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Morgan Kelly Oct 2016
Sleepy eye lids attempt to close,
For a long night's rest.
But how can I sleep,
While with someone like you?
  Oct 2016 Morgan Kelly
Brent Kincaid
Girls played hopscotch
While boys played ball
To some of us kids
It made no sense at all.
What if a girl had a
Powerhouse right arm
Would you want her staying
Back home on the farm?

Blue and pink
Pink and blue
Does all this insanity
Make any sense to you?
Hammers and nails
And puppy dog tails.
And all the nonsense
That nursery rhyme entails.

And what if a boy
Had balance and agility?
Would you look on him
As having a disability?
Girls had to take cooking
Boys had to take shop.
Why does this sexism
Never come to a stop?

Boys get a box of toys
Girls get some dolls.
Sometimes that makes
No real sense at all.
Girls take lessons on
How to dance and live.
Boys learn to ridicule
Not to take, but to give.

Blue and pink
Pink and blue
Does all this insanity
Make any sense to you?
Hammers and nails
And puppy dog tails.
And all the nonsense
That nursery rhyme entails.
Morgan Kelly Oct 2016
Dad yells, and mom cries,
I'm too young to know why,
But like the sneak that I am,
I slyly slide against the cold white wall,
Trying to listen,
What is going on?
Why does this happen?

Alcohol.
The devil's drink,
At least that's what I've grown to think,
Because when I see alcohol,
I see a man with brown hair,
And a mole places on his cheek,
Drowning himself in the yellow colored elixir,
Stumbling around and breaking objects,
Breaking families,
Breaking a little girl's hearth who just wants a dad.

That sacred poison flooding the body,
Bubbling up ideas of bad decisions.
So many women,
He entered and exited,
Homes,
People,
Lives.
And I am scared,
Because I don't want to be the same.

I don't want to be limited by addiction,
I don't want to ruin families,
I don't want to be abusive.
And I know that I'm not that person,
I am not him,
But every time I see alcohol I think,
What if?

And so I push people away,
And I have trouble trusting,
Because if one drink,
Can transform someone who is supposed to be
A father,
A dad,
Then who's to say it won't happen to another?
I want to lock myself away,
And scream
"LEAVE ME ALONE."

But maybe not everyone is going to hurt me,
And maybe alcohol isn't completely "bad."
Maybe a few happy things have happened,
As a result of letting this liquid,
Slowly enter my life.
Seeing friends be responsible,
But also somewhat silly.
Sharing snacks and music at 3am,
Accompanying bitter bubbles,
With the sugary ones of a soda.

I'm still scared,
And I don't think I'll ever be,
"Normal,"
But at least now I have people,
Who make things, well -
Not so bad.
Morgan Kelly Oct 2016
I am not a poet,
Because I don't write with a certain finesse.
I don't have a rhyme scheme,
Meter,
or structure.
I am not a poet.

But, I want to be.
I wish master rhymes came to me in dreams,
And meter could be kept,
With the time my pencil hits the paper,
I want my structure to be relevant,
Not just meaningless lines.

So, am I just a writer?
Is this just a journal?
I'm not really sure,
All I know is that when lead touches my paper,
I feel bliss.

And so no, I am not a poet,
I am a human,
With demons in my head,
That need to be released.
Morgan Kelly Oct 2016
A dry desert feeling creeps up my throat
I can almost feel the bright,
Red color lining the soft tissue.
Body aches starting at all twenty digits,
Eventually make their way throughout the body.
Sickness.

To some an excuse for rest,
"So why does sickness make me so upset?"
I try to scream,
But, alas, my voice is lost.

Ah, the voice,
What a silly instrument,
"Silly how," you may ask.
Well, it's weak.

Why can't my two ***** of vibrating tissue,
Stay healthy?
I need to use those stubborn chords,
My voice should not be diminished,
It should be strong.
This is a major problem,
That, to others, may seem minor.

Sing the notes,
Finish the chord,
Don't be flat,
That doesn't mean go sharp.
ENOUGH!
I can't even sing.

Unable to participate in a pleasurable passion,
All because of a
****
Weak
Immune System.
Morgan Kelly Oct 2016
They ask me,
“Why do you like fall?
That is when everything begins to die,
It’s a bit tragic, don’t you think?”
But I think it’s kind of beautiful.

