Her laugh from a distance heard vaguely in the near,
Vision of her face reminiscently will appear,
The glory of gold embracing light of the sun,
Shadows disappear as transformation has begun,
Magical colors of silver and gold,
Fading away the chill of cold,
Bringing warmth to that of those chosen,
No longer in a body left frozen,
Heavens embrace of silver and gold,
With the white of glowing snow,
Her laugh from a distance heard vaguely in the near,
Visions of her face reminiscently appear,
'Child of mine you followed my direction I put forth your way,
Come to me and do not be afraid,
I will walk you the rest of the way,
To meet your daughter,
Your husband and your father,
Thank you my child for believing in me when I asked,
It is my honor to introduce to you, heaven at last.

1/8/2017

Writers Hand~
Let me write without struggle,
Give me strength without pain,
Let the words embrace freedom,
And endure courage without shame,
Let me be guided by wisdom the words of perfect, while signing my name,
With masterpiece and skill,
Let me write into words of what I feel,
Let me write with hands ready to deal,
Let me write with words so that people can heal,
Let me write with words that calm the insane,
Let me write with words that help the crazy maintain,
Let me write through visions of someone else's eyes,
Let me write with courage to break the barrier of those who hide,
Let me write with tears of those who cry,
Let me write for those who are no longer alive,
And
Let me write for those struggling to survive,
Let me write without prejudice and fear,
Let me write with a mind that is clear,
Let me write to help decisions be made for those who can't decide,
Let me write with embrace to the writers who have already tried,
Let me give truth to the words that have been lied,
Let the writer within me empower the emotion in my book,
Let me write with knowledge without a second look,

Let my goals become real,
Let my words break you down to the part you'd never thought you'd feel,
Let my words capture your thoughts and everything real,
Let me be guided to write from the eyes of those who hurt,
Let me be guided to write from the eyes of people treated like dirt,
Let me be one with my eyes closed of a perfect poem,
Let it be seen by the eyes of the unknown,
Don't let time pass me bye without a blink,
Don't let the pages of my life be written without ink,
Let me grow in poetic wisdom through a channel of the unknown,
Let me be the writer who inspires others to know they're not alone,
Don't let me be the writer who signs author unknown,
Let me be guided by the Lord that my pen tends to write,
Who gives me courage to write without light,
Lord give me strength to write to inspire those who are lost,
Let me write without a penny of any cost,
Let me write to bare fruit for my family to eat,
Let me write to give faith and empower defeat,
Let me be the writer you created me to be,
Let me be one with my pen, paper, and ink,
Let me be the writer that writes better than I think,
Lord,
Let me write with your hand,
And let me follow the life for me you have planned.
Amen

