your haunting hands, my anxious eyes
your passion burning leaves me hypnotized
by the glow of the flame, its unpredictability
the heat of the flame, but you are so undeserving
should be perfuming my body in your kisses
should be dancing your fingers in my rivers
they call out your name, haunted even in the day
haunted at every sight of rain and Janelle Monae
we were in the eye and I was naive
now my anxious eyes follow me
and your haunted hands lead me
to an inner journey to find the key
to unlock and unblock my potential

I feel stupid I feel dumb
I won but what
did I really win, you are so childish
had to cut the strings, can no longer cradle it
you are a baby, so immature
you are such an actor, improve king
scratch that you are such a clown
a king would have a crown
but you cannot face what you were born to be
rather keep yourself like an oath, just to not rock the boat
but I cannot be your baby only in the moonlight
in daylight, you are scared to touch me
it rubs me the wrong way, you love me the wrong way
I pictured us as more but you pictured me as decor
a vessel for your fantasy, a trophy nothing more
then you block me on everything because I won’t allow you to keep vanishing
encore encore, but you are still so unsure
fix yourself, please
maturing can be a breeze
when you take accountability

you are my forbidden fruit
so sweet until the notes of bitter bubble up
so perfect for me until your other side shows up
duality, inability
to see beyond your own body, beyond your own needs
what am I to you?
what am I if I do or don't?
you tried to tie me down, tried to quiet my own
voice, displeased with my need for reciprocity
to engulfed in your hypocrisy
I almost lost me, in your rapids, distractions
too many factors, actors, and games
too much struggle, rebuttals, and vain
so much vanity you drove me insane
and I have never driven a day in my life

Am I a demon?
That is what they're saying
Am I ******* Satan?
Or is Satan ******* me?
Am I the gay best friend, is that all I am?
I can be sassy, flamboyant but never enough to really defend
from the arrows and throes of men
So tell me what I am
tell me what I got to be
So tell me what I am
tell me what is stopping me
From Heaven's end, even if I repent?
Will my sins not be cleansed in the sea
There is not much difference in sin from you to me