The thing about dying is it gives chance for new life,
It is a fresh start.
And so as each leave freely falls,
Floating ever so gracefully towards the ground,
It knows that it is giving space for something new to be created.

And no, we should not forget those leaves,
And I believe that is why they linger,
Because it is okay to mourn the past,
But soon the great wind will pass through the land,
And carry old souls to their new location.

It will be dark,
And even dead for a small bit of time,
But soon, those new beginnings,
Those little buds of life will come sprouting out,
Just when we feel as though we should give up,
Throw in the towel, one might say,
And they will bring hope.

And so, when I think of fall, I think about haircuts,
I think about cutting away the past,
And watching each hair strand float towards the ground.
When I think of fall, I think of a new season,
A chance to try something new,
Perhaps, something I was too afraid to do before.
And when I think of fall, I think of him.

You see, sometimes I do feel sad,
I feel sorry for the leaves,
When their fresh and tight texture becomes wrinkled and old,
I feel bad when they start to lose their bright color,
To something more dull.
When the leaves begin to plummet,
I occasionally want to reach out,
And place it gently back on to its branch,
So that it can stay forever,
Because adventures,
And new lives are scary.

When long strands of hair begin to hit wooden floor,
I fear that I will miss the way things used to be.
New seasons are terrifying,
And hard to adjust to.
So much so that I feel an itch in my throat,
And water building up in my eyes,
That reminds me,
Tells me,
That something new is coming.

And sometimes I fear that I left something safe,
That maybe it would have been easier,
More convenient,
To have stayed.
But the problem with that is I wouldn’t have him.
Because yes, it was frightening to leave,
Especially leave something that had lasted for so long,
But sometimes something cannot last through all of the seasons,
A leaf may look healthy,
And wonderful,
All throughout the spring and summer,
But sometimes true colors begin to show when autumn hits.
And I do not want a leaf,
I want a tree.
Because although the leaves may not last,
A tress always stays.

A leaf is a personality,
But a tree,
A tree is a foundation that can be shaped,
And molded throughout time.
Different leaves will come and go,
But the strong bark stays steady,
Through wind,
Rain,
And snow.
And will gain new insight as spring begins to near.

And I hope that I have found my tree,
Because you, my dear,
Seem as though you will stay.
You are my fresh start,
Better than any haircut, or new season.
I hope that our roots stay strong,
‘Though leaves may fall.
We stand tall,
And hopefully
Together.
Morgan Kelly Oct 2016
It's interesting how a day can so quickly be ruined.
One second,
Fine.
But the next second,
BING,
And it's you.

Blood begins to boil because there are two reasons for your notification.
One,
You're lonely.
Two,
You're trying to convince me that I was wrong.

Funny how when someone is gone,
That is when you are willing to change.
All the things you did,
All the horrible ideas you believed,
Convinced yourself to be true,
Never listening to a single word,
Not one single syllable,
That exited my lips,
Because you were so dogmatic.

But now,
Oh now that I'm gone,
You want to hear my side.
Again?
Why is it better now than it was before?
You say you want to change,
Yet you're still the same,
Just in different ways.

Selfishness is running through your veins,
You only cared about me two times.
One,
When I was leaving the state,
Two,
When I was leaving your life.

Sorry, but I'm not going to drink from your fountain,
Your fountain of,
Guilt,
Regret,
Worthlessness,
Because guess what?
Maybe now I'm resolute,
And I have my own doctrine I follow,
And this is how it goes.

Rule number one,
I will be confident in myself,
I don't need you to tell me who to be,
Who to be friends with,
Or who respects me.
Rule number two,
I'm going to be free.
I'm going read what I want,
Write what I want,
Sing what I want,
Explore where I want,
Without the two voices telling me to stop:
The voice of doubt in my head,
And you.
Rule number three,
I will not waste my time.
I do not always need to explain myself.
Sometimes people need to accept,
That I know what will make me happy,
And just because it isn't the same for you,
Does not mean that it isn't valid.
Rule number four,
I'm going to be happy.
And I'm not saying I wasn't happy before,
But I can always strive for more.

I'm sorry that things are not the same,
I'll still be a friend,
Just not your slave.
When you're ready to accept this give me a call,
Until then though,
Please, just say nothing at all.
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