let it be known
be shown
what there is for eyes to see
we will grow
and die
and live
and be
with
and without
but the balance is everything and
the Present is all that
exists

What god sits on your throne?
Will they save you when you're broken and alone?
Will they forgive you for things you can't atone?
Because my God produces endless love shown

His heart so big he adopted me as a child
And loves me despite being unruly and wild
He loves that I'm unique and self styled
He forgave my sin when I defiled

He believes in me even when I can't
He let's me talk to him even when its just a rant
He straightens me when my life is on a slant
He strengthens my faith when it is scant

He revealed himself to me and made me a man
Ask yourself is that something your god can?
Do you worship or are you just a fan?
When you need someone where have you ran?

My heart may be black, and I may exhale corruption, but these scars aren't on my eyes.
This is only the introduction,
To where my future lies.

If you’re listening to this right now hoping to hear something new,
Hoping to hear something that might inspire you
Or give you that rush you’ve been looking for…
Just…
Keep looking…

We’ve all said it before...
That we’re looking for something…
That we’re just not sure what it is...

And I think that -for the most part- we deserve that.
That uncomfortable mystery.
I mean…
What’s the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?
If you knew what you were looking for,
There’s no adventure in the search for it.
So why is it that every time I see a sunset...
My gut reaction is to run away from it?
Like I’m trying to repent for wasting my day but I don’t know why.
It didn’t feel like I was wasting it until it was over and by then…
The sun was already setting.

Let me try to make more sense of this…

So you’re 8 years old.
Not once in those 8 years have you ever worried
That you won’t be enough,
That you won’t amount to anything.
In those 8 years you’ve been in spaceships and castles.
You’ve gone from training wheels to treasure maps.
Streetlights were your curfew
And the sunset never seemed like an ending.
You went to bed that night and woke up 10 years later in a panic Looking for something you lost the day before.
The world was falling apart
And the sun hadn’t even made an appearance yet.
Your spaceships have landed
And your treasure maps turned out to be dead ends...

The swing set couldn’t get you out of orbit
And you didn’t find what you were looking for
In that hole in the back yard.

You’re 18…
Everything feels like the ending of the story
And you don’t even know the plot yet.
You start drawing treasure maps again
And everyone thinks you’re crazy,
But all you’re really trying to do find is what you lost so long ago
And when they tell you to just retrace your steps…
None of the footprints look like you own.

You start running in reverse.
Whether it be to get away from yourself or who you thought you were, It doesn’t matter.
The point is that you’re looking for something.
You start dusting off old treasure maps and try to revisit the stars.
What once was your castle
Is now just an old blanket next to the couch in the living room.
You start to panic.
Frantically you search for the moment of impact
When your rocket returned home
And the lid of the treasure chest slammed shut.
But you won’t find it.
It’s not there anymore.
You start to notice how empty your gut feels,
Yet at the same time so heavy.

So you’re 18 years old.
You’ve started to worried that you won’t be enough.
That you won’t amount to anything.
In these 18 years you’ve been in spaceships and castles.
You’ve gone from training wheels to taking tests.
Streetlights are no longer your curfew
And every sunset is a different ending.
You’ll go to bed tonight
And wake up 10 years from now in a panic
Looking for something you lost the day before.
The world never stopped falling apart
And the sun hasn’t even made an appearance yet.
Your spaceships have landed
And your treasure maps turned out to be dead ends...

And I think that -for the most part- we deserve this.
This uncomfortable mystery.
I mean…
What’s the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?
If you knew what you were looking for,
There’s no adventure in the search for it.
So why is it that every time I see a sunset...
My gut reaction is to run away from it?
Maybe because I know I’m still searching for something
And my time is running out.
And everyday when I wake up,
Panicked,
Looking for something I lost the day before
The world starts falling apart…
But by then…
The sun is already setting.

We’ve all said it before...
That we’re looking for something…
That we’re just not sure what it is…

And at the end of that day,
What you're looking for could be right in front of you,
Plain as the sunset,
But you'll never know unless you keep your eyes open,
And keep looking.

So if you’re listening to this right now hoping to hear something new,
Hoping to hear something that might inspire you
Or give you that rush you’ve been looking for…
Just…
Keep looking…

Sadness is *****.
I'm bathin' in my blues.
My heart is a hurtin'
The tears are burnin'
You never had a clue.
I shower in my sorrows
Let my pain cascade around me.
Still my friends surround me.

Sickness is deserting.
Whining pain keeps churning.
A sickness in my heart,
A sickness in my soul.
With every passing day,
There comes a deadly cold.

Happiness is cleansing.
The feeling of joy,
I'm not pretending.
With a smile on my face,
Just one last grand embrace.
With that look in your eyes,
The sadness is gone,
Without a trace.

we’ve hit every topic:
reincarnation, the universe
politics, love
and all it did was create a void
that i’ll never be able to fill.
regardless of the amount
of poetry i devour or
literature i pretend to understand
at the end of the day i am just as empty
as before reading shakespeare
or the brontë sisters