Those butterflies I once had for you are going away

I'm so sorry

Please forgive me

Please

Spring has come again

It's the time of the year where the girls wear the short shorts

And guys can't help but stare

The sun starts to shine

Flowers start to grow

But yet you are still here

No matter how minutes in a day

No matter how many days in a month

No matter how many months in a year

You are still here

Haunting me

Haunting my once beautiful mind

Haunting whatever else  I  had left

Haunting

So haunting I can't breathe without fear because somehow you will hear me

So haunting that the thought of you will give me nightmares for days

I can't live within these walls

Your walls that you have been keeping me trapped in

2 long years

2 ******* long years

I took advantage of the memories we made

Meeting you was like a force I have never felt before

We were meant to be

Finishing each other's sentences

Getting so caught up in a friendship

I hope this drift ends

I hope this space from the rooms collide

I just want to see my best friend again

Maybe thinking of reds will make you think of me

This last month has gone by too slow and time is slowly killing off whatever is left of our friendship

Come back and get high in my closet

Come back and go to all of the places we dream of going to

Come back and get drunk with me

Come back and just smoke one more cigarette with me

Just please come back

I still remember you coming into my room to sing Fleetwood Mac

I still remember the days we used walk up the stairs and sing friends forever

It's like you're dead, but you are still living

I am torn between if I should miss you or hate you

Even though I'm older I still need someone around

Every time Van Morrison comes on I will think of you

Maybe you will dance in the dark thinking of me

Why couldn't you stay

I don't see why it took so quick to leave

I’ll miss you

But I can never forgive you

How is anyone suppose to understand me when I can't even understand myself

Starving my body

Just to give myself peace of mind

Living for something I'll never have

But always want

Please tell me why this isn't so easy

Screaming for the pain to end

Feeling more numb each and every day

What more can one take

Before they break

My body is broke to the core

My mind is shattered into pieces whenever you come about

Let me rot because this life is something that can’t be anymore

I'm ripping out the pages of your notebook

You're tearing me apart from the look in your eyes

The taste of your lips

The sound of your voice

You build the walls that lay deep down inside of me

My soul is home whenever you are around

I can go on and on about you all day

You are just ******* great

"Why don't you just cheer up?"

Why don't you just shut the **** up?

"You have such a miserable tone in your voice."

Thank you ******* I know

You think I'm ******* happy?

No one is ever ******* happy

So don't go on and tell me your sappy bulshit that I don't want to hear

Happiness is just a fantasy that cannot be reached

No one knows me

I live within secrets to everyone

Do you wanna see what I hide under the sheets?

Do want  to see all of the ******* pills I take?

I already know I'm ******* insane

No need to tell again

Why did you want me?

I'm the solution to your loneliness?

Are you only using me because no one else wants you?

Love is too much of a dangerous game to play

I can never roll the dice the right way

I always lose at something I once wanted to win

I never get the mark

I know you don't want to look at me

My weird nose

My fat body

I'm a creature  no one will ever want

I don't have the appeal

I don't have the personality

I never liked the right bands

I never sang the right song

Something about me was always out of tune

My guitar always breaks

One by one

The strings start to fall

Everything starts to fade

And takes my memory away

Just leave me be

No one ever love me please

Well I guess this is really the end

You couldn't even say goodbye

No texts

No calls

Nothing from you

You leave me with closure

But I know your heart is still wide open

Sorry that I couldn't give you what you wanted

I'm too afraid

And your to ashamed to see what you have done to me

Too many tears

Too many fights for me

I think it is about time I put up the white flag

I'm done playing this mind game

She is turning into her nasty habits again

Skipping meals

What was once inside her goes down the drain

She never saw what other people saw in her

Why was she so mean to herself?

She didn't want to be broken

But she didn't want to be fixed

She always thought everything was just fine

And nothing was a big deal

Is she blind to whats around her?

Who is this girl?

Could she be me?

Could she be you?

No one will ever know who she is

Because she is a mystery and always will be

What do you want from me?

What do you need from me?

We are a car that is about to crash

Sometimes thinks are meant to be broken for a reason

This time I don't have the ******* answers you want

I'm torn between love and hate

how can I hate someone that I was so in love with?

but how can I love someone that just used to hurt me?

I'm so afraid

My head is full of fear

I want you

But then I want you to go away

My mind is always changing

I can never stay on one ******* page

I'm giving up

I'm done

**** this pressure that I feel

I never get the grade

Why is everyone going ahead?

When I'm just falling behind

Why do we mask our emotions?

What is there to hide?

Hiding behind a blanket of fear?

