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I based personal judgements on the past
It is a good thing because I was right
You have not changed and you prove it
Each time you hide the truth from my sight

Electrifying distant indifference
Enfolds as extravagant lies come undone
With each passing second our fingers hold
Terrible time unravels another one

Of all your indecent indescretions
That which hurt me the most
Your willingness to cut and conceal
Sad suffering you still host

I do not want to live with deceit
So go if that is all you aim to provide
I hope you pick the choice that is true
I cannot control which future you decide
You think the decision is mine but it was actually yours
I used pure imagination
To picture a future with us together
Closed my eyes and visualized
Brighter times ahead; sunny weather.

I knew I was daydreaming
I might not one day be your wife
But I do not want to live without you
I hope fantasy comes to life.
They say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
The hellish conditions I lived through last year
All the sad truth in painful lessons I was shown
Each one took a piece of my happiness
Because of the dark my heart has grown
It's crazy to think that me of all people are capable of growth...
What will you do when your heart stops beating?
When you push sore limbs until they break?
I  am so worried it's making me crazy
Watching you battle everyday ache.

I am unable to pull even half my weight
I've not been the woman you need me to try and be
Each time I touch your weary shoulders
I feel the rain naked eye cannot see.
No one knows how hard it gets sometimes.
I wish I could take
All your pain and suffering
And make it my own
It hurts watching you do it all by yourself. I want to make all the bad things go away forever.
I was in love, you in too deep,
Drowning in a decided miserable sea,
Your addiction pulled you far away,
******'s waves took you from me.
It wasnt really the drugs, although that was a big part of it, but I can't help but believe things would have been different if you weren't a ****** ******.
If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.
This is the first poem (that I have a copy of) i wrote that I actually thought was good. I was in seventh grade, twelve years old, and I wrote it for a newspaper competition. I knew it was really great but I didn't think I would beat all other applicants in the state in my age group. So you can imagine my surprise I'm sure when I DID win! That is the first time I was proud of my writing. So this one has a lot of special sentimental value. Thanks for reading.
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