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when just a whippersnapper
   of a little boy
me late mum and octogenarian pop agreed
for doctor removal of my adenoid
less to prevent their only son
   from being coy

than fear of said male heir
   to the harris throne becoming an android
a less than agreeable likelihood,
   especially in tandem
   with predilection of goy

this fateful outcome unfazed,
   this now green giant, not the least bit annoyed
as captain crunch (before childhood didst end
   i.e. distend into middle age)
   beckoned yours truly with “A HOY”

horrified that my parents would be so blithe
   to steer their son clear to avoid
psychotic outcome to deliver obliviousness,
   and thus bring inner joy

so, they sent their peculiar male progeny
   believing himself to be Pink Floyd
who found himself evicted desperately,
   and in sore need of gainful m ploy

so he began his therapy in orifice
   er office of Sigmund Freud
who bore a striking resemblance
   to a wooden pecked prickly shaped toy

   (a pickle iz just a pickle)
this mental analysis delved into past –
   outcome I felt less than overjoyed
despite boss be addressed as Oedipus,

   and pay verbal homage that did cloy
dredging layered past devoid
of love, yet flush with fallacious
   prevaricated abuse from mister Lloyd
Lavinsky, a demon of a grade school bully
   forsooth sanity he destroyed!
back a small number of years thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma, enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing, and lambasting said dell lisle
la, whose avoidance behavior toward me – who goes a mile
out of her way to ensure our paths do not cross – noah din nile
per the above – well, perhaps a slight bit of hyperbole
    viz this, mine swift tailored, harried style
per potpourri of puzzling perturbation evinced
   by said olde world germane German dame we lease this duplex
   treating us, as if we committed some egregious crime
   subsequently forced to stand trial
viz aversion toward this convivial, frivolous and introspective chap
   methinks said realtor/renter joined a coven den
   where doe eyed zen of thieves
   occupy teaching rubric of mean-ness while
taking appropriate and selective pages
   from play book of sarah palin

which tension unlikely to cease for the next month till the deed
doth expire, where by this witch a taw
   hook cans *** (ours) will be freed
of renting a long and fostered, roach and fox infested, century21
   from once salient sympathetic ear this,
   now manifests Scrooge like greed
reminding us (essentially via cessation of any interaction),
   how she once did heed
to our various and sundry travails –
   though neither myself nor the spouse,
   the latter whose vociferousness regularly exudes loathsomeness
   toward said key per, and once a vouch saving storied angel
   without fail and indeed
wife tis not shy to vent where a plethora of expletives lead
   rant and rave toward an impending crisis
   that will me send out an SOS
ever felt compelled to join Hemlock society or drown sorrows in mead
yet, a disappointment arises a formerly positive dynamic now im peed
did by reasons unbeknownst to me,
   who feels ever so grateful ye chanced to read
my babbling of the poetically irrational from a regular joe,
   who doth not sport Harris Tweed
nor (despite any immediate intimations)
   doth newt smoke ***** nor drink ****.
March twelfth Ded Moroz
struts his white stuff
first real substantial puncheon
found Jack Frost in his glory,
he haint no longer morose nor gruff,
cuz series of fortunate meteorological events
found crystalline precipitation hoary.

I revel watching
the bit torrent of snowflakes alight
upon the greensward;
a cold wind bloweth and doth bite
any exposed flesh of daredevil
(the re:noun Evel Knievel of verbiage)
weather beaten soul
trundling with delight
inured to brutal cold
all fours seasons excite
contemplative character
asked me to ghostwrite,
thus a reasonable rhyme yielded
courtesy wuthering height.

Yours truly breathes deep sigh of relief,
when surprise blizzard came our way,
no matter yours truly solitary fellow
holed up in me mancave yay,
he experiences unfettered glee
for picturesque blustery scene today
eight sleeps before Spring Equinox
glad second rate nor'easter
pummeled Southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania.

The near future forecast
bodes well nigh arrival of vernal equinox
when the sun crosses celestial equator
in northerly direction, marking
prime meridian of right ascension.

Fanfare for common man
(think das scribe spinning these lines)
grateful timely notion
kindled inside mine noggin
truth be told - before onset of storm,
I drew one blank after another
and felt at my wits end
regard apropos material to write about.

Methought to soon to post
poem about beware the ides of March,
(approximately sixty one
and a half hours hence,
similar explanation regarding
summoning creative literary endeavor
honoring Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit,
thus imposed upon figurative shoulders
(mine) to hash out some
marginally passable verse.

Now attention pauses to take look see
out bedroom window
watching medley of gusty air
in sync with blizzard conditions,
yet yours truly snug
as a bug in a rug
despite not turning on the heat,
and would ye believe
bard of Perkiomen Valley
only donned in ma birthday suit?
this anonymous weaver spun written tapestry
to acknowledge ninetieth plus longevity year
no matter this author unknown, who deftly tries to weave
(for pete sakes) with english poetry
where rhyming threads fire away (from axons to neurons)
at warp speed way out there
attempting to coalesce into
semblance of comprehension from non other than me
a veritable stranger, who considers
ye huff hoke icon, that hoop fully destiny will spare

until one grain of sand takes thee
to eternal blue skies astride astral throne like king henry
with minstrelsy folks housed
the memories hermetically sealed place
thy father’s razed mansion no longer poised far and near
intent to discern adroit banjo finger
picking plucky talent admission for all – free,
whose eponymous trademark je nais sais quois
legendary voice rang like a bell jar in the air.

unsure if this epistle (possibly coming across
as mixed up) like mish mashed verse
ye might arrange and rearrange into a song
living in the country of upstate new york state
epitomizing spartan holistic existence somewhere
over the rainbow with hefty purse
exemplifying decades of fame and fortune
that odds on favorite moost did highly rate
your fount of endless lyrical musical natural playing style

auditory tunes ears did immerse
themselves from just one man’s hand
whether newlyweds who did marry a loving mate
or others exhaling final breath
afore crossing river jordan inside the hearse
while convoy chants favorite chorus abiyoyo
with standard amen for the late
mortal, whereby such preferential fanfare
for loss of precious friend family doth curse.

since thee became deceased no great expectations (by dickens)
feedback will be forth coming to this average joe
who chose to plunk himself down here
and simply let spontaneity take full rein
this spur of the moment ode
(perhaps difficult to comprehend),
oaf hello you will never know
and travel down shady lane

(more akin to boulevard of broken dreams) in the main
with elusive passion to live in tandem with nature
whereby garden this dad could ***
reaping from sweat of thine brow afterward
upon festival of flowers this body will be lain
but spouse prepared siesta meal,
hence now end this rambling poem to go,
ponder trials and tribulations whilst in need to feed body and brain.

NO MATTER YE PASSED AWAY, I ENJOYED
YOUR SATISFIED MUSICALLY INCLINED MIND
AND WISHED THE WEBBED WIDE WORLD FILLED
WITH MORE OF YOUR KIND.
(for not dominant with right hand
also known as southpaw and lefty,
as well as the more formal terms
sinistral and sinistromanual and another term,
particularly in Australian English,
hashtagged as mollydooker)

linkedin by various other names
as illustrated in the following fabrication,
which exceptionally well drawn illustrations
and instructions written in French,
thus necessitating a bi-lingual technician,
hook hood interpret the material
ideally an English literature major
top notch knowing grammar,
punctuation, spelling, et cetera
unintentionally impressing
madding crowd sitting on a bench,
who seem more fascinated by the logophile
a lover of words or a linguaphile
a lover of languages
who goes on a spontaneous *******
delineating the history
of those twenty six lettered symbols
allowing, enabling, and providing
a crash (test dummy) course
to the transfixed listeners
totally (tubular) regarding their original intent
for initial inquiry
about the left handed
monkey wrench explanation to quench.

Said multi-dubbed easy to assemble a drone wannabe, not only a handy dandy blues clues all in one light-weight contraption (available at Hooper's Store on Sesame Street) to handle any job (mostly those requiring physical labor, but also very helpful as a defense against weapons of mass destruction - by enveloping the user within a radio active proof bubble after he or she presses a button, but mindful about opening any windows in close proximity lest the message "Abort, Retry, Fail?") appears and ceases up the gizmo, and of course only a child (just out of swaddling clothes), which an anonymous lad or lass could troubleshoot aforementioned widget with eyes wide shut and hands tied behind their back. Matter of fact child labor laws rescinded to keep abreast of said revolutionary technological enhancements visited upon the left handed monkey wrench, which matter of fact witnessed unforeseen initial applications such as transmitting via electronic signals wirelessly courtesy wisdom (versus blue) tooth taken from anonymous benefactors.

A recent dental discovery brought to light (figuratively) that said wisdom tooth made up of four primary components: the outer enamel, the underlying dentin, the inner pulp (containing nerves and blood vessels), and the cementum that covers the tooth's root, which layers the same as any other tooth, with the enamel forming the hardest substance on the tooth's surface, the dentin making up the bulk of the tooth's structure, and the pulp providing nourishment and sensation, when some severely introverted boy experienced an aha moment and realized (while playing dentist without anesthesia, and extracting hindmost molars - previously loosened, (and practically dangling like a modifier) by a sucker punch to the mouth of a bully, who got knocked out (Hawaiian punch swiftly tailored harried styled) cold play kisser.

