I may have achey feet from working
all the live long day.
But I'm grateful for them.
They take my mind off my aching heart. Caused by the curse of adulting and time keeping us apart.

I don't want to
Throw up or Cry
& Overthink everything
At the same time

But I'm drunk
And it seems to be all
Which comes to mind

I really shouldn't drink so much
But who is to tell me
What to do
When all I need is rent
& food is a secondary expense

This adulting thing doesn't bode well
Too many bills
Too many responsiblities
Too many expectations

With blood comes too many questions
And isn't it easier to
Tell a story than
Actually speak the truth

There is no such thing as adulting
There is no such thing as growing up
Biological age cannot be an indicator
A source of income cannot be a dictator
The drama that disguises you as a sufferer
is apt for twitter and synonymous with tumblr
You can look like 50 but still behave like a toddler
Age, intellect , experience and memory don’t matter
Clarity of thought , clarity in action
is what everyone wants, just pay attention
Stages of life are only byproducts of imagination

Two years into adulting.
It’s possible, who knew?
I look the same as yesterday
But today I’m twenty two!

Dentist trips still freak me out,
Sometimes I burn an egg.
My blanket covers both my feet,
So monsters won’t grab my leg.

I don’t go out on Friday night,
My ankles feel the weather.
And when I help the kids with homework,
We both learn math together.

Sometimes I’ll burst out crying
For no reason at all.
I know the words to one rap song,
And still prefer guys tall.

My puns are all intended,
There is a spoon I hate,
I’ll never mix my whites and brights,
I can’t stay up too late.

My life has been a wild ride
But I’m thankful for each day.
One day I hope to be mature,
One day... but not today.

I make my own soup and I kiss my own boo-boos,
I tell tall tales about love, hell, and voodoos.

I cover up my sadness with jokes, smoke, and malice
Who knew living a tragic life could feel so lavish?

God and I have a pretty tight relationship
I talk to him every night when my fingers touch my lips.

I throw my bones at dogs and contort my soul for fun,
Chewed up, spat out. I’m just like everyone.

-SLuR

my mother worries
that there will be no one
by her bed
when she dies

she doesn't remember
that when i was a toddler
she put herself to bed
and made me her parent

she forgets that she used
those little hands to rub
her back--her head
until she felt better

these grown up hands
still wince
at the thought of touching
her skin

somehow i will have
to find a way to fulfill my
adult responsibilities
perhaps she still has

a day or two til then

Coming to terms
With things you don't like
Is part of living a grown up life.

Tonight, as I lay in bed, thoughts playing old memories on rewind - stop & pause at the good moments, fast forward through all the bad - my brows begin to furrow as I ask myself... what if? What if I would’ve decided to go a different college? What if I actually changed my major when I realized I would never be a striving politician? What if I would have not lived for others and lived for myself?

Well, here’s the beautiful thing about what ifs: it’s not the life you’re meant to live. If I didn’t study what I did I never would have met my husband. If I never met my husband I never would have realized I wanted to become a nurse. If I never lived these moments, I never would have found my true destiny. I can’t say I’m happy that it took me so long to find my purpose in life, but when I reflect on my life I now realize the mindset I needed to get to where I am today and not where it was 5 years ago. Unfortunately, life doesn’t wait for you to catch up. Thankfully, I have someone who undoubtedly believes in my abilities to succeed.

Regardless of how long it took to figure out or how long it takes for me to get to where I’m meant to be, I’m proud of the woman I’ve become and am still becoming.