Feelings of confusion, keeps bugging my head
Feelings of unsureness, I'm painting it all red
Feelings of frustration, overcomes me instead
Feelings still wavering, keeps me from falling to bed

Restless hidden away
opaque shafts blade
the windowsill.
An appetite too shorn
of confidence
welters prism
of carriages too far gone.

Each moment so meant
Each particle tickles
Soothing, yet chilling
Humbling, yet exhilarating
In this bliss I find contentment
And once again bask in my ability to understand that it is all so meant
Minty and cool
The breeze blows you this way and that way
Sway each day just to end up the same
Why do we make this some sort of a game we play?
Some sort of dream we convey
In the sea of what could be
I found you
You found me
The joy to be in this see
Oh the significance
The sign if I can see
Through all the in betweens that cloud my mind
I begin to want to fall behind
But truly I am getting ahead
I am falling into each thought, each sense, and each interaction
It is a contraction
A fraction of all, a piece to this maze that leads you to peace
To beneath your own skin, your own life, to him
To her and to us
It is all we, can’t you see
We get up and we go
Just to fold into no
We breathe in through our knows
And let go of our holds
No we can be free
Without gages, or wages, or ages
We just are
It is not far
It is right here, right now
If only you will let it
No more excuses, abuses, reuses, and unsureness
Just let it go
You reap what you sow
Think of your actions, your thoughts, and your words
They are all you have got to express how you feel
To make it all real
You are thought
You are dreams
You are sunbeams
You are infinite love and light
You are feel
It is surreal, this dreamboat we float on
It tips over and we scatter, it wrecks and we shatter
All this matter is not what matters
It comes and it goes
No need to attach or latch, it will all go, just as it came
It’s the same
This cycle is recycled and trialed
Only leading us to denial
It is time to take responsibility for what we emit
And admit and just quit the deceit
The scurrying and worrying
Just stop
Do it now
Breathe and perceive in your own way and just play
It’s okay
Do it now
Don’t put it off because you are too busy or too tired
Tomorrow I will stop
What if there is no tomorrow
Living just to borrow, existing in your own sorrow
Free yourself from yourself
You are beautiful
If you cannot believe that, then you know you are youtifull
So be youtifull, beyoutifull
It is all you have to do, is be you, exactly as you are
We are all just apiece to this puzzle
All completing each other
We are all of all
All love all!

Escapism Dream
Escapism dream
Heart crushed symphony
Strings of sound tied together by hope
This expression our only weapon to expose
All this oppression when we don’t even know the root
Our only savior each others’ demise
Oh my eyes to my soul cannot take this any longer
Spending our daze
In an oblivion maze
This haze
It pulls me into the unknown
A pool of uncertainty
All luring we
This wave
We came in on and shattered on the sure
Always needing more
Our hearts pour out of places unknown
Separation overgrown
Fumbling forward we gracefully gasp
As they take off their masks
Feeled up to our seal, time to reveal and re-feel
This ever-living ghost of what once was
Creeps through my new and leaves only fuzz
This dream quilt unraveling
The patches detaching
Yet the thread remains, it was love all along
Always sing our dream song

The rattle is shaken and life becomes unfixed
Torrential rains cascades downwards on ancient bricks
These stunning moments have been rediscovered
In wonder all is flustered in awe as the state of silence honks
Love creeps out of tune in time, the unsureness of cold feet
The voice fades, the toned whispers continually erased
Stormed and soaked, stilled and stalked by a heart that stole my dream
Drenched in uncertainty, non-favouring multitudes won't let me be
These flutters flattens and deflated, I stroll and I will not run
The floating fun fares vanishes, the morning bird furnishes
The time capsule evaporated, unstripped and frozen

Ohh, how I wished to plant and harvest inspiration
Wake up with a renewed breath of air, the flowing river
Of the days when the gloom masked, I hated what life had become
How could humanity be so self centred and selfish?
I looked for silence and the banging never ceased
The masses rushed, never to let me be, they snatched my freedom
I inhaled the hope of the freeness and longed for the racing momentums

How so?
That over time the weather collapsed to coldness, the darkness marbled
A nag of the songbirds, as I escaped in the ****** ozone layer
A disconnect of the mind, body and soul; when I saw my spirit sail
A snail sailing on its own course and journey slowly but steady
Reflections and visions of the timeline of growth and fertility
A heart of one, the soul of all, the mind of many, a tongue in sums
The chandelier hanged on a ceiling, high, holding the flickering bulbs
A condense of energy, the modelled nature of a prognostic intervention
A laughter and synergy rests in the symphony of the unsung melodies

Escapism dream 
Heart crushed symphony 
Strings of sounds tied together by hope 
This expression our only weapon to expose 
All this oppression when we don't even know the root 
Our only savior each others demise
Oh my eyes to my soul cannot take this any longer! spending our daze In an oblivion maze 
This haze 
It pulls me into the unknown
A pool of unsureness
All luring us 
This wave 
We came in on and shattered on the sure 
Always needing more 
Our hearts pour out of places unknown, separation overgrown 
Fumbling forward we gracefully gasp as they take off their masks feeled up to our seal time to reveal and refeel! 
This ever living ghost of what once was creeps through my new and leaves only fuzz this dream quilt unraveling the patches detaching yet the thread remains it was love all along! Always singing our dream song.

Jesus Christ.
I blame it on my personality
ENTP
funny, but romantically inept in using it
Smart, but overbearing
Curious, but boundless in exploration
All of these are virtues I have but cannot manipulate.
It haunts me. I hate myself.

Reality
Hurts
Introspection invites pain
Introspection invites healing

I am a gutless fool.
I wallow in excuses.
“I never have the opportunity to talk to her”
Make them.
“I’m not good enough for her”
She stares at you in class.

I love that feeling.
Whenever our eyes meet.
My heart drops. And so does my stomach.
It feels like the floor beneath me.
For that split second. Falls away. It scares me.
Inviting us both into our own world of benevolence.
A flash I wish could be eternity.
Then our gazes dash away just as quickly as they collided.
“Did she notice?”
“Did he notice?”

We “flirted” a lot in 7th grade.
Then we’re separated by schedule.

Didn’t matter.
My pea sized mind...
It couldn’t fathom or even comprehend love.
I didn’t know what I wanted.
I hope you still might want me.

English assignment: write a soliloquy about a personal decision.
I write one about my in complacence and unsureness of sharing my opinion.
You write one about dying your hair blue.
Through your short work you’re funny and shy.

Oh my ******* god. I adore you to death.

At the end you show a stick figure drawing of you next to a college with blue hair.
Labeled: me in college with blue hair.
******* goofy.
I absolutely love it.

If you had blue hair I wouldn’t care.
You’d still be jaw dropping.
Though it would match your eyes.
You have the most gorgeous blue eyes in the entire world.
I literally could get lost in them forever.
They’re so...
Deep.
Deep like I try to make my poems.
cough
cough

Anyway.

Anything I create though could not be as exquisite.
An ecstasy one could die from.

I feel so creepy reflecting on your looks without you knowing. Like I’m stalking you in my mind?

I haven’t flirted since that math class we shared.
I’m afraid I’m rusty. Dilapidated.
I would say something that would push you away.

Or.

I tap your shoulder.
Be hypnotized by your eyes and stand there.
Mute.

Oh...

And the sweat.
My palms would be moister than an oyster.
I’d be beet red.
My voice would quiver.
And boom. It’s awkward for both of us.

Awkward can be nice. Just.
At appropriate times.

I’m so weak.
I have no map to a reservoir of strength.
I have no courage to confront you.
I desperately want it.
I need assistance in acquiring it.

Funny.
I’m a curious guy.
Always looking for adventure in books etc.
But I’m haunted by adventuring toward you.
I see a treacherous path that with one mistake.
I die.

If I make no mistakes.
I win a prize I see myself as undeserving of.

So excuses I make.
And withering inside I drool over you.

We both never talk to the other ***.
I want to talk to you.
And I think you might want to talk to me.
But I block our mingling through fear I cannot control even if it might benefit us both.

I need help.
I’m afraid of getting help.
Then I’d try something and mess up.

Oh my god. Help me.

I called your number about a few minutes ago, and I left you a voicemail you'll never hear
Spoken words that'll never reach your ears
Listening to them wont change a thing so I said things I'll feel about you for awhile even though you won't care
My voice sounded weak, I was sitting on the ledge of trying to forget
Even though I'll never let myself go from that ledge, I'd sure want to
But these days, I can't even if I tried
Even if I suffered from a condition of forgetting things, I wouldn't be able to

Unsureness really gets to me I admit

Its 4:00 pm, and I have nothing much to say today. sorry.

Watching. Waiting in a world of silence.
Heeding, yet receding from unattractive lies.
Veiled by hardened minds,
the truth, is in the eyes.

And it speaks thus.

Dark, ruthless, twisted faces
full of pride and arrogance.

"We are better than all" they chant
with flying fingers of steel.

Intrepid slurs
on unsuspecting souls.
Keeping them at a distance.

What makes them so unclean?
What makes us so unclean?

Feast on our fear,
and constant unsureness.
Take our joy and turn it into self loathing.
Vile, pretentious predators of song.

Where is the right found within
to chew another's dream into non-existence?

We are blinded by our hearts
that we have so willingly given.
And yet, those that would guide us
to a place of understanding and harness that love
for the better of all,

have chosen to abandon us.

Teach! You magnificent creatures
whom love is openly bestowed upon.

Teach and show the way
to those who face a long life of
practical non-existence in what
we choose to believe is the ultimate path

of expressing ourselves.
Do this, and preserve what is most sacred.

Choose otherwise,
and be forever tormented with the knowledge
that allowing hatred to reign will ultimately destroy
Everything held near our hearts and minds.

You can survive with a heart of stone,

Though you're never sure who's side the sun is on,

The unsureness is what brings the tilt to my smile,

Not of fear but of pleasure; turned being scared, into being the flower with a lost feather,

Into feeling loved but not by anything in particular,

The outreach of Mother Earth is like mountains in the galaxy,

With a touch of sky, at night time the stars collide,

Your heart filled with pride and bravery,

Your blood remains still as the trees walk by,

Wins of the fall, dirt cool as redwood shade;

Heart of a lover, the beat at his own pace,

Stems band on top of mushroom fields, while the children of the sun move with the horizon,

Smile for rain, glance for clouds and look up to the indigenous grounds,

That's where my heart is at,

Where I sit on top of rocks and communicate with the current of the river,

Flow of love, soul of sound

Cruel to be kind
is like cutting butter with a knife.
but is a white lie any better?

Every minute that passes is a minute that is wasted (at least in my life),
Happiness is far from where i stand,
Forgiveness isn't close enough to even understand,
Blame is common and unsureness is the world I live in,
Hope is far fetch and with luck I'm usually feeling ******,
Failure is what I'm used to, Disappointment is how it goes,
I never see myself standing,
Just always on my tippy toes,
I used to hold on to everything,
Now I've learned to let it all go, Independent I never was,
Just dependent that's how it was,
The cord was cut Then I fell,
Hitting the floor,
Now I'm crawling along the cold wet floor.

I can spot someone who hates themselves from a mile away.
I can see it in the way you sit. In the way you walk.
In the way you breathe.
Such timidness, such unsureness you don’t know if you belong here
You don’t know where you belong
They ask you what you want to be you say you don’t plant to live past 18.
They laugh, oh your jokes.
You can always make me laugh.
And you laugh along, you encourage their haste.
But what they don’t know is that this is not funny
And on your 18th birthday-you’ve planned it
You’re going to jump of the building on 42nd avenue
You’re going to watch the people, strewn below, deciphering just what you’re about to do
Making them regret the day they laughed; regret the day they doubted you

But girl, you’re barley grown. You need to relax, you need a moment to breathe
I will force you from the ledge-I will talk you down
Make you feel not so used up and I want you to believe in something
And if you’re having trouble finding a muse, use me as your painting
Believe in me
Because I believe in you, I have hope in you.
You just need to have hope in yourself.
You have the rest of eternity to be dead,
You’ve only got a while to live-so enjoy it
You’ll be dead soon If that comforts you
But while you’re here you cannot have such hate about yourself
And you cannot place yourself back into that dark hole you know oh too well

No matter the wrongs you’ve done or outdone
You are still worth everything inside you
The sun is going to come up whether you’re here or not
So why won’t you stay to enjoy it?
Learn to forgive yourself for the petty mistakes and set yourself free
Because once you unlock the chamber, your world will change
You will be unlocked, you will once be content in your own skin
Let go. Cut the rope tying you down- I know how cliche that sounds but its the only metaphor I know to exactly explain what’s stopping you
And all it is is a rope. Learn to release yourself from it. There is nobody holding you back. Just this pitiful, pathetic excuses of a rope.
You’re better than this. Stronger than the rope. Cut it.