1/8/2017

I can only give credit to one,
Whose been there since my life really begun,
Who stayed even when he wanted to run,
All of my childhood memories have you in the scene,
You didn't know how to raise someone else's kids,
So sometimes I thought you were mean,
Your jokes and stories you would tell, & still the pride of a strong heart,
It was us who tried to keep it together when it was falling apart,
Everytime a new escape plan by my mom was tried,
I'd stand there & at your side,
Or when she wouldn't come back after the ******* stories and stupid lies,
No matter how we lived our lives,
Our family has a love that still stands strong,
Maybe it's because we had a dad manage to try & keep it together when everything went wrong,
I think you finally got over the guilt & shame,
For the absence of your other daughters that loved you the same,
And I know you still live with the burden of its pain,
I can only give credit to one,
The one who stayed even when he wanted to run,
I hoped that one day you'd love me the same,
Eventhough I'm the only daughter out of 7 that doesn't have your name,
What about the other kids that were born with you by their side,
Decisions have to be made & you had to decide,
You chose to stay & raise them anyways & put everything else aside,
You claimed them as your own, that in which you never denied,
You hold all of the memories & moments of their life & all that they've known,
But when they were born, you knew that they were not born As Your Own.
People often wonder why you are put on a pedastool so high,
You are an angel seen through the wisdom of God's eye,
Your intellegence is what most people see,
As a child all the times you'd pass it on to me,
You are much smarter than that of common seed,
Random encyclopedia projects & numerous books we'd read,
I can't complain because you are a better dad than I expected you to be,
And you are the only dad I'd ever really need,
As I'd climb up on your lap since I was 2, as you'd listen to me read,
I hope I was the daughter you expected me to be,
I can only give credit to one,
Sure things got tough & we wanted to run,
But you didn't & that's what makes you # 1,
Not everything was perfect & sometimes it got rough,
Why couldn't we just change it when enough was enough?,
We grew up & Life's still tough,
But will we know how to crawl out of a hole if we get stuck?,
Sorry if I've ever hurt you or made you mad,
But some memories still hurt real bad,
Not everything was easy, in fact with everyday struggles it got too hard,
The bad memories we usually set aside or often discard,
We try to cover them up like they don't exist,
We were smart enough to know everytime they came into our lives it was just to cross us off the list,
When things were in place & just as they should,
Even the hard times turned out pretty good,
Some stuggles even brought happiness at the end even if times were hard,
Those will be the moments that are left unscarred,
Mom tried hard to get our lives back to where it belongs,
I guess it wasn't meant to be that way for very long,
I may be the only daughter without your name,
But I love you more than I would if you were My Own,
Things have changed and I am grown,
I am older now,
To have you as my dad I could never be more proud,
I can only give credit to one,
Who stayed even when he wanted to run,
Is this the life for us that was planned?
Sure time goes bye, but you are a better man,
I may be the only daughter without your name,
But our blood still bleeds the same,
My recent distance from this family made me miss you so much more,
But if I didnt then I would be reluctant & life be lived without lore,                                    
I feel like I can't move from this spot, for so long i have been gone,
I left to find my place in this world, but is this where I belong?,
I will always be your daughter, so let that be known,
I was gone for a little while but now I'm home,
My heart is heavy with this undying fear,
That one day I'll wake up & you'll no longer be here,
I can only give credit to one,
Who decided to stay even when he wanted to run,
If objects in mirror are closer than they appear,...
Then tomorrow is already here,
So lets clean the mirror so we can see real clear,
When someone doesn't want something they throw it away, or leave it behind,
My real father never changed his mind,
He never looked back, so he left long ago....so that a better dad i would find,
And to your surprise,
Yet another daughter at your side,
To tug on your pants & ask you questions all the time,
Who believed in everything you've accomplished & even the things you've tried,
You were put in my life as my dad for a reason,
Without you I wouldn't have anything to believe in,
I'm sorry if I've made you cry,
By these poetic words that I write,
I stand here as your daughter & I stand here all alone,
I may not be the daughter who shares the blood of your own,
But my plan is to stand here until the fray of fabric once kept together
   by the stitching once perfectly sewn,
Do you love me as your daughter?
Do you love me As Your Own?               
 
                                                              7/15/2015
For the only one I call DAD
Darrell Lee Tumlin

reluctant: unwilling, hesitant, resistant
lore: knowledge, knowing

Force of Shock~
 
Does it gotta be so hard, putting into perfect words of how I feel?,
When infact it doesn't even seem real?,
Still shakin by the force of shock,
Hit hard, like pieces crumbling from a solid rock,
Only the loud sounds of the hands
circling.... tic-toc..,
 
Trying to call you on the phone, but I have to stop,
Slow motion, and frozen, like the very last second of a dying clock,
I can still hear your voice, making the tears fall from my cheek,
You gave up, let go, and your pain made you weak,
 
As the thoughts take over, and continue to burn my soul,
Haunts me at night, as to why you let go,
Taking longer for my heart to heal,
Dad, you're supposed to stand in front of me,
and from this pain, guard me like a shield,
 
I admit that I thought you were dead once before,
All your travels made it hard to place an address on your door,
Your disappearance was silent for yet another 10 years of my life,
A bond created by the inner strength of your wife,
 
Brought together a relationship made of steel,
The journey began, and everything became real,
She went to heaven, and upon the sadness,
 and pain of her death; she could only be free,
If knowing that here on earth, you now have me,
We were strangers, Yes and spent our entire lives apart,
You always said that even miles away, I was your heart,
But when you lost your wife everything got dark,
 
Still shakin by the force of shock,
Hit hard, pieces still falling from a once solid rock,
Our recent memories were so real,
That if I close my eyes, your touch I can really feel,
Your face is right here,
And my vision of you is clear,
 
I am blessed to have been in the presence
 of every memory that we share,
Secret location of "our place" in the middle of nowhere,
Outside sports you and the kids would play,
Crawl up next to grandpa every night, and that's where he'd stay,
Why couldn't you just give it to God if you were afraid?
 