The dual rooted wisdom tooth served as a miniature model to expand on the essential principle of the general monkey wrench, which occurred to a scapegoated ego bruised super smart grade schooler while he remained standing up like another brick in the wall until the (hells) bell went off indicating recess came to a close, yet not before unnamed youngster sketched out a remarkable rendition of this tool while monkeying around with various and sundry drawing examples until he hit upon (again figuratively) while quietly observing and witnessed an aggressive wren (cause said curious little fella a self taught ornithophile) wrenching loose a passive resistant worm.
every March seventeenth, the glint froom
a perverted imp finds me achin'
and if aye dig deep enough,
this Goyish pseudo judo day yo criss chin

can figuratively unearth a puckish
   (gnome like) elfish sprite
   with a layer ring ga Erin
which byte size (key) ah man able troll
   help pan for treasure hunters

   plume bing the underworld
   with his (aye farm lee bull eve
   moost har male) sly grin
stirring thy faux set (head)
   feigned Irish with in
new mutter nada trace,

   (boot perhaps juiced an iota)
   o' Brogue kin
Celtic gene found
   within me genealogical tree,
   an itty bitty min
newt chromosomal thread,
   (which with assistance of Crispr)
   i.e., a more discerning Quaker can pin

point how this predominantly
   (decrepit ole coot)
   Semitic baby boomer tub hoot
(whale hugging
   ma gude look four leaf Shamrock)
   can locate long buried loot

according to legend
   (plus devout avid fervent
   Irish Aunt Fib B. Hen
   aka Sally Salamander Newt)
doth avail her excitement to help up root

(perhaps revisiting a previously dug oop ditch)
maybe treasure undetected
   cuz ova technical,
   and/or mechanical glitch

truth to the tantalizing myth
   whar hike can hitch
   my dreams to a morning star,
   that would make a par man rich
and put an end
   to mine fingers that hoo twitch

which i roan nick pie rite (of quartz)
   alluding to healthy appetite,
sans tea zing alluring
   (whet started as byte)
size nar invisible craving,
  
   which fantasy easily didst excite
(necessitating yars true lee) to don robe of foo fight
tar, yet persistent and nagging lust didst light
lore (akin to un hearth thing
   *** o' gold at rainbow's end),

   cuz hum ma penniless plight
   such dogged pursuit, a mirage,
   whereat aye drool in plain sight
thus conk clue ding this
   hip poe eponymous droning pome
   though, tis plenti mo' hie hood write!
The majority of mine lxiii years
expended delving deep into imagination,
yours truly escaped, loosed, thwarted...
reality courtesy bookland
roaming cerebral cortex terra firmae
did not amp pulley satiate
seemingly depression found me
(an uncompetitive, oversensitive,
intuitive, contemplative bookworm)
with scrunched pate,
a day short and a dollar late

one dime a dozen lad
hood scrimp and scrape,
a familiar pattern typified fate
viz - hand to mouth bleak
how zing existence aye equate
extant throughout three score
plus three years date
journeys round el sol,
this varsity schlepper, procrastinator,
malingerer did create
current emotional state
mottled with sea henna tint
financial, emotional and

psychosocial characteristics stint
aye serum eyes while
in utero the blueprint
indelibly etched analogous
brand York Peppermint
also analogous to musician
recording tracks upon primed glint
ting digitized compact disc
clear polycarbonate plastic substrate,
a reflective metallic layer,
and a clear protective coating
of acrylic plastic
breakable as flint.
  
Though afflicted with severe
panic/anxiety attacks
suffering became manifest destiny
for decades housed née sequestered
in abominable barracks
(one common joe biden his time)
made debut during prepubescence,
ambivalent toward and quite lax
concerning mien kampf,
when adolescent/puberty at max

metamorphosis from boy
to man found me strongly in pax
averse to growing up
Anorexia Nervosa latched did tax
developmental height and weight,
whence this grown male did wax
nostalgic for his boyhood-
literally starved himself -
not quite to death,
or unconditional self-acceptance by peers.

Mine psyche felt ship
wrecked upon the jagged shoal
of abject apathy, self-injury,
and jury-rigged penury now a pall
duh, these psychological idiosyncrasies
perfect breeding ground to maul
and rent asunder psychic ground
for lack of pride slinking along hall
ways resonating with flapping wings,
his doppelganger exhibited gall
wherein yours truly remained
face down from a major fall
when both parents alive
(thine mum deceased
almost eighteen plus years,

when grim reaper didst call
now octogenarian widower pop,
who since this initial writing
passed away about
sixteen months ago)
espied sense to bawl
upon death ova
me mum, and sensibility
evinced inquisitive kindled
linked opportunistic quest
misunderstanding, avoiding
whirled wide web
as a young whippersnapper -
wait, that iz not awl.

Inform me if you wanna explore
additional tidbits glore
cuz long poem comprises more
lines offering metaphorical tour
within me body electric
akin to teenage wasteland
after internal near deadly war.
when another (anointed as lady lucky)
   resident renter bequeathed her bed
prior to that good samaritan deed thyself and spouse
   slept on the floor like dogs dead
tired from another day acclimatizing ourselves,

   especially when tummies got well fed
and grudging adjustment lying
   supine upon the carpet

   did upon arising found aches and pains from head
to toes, yet financial shortcomings disallowed this Jed
eye wannabe to defer attending domestic chores,
   cuz ma whole body felt like a Led
Zeppelin, and matter of fact oft times,

   thy body electric, though lacked
   no evidence of disease NED
for short, I near felt a need to relearn basic motor skills,
   gingerly, and eagerly reached for performance
   enhancing drug i.e. PED

which coded identification exemplified the a rich color of red
this (and other) prescription medication
   (about a half dozen total found me to sleep akin to a Ted
dee bear, many instances of snoring  
   thine wife claimed emanated –
   probably no more than when we wed

if memory serves me correctly
   twenty plus years a husband aye attest
and find peace of body, mind and spirit most exuberant and best
cherished, when hen pecking wife (yup, this husband

   got pecking, pock, puck size marks to vouchsafe
   his sworn statement)
   some visible on my slightly flabby and hairless chest
and if traced with a ball point pen, the shape
   loosely resembles mount Everest

with evidence of what appears to be erosion,
   but actually evidence of wifely cannibalism –
   viz zit on par as with an unwanted guest
which at first found this pop (sic) hull averse
   to share the same firm mattress lest
she arise like a flesh eating zombie during
   wee ***** weber hours of the morning and taking nest
ling to another level, whereby teeth and scratch marks
   sure testament asper a pest

stiff ferrous mate, this husband would sooner bid adieu,
   letting fate guide  terrestrial quest
that might incorporate undergoing the
   electric kool aid acid test

perhaps buffeting this corporeal essence north west
or maybe the unforeseen sojourn would spirit thyself
   to a distant alien nation
one where each day of soundness of mental, physical
   and spiritual growth will be reason enough
   to celebrate with élan and zest.

Now tis one upside to this stroke when with restfulness
   awake after nocturnally conjuring sheep and lil bo beep
yet, no ambition exists to get down and out
   from this posh plush place to sleep
even wild horses cant drag me away, lest hie weep.
help me if you can, cuz salutary
     hans solo impossible missions
     fall short asper this mwm to break free,
     thus Siam game for heroic measures to wrest
sill loose, gnome hatter
     remaining time on Earth
     strong arm gull lancing tactics

     aye need to vest
from perverted imps stranglehold
     upon healthy existence
     will resort to extreme thine body electric
     (serves as kool aid base sic acid) test
hosting ocd (analogous to a
     suckling leech happy fiend)

     disallowing this mwm
   (similar to Sir Issac Newton) begs to take a rest
nurses nourishment feeding off host
     (thyself) linkedin, sans sybaritic symbiotic,
     excising unhealthy sycophantic relationship
     long term ultimate quest
shucking loose obsessive pest

     compulsive disorder moocher
     drilled deep into psyche tub billed a nest
which bred a hardy crop that messed
up with my enjoying life tooth ha max,
     viz parasitic, opportunistic,
     narcissistic fealty must stop lest
asphyxiation undermines ability to jest
as if deadly poison
     this chap (as a kid) accidentally did ingest

hence this attempt at plaintive pleading
     for mental health professional
     took hum at my be hest
a much more welcome guest
versus nemesis grounded rivaling mount Everest
that tis all i write unloading off my chest
an agile, fertile, and nimble sprite
     who already out best
this scrivener,  now  completed poem
    confiding bugaboo aye attest.
Re: Thank You to unknown
   tom, ****, harry, tam, dame,
   or dana from the MHS Class of 77,
   though this alum
experiences public education
   within lower providence jurisdiction

as a ***
er - minimally partaking advantage
   of extra-curricular,
   collegiate, inter-mural,
   et cetera opportunities,

   no not even a figurative crum
well nigh convey an impression of being dumb
bull door, deaf, and blind (with out faith no more),

   nor passing love notes from
some anonymous girl, who
   (after leaving a teasing message
   informed asper getting a smart haircut

   in ninth grade civics class
   taught by Missus Comly
   (do not quote me on my
   power fully pointed excel lent spelling,
   telling nothing, when out of desperation
   I experience primal yelling)
this singular potential fledgling flirtation,

   the extent from student,
   who appeared morose and rather glum
exposing such vulnerability to be hum
millie hated, and bullied relentlessly,

   whereat i wish to be a little boy
   comforted by me mum
since that option out of the question,
   thus aye didst never meet Miss Mot Toe
   (e plumbs e num), perhaps cuz eye **** numb

body, mind and spirit triage as if inebriated by ***
imagining the fighting spirit within me to thumb
or rather "flip the bird" to those,
   this then anxiety prone

   metaphorically rolling stone
whose metaphorical diet of worms also included
   eating picked over sun bleached
   un beak coming road **** crow - how yum

me does that seem, but gnome hatter
   how grossly said foul dish
   spurred via carrion (an analogy
   representing verbal taunting

   best left for hitch cocked birds) didst not appeal
not in the least did i give nasty brutes a "what for",
twas fear of getting creamed, fricasseed, irradiated...

