Writing
Is the only way
For me to stay sane

Behind that fake smile
Behind those lies
Lie the distant echoes of my cries
Behind those frequent relapses
Lie my urge to recover
now give me some poison.
I am predictable in my unpredictability
I am trying to fight my melancholy
Behind that funny girl
Lies someone who wants to watch themselves burn

I am the nicest mean person you will ever know
I can **** around without being a *****.
I am shy at first, but once they get to know me I am the loudest.
I am that kid in the class who doesn't get attention
I am the one who hates or loves their reflection.
I am the deep thinker or carefree.
In my world,  there is no stability.
I am fault finding or appreciative.
I feel denigrated.
I am the pessimist who is an optimist.
I make mistakes, enemies and friends.
When I write poetry,
I don't expect it to trend.
Named after the Indian goddess of victory
I am not always sweet.
I am perfect yet imperfect
as we all can be.

I'm coming for you,
better run and hide,
found you,
thought you were sly,
make you hold me tight,
all night,
don't cry it will be alright,
I'll make it feel good,
I'll make it nice
maybe add some spice,
make you whimper and beg,
please,
Biting down, blow and squeeze
I'll make you scream,  
till you want more,
on the floor?
Top, bottom, doesn't matter,
don't flatter yourself,
I'll give you a dollar,
holla!
Look so good,
so fine you'll be mine,
its a crime how your kind
But I'll make you see all of me,
turn you over shake you down
turn you around,  
be true
*to the monster I made of you

If i'm trying to say something
Come out of my mind.
If i'm trying to write a poem
Come out of my heart.

Lies are truths we wish
        to hear
Truths are lies we wish
        were real

He nibbled at my ear and whispered 'Let yourself loose.'
I asked 'Darling,will you play with my monsters too?'

Once they were remembered
As beauteous blue-eyed angels
Who assiduously
Served the creator
Once thought of as the holy ones
Who shone the brightest
Free will and they chose evil
The fallen and their father
Whose actions
Gave way to torment
All the unpardonable sins
They committed
In the age
When atrocity prevailed

Now all they seek
Is retribution
Sparse and angry
Gliding in the skies
With rayless halos
And ruptured wings
Listen as God cries
At what has become
Of his creation.

The voyage to explore
The avenues of forgiveness
Was thwarted by the
Perpetuation of the patterns
Of my nature
Bearer of rancour
Marinating in stagnation
Birthed by unremitting negativity

Unamused by life’s cruel
Sense of humour
I grudgingly gobbled up
The repulsive remains
Of a dish of revenge
I once served
The one who arouses fury.