Daily mounting pressures
What hides behind the eyes
You've tried your best to catch her
This crazy thing called life

While imitating art
No one saw you draw the signs
Sadly here you are
Dressed up like suicide

If you had asked permission
Would they grant the fall
Have you ever heard them listen
To your cries before

Set with tunnel vision
To the world outside
Giving out you give in
Dressed up like suicide

What was once distance thunder
Now goes off in your head
The down pour pulls you under
Held by the hand of death

A cushion for your problems
Sign on the dotted line
Smoke em if you got em
Dressed up like suicide

I imagine you in a white dress;
Like an elegant tree as we caress
With eyes of mischievous hazel and green
You bless every wild dream.

You’re far away
But I can still feel everything
Your face beneath my palm, your shapely silhouette
You turn my breath to sea breeze.

Beauty both magical and divine
Your back’s an artwork, and arms sublime.
Your hair just glows under the sunset
That gentle smile, I can’t forget.

I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you.

Wash over me like the sea
Waves of pleasure from hip to knee
Feel the earth fall beneath your feet
And rise when our eyes meet.


19th – 21st May 2017

one day out of nowhere
the silenced inside simply found
a swift route to the outside

metal clink *******
words burst forth
telling stories I
did not know
I had in me

and ever since, I know
if I'm not inking myself
I'm hiding

from me

I can quit
for a while
but the longer I go
the stronger it grows

and more forcibly, terribly, it
makes its way up from my belly
when it breaks loose

I should know better by now
the repercussions of shutting down
thoughts lining up to ricochet
but sometimes

I just can't

when it makes me feel more
of what is already unbearable

when it all seems so pale
in comparison to abysmal palette

when I'd rather avoid
looking in the mirror...

I never chose
to be a writer

the words just surged
as soon as my fingers
found their home

just like it was
with us

lips
false as a beach
damp
a pearl on the lip
dampened
the blackness of a tear

falling

aside
(wet leaves in a book will not dry)

falling

the memory dies
slowly

a plate held before each face
saying who am i

the moon

(the moon after all)

A rose in the eye of the hurricane
Standing frozen and weak
Afraid of moving and the pain
Forbidden to ever speak

Stuck with the roots of memory
And good times that might've been
Clinging to hopes that history
Would turn that frown to a grin

Denied the right to be heard
Oh honey, that's not a life
You should not be ever scared
And for the better you shall strive

My dear, you're stronger than any man
Believe in yourself, and time will show
How conquering your battles, yes you can
And then freedom, you will know

i find that even when i sit down to read a book, before i begin, sometimes i’m hit with a wave of sadness, this heart-dropping feeling of loneliness, fear of the emotions i’m about to feel, the emptiness, the focus i’m putting on my own mind… allowing myself to face my own thoughts all alone as they run through my head… it’s a scary, weird feeling and i wish i didn’t feel like this... i need to stop being afraid of being left to myself, of being an individual. i need to find fulfillment in life, in things, in reading alone, in taking photos alone, in spending time alone, in going on a walk alone... in being alone. at the beginning of this year i wasn’t like this, i found happiness and made peace with myself when no one was around but it’s changed, because of /you/ it's changed, something’s shifted, and i want my old self back, i want it to shift back, can i reverse this? can i please take back my old self?...


what have you done to me???