   sans to stand proud and tall
   (all five and a half feet, but blunted maximum height
   topped off just shy of seventy inches -
   in reference to yours truly) against bullies

to this very day such emotional repercussions congeal
asper anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic...,
   which physiological symptoms served psyche not to feel
and only of late (particularly with daily intake of about
   a half doe zen pharmacological prescription medications

   do check and induce schizoid personality disorder
   (the diagnosis encompassing,
   the gamut mental health issues) to heel
akin to a well trained service dog, which fractured

   psychological state i.e. garrison to pitch and toss
   upon the precarious tipping point i.e.
   surpassing the tipping point,
   where thy body electric doth keel,

which precarious state finds me socially awkward,
   and off kilter, and maybe this chap
   ought to take a page
   from professional athletes playbook,
   and take a knee qua to kneel

hence this improvisational explanation
   why yours truly felt discombobulated
   to attend the recently held reunion,
   now aye wanna axe something serious, and fur real,

which essentially constitutes whether
   a current list of 1977 students,
   who received their high school diploma
   could be sent to me, whereby at least one alumni
   could buffer end this contemplative, intuitive,
   and pence eave bowl dish guttersnipe wannabe with zeal.

hie haint gonna hold ma breath,
   neither let loose lips help miss ink moll itty bitty sinker agog
   nor wait fir any religious chief such as allah
boot nothing ventured...blah...blah...blog...blog...

adieu - - matthew scott harris
A cold wintry January 53rd, 2021
at Highland Manor apartments
picturesque snow covered landscape
safely ensconced within Unit B44,
we (yours truly and wife)
occupy bedroom and
television room respectively
comfortably numb and toasty warm
at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
courtesy climate controlled environment.

I practice crafting poetry
(seeking posthumous fame)
while the spouse busies herself
channel surfing putting
down remote control
after espying satisfactory movie
(Fatal Attractions),
about which she knows
every single detail,
and can rattle offer personal tidbits
about cast of actors and actresses.

Aforementioned regular routine
predictable until
onset rites of spring,
where warm weather perfect balm
to allow, enable and provide
antidote to existential woes
coping with being quarantined,
though sensing optimism
regarding president Joe Biden
green lighting living social pursuits
possibly revisiting
following favorite pastime.

Recalling contra dancing
as palliative against bashfulness
life as high school wallflower served me
without any budding female friendships
until lo… agent tulle nudge, yes
my mother over mollycoddled
then uprooted me
mein kampf familiar
bedrock level road terrain,
which venue offered groundswell

to blossom forth into
golden sterling resplendent rod
of natural equipoise,
(an unbiased opinion) and balance
with freestyle improvisational swinging motions
unchained from moors of formality
lit figurative saint elmo’s
Sesame Street Big Bird
winging fiery dance
allowing, enabling and

providing shy awkward self
during his young adulthood
to cast away four ever
self embroidered handsome
straight as an arrow
naturally high as a kite young guy
buzzfeeding like yellow jacket
liberating spontaneity
that je ne sais quoi joie vivre
clamoring headlong toward pollination
healthy packing heat overflowing

testosterone bin laden well nigh
erupting pistol (stay man)
toward opposite gender,
whereby bravado donned as key
to *** field of whet dreams
fostering initial albeit late blooming
roll in the hay hormonally
rooted rutting squeal!
Finally after twenty two plus
years of marriage,
a husband (namely yours truly -
hitherto known as Matthew Scott Harris)
exhibits glint of care and concern
toward his significant other,
which wife bemoaned
absent expressions of love
particularly before the
honeymoon even occurred.

I readily admit shying away
from emotional intimacy,
especially toward the gal
whose pledge I trothed
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six,
yet even formative years (mine)
scant overtures displayed toward
me father, mother, plus
older and younger sister
(neither non twisted).

A strong suspicion predominates
neurological, psychological,
and social perturbations
commingled while said christened goodfella
developed in utero, whereat genetic quarks
sparked, manifested, and engendered
unforeseen grievous hardship

severely, inexplicably, and figuratively
dislocated, truncated, and uprooted
his promising, (albeit
short lived) blissful boyhood,
which happy go lucky preschool years
abruptly analogously came to crashing halt
soon after setting foot into first grade.

Impossible mission
to tease out telltale explanation(s)
only thru courtesy 20/20 hindsight
can hypothesis be formulated
regarding congenital
chromosomal cellular discrepancy
birthing what appeared a healthy baby
though prone to wailing
without rhyme nor reason,
especially if held
by any person except mother.

At a tender age behavioral blitzkrieg
rent asunder tenuous connections
shattering nascent aggregation
to allow, enable, and provide
healthy interpersonal development
unbeknownst what molecular processes
kickstarted, pronounced, triggered...
wayward son to recoil against humanity
(think how like magnetic poles
repel each other).

Most all mein kampf
scant communication brokered
never establishing linkedin bonds,
nor fostering emotional intimacy
despite witnessing overt caring
among parents who begat me
or siblings, who exuded
natural propensity to comfort each other.

Something so primal as to elicit
heartfelt sympathy I lacked
which aloofness generated offensiveness
essentially buttressed (with flying colors)
hermetically sealed existence (mine)
nsync livingsocial within alien nation.
causing percussive rumpus
to vibrate like jelly

Me experienced quite disruptive sleep
(quite early in the morning
of November 10th 2022 -
no shut eye could I keep),
hence though exhausted, I share
childlike trait of mine spouse
insufferable playfulness finds me
ready to collapse in a heap.

Missus as inquisitor a worse
fate than death expounded courtesy
the following cheeky verse
about bearing derrière perverse
antic for wife to adopt role of nurse
Ratched she of (One flew over
the cuckoo's nest fame)
the missus every smack
upon me posterior I did curse,
thus poem not for the faint of heart
some or all of material you may find averse.

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
beating, drumming, flagellating
paddling, and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed tubular *****
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, mutilated, lacerated,
fondled and bruised.
causing percussive rumpus

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.
for upcoming June 2023 inspection/violation.

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling on her

state of the art broomstick
unfortunately they
long since retired courtesy
formerly the Banks residence rather slick
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
ruler of the Quadling Country
South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
holed up in their respective bailiwick.

Rural housing authority
requires every occupant
renting an apartment
to have their living space inspected yearly
deemed safe and secure place to live
scheduled to place here
at 2 Highland Manor
on Tuesday June 13th
Wednesday June 14th
and Thursday June 22nd.

Hence unpleasant inspection
scheduled at least once per year.

A trio of persons
comprising Property Manager
Regional Property Manager
and Maintenance Man
(Pamela Floreen, Lia Varley Wacker,
and Richard Jette respectively).

A loud rap on the door
signals their unwelcome arrival
(cue suspenseful music)
before their collective
(soulful) gaze turns toward:
the kitchenette, stealing
a peek (rifle) into refrigerator, at stove,
cupboards, assessing utility room
housing hot water heater
testing smoke detector in bedroom

scanning bathroom
all the while reserving right
to take pictures
inside our master quarters
where we feel enslaved,
whereby absolute zero
personal property we utilize
not considered off limits
to inquisitive troupe constituting
above identified higher ups
if necessary to hire 1-800-GOT-JUNK.