The games of your conscious, would no longer be played,
The dark sky, and storms of heavy rain,
Washing away the tears, releasing you of your pain,
Drink after drink, and constant battles drove you insane,
Everything would soon fade,
 
What stood in the way of prayer? Step to
the ladder and kneal,
Or did you sacrifice your life, and
take the wrong deal?
You stood empty, alone, with
worthless hope,
You just wanted it to go away, so you pulled
and released the rope,
Why did you make me love you, then
leave me to cry?,
When it was your choice to live or die,
I still need you daddy, don't make me say goodbye,
 
Still shakin by the force of shock,
Hit hard, like pieces crumbling from a solid rock,
Only the loud sounds of the hands circling...tic-toc...,
Still trying to call you on the phone, but I have to stop,
Slow motion, and frozen, like the very
 last second of a dying clock,
 
I will give MY pain to the Lord, and get the right deal,
Dad, you're supposed to stand in front of me,
and from this pain, guard me like a shield,
Its okay Dad, God said you can walk behind me
in the land of heavenly fields.
 
Poetic...(a.k.a)...  Shannon Lee Rohn
09/10/2012
For; my father Kelley Lee Rohn

Sometimes we have to pick ourselves up, because nobody else will,
Sometimes we have to build walls that nobody else can build,
Other times we let people in the barriers of our shield,
And sometimes we break down our wall without first being healed.
God, give me the strength to fight another day,
And change my mind when my heart stands in the way.
Sometimes we struggle after we fall,
Sometimes standing alone is better than having nobody at all.
Thank you God, for taking over when I was ready to give up and break down,
You waited patiently til I was ready to be found,
I give to you my breath, I give to you my all,
Thank you for standing here waiting for me to call,
Sometimes we must let go of what is only extra weight,
Other times we give up before it's too late,
And everything good in us, turns to hate.
Thank you God, for being my strength.

~Unforgiven~

How many chances do you need to get the hint?
How many times have you told me I’m a *******?
The unforgiven man will go to hell,
Because he couldn’t stand after he fell,
How many times does it take to see that it’s real?
How many more times must it be for my heart to turn to steel?
God will not forgive you,
As you burn in hell,
God will not forgive you,
As you sit in an 8x10 cell,
We pray to God and end with Amen,
It’s not over again, 'cause it happens again,
The judge said
“If you strike her again you’ll go to jail,”
“I’ll send you to prison with no bail,”
The unforgiven man will no longer be,
The unforgiven man can no longer see… that
God will not forgive you,
As you burn in hell,
And God will not forgive you,
As you sit for your last time in jail,
That beautiful girl you had to ****,
Now you must know how it feels,
To sit in jail, and rot in Hell.
UNFORGIVEN


8/2005

Some people are together for certain reasons, & they don't know why,
And they were happy until the day he showed his anger, & walked away leaving her to cry,
She wanted to understand you, & she really tried,
But you continued to make her feel lonely inside,
Like a little girl who crawled into a corner, trying to hide.
The thoughts in her head constantly battle each other so bad, that she'd rather die,
Than to have real love that's based on a lie,
It should be a feeling that makes her so happy, and lifted so high,
And want to dance with the angels through the sky,

Why try to understand how a person will always be,
Is it because you think 'He's going to change for me?'
When the truth is so simple, it's standing in your face,
They'll only know; if it's their own medicine they have to taste,
But I cant live my life just to stand in one place,
Just because people say that it's safe,
I always had to risk my heart, even if it was a mistake,

