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Nelize Nov 2016
the further life progresses
the more it beams stresses
the more I yearn for peace
a road with no holes or grease
a broken siblinghood
I now yearn for Paraclete
my faith in humans deplete.
so bring tonight the gleaming dream
of a furry friend who understood
the erase button of esteem
and so my dreams flow like whipped cream
in the starry starry nights of what would seem
like orange cats make the best friends
tabby kings and big boy mends
the tears of mine dear feline heart
....
or a hustling panting brown eyed brook,
a long nosed lad reads like book
who smells and licks my aching heart.
....
my colourbook waits to be filled with love
of furry lives from each colour above.
Nelize Nov 2016
constant awareness of eagle eyes
from within between hello's and goodbyes
criticism flies like bees
when I'm in thought staring down at my knees
my inner media delivers its press
negative thoughts flow in excess
mental thoughts slash my morn' therapy
as I see reflections in cups of coffee
mirror, mirror, what's this I see?
I'm sure the mirror will softly agree
oh no you can't, there's no way
yourself will only lead you astray!
self-doubts corrodes my morning thoughts
to win the day's battles of mental wrought
I always observe my visible shell
no proof here, none will tell
humpty dumpty sits on the wall
he awaits me to take my final step
- to lose my fear and leap -
until
I
can't
feel
at
... all .....
Nelize Nov 2016
welcome to the courtroom where royal minds reside
and Memory records where no feelings can hide.
situation states the case at the stand
allowing Conscience the right to speak at hand.
a constant strife between Mental and Feel
for Choice to ultimately seal the deal.
Doubt gained its throne right next to Faith's;
as Faith needs Doubt to keep it in place
sadness silently hangs on the smile
weighing down brows and heavy eyelids
Sir Anger accuses all the while
but Sadness knows what Sir Anger did.
Inhibition fold arms in a hesitant state,
as fear keeps him from accepting debate.
Guilt scolds the Heart for hushing Conscience
"conscience gives righteous advice to all,
you should not allow your guard to fall!"
Pain demands to be felt by the Heart,
he's sent by Guilt to do his part.

welcome to the courtroom of the mind.
  Nov 2016 Nelize
ultimatepanicqueen
the grayness of the day
is enough for me
to use as an excuse
to pull the heavy covers
back over my head

the dark dank air
trying to sneak its way
under my blankets
dying to run its icy fingers
across my warmed thighs

the wafting smell
of freshly ground coffee
innocently finding its way
to my unsuspecting nose
and a slight smile starts
painting itself across my lips

I push my toasty warm pillow
back and forth under my head
and then begin wrapping it
around my ears
like a turban or nightcap
hoping it will somehow
lull me back to sleep
to the place of dreams
where I want to be

but alas

the day is dawning
the rooster is crowing
and the shower
is calling my name
but crawling out
from beneath the covers
is almost like torture

thank goodness
for my fuzzy socks

crawling across
the cold wooden floor
I slink silently
into the bathroom
laying on my back
in the middle of the floor
counting the tiny tiles
one by one

he comes in the room
I let out a gargantuan sigh
and how does he respond?

He puts my cup of coffee
on the floor

right next to my head

and quietly walks away...
Nelize Nov 2016
rich*  in  grace
rich  in  love
poor  in  gold
my  love  is  sold
droplets above
falling blessing
running down
such is life
up and down
here comes Christ
as a dove
rich anew
everyday
fresh droplets
in my prayer today
prevents my everyday decay
rich  in  grace
rich  in  love
poor  in  gold
my  love  is  sold
His grace droplets
now unfold
rain grace droplets
I now hold.
Nelize Oct 2016
Everlasting Life or demise
a narrow path accepted by the wise
come our King, a fright to some
to us, a future brighter than light
my enemies caught as quick as lighting
caught by the Element of surprise.

spirits of good and bad will clash
our Water of Life will come with a splash
watch out for the Element of surprise.

He saves up His wrath of consuming fire
- for the world must know of His strong desire -
to engulf all with passionate fire
which flame will you invite?
Holy  Spirit or burning smite?
be prepared for His element of surprise.

closer than air you now breathed
fill us Spirit with a gust
spare us from everlast' Heath
obey and wait is our must
bend and shape us with Your Wind

we are gracefully broken, now ready
for Your  Element of surprise.
Nelize Oct 2016
steering soulfully through scented air
attracted to the whiff of a flora's flair
soft and whimsical describes this butterfly
as it dances, oscillates, flutters by

I struggle to fathom its complex sum
of cells, hair, color and flight
it often creates one in my tum!
beautiful... quick... catch one I might -
scattering away, it's too fast for some!
as I grow still and wait in daylight
reflecting in sorrow of what I have done
I learn to focus on what's right
there in the distance a butterfly will come
I learn to focus on God's delight
and then in between a butterfly had come
to comfort my shoulder, it's feet so light
its wings kindly wave goodbye to me

leaving me in awed surprise
as it journeys off while fluttering me

don't chase the butterfly as you'll see
chase them hastily, disappointment I'll see
be still in patience, and it will surprise thee!
There is a saying about love. Love is like a butterfly, chase after it and you will not find it, but turn your attention towards other things, and it will come sit softly on your shoulder.

I have recently broken up with my love, but I know God will take care of me... and him.
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