Now no time for shriving sergeants
to craft inane verse,
cuz tis down to brass tacks
yours truly cannot relax
until he and the wife
align figurative ducks
courtesy ventriloquism acts
issues convincing quacks,
plus suddenly magically enlivened
neatly arrayed knickknacks
(give your dog a bone)

threatened with receiving
bonafide paddy whacks
if said tchotchkes misbehave
and exhibit buffoonish antics
subsequently summoned,
instructed, and commanded
to complete x squared jumping jacks
otherwise sent to fabled boot camp
superfluous unwanted playthings
recruited by Salvation Army
filling out ranks
of toy story abominable barracks.
As origin of **** Sapien species surged ahead,
harboring nascent predominance
asper said primate reproductively bred,
(albeit via incremental fits and starts)
evolutionary forebears didst dread
Tom Tom Club former members
an American new wave band founded in 1981
by husband-and-wife team Chris Frantz
and Tina Weymouth
as a side project from Talking Heads,
rocketing them to super stardom
similar to heights of fame and fortune,
where band zeppelin led
exemplifying, fortifying, and glorifying QED
quod erat demonstrandum
meaning "that which was to be demonstrated,"

whence, (since time immemorial) nasty, short
brutish, loutish, and vampish anthropological,
genealogical, and millennial
report card found forebears
precariously perched, pitched, and positioned quart
toured pièce de résistance  purport
head supremacy devastatingly,
heavily, and literally bruited nearly did abort

tentative tenacious status
being supreme species oft times
challenged minuscule leading edge
proto humans rendered
stronghold atop ACME perch
(on evolutionary leading cusp) fund hedge
ching hypothetical bets said simians
nearly toppled off figurative ledge
against being easily uprooted
akin to one weeding out unwanted sedge
imposing fledgling breakfast of champions
clinging to niched wedge

while serial incessant challenges nearly wrote
snuffed out clinched placed viz *** him tote
often at fateful loggerheads,
where survival of the fittest smote
cream of the crop sacrificed for Ares
poised to strike dawn of dusky mankind
viz apish creatures almost got rote
off while chance dominance, eminence grise
pitted, spitted, and got vetted sans un quote
able primal screaming expletives
pitted Neanderthal progenitors note
worthy kickstarter scrum held dim promise,
whether weathered brood
which smattering population comprised
a scattered handful of rudimentary
destined to become a GOAT

contemporary competitive lass or dude,
whence latent talent to net fame and fortune
voluntarily sharing wealth as altruistic,
deterministic, humanistic, and idealistic
amidst looming global warming
legacy of industrial revolutions,
which pointedly wreaked havoc
radioactive Superfund sites still exude
toxins, where dangerous fallout glommed,

rained, and frankly zapped the tocsin
muted, muffled, muddied waters
where pollution never
confronted Wilma or Fred Flintstone
generic Geico caveman/woman respectively,
and aside from external
threatening ecological depredations
violent crime comprises tribal (family) feud
where might versus right,

the deterministic factor aye include
at undoubtedly animalistic behavior
defied being categorized as lewd
since each monkey's uncle
similarly frolicked, gallivanted, and hocked
like a CRO-MAGNON
European early modern humans,
when he flirted in done ****
videre licet dangling modifier
attested courtesy punctuated equilibrium

(the hypothesis evolutionary development
marked by isolated episodes
of rapid speciation
between long periods
of little or no change)
courtesy Stephen Jay Gould
fate didst not occlude
also absence of consciousness rued

until...fast forward to the present day,
when carnal, feral,
and integral leanings attempted
to rope hormonal, gonadal,
and banal found
more recent ancestors (discovered
visa vis like Ancestry.com and/or 23andme)
rolled in the hay
under the natural predilection to lay naked,
especially frisky comb early
May procreative force
engendered the writer of this poem,
when his parents coaxed foreplay
unbeknownst, that their singular heir,
would be afflicted with countless
obsessive compulsive mailer to slay
ritualistic controlling psychic threnody
dominated favored holistic paradigm oy vey
dystopia prevails every which way
Gaia will be declared winner yay!
Yours truly quite astute,
especially regarding cute
little field mice, also known
as meadow voles,
which imprecation one doth emote,
when aforementioned animal burrows inside
leaving pellet size **** in their wake
suddenly presenting a pain in the glute.

Analogous to swiss cheese
fecklessness riddled **** sapien
writer, whom he himself
cannot Provolone equality
for Mus musculus to live,
exception viz one named Stuart Little
as equal among indomitable realm
dominated by bipedal hominids
said species arrogated
since time immemorial
self superior holier than thou tenet
and dictum governing hegemony
across webbed wide world,

which supposed word of creator
conveniently got interpreted to mean;
"Be fertile and multiply;
fill the earth and subdue
every square inch courtesy
trappings of western civilizations,
henceforth since the dawn
of consciousness, when primates
such as Sahelanthropus tchadensis,
**** habilis, **** erectus,
and **** heidelbergensis evolved
to slowly but surely

wield dominion over
the fish of the sea,
the birds of the air,
and all living things
that move on the earth,”
their subsequent descendents relegated
every creature deemed inferior
and thus (no pun intended)
fair game across proverbial
eminent domain, thus justified,
ordained, usurped, et cetera
courtesy manifest destiny,
particularly mostly aborigines.

Against bullet proof credo, ethos,
and genuine holistic integrity
to respond to such an event
as Minnie's or Mickey's, no matter
an ohm my cat reluctance arises
to don and trumpet role as "killer"
tis with only the means and ways
to avoid health crisis that I
hesitantly didst exterminate existence
of other critters decried as pestilential

so please no unsolicited
mouse a lean knee black barbs
against this august gent
tis a marvel to evince the behaviour
of rapaciousness, when nary a hint
extant within me - except,
at a crossroads arises
when vermin take residence
as per mentioned earlier
as an unpaid inhabitant,

this one mortal married male loathes
to distribute deathly lethal instrument
innocuous morsels of D-CON
doth not make me feel jubilant
this chap doth newt believe
dangerous buggars ought
be be consigned with tender loving care
but certainly less cruel fate
versus getting lethally euthanized,
eradicated and essentially

charged with heinous crime
such as ****** committed by a litigant
slapped unfairly suffer being poisoned
imposing forfeiture reprisal
tomb the tinker-bell tolls
visa vis a role in the realm
within flora and fauna not meant
for humans decreeing vermin
lack purposelessness,
and must be exterminated

to own rights qua life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
quietly when staking out an alcove,
cupboard, or mauve wainscoting
reproduction of discriminated,
hashtagged, and targeted mammals
would nonchalantly find safe haven
exiting man made confines if left
to their biological devices,
this millennial saga of mice and men

perhaps Noah occident,
and no matter what means
one approaches pursuant
to rid the house of mice,
these creatures reboot toxic tolerance
to incorporate schemes
quite innovative within floorboards,
deep chambers viz hitting
expansive domestic quadrant
this Brie zee, cream cheesy,

though temporarily dislodged per demise,
the recurrent adaptation reverberant
and stupefy supreme survival skill re:
by a modus operandi
with adaptive qualities salient
ta dum me little nimble,
opal and quizzical rodents
lacking redolence tubby mammals,
though their existence
and devil's blue diet tribe curd dish rant

might be diametrically opposed
to American ethics committee, who slant
the bald (also balled), bold,
and brazen cordon bleu appearance
analogous to a vagrant, unrepentant truant
sans more than one little
furry Muenster of scurrying critters
spur this heir force deputy
issues a poisoned search warrant.
(dribbled the following cheesy tidbit when mice elf
i.e. Stuart Little and thy spouse Minnie Mouse dwelt
at a previous residence).
-----------------------------------------------------­-------
Against credo, ethos,
   and genuine holistic integrity
   to respond to such an event
as Minnie's or Mickey's, no matter

   a reluctance arises to don role as "killer"
tis with only the means and ways
   to avoid health crisis that i fervent
   lee exterminate existence of other species...

so please no unsolicited mouse a lean nee barbs
   against this august gent
tis a marvel to evince the behaviour
   of rapaciousness, when nary a hint

extant within me -
   except, at a cross roads arises
   when vermin take residence
   asper an unpaid inhabitant,

this one mortal mwm loathes
   to distribute deathly lethal instrument
distribution of d-com
   doth not make me feel jubilant,

   this chap doth newt
   deny pestilential buggars
   ought tub beep hoy sinned,
   and charged with heinous crime such
   as ****** committed by a litigant

   slapped unfairly
   suffer being poisoned
   imposing forfeiture reprisal
   tomb the tinker-bell tolls
visa vis a role in the realm

   within flora and fauna not meant
   for humans decreeing
   vermin lack purposelessness,
   and must be exterminated
   to own rights qua life,
   liberty and the pursuit of
   quietly when staking out an alcove,

   cupboard, or mauve wainscoting
   reproduction of species would nonchalant
take place if left to their biological devices
   this millennial saga

   of mice and men perhaps noah occident
and no matter what
   means one approaches pursuant
to rid the house of mice,

   these creatures reboot toxic tolerance
   to incorporate schemes
   quite innovative within floorboards,
   deep chambers viz zit ting
   expansive domestic quadrant

this Brie zee, cream cheesy,
though temporarily dislodged per demise,
   the recurrent adaptation reverberant
and stupefy supreme survival skill re:
   by a modus operandi

   with adaptive qualities salient
ta dum me little nimble,
   opal and quizzical rodents
   lacking redolence tubby mammals,

   though their existence
   and devil's blue diet tribe curd dish rant
might be diametrically opposed
   to American ethics committee, who slant
the bald (also balled),

   bold, and brazen cordon bleu appearance
   analogous to a vagrant,
   unrepentant truant
sans more than one
   little furry Munster of scurrying critters
   spur this heir force deputy
   issues a poisoned search warrant.
in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
recorded July sixth nineteen sixty
upon birth of she who doggedly
pursued me to the ends of the earth
and what not take no as an answer.