The world would be a wonderful place to see,
If only I wasn't blinded by the love that stands in front of me,
Should I let you continue to say sorry for every time you let me cry?
Or should I let you walk away, leaving my soul to wilt & die,?
People should open their eyes,
They might actually be surprised,
Girls are created to hold onto the good times,
Not to have a bad day, then lead the ones we love to their hidden cries,

She wants to love you so much, but she can't see how you feel,
How can you love her, when your heart's not even real?
You stand in front of her, but you're guarded like a shield,
I know the the pain from your past,
Has forced you to wear a mask,

I can't live my life believing your every word,
It's about what is shown, not what is heard,
You'd think that by now you would have learned,
How to put out the fire before you get burned,
When Karma strikes, the hurt & pain will be returned,

You let the tears fall, now it's too late,
The pain of her cries turned love into hate,
Maybe it's meant to be, maybe it's fate,
Will she let you back in through the entrance gate,
You can't live your life, just to stand in one place,
When the truth is so simple it's standing in your face,
These constant thoughts & feelings are making her ill,
With a feeling so real, that you must know how it feels,
You walked off and let her soul stand still,
To be hurt by love so bad that it gave you chills.


1/7/2014

Seven Sins
Our body knows from within,
Was it... what was left of my lipstick stain?
From the lust and passion that burns in our soul's remain.
Or the constant thought of someone else, whose *** is that of the same,
My husband will **** you, 'cause you're the blame,
Being with a beautiful woman behind his back, and I
don't even know her name,
Why does it feel so good to be bad and have no shame?
Is it a test or just a friendly game?
I'm sorry to cause anyone pain.
I can't stop seeing this girl with no name.
Soon she captured all of my time,
Wasted days on lustful nights,
Without remorse or regret,
It seems my family at home I'd soon forget.
I started noticing her quiet sin,
When she invited others to join in,
I didn't want to do it, but she said it'll be okay it'll never happen again.
But it did, a different guy every time.
What am I doing, I'm losing my mind,
I look in the mirror, my eyes hollow and dark, my skin is pale and pink,
No wonder.. she was pouring powder from a capsule into my drink,
What is going on, I feel so clouded and can barely think

I felt encaptured in a mental place from where I couldn't escape,
I was willing, so they can't call it ****,
If I'm supposed to learn from this, then it's too late,
I need to lay down, this sickness I can't take,
Stumble to the bed where i just want to sleep,
Something's making me really weak,
My husband found me, banged on the door til it broke,
The place stunk of *****, and clouded smoke,
He brought his gun and yelled "what did you do to my wife"
Lay in his arms as he carried me with limp and lifeless legs,
With a cigarette in her hand, points to me and says...
"You should have read the rules before you played,
Now you're going to die with AIDS,"
My husband stopped, looked at her and said,
"No one's going to miss you when you're dead,"
Put his finger on the trigger and shot her in the head.

Now my kids live without a mom, and my husband without a wife,
Seven sins couldn't keep me alive'
I couldn't go back, not even if I tried,
Started with meaningless *** and stupid lies,
To lust and *** with multiple guys,
Unfaithful deceit, to
Abandonment and defeat,
from illusion of **** to drugs and drink.
Life is more important than we think,
Before thinking your husband doesn't give you enough love,
I hope you read The Seven Sins I just listed above...

You don't own me, So you cant tell me what to do"
then he said...
"Little girl...your endless chatter, I'll show you who you have to listen to"
How just a few little words could make a person so mad,
How he could hurt a young girl so bad.
Came to me with this anger in his eyes,
I wasn't scared at first, until I noticed behind my back my arms were tied,
What should I do now? Maybe I should scream,
Maybe I'm sleeping and this is just a dream,
panic sets in, and my heart's beating fast,
Anxiety trembles my souls quivering moments last,

Sounds of the shots fired captured the echo,
He wasn't done, he wasn't going to letgo,
He must have been tired of my mouths chatter,
But then again does it really matter?
I think he wants me dead,
'Cause of all the bad things that i said,

