go.
i want someone to finally acknowledge me and my differences
and fall in love with the way my eyes wrinkle in the corners when i laugh.
i want someone to sneak over late at night and talk about the stars and how majestic the color of trees look when a storm is approaching.
i want,
i crave,
i need,
someone
to need me.

and now I know you were never a man,
you always will be something much less than that.
with the devils heart in your chest; a black hole.
Your tongue is a roaring fire. Reminding me that you are in control.
With snakes for arms,
Gripping my throat;
Unable to breathe,
Unable to speak.
You are a parasite.
One that seems to always come back,
No matter how many times
I say 'No.'