Unbeknownst to yours truly
a baby girl got born
sixty three years from aforementioned date;
she automatically triggered
excited buzzfeeding murmurs
heard amidst the madding crowd
patiently awaiting to secure their eats
at none other than Horn & Hardart
offering their house special,
albeit free of charge;

the grandfather of present day
food service industry company Grubhub
acknowledged storied birth
with roster of special guests such as:
Connie Francis, Eddie Cochran
(the latter came all the way over
from the United Kingdom),
and even then president
Dwight David Eisenhower
made guest appearance.

Meanwhile, about sixty plus miles away
a little boy, (who lived
in Levittown, Pennsylvania)
experienced a fleeting warm gentle caress
identical to soft summer breeze
linkedin to sugar and spice
and everything nice;
he smiled and unknowingly blushed
unaware his destined lifemate
secured courtesy good housekeeping

seal of approval,
which may seem
like an otter outrageous claim,
but mark my words approximately
thirty orbitz around the sun later
would witness his heartthrob
(currently snoozing away on the bed)
pledging to accept first one contra dance
after another until... death due him part.

I ofttimes sat alone
on the concrete steps
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia, PA 19119
perusing contents of reading material
unable to focus on the words,
cuz excitement prevailed
to exalt in an evening of pure ecstasy.

The third Thursday each month
at eight o'clock post meridiem
held special significance
at above named facility,
which constituted kibitizing,
fraternizing, but especially flirting
while contra dancing
usually with no ulterior motive.

Our fate got sealed upon occasion,
when I willingly shared Neptune Salad
(a discontinued product sold at Wawa)
with lass who stood
all of four feet and eleven inches
and sported trademark long thick hair,
whose locks (I dreadfully report
long since got lopped off),
then rivalled those of Rapunzel.

As an introverted generic
long haired pencil necked geeky lad
always awkward in the company of people
(even making small talk),
an eventual comfort to converse arose
with longitudinally challenged referenced gal,
whose buzzfeeding dialogue
indeed jump/kick started
us to exchange tidbits about ourselves,
such as address, age, birthday...
and other general information,
hence bringing to my awareness
regarding special occasion
she made debut appearance
within webbed, wide world.

Said lass subsequently
became dance partner for life
after she found herself with child
we became husband and wife.
Twenty first century technology
allows, enables, and provides
instantaneous virtual unconsummated love.

Within the course of a texting or sexting session
one lovelorn lad (or grown man)
can fabricate a faux impression
with the young or old fellow claiming lineage
as a reincarnated Hessian
essentially a German trooper hired
by the British to help fight
during the American Revolution
principally drawn
from the German state of Hesse-Cassel.

Heavily reliant on the ability to embellish
I, a married communitarian, flexitarian,
latitudinarian, sexagenarian, and Unitarian
seek an applicable, flirtatious, illicit liaison
with a sugar mommy to relish.

Though basically discriminatory
father/husband impractical joker
caught the incurable texting/sexting fever
rationalizes triggering, voyaging,
and xeriscaping his prickly little garden borer
would not smack of adultery, infidelity, but
witness jocularity, levity, and negotiability
within the parameters of cyberspace.

Simulation of being electronically coupled
won't necessitate justice of the peace nor
wedding officiant or marriage officiant,
sometimes referred to as a celebrant.

Both people able, eager, ready and willing
to sample a pseudo/quasi
noteworthy scaled union
as all "good boys do fine"
for the treble clef lines
or "All Cows Eat Grass"
for the treble clef spaces
and "Fat Cows Eat Grass"
for the bass clef lines
can simply pledge their troth
for the duration of time spent online.

If game to feign *******, discipline
(or *******), sadism, and masochism
(as a type of ****** practice)
then Ubangi me,
and subsequently I do likewise to thee
all in good and healthy fun - ha!

Cavorting with sophisticated banter
would more closely
delineate mine harried style
swiftly tailored word play
not only in one direction
but also contesting each other
with palindromes and maybe
even talking in cryptograms.

Impossible mission to discover
visa vis other people
(predominantly of the female persuasion -
ideally a galavanting
gender conforming heterosexual lass
striving to hone her proficiency
with English language in general
and as a creative grammarian,
cognitive humanitarian,
and circumspective nothingarian
to whip out her wit and wisdom
for no particular rhyme nor reason,
but just merely to quip
for the sheer joy
of employing lingua franca.

If unsuccessful with deploying a figurative spark
courtesy atypical modus operandi videlicet
and fail to strike up a potential quasi match
with a receptive counterpart,
I will continue to entertain myself
summoning forth innovative verses
if for nobody else but yours truly (me),
who experienced joie de vivre
when satisfied with a written endeavor
trying to avoid bombastic, egocentric,
idiosyncratic, et cetera eye sores.

One must do whatever in their power
to cope with cares and concerns
of an uncertain webbed, wide world.

For me, that means reading and writing.
Matriarch mastermind manipulated minions
rang their hells bells signifying
****** to traverse highway to hell
***** deeds done dirt cheap
(names changed fo' malady to remain anonymous,
cuz they got thunderstruck
with psychological trauma).

Preface:
Upon bitterly cold dawning hours of January 2000,
the Harns family (not actual name of real persons
constituting yours truly
mine wife and at that time
deux darling very young daughters)
desperately sought place to live.

Neon Swat Team (an independent realtor) politely
informed us (meaning myself and the missus), our
family lease would not be renewable.

The reason without a rhyme?

Ever since events initially laid forth as poem,
I delightfully witnessed birth of daughter
number two February 4th, 1999, (whose existence this
papa helped beget approximately nine months prior),
now twenty two plus years passed rendering contractual
non-binding obligation null and void - whew.

Even though then barely tipping scales at less than ten
pounds of flesh, (this bundle of sugar, spice and everything
nice, especially when adorned in pink bows inclusive),
she warranted unlawful occupancy capacity subsequently
exceeding one plus bedroom apartment in Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania.

Body quasi poetic/prosaic
minimally couched, sunk, tabled...
within wordy  mosaic:

We reckoned to live temporarily at premises vacated by
mother in law from hell (since recent death of her husband,
whose after life settled him in Willoughby) domicile situated
at 1148 Tree Green Lane (a cozy and lazy keystone chic
urban outfitted hamlet tucked into totally tubular foothills of
Venn Palley, Pennsylvania), a nook of quaintness plum
perfect where rivers Ratford Upon Savon converged.
as one fairly long run on sentence
unwittingly made locally famous
courtesy residents here at
Highland Manor Apartments
as first one foot and then the other
painstakingly, and agonizingly dragged
across the cement walkway
making absolutely sure
the entire foot touches the ground,
(analogous to geriatric

version of the hokey pokey)
made like toe tilly particularly
more trip lee dangerous for valley girls,
and posing an obvious challenge,
when unspecified oblivious tenant
yakking away to themselves
unknowingly shakily shambles,
(which elderly folk blindly
risking life and limb),
while tethered to an oxygen tank

gingerly, precariously, and zanily
maneuvers a walker or wheelchair
while chatting vis a vis bluetooth;
(a short-range
wireless technology standard
used for exchanging data
between fixed and mobile devices
over short distances and building
personal area networks:
In the most widely used mode,

transmission power
limited to 2.5 milliwatts,
giving it a very short range
of up to 10 metres)
communication maintained thru
miniature electronic paraphernalia
videlicet, now returning
to aforementioned abandoned,
harried, and suspended lodger
left poised to strike hard surface,

when going about their routine task
additionally rendered cumbersome
as occupant carefully finagles
old gnarled bent fingers
to manipulate requisite fob,
(a handy dandy little device
that works on Radio Frequency Identification
(RFID) triggered courtesy
waving or tapping motion
of little plastic doodad)

near a corresponding reader,
and voilá – the door unlocks, -
which technology interestingly enough
linkedin to bit of curious history,
when remote keyless entry patented
in 1981 by Paul Lipschultz,
who worked for Neimans,
(a supplier of security components
to the car industry) and developed
a number of

automotive security devices:
His electrically actuated lock system
could be controlled
by using a handheld fob
to stream infrared data
automatically, electronically,
inevitably, and officially
granting permission for our inhabitant,
or unsuspecting intruder
(since very little – read none

security installed here)
to enter the front door,
presenting an unwelcoming
opportunistic, idealistic,
and antagonistic accident
about to happen if the track opening
and closing entryway portal
(bumped up against thin carpeting)
slightly bunched up
presents a raised lipped surface edge

