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Carter Ginter Mar 2018
I've been searching for the source of these emotions
Because jealousy and other things
Are typically a result of your own perceptions
And it took me awhile to figure it out
I lost some blood along this unknown path
But then I came upon the answers
Because of something my best friend said
And now it all makes sense

I have always had a problem
With investing too much of myself into love
I begin identifying too strongly with the relationship
And any roadblocks feel as though
My entire universe is crashing before me
And looking at this one here
I've done the exact same thing

When we were first together
I told you I needed to continue working on myself
In order to avoid giving you all of my energy
And as soon as I stopped doing that
I fell into old habits

So it makes sense why I feel entirely crazy these days
Why I can consciously recognize that
You having another partner isn't the end of my world
Because you still love me
And I love you undyingly
Yet I still had overwhelming negative cognitions
That made me feel like dying

And now I realize that
In order to deal with these feelings
I have to focus on me again
Recognize that I need to improve myself
For myself
And then this will get easier
Thankfully it already has

Because I love you so much more
When I'm taking care of myself
Because instead of feeling like I have
No real choice but to stay
It now feels like a beautiful privilege
And it truly is
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
When someone takes their life they leave behind more than just shaken worlds and teary eyes.
There's the questions, the theories, the regrets and the blame.
But with that missing piece, the picture can't be the same.

They tell us to move on,
Give it up, Let it go.
But there's no way to forget because I will always want to know.

I am always going to question you and wonder, just what it was exactly,
That made you think the world better without you.
What made you think you had the answers - all matter of ******* factly.

I want to know if you thought of me
Before you pulled the trigger.
Could your brain get past blur
Past the effects of your liquor?

I've considered the possibilities
I've thought about the doubt
But I know this world was better with you in it
And it's worse off without.

I see the devastation that you left behind.
The hearts and minds you've crushed
And you were in a hurry to escape it all
But what really was the rush?

I don't believe this was your goal
Causing this hurt and this pain
But I don't think you had stopped to think it out
And now we are all left to finish the game.

You didn't leave behind a note
Or an answer to be heard
You left without saying goodbye
Leaving me the final word

You went and killed yourself last spring
The days recall so clear
I wonder if I'll ever forget
Or if I am doomed to live in fear

I can't put the pieces together
I can't clarify the tale
I don't think I'll ever be the same
You set me up to fail

Yes I know it's not my fault
You went and chose to die
But no matter how hard I try to blame you
I will never truly understand why.
divinity m May 2018
if i had a tattoo  
for every sin I've committed with you
i'd be covered
something random that popped in my head while i was looking at tattoo ideas. thought it sounded cool so i wrote it down
Onoma Oct 2018
the scent of closeness,

carries with it the tumid

space of animal nature.

edges encountering edges in

brilliant survey...some will

surpass others for survival.

matters of all stripe will inform

the balance, you're fully committed...

there's no way out.

no way in.

dig deep, then dig deeper...forget

flesh--bone is only the beginning.

we eat ourselves alive, as well as

others.

bones are the impartial memory of that

hunger...continuously recoated with

flesh till that hunger's no more.
Emmanuella Nov 2018
"I can’t figure it out.” She said.
“I like cigars,
and pretty dresses and crossing my legs.”
She paused,
then continued,
“And I like smoking cigars in pretty dresses while crossing my legs.”
She uncrossed them,
then crossed them again.
One smooth limb over the other.
Just like that.

“But I never seem to have a lighter on hand.
Could you— sir,
please light my cigar?”
“You see, I have no pockets to hold such things and my purse…
Well,
You’ve confiscated that, haven’t you?”

“Thanks.” She breathed,
and inhaled,
and exhaled;
Sluggish wisps of smoke dissipating into the air.
Just. like .that.

“I didn’t know L'homme was into women who smoke cigars in pretty dresses while crossing their legs", She said.
“I mean, how was I to know?
I only noticed him noticing me.
It was probably the way my hair was tousled like so,
Or how my lipstick shone a deep, dangerous rogue,
Or the way I sipped at my champagne…
That made him walk over.”

“But I never asked him to light my cigar
Or comment on my dress…
Or stroke my legs.
So when I whacked him up top over the head with my glass,
I bet he never expected it to shatter and split his skull like so.
He dropped so sudden, sir. I…”
Another ringlet of smoke, a sigh, an uncrossing and crossing of legs again.
“I had no clue,
what else to do,
But to sit still in my pretty dress, with my legs crossed, smoking my cigar trying to figure out...
Just how I'd committed ******.”
"She's a dangerous woman...
Who can ****,
Just with her *** appeal".
zebra  Aug 2017
REVENEANT
zebra Aug 2017
i am much younger than i am
my hair is dark and thick
instead of pruned bald
i am lean and meek
feeling hollow
as if weightless

we are at an airport
with no memory of getting there
i had left my hotel room urgently
in a jacket that is not mine
i can't find my Swedish wife
whom i miss like a panicked child
and my Asian wife whom i've never never met before
and know all to well
is angry
and could care less if i got lost forever

i am going home to my parents house
i remember that they are dead
but we had just spoken
there will be soup and Hors d'oeuvre's
they wait for me
on my way
the streets and boulevards are unfamiliar
yet old hat
and no matter how long i walk
i can never find their house
it's located somewhere in Brooklyn
on Haze street in San Francisco
bright is the sun

i have a business
and retain no idea of what i do
i left my cloths somewhere
and i don't know why
in a locality i cant remember
for a reason that doesn't exist

a beautiful woman smiles offers me ***
she is friends with a girlfriend whom i'm committed too
but do not know and never met
i want to cheat with her
but guilty kisses will ruin everything
so i turn away
murdering desire
in an already anchor-less miasma

i remember a past
my life a continuum
of disjointed vagaries
tears well up

i fear myself a figment
a bodiless revenant
stranded in a fog
sparkles and smoke
incandescence and shrouds
a dis-junctured soul
that clutches memories
like braids of dust
living in the eye of nothing
a labyrinth of shades
lighted by the sun of cognizance
a wretched phantom
transparent husk
living a dark fiction
my grave a womb

i am the dead living
Irish Ditty.. One fine day, middle of the night, two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
Dan Filcek Apr 2015
collect payment support
regulatory regimes including failed merger which
effect enclosed circle including capital
Other responsibilities include:
enforce administering registrations
Responsibility protection
overarching public service
strong cadre investigating previous criminal work
Alcohol aligned
tackle pounds
Their skills range: intrusive
arrest, entry, search, detention.
detain anyone committed
listed parts which deter intelligence
analysis assessment:
the nascent department staff
occupies office
cultures: mating the terrier with the retriever
interim period empowered
relation matters within remit
Customs: ethnic-minority permanent policy of racial discrimination.
This year for Poetry Month, I decided to post a "found poem" every day. If writing a poem is like painting, a "found poem" is like sculpting. - source - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HM_Revenue_and_Customs
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