Maybe he can't take it, maybe he is weak,
He should know, God gave me a voice to speak
He cant handle someone who stands up for herself at only 13,
I just hate that my mom doesn't know,
When she's gone, her boyfriend makes me take off my clothes,

The endless chatter plays over and over again in his head,
'You don't own me, You can't tell me what to do" that's all I said,
Maybe I should let him **** me, Maybe I'm better off dead,
I'd rather be, than him forcing me naked on his bed,
Curdles my stomach and makes me want to puke,
All the things he forces me to do,

I kept it hidden, for so long inside,
When he moved in, I was a quiet girl and a bit shy,
Sometimes I just lay in bed and cry,
Maybe it's better off if I die,
Let him **** me, I don't want to be alive,

It lasted longer than I thought,
This time I screamed, hoping he would get caught,
This was the hardest I've ever fought,
I knew he wasn't going to stop,

On my face, the blood that drips from cuts on my skin,
What am I doing, I'm letting this guy win,
If I give up, He'll do it again,
And everything I said wasn't just endless chatter,
The words I so strongly spoke really does matter ?
If he doesn't stop now, then another girls life he'd shatter,

I've got to be strong, and no longer will I cry,
I changed my mind, I no longer want to die,
When he wasn't looking I'd slip my legs through the ropes ?
The knife was still laying on the bed, I was able to slip and cut til it broke,
With the knife in my hand and blood on my skin ?
He'll never have the chance to do this again,
He walked in, noticed foot prints of blood on the floor,
I wasn't on the bed I was behind the door,

Pierced his skin through the side of his neck,
I don't know if he layed there dead,
I ran outside to the neighbors door,
I've never felt this way before,
I ran for help so the cops could do the rest,
I fought hard, I did my best,
Then I realized the blood was coming from my chest,

Took my last breath then hit the ground,
I waited to hear sirens, that was the last sound.
My mom lay crying at hospital beds side,
I woke up 2 weeks later, I fought hard, I really tried,
I had to decide,..
  Today is not the day to die.
I can take it, I'm not weak,
God gave me a voice, and I'll use it to speak.

Every Moment~

Sometimes we set ourselves back,
Everything we once had, disappeared as we shifted off track,
Everyday we struggle to find our way back.
The pain is buried so deep,
That a smile on our face is hard to keep,
Yet another battle on our own we have to defeat.

Why is the glory of the finish line so hard to reach?
When we find that our mistakes often repeat,
A lesson for our children should not be hard to teach,
Spots and area's of our life and past are faded like bleach.
How do we keep coming back when we fall so hard?
The important moments in our life we often discard.

We worry so much what other people think,
And let worry conquer, in turn making us weak,
Sometimes we are drained by emotions and
not strong enough to speak,
We have no control, or power over someone else's thoughts,
how they feel or what they choose to see,
But our gratitude to be who we are created to be.
Why is it someone else's life we often forseek?
When all we really need is to look inside of what
makes our own heart beat.
Besides who ever said 'life is a one way street?'
As long as we learn that our mistakes are not meant to repeat.

Grab a hold of your seat,...
Life will pass us bye without a blink,
And the pages of our lives be written without ink.

Sometimes we set ourselves back,
Everything we once had, disappeared as we shifted off track,
Everyday we struggle to find our way back.
Have we not realized the reason we are here?
Not everyone is hidden behind what they appear.
We walk this earth and struggle to bring it all back,
Open your eyes and see that you're not lost, just a little off track.

Will your kids still love you the same,
When your mistakes are covered and sprinkled with shame?
Why would you deny any mistake, if every moment has its place?
If the greatest memory of your life was taken from you because
of one given mistake....
You'd take it all back with every breath you take.

There is a reason for every moment, and its effect on our soul.
But will you embrace it or will you let it go?
Notice every memory as if time stood still,
Imagine every moment already lost, and never
again have the chance to feel.

I will smile more tomorrow because I know that I tried,
It's worth the struggle when you finally reach the top of mountain high.
So before you decide to hate the the struggle....remember
It's the struggle that put you on track,
Life's greatest gift, is the journey on how we find our way back.

Every moment given, is every memory taken,
Given to us for a deal never worth breakin',
The cycle of the struggle is what makes us strong,
To finally find our spot in life and where we belong,
Without setting ourselves back and doing it all wrong.
Not to repeat the mistakes of our past,
Just breathe and inhale every moment.... as if it's our last.

~Same Hand~

Embraced by the hand
that holds you,
Touched by the hand
that loves you,
Struck by the same hand
that hits you.

You know that he loves you, because he tells you so,
You know that he hates you, when he leaves and has to go,
You know that he misses you, because he returns,
You hate to let him in, because it's your heart that burns.

Embraced by the hand
that holds you,
Touched by the hand
that loves you and
Struck by the same hand
that hits you.

He makes you cry often enough to damage your heart,
The tears fall when you believe that he likes to be apart,
You want him to hold you and tell you "sorry & it's okay,"
Knowing it wouldn't last throughout the day.

Embraced by the hand
that holds you,
Touched by the hand
that loves you,
Hit by the same hand
that struck you,

And you were...
Struck by the same hand
that loved you,
The same hand
that loved you,
Is the same hand
that killed you.

Place of Mind ~

My mind seems to often drift,
 Enough to let one confuse,
So much of the inner soul sets to lift,
 Thoughts of empty thinking for one to amuse,
My lids over my eyes will eventually close,
 One of God's given rules;
Of every single spirit must arrose,
He makes no man as they are fools,
He created the human soul, and these are his rules;
             
                    Life is not given to you, it is earned,
In Death,   Life is not taken from you, it is returned,
                  To ****, by using the words of his name,
                  Shall regret, by saying it in vein,
                  The only holy son, wept his tears, and
                    shed his blood,
                  For he stayed silently on the cross, and
                    left to die but took the blame,
                  When disbelief brought storm, the
                    tears & blood were washed away by rain,
                  Since then, life hasn't been the same.
                  To be of woman, as Same as
                    to be of man,
                   Represent our soul and he'll lead
                    us through the sand,
                  To be guided and taught, as part of
                    his life's plan,
                  Walk with him, but don't forget to
                    ask him for his hand.
                  Give respect to all, in every
                    matter and form,
                  Your life will appear more magical
                    like it was the day that Jesus was born,
                  Don't let it wash away like it did the day of the storm,
                  Only one chance to fulfill your spirit,
                  Stand back and listen, I think I hear it...

Eyes Closed ~
 
Why can’t you See it? Why don’t you care?
Why have you lost hope, and given up?
As you turn in circles and run a muck.
Have you lost your touch,
Or just bad luck?
 
Your old habits have returned,
The lessons from your past you haven’t learned.
Crazy ways of thinking, yet hoping for a way out,
Changing your life is what it’s all about.
 
I didn’t want to leave you,
But I had to get away,
No one taught me the game of Life,
Or the directions on how to play.
I wish that you would see all that you have lost,
 With nothing left to gain,
Just a lot of children who suffer with endless pain.
 
I know that you are blinded by the darkness,
 and unable to defend,
So please, step into the light, with a life
 that’s no longer pretend.
I miss you so much, and I love you even more,
You are in my prayers at night, when I pray to the Lord.
 
Why can’t you See it? Why don’t you care?
You are with me every night and day, with my every prayer.
Our family had always been so close,
A bond that was of enemy’s envy, and love that they’d want most.
Unavailable at highest price, and can’t be sold,
Bonded by a love so strong, that made others turn cold.
 
As hard as it is to be so far away,
I gotta remember that I need to learn someday,
The things in life you didn’t teach me, nor show me the way,
That’s okay, ‘cause I wouldn’t be who I am today,
 
I’ve always been strong, and only God knows how,
And that’s a blessing, for my life is better now,
I cry a lot because I miss you,
You are my best friend, my mother,
And I can’t be without you.
 
So why can’t you just walk away from that awful place?
The town that should be condemned from the human race.
That’s ******* the life from your soul,
It’s holding you back, not letting you go,
Waiting for you to lose all control.
 
Why Can’t you See it? Why don’t you care?
What happened to my mom, and why isn’t she there?
Are you afraid of the way your life may change,
Maybe afraid of something new, so keep with the strange?
 
You walk around, but your eyes are closed,
You also run back, ‘cause it’s the life you chose.
You don’t wanna be open to the free world,
 So admit you are lost,
Hidden behind your soul, and given to the wrong
 higher power at our cost,
 
Have you given up because you had no choice?
Maybe not strong enough to stand up with no voice?
You let enemies believe they were right,
and took advantage of you,
Time and time again; and out the window
your life you threw.
 
So grab all the kids, and just disappear,
Come up here, and your life will seem clear.
I’ll take care of you all, with every promise I make,
Just like before, with no given mistake.
 
Walk off with your head held high,
Don’t look back, as you tell Barstow “ Goodbye”
You’ll be happy, and no longer will you cry.
Your expectancy on what a man should
or must provide for you is wrong,
It is in your hands where all stability should be strong,
And give us a life, and family where we belong.
I Love You !!

I am what's constant to your brain,
I know you want me, but I can't feel your pain,
I am what mentally keeps you insane,
And the pleasant of your words are in vein,
 
I am what makes you so blind,
Not even your heart can leave me behind,
I am what stays on your mind,
You'll feel me, when you've been hit in the back of the head,
I am what makes you fall, ' Cause it's you I want dead.
 
I am what gave up your life,
Everything you had, even your wife.
But don't be afraid,
It was an even trade,
I am the sacrifice you've made,
It's the little one's who needed you to pray,
Instead you let them astray.
 
I am not what's wrong, but right,
I am the anger that makes you fight.
I am what's wrong,
But where you belong.
 
I am what makes your cries fade,
And the sun shade,
I am what makes the hurt go away,
But I am the game that you like to play, and
What brings you back everyday,
    Once the pain is gone,
    I AM what makes you strong,
    I AM not what you give,
    I AM the greed,
    I AM not what you want,
    I AM what you need,
    I AM not what you see,
    But what makes your heart weak.
 
I am what made your life drain,
I am actually the cause, and blame,
Of what drives you insane,
I am the hidden soul that makes your blood bleed,
I am the addiction they call "SPEED".

~ Walls of Flesh ~

Life isn't just what is seen in a pretty picture,
But the secrets buried from within the walls of our flesh, and hidden deep inside,
Intellectually we stand tall, body held strong by the back bone of our pride,
While we battle the constant thoughts of the conscious mind,
Unable to see the whole picture because we are blind.

What if we crossed the wrong bridge, or took the wrong street?
Should we prepare ourselves for lies and deceit?
Instead of what makes our heart beat?

Trying to look prettier everyday,
but still perfect in God's eyes,
Inside we still burn with secrets and lies,
Still trying to control in their heart
what lives or dies,
How do you deal with those whose mind has taken over their lives?
Behind the walls of flesh is where they hide.

We don’t have time to let anyone else in,
So our lives are basically pretend,
We hold up a shield that's made of tin.
Some people can't handle the struggle, so their thoughts drive them insane,
But still strong, holding onto the pride while showing no pain.
Then what happens to the one's who are weak and can't stand alone without pride?
Will they just disintegrate and die?
Will the secrets and pain eat them alive?
Our soul is eating it's flesh from within, trying to survive,
Wanting to escape from behind the walls of where they hide.

The pain from our past,
Has forced us to wear a mask.
Deliberating the differences of the
pro's & con's,
The scale tips, unbalanced decisions of right or wrong,
Those who are lost, searching for their place in this world and where they belong.

Life isn't just what is seen in a pretty picture,
But the secrets that burn from behind the walls of our flesh, and hidden deep inside,
Body held up by the back bone of our pride.
So why can't we break down the walls of our flesh and let everyone in?
No matter their differences, no matter their sin?
Because as humans we are afraid of possible hurt,
And that is no reason to treat them like dirt.
To be the person that you were created to be,
Take a chance to just break free,
Convince our soul that its okay to finally breathe.
Reach inside yourself and decide,...
' Inside these walls of flesh,  
I NO LONGER HIDE ! '