(barely perceptible to those
who present a sight for sore eyes),
which uneven impediment
the literal downfall
for many a resident
at Highland Manor Apartment,
who tripped and fell ofttimes
sustaining significant injuries
to their fragile lovely bones.
My life devoid of exotic adventure
(in fact...yours truly
never set foot outside the United States,
nor took to the skies, yes...how bore)
ring, the solitary endeavors,

not an onerous unbearable chore,
although (as mentioned in a previous poem)
this fellow rarely exits apartment door,
(particularly during biting cold),
fabulous grandeur tis mine to explore

thru (healthy escape)
by way of imagination fourscore
minus ten orbits completed
round the sun, and tapping
mind bending places galore

envisioning how a blind person -
nonetheless lamentable and heartsore
(more so since birth, this pupil doth ignore
versus tragedy eye will not site here),
no limitation to where this loner can soar,

which appears contradictory to previous
disclosures, yet revisiting said notion,
sans feeling tour
charred asper meaninglessness, a spore
germinated evincing clearly reassure

ring mine psyche, those select modes
engaging body, mind, and spirit for
instance exercise, reading/
writing, and meditation
with deliberation yours truly doth pour,

the entire heart and soul of
Matthew Scott Harris to shore
up sagging sullenness, yet though disheartened
at squelching interpersonal/social, mental,
and physical parabolic contour

of healthy development,
this fellow wishes he did more
class participation, dating,
fostering friendships/relationships
such ordinary human development that did war

rant raving about prior
disappointment, the decor
ration accrued, via strengthening muscles at core
of happiness from this
sojourner for truth...bonjour!
By: Sue S. Side

Amp pull ease just sparked insight,
I suddenly became aware,
(actually self actualization
came ohm to roost - dare
ring with mighty stir since this

Earthling orbited thru the atmosphere
back in time many a passing,
quickening, and rip snorting year),
how my current psychological,
neurological, and emotional despair,

sans crafted - plane vanilla
existential plight grounded, nixed,
and shorted former spunky,
quirky, and goofy boyish air
snuffed out, hopscotched

(along buttery, bow jangly rocky
unlevel road i.e. skeletal derriere)
extinguished courtesy nihilistic fanfare
with counterproductive antiwelfare
of self, when just a tendershoot, nothing

boot bag of unlovely bones when bare
grim reaper das scythe
did to hunker down
specifically anorexia attired
with trademark black hoodie wear

firmly entrenched, would
not budge, clear
out, nor disappear
matter of fact arrogant behavior
cannibalistic ornery rode

roughshod, and cavalier
dauntless demeanor debonaire
leaving body electric
in utmost disrepair,
lo parents trumpeted

state of emergency
and sought out consigliere
one Doctor Ted Goldberg care
fully applied his deft, heft,

whence nervosa finally left
after quite long stretch of time
not without a fight,
and permanently sear
my esprit de corp

undermining foursquare - buzzfeeding
every epidermal micro hectare
*** tent lee loosed pendulum
within pit of mine being, a nightmare
minimally livingsocial, linkedin

to tomb ma birth family prepare
ring to die just on verge of puberty
analogous to bot sized
wrecking ball lob
bing within me tummy scare

ring the Bejesus
from those who begat me
nonetheless felt immense care
and concern helpless, and lacked app
nowadays accessible within sphere,

viz zitting world wide web,
now holed up in mancave sitting here
reflecting how I sabotaged
vitality, virility and vim stunting
maturation across vast swath of yesteryear!
(revamped, retooled, and reviewed for the mad council).

Admiration and kudos to quick as
greased lightening witted language
mongers gifted with means to deflect,
stave off, or thwart venemous, sacri
legious, pompous,et cetera lethal
impacts delivered chiefly to ***
*** in ate character, degrade, ex
Cory ate, where deliberate hefty
insult bruited viz zit head via bit
ting acrimonious gloating by some

trumpet ting twelfth knight, Mar-a-
Lago dwelling, Don Juan, Cassa
nova interloper ideally to be met
and taken rite off guard with cutting,
fitting, and incriminating scythe leant
taste of bitter pill as bad medicine
measure for measure, which earns
repartee deliverer at the least (cut
ting to, the quick principled litter
a chore thieving magpie klepto

maniac maven anyway) raising
the bar, per how can eye whip up
a creative reply to ward psychic
bruises as would be confirmed
by an x-ray evidencing sharp black
Amy Lloyd Barbs lobbed my way.  
Plight reiterated and described again re
phrased as mine good humor hum
dinger mew zing ct-scan reveals
(outsize funny bone) pinpointing

tiny thesaurus sim card firmly
permanently embedded, where temple
(my Mansfield) binds as the Great
Chaim Yonkle yiddish alt pun stir Perry
Como crooning se yammo, a friendly ****
mum exchange (minus jet lag) oye vay,
boot how novel, if I could wit
ness (or personally experience) quick
lightening rod quips would come to me
rescue (supercalifragilisticexpialidocious),

but generally, honestly and indubitably,
this flustering rhymster, who with bluster
brownian movement attests and accepts
slow moving cogs and wheels of his
aging noggin normally, notoriously
and nominally NEVER nsync with
nearly top notch national scrabbling
Facebooked bountiful brigands, this
will never happen to utter trail blaze
zing, nail biting, and hair raising awe

some adage, badinage, and/or  persiflage
more likely than not, mum hindlacks
proper cerebral mechanism to dream,
and get linkedin exactly at  prime time.
An absolute beauty of a doozy, flapping
like a ******, hypothetically intimated be
totally tubularly groovy, man and find
me a bit woozy with flickr ring shutterfly
twittering wii zing hacking, joyous, and
kindling euphoria asthma sign us would

go thru roof of mouth boot opportunities
foregone to daydreaming after serious
lapse of time, yet speculatively, and in
sum re: prime tete a tete would spring up
to parry, defang, and blunt puncture of
mine  psyche (imaginatively zinging red
zinger, would be one for the record books),
sans right on cue, rapier jabbing (yet art
fully crafted), an unusually timely resip
rick cal sparring touché (leading com

petition, by my itty, bitty ditty), witty
award winning smart riposte would a
rise supremely after incidents arose from
circumstance, yet twin next opportunity
passes, the critical moment will slip,
away suspecting sanctimonious sham
rock leprachaun spiritedly skewered
lucky charms finding me wishing the
means existed to conjure an instant replay
all to often when recipient of unkind word,
taken aback sans ideal return synaptic salvo.
Tis beyond the depth and scope
of this electronic post,
and author, what triggers deliverance
housing bounty full memory absorbance,
yet no matter how many

heat sinks plumb cognizance,
most ordinary happenstance
often dredge up old nettlesome
rusty mettlesome names
of teachers forbearance

nearly half century ago
recalled in a flash,
and helped birth this poetic instance
break open literary
piece de resistance,

yet I will make
no subsequent reference
albeit once, about Peterson Handwriting
non cursively typed poem
filled with nonsensical abundance

dashed off viz seat
of my squarepants
typed, via strong arm lance
meant tubby considered pure entertainment,
so...,this rhyme merely hints

at cerebral imbalance
as minor rave and rants,
culled from convenient
20/20 hindsight stance,
while this quiet as bobbing sponge

minutely straddled across
space time continuum expanse,
and (analogously, invisibly,
plus quixotically perched circumstance
amidst wide webbed worldly metaphysical,

intellectual, and existential kants),
yet unable to disguise me
porous (poor ***) student advance
barely getting promoted,
cuz sigh re: Seine ed lee


imaged myself prince charming
to frolic and prance,
and dreamt about being in France,
when teacher called on me,
I immediately (whistled like

a little teapot) appearance,
whereby steam issued
out chrome dome
(scanned hull – i.e. numb
skull) affixed on

short and stout genetic grants,
which noggin always
(automatically) looked askance,
while me got alphabetically seated
from grades three to six

(mrs wells, mister stout,
missus shaner, and
miss rinderle respectively)
with absolute zero exuberance
(at Henry Kline

Boyer Elementary School,
I just recalled aforementioned
randomly accessed memory by chance
casually rifling thru
memory bank, freelance
sing, while *******

away time performing,
"I gotta urinate dance,"
thus rendering painstaking years
perfecting penmanship style
(reference poem title)
executed with Liberace flamboyance,

whereat yours truly obsessively and
compulsively excelled at
duplicating signature compliance
plus crossing T's and
dotting I's with rapacious
perfectly ruled slants.
upon waking from a splendid plunge
   into the depths of deep dreamy restful sleep
anchors away set adrift this body electric,
   which succombed instantaneously
   (without counting sheep)
nor joining the make belive rank and file world
   with the likes of little bo peep

an immediate notion arose
   to latch onto and ignore
   this most delightful, flight of fancy deed
(not ***** nor done dirt cheap),
    but a natural function
   one cannot overdose nor excede

the USDA quotidian requirement,
   where cares and concerns
   of an uncertain world freed
yet an asolute bare necessity for stayin' alive
   plus richly textured unrivaled vista devoid of greed
additionally cost and gluten free, NON GMO,
   zero caloric effortless need

   (words of caution to take seriously to heart),
   and note that if one doth not yield, but sure to read
   the small print affixed like a label each mind
   forcing to squeeze out every metaphorical
   drop of open eyed juice  
   perhaps resorting to **** or speed

   that silent slurred speech, physical lashing,
   head dropping fatique
   will invite Halloween aparitions, delusions,
   grand hallucinations, et cetera
   as if one smoked wacky ****

the forces of anatomical and physiological
   heft will take charge ahoy
and blast at top notch nautical surge,
will wrest control against blistering,
   festering against withering heights
   delivering balms away at feeble attempts
   to retain losing battle to remain alert oh boy
no matter how much effort summoned,
   (even feigning wakefulness as a decoy)

the trappings of oblivion
   i.e. sinking into profound dreamland,
   whether an individual ascribes to be Jew or goy
which Maxwell House maxim
   “the key to better relationships may be more sleep”
no mortal ought to take lightly,
   but pay heed lest the grim reaper doth creep
stealthily and scythe lent lee steal
   a haggard skiff of flesh and bone
   whereat  corporeal essence no more
   will there be for the soul to keep.
Today December 27 two thousand nineteen

Start time: at sixteen minutes
after seven o'clock post meridian
End time: nine minutes after
nine o'clock post meridian.