Or a head full of sorrow

I can't take this anymore

My body aches

My head is about to explode

I can't face the disappointment

Were just another note that goes out of tune

I always fall short on the appointments we make

Father time hasn't really been a friend of mine

Maybe it is too early

All I know it is  too soon for you

Sorry to hit you with commitment so fast

I know I can't pick up to be a part of your plan

After all you said

I still couldn't sing the blues

Don't touch me I will break

Don't see me I will disappear into the sky

I'm as weak as you only you are stronger

Dont do anything please

Nothing for me

Nothing at all

Just please leave

Because you are my  nightmare

The way you look

Your pale skin

Your devilish grin

Your demon eyes

I can't take sound of your voice

Your clothes

Your hair

Your ******* everything

Another look is just another memory

Its just another nightmare in my mind

This bed isn't the same anymore

There is always something missing at 6 am

The sun isn't going to rise if the little girl cries

The moon won't shine if the little boy dies

The clouds won't collide

The tide is low

And my heart is slow

Leave the light on

Take your keys and close the door

Those little words were the last you ever said to me

I remember the fear of your voice

That morning it was dark just like your feelings towards me

Even though we are apart

Do you still think about that night we spent?

I remember your smell and taste it brings me home

I close my eyes and try not to blink

Because I know you won't be there

Your just like the planets you always move and change

Your the leaves on the trees waiting to fall

I feel the gust of wind because i know it is you

It was always you

You still linger inside of my mind

I want to love you and be with you

But i know this dream of mine will never happen

Thinking of you is like a drug

I can't stop

I can never ******* stop

You are part of my sickness and wellness

I feel so broken when thinking of you

This feeling of love is slowly killing me

You are my death sentence

Fighting for the mother liberty

Seeing the blood of our men

These men were once my friends

My mind and heart aren't what they used to be

I’m torn between my emotions and my country

I face life and death every single day

The color red has never brought in so much pain in my life

The man with the color red killed my father

Killed my brother

Who will he **** next?

My own mother?

Does anybody know the thing of peace?

Why can't we live for one and all?

Where has the pursuit for man gone?

All of these battles mean nothing

They are just another gravestone to build

I'm running out of support

Someone please cut my cord

I love you my family

Please don’t ever forget me

Focused and determined

David haven't you seen the day break

Haven't you heard the birds sing?

Haven't you seen the children passing by?

Do you smell the air?

Do you Feel the trees?

Your 10 feet tall

I figured you would've seen

Don't you want to see me?

Look at me while I swing on your arms like a jungle tree

Feel the nights breeze

Take me in to the sky

Fly me around for a little while

Show me what life is really like

Forget everything and move on for once in your very big life

Pick all of the leaves out of the trees

What do you see?

A naked tree?

A angel without its wings?

Look at the birds and how they sing

Look at the children

Look at me

Everything is beautiful

And always will be

You know I still want you

I cling on to your need

Why do I even have the will to hate you

But I still don't see the reason why I love you

Its late and I'm Cold

I look out into the empty street

I want to scream

I want everyone to think I'm crazy

Please take me away

I want locked up and chained

I want everything to be taken away

I'm ******* crazy?

I'm going insane?

Who will see me break?

Why the **** did you leave me?

How could you do this to me?

I ******* hate you

Do I love him or hate him?
Do I want him or need him?
What must I do
When you are all I ever see
all I ever speak
all I ever breathe
Why did you leave me?
This path in my life has never been so confusing
What will be?
And what will never be?
I guess I just have to wait and see

this so called thing is loneliness

has become a friend of mine

with all of the time passing by

my heart has grown empty

i have grown out of thought

I'm out of time

the father clock has broken

the lock in the key wont work this time

my head and heart is out of thought but is still full of emotion

the emotion of sadness and love will never leave my mind

sadness molds who I'm and who I was and who I will become and never be

don't you ever notice one day your going to be alone

i just laugh as everything i once knew it isn't anything anymore

She always says goodbye never a hello

She had a heart that was cold as the late December air

She had a voice but never spoke the words on her mind

She had a mind that always thought such beautiful things

What happened to the girl who I used to see everyday?

Who took all of her color and made all of her pictures grey?

shes at the bottom of the ocean floor waiting to be found

She wants to be the question that cant be answered

She wants everyone to stare and wonder who she is and why she is there

She wanted to be the celebrity of the day

But, instead she scared everyone away

everything always feel so incomplete

why must we fail to succeed our dreams

reaching for the top

sinking to bottom

must try try try

and never fail

everything is losing its touch

the things  i had once know turn to stone

where does it go from here?

the path is confusing

my mind is spinning

everything is failing

another paper

another dream

another dollar

another mind put to waste

another child to send in this brain wash

going up and down and never finding the common ground

letting the right words be told by the wrong people

teaching fear expect for confidence

passing pills

expect for passing grades

kinfies and blades

razor edge feel

becoming into the mind **** of today

I like the people who tend to never speak

always thinking never talking

why do we silence the ones with sense

with knowledge

with emotion

with a sense of love

theyre like rabbits always running away

but from what?

the big shadow of pressure?

with the hate that comes today