Where the outer limits as Guiding Light
regarding twilight zone,
vis a vis edge of night
i.e. est gracia constituting caterwauling

doggone existential plight
punctuating past, present and/or
predominantly future days
of our lives (think kite)

scudding, kickstarting,
and exhibiting sight
for sore (myopic) eyes Doppler Effect
zipping, spinning, jet us sinning

within time stream spanning infinite height
(concerning self and missus,
no longer The Young the Restless,
plus All My Children,
(deux grown darling daughters),

as the world turns,
23.5 degrees relative
to our orbital plane,
nor once upon time, The Bold
and the Beautiful delight

Philly urbane guy noir once
upon time chess your
aver ridge generic white knight
in rusty armor dimly bright
oft times plumbs depth

of my psyche quite
populated with strained relations
within his birth family
serving as grist for write
ting mill, whether thy nonagenarian
father, siblings (an older/younger sister
eldest/youngest daughters tight
lipped regarding sharing travails

I rarely see them, both live out of sight
thousands miles distant, eager to take flight
as soon as opportunity prevailed,
which estranged dynamics
among all kith and kin can be to bite

yours at double scribble,
where sun don't shine, nonetheless might
as well craft birthday poems despite
any response forthcoming

(usually I can cite)
zero instances receiving slight
if any acknowledgement...,
who knows maybe one they might...
even express care and concern

which genuinely communicated
unconditional love could unite
invaluable linked bond greater than gravity,
or cosmic phenomena that doth excite
one modest organic philosophical,

quizzical, rat tickle schlemazel
ungapatchka riddled scrambling
scrivener seeking respite
with automotive issues this right

handed leftist nonestablishmentarian
plagued with general
tsuris non neophyte
to mental health issues
arising where spite

and malice gave way
to effort tubby polite
not impossible mission,
catharsis like vite
tummy soul expunging, so

yours truly can huff ford
peace of mind tonight,
and subsequent tomorrows, where
death be not proud
will transport me to another world.
this Democratic Party affiliated member i.e.
   considered (with an eye blink)
   positing the following blurb
   for a very short while

asper the "FAKE" trumpeting
   oaf fish shill offal
   continuous, indecorous,
   and poisonous barbs doth re vile

me, an anonymous middle aged
   concerned citizen at thee...reptile
no...no...that, would
   unfairly debase creatures such as
   snakes, lizards, turtles, or alligators, 

   whose aggressive acceptable modes, 
   one expects tubby non servile
thus in my mind hiss non diss incriminating
   cruel, fiendish, gallingly jawboning
   mawkish philistine (YES, I
   MEAN YOU DONALD Quisling TRUMP)

   figuratively roasting
   respectable people analogous
   to rake them over hot coals
   then, burn them at the stake,
   which witch trial characters assassination

   with point blank expletives
   found an introspective chap (yours truly)
   responds to broadcast
   unflattering sentiments,
   albeit swiftly tailored harried, yup,
   yar...obnoxious fulminations rile,

said brief explanation motive enough
   (occurred within a split second)
   after gleaning most recent denigrating,
   hurtful, lambasting puerile

verbal and/ or twittering outbursts
   (MOST DEFINITELY) unstatesmanlike
at least to me: a circumspect enlightened
   genteel individual kind nattering
nabob of nativity, who feels alarmed

   at venal wickedness by thee ->
   President Trump spluttering, smoldering,
   slandering gallimaufry
predicated predictable awfully banal,

   cringeworthy diurnal,
   and fiercely hurt locker ful invective bile
perhaps indicative of dementia praecox
   or smother mental illness,
   ye would immediately refute,
   and be in din aisle.
Malignant gangrenous political cancer
     corrupts, festers, and poisons United States,
     thus opposition cannot wait,
especially since Gospel in accordance

     with feeble minded Donald Trump
     implemented wrought ugly trait,
particularly obliteration, sans progressive
     human rights legislation

     more or less pronounced positive
     in every L ionized Nittany or cotton bowl state
and ratiocination inherent within
     mine Democrat oriented mind doth rate

this forty fifth president (defect)
     with sawdust packing
     his noodle oven egotistical pate
trophy wife (spouse number three),

     a Slovenia mate
donning "I don't care anymore"
     t-shirt rousing media firestorm of late
essentially silently corroborating,

     fostering, and illuminating hate
mutely bolstering the Trump anthem,
     viz make America great
again, which pathless,

     pithless, and pointless aim
     roars like an earsplitting runaway freight
     train oblivious of wailing soul asylum,
     that no era meets said criteria

     backtracking time machine before
     rightful indigenous occupants of this land
     got decimated as one after another
     exploiter did inundate

(comprising a multitude
     of indigenous variety of village people
indignantly subjected to Genocide,
     when first "discoverer"

     of new land didst promulgate
activation wrought deliberate sealed fate
vis a vis capitulation, demolition,
     and extirpation, cuz

     a scathing rebuke aye attest,
     those murderers didst equate
worthlessness of
     so called "Indians" on 1492 date,

and still remnants of storied tribes,
     now attempt to create
historical documentation operate
ting with limited resources to adjudicate.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Food methinks doth buzzfeed drumbeat agog
at pyrotechnics July 4th, 2018 shared as blog
posts, a falsehood prevails which dog
gone “FAKE” brewed watered down grog
posits that the majority of Colonialists stay hog

tied to strict task masters, and mainly the scant
upperclass experienced autonomy,
     no matter the under class didst futilely rant
and rave with the occasional
     uprisings over time did grant
minimal appeasement to stifle violent kant!
Malignant gangrenous political cancer
corrupts, festers, and poisons United States,
thus opposition cannot wait,
especially since Gospel in accordance

with feeble minded Donald Trump
implemented wrought ugly trait,
particularly obliteration, sans progressive
human rights legislation

more or less pronounced positive
in every L ionized Nittany or cotton bowl state
and ratiocination inherent within
mine Democrat oriented mind doth rate

this forty fifth president (defect)
with sawdust packing
his noodle oven egotistical pate
trophy wife (spouse number three),

a Slovenian mate
donning "I don't care anymore"
t-shirt rousing media firestorm of late
essentially silently corroborating,

fostering, and illuminating hate
mutely bolstering the Trump anthem,
viz make America great
again, which pathless,

pithless, and pointless aim
roars like an earsplitting runaway freight
train oblivious of wailing soul asylum,
that no era meets said criteria

backtracking time machine before
rightful indigenous occupants of this land
got decimated as one after another
exploiter did inundate

(comprising a multitude
of indigenous variety of village people
indignantly subjected to Genocide,
when first "discoverer"

of new land didst promulgate
activation wrought deliberate sealed fate
vis a vis capitulation, demolition,
and extirpation, cuz

a scathing rebuke aye attest,
those murderers didst equate
worthlessness of
so called "Indians" on 1492 date,

and still remnants of storied tribes,
now attempt to create
historical documentation operate
ting with limited resources to adjudicate.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Food methinks doth buzzfeed drumbeat agog
at pyrotechnics July 4th, 2018 shared as blog
posts, a falsehood prevails which dog
gone “FAKE” brewed watered down grog
posits that the majority of Colonists stayed hog

tied to strict task masters, and mainly the scant
upper class experienced autonomy,
no matter the under class didst futilely rant
and rave with the occasional
uprisings over time did grant
minimal appeasement to stifle violent kant.

Alas and alack
though reasonable rhyme crafted some time back
spider lines across Democratic firmament
issue more'n one crack.

How alarming that tempus fugit
decrees trumpets about banishing true grit
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
deprived genius and/or nitwit
will witness divine creator placing obit
freedoms long since perished,
how pleasant to be hashtagged a twit!
though strictly Fermi, and oh...(en Rico) plus sun
dre other parvenues, a rapture
     surges thru me,
     when audibly communicating, enunciating,
     and speaking English words

as if hi ken run
a marathon, or zip to the moon,
     (take as cheesy tong in cheek)
     from this pun
gent, who relishes reading for my eyes and ears
     asper myself, which purported nun

sense ink reese sees learn'n
     den earn an award,
especially wash'n black board
den breathing intelligent dust
     from eraser head could awk cord,

I utter Hieronymus Bosch, bing enamored,
and aye actually confess
     tubby a model United Nations chimp
pan zee, and/or other
     type of survey monkey hook can huff ford

Old Rotten Gotham horde
sliding down into the behavioral sink...
     exclaiming "oh me jack lord"
and getting rescued then getting less on,

     sans get'n taut how (muss elf George Eliot)
     tubby comb moored
     flossed, milled, and taut
     tubby trained for Operation Ready Date

     by a coop pull oof oot standing chap,
     named Adam West, who poured
salty epithets (reminding me, as they roared
that life iz brutal, short and nasty),

     part tickly ne'r the end
     wharf hew scored
and majority got de toured
until emotionally, physically,
     and spiritually enlightened
     By Rabindranath Tagore and Burt Ward.
Vast dynamic catalysts
     inaugurated biochemical
     (biological), geological,
     and/or meteorological
     processes, that didst
     wax and wane
since time immemorial
     before this "FAKE"

     pencil neck geek NOT vain
poet law re:hot bubbled
     outa (Compton)
     primordial ah stew,
     (ward) uber urbane,
sans global Pangea some
     bajillion years presaging Ukraine
chiseled terra firmae didst reign

from hydrosphere,
     (setting the stage
     for Matthew Scott
     Harris to markedly twain (train)
his thoughts), wrought variable dramatic,
     epochal geographic upheavals
     (recorded palimpsest like)
     across global terrain

catastrophic, dramatic, epic forces
     rendered prehistoric creatures slain
extinction, though billions of years
     survived Prince sip
     pull purple rain
skill little till lee (skeletally),
     within said dam hint
     (sediment) permanently preserving

     an impress'n quatrain
jam packed with species, some
     of which flew like a
     donny soaring plane
signaled onset and demise
     of supposed pseudonymous
     terrible lizards with bulging eyes
"NON FAKE" special effects,

     but actual - no lies
wooly alive paw lick
     tickly incorrect, tough,
     winning ignoble dangerous prize
huge, out of control, trumpeting,
     who eve vent chilly gave rise
to Adam Abel bodied

     **** sitter ably reduced
     cane raising,
     (yet most fearsome) size
a totally tubularly err wrecked
     primate nada so wise.
alternately titled: breast ****** fallacy hi-jinxed!

In her “60 Minutes” interview aired
Sunday (March 26th, 2018),
the **** star known within red district
as Stormy Daniels bared
her "naked lady" version

swearing oath of honesty,
she emphatically **** cleared
on a stack of video nasties,
and ******* 'zines
now she can live rest of life

guilt free offloading
hush money endeared
a posteriori into infinitely
jesting bordello loop

with calmly enchanting bug eyed,
drooling media hounds,
whose nostrils flared
squelching the trumpeting Don,

who maliciously glared
for traitorously breaching
“genital man's agreement”),
playing the (sock it to him role
of goody two shoes)
christened Stephanie Clifford)

shaggy long haired
pseudo Mayflower madam averred
to right justice in sought after
****** free nation,
where the turkey
ought tubby national bird

mandating free codicil
to second amendment as of furred
thus, that *** hide from right to bear arms
premature sea r man *******
of Peter ought to be heard

where sudden sound
sans ***** seams burst
**** strapped unseen bulging Johnson's
onslaught hail of expletives cursed
out the mouth of salty sailor spewing Prez,
hook halled for a recess first
and foremost before
questioning resumed
     automatically immersed

within ****** tabloid pulp pit
***** sing Bacchanalian refused to quit
particularly when groin
set zipper (flimsy – obviously,

NOT put thru linkedin
locked down rigorous paces
realized, when pry vet eylit
of trouser snake split)

yielding singular (nada so sterling)
gamut gallimaufry variegated erector set
with singular bulbous
ram rod rocket like trivet.
“The more you know, the more you know you don't know.”

Said quote attributed to Aristotle,
     stands the test of time,
     and not only did out last
many another aphorism,
     but most any learned person,
     would agree proverb cast
greater relevancy today,
     whereby bajillion minutiae doth blast

and bombard relentlessly tenured
     academician, or lay person till aghast
now (i.e. the 21st
     century in general), with fast
and furious incessant information explosion,
     more so than 384–322 BC,
     yet his nestled (chocolated),
     pronounced, revered, vast

paradigm touted as ever last
ting influence still
     vibrant approximately hast
encompassed two and
     a half millenniums past.
Hash tagged the
     "Father of Western Philosophy" -
     imagine us slew

of avid admirers
     lurching back and forth
     (in conjunction with the
     pitched cadenced lilt of Plato),
     say...by a playa in Kalamazoo
Michigan feted for, he warrants a kazoo
blown, who embraced forward doo
*** thinking spanned a gamut,

     where more'n few
adherents or immediate disciplines
     refining (and redefining),
     which amassed breathless
     comprehension aligned hitherto
an expanse of disparate subjects
     sewn (no needling,
     asper this feeble pun)

     to constitute an interrelated web,
     whereat convenience allotted
     quasi distinct abstract queue
     (preceding his sue bare rue
legacy) consigned his
     innate person to integrate
     (by syllogisms he drew)
correcting antiquated inaccuracies,

     and aligned a groovy,
     wheel lee, and well tread
     modernist twist (and shout),
     sans permeating Air Supply
     Bestie Boys, Beatlemania,
     Cold Play ying
     musically noteworthy, loo
pea pod casts, and even spurring

     Beethoven to roll over,
     while dee composing
     (sans my zany brainy adherence
     to "FAKE" information I eschew)
and essentially single handedly grew
the contemporary paradigm few
off fish shill educated
     people didst swallow

     hook, line and sinker, but perhaps
     an enlightened gentile and/or Jew
found credulity linkedin with the then
     far reaching somewhat sunnily
     revolutionary antithetical concepts only
     gull lib bull and/or cuckoo,
despite the logically
     substantiated veritable true

lee near custom fit, hunky
     dory, integrated metaphorical
     interlocking puzzling pieces
     rightly anchoring vast vista
     (realm of known knowledge,
     viz apple pi order)
     shipshape motley crue foo
fighting banded divers lee distinct

     whirled wide webbing
     did not experience
     smooth semantic sailing,
and rather recently
     (historically "speaking") Renaissance
exuded approbation, and found substantial
     adherents among cognoscenti,
     who took to heart as gospel truth,

     the expansive database
apropos christened Aristotélēs translated
     to mean Superior; best of thinkers,
whose missives dissected, inspected,
     and probed for ethical, philosophical,
     and rhetorical handy
     dandy blues clue
meriting nascent outlook, sans salient

     rubric quintessential pointing cue,
analogous to eternal spirit hovering,
     guiding, and favoring new
acolyte, or stalwart
     diehard Aristotelian hew
wing painstakingly, thru

prodigious tomes binding
     ancient (classical Greece) via
     Aristotelianism super glue
rebranded within modern roam'n Times
     Font 12 visa vis,
     when re: discovered
     anew by Martin Heidegger
Ayn Rand, and Alasdair MacIntyre.
(ah...ah...ah...ham eye white...???)

***,... and he looks...
     SAY WHAT??? just like me???,...
     absolutely NO WAY!!!,
would this sensitive,
     respectful, "FAKE" veejay
quiet-natured, mindful,
     loving, kind, underplay
justice invoking, hew today

mainly, gentle, friendly, "I say"
enlightened, democratic chap redisplay
any besotted abominable,
     blamable, culpable, quay
esse chin hubble
     despicable, execrable prey
dot door formidable,
     inhospitable...overplay

ying faux indulgent,
     NOR be mistaken
     to assay, betray, convey,
display, expressway more fay
     writ his'm to
     gainsay hearsay, inveigh
jaw dropping "FAKE"
     yuge weak accusations

(by a long shot), sans
     basket of conspiring deplorables
     attempting to assassinate
bigly believe me tubby "stupid"
     winning loser to berate,
who doth unequivocally create
mine substantial vocabulary rumor,
     versus 4th grade reading level

     trumpeting librettist - thee great
test Don Quixote
     (as falsely sung with hate
full sotto voce), and ramped up
     as ill suited mate
a minus [sic] zero *****,
     which doth hapt
     tubby incredibly tremendous

     disservice to bona fide classy idiots
     with a lot of money
     (like the millions and billions
     of my golfing confrères)
given bent iron golf clubs
     used by crooked Hillary,
     when former Secretary of State
     ideal for Putin on the Ritz

by far less exciting, with
     Bill Clinton's flirtatious flits
trained pudenda purse
     sin null property
     of intern (NO FALLACY)
     topped as southern delicacy dish
consume mated with buttered grits
     pricked prurient peccadilloes licks

suddenly recalling seminal kicks
starting, how with Little Rock kits
he received assistance,
     sans starts and fits,
eventually then nubile
     ingenue Monica Lewinsky
     called time out, cuz at her wits
end once assisting helping

     express his "naughty bits,"
when done completing
     *** mincecd secrete mission
     blue dress draped
     expensively furred

(i.e. tricked out) in her
     "FAKE" minx hiding
     sable animal spirits,
when animal rights
     activists vehemently protested
     out-coming result
     slapping former president
     with a PETA file.
Asper sweaty palms,
and other physiological ills
nothing beats infusion of
spine tingling electrifying chills -
experiencing psychological nirvana,
(nope NOT even
prescription medication pills)

except attaining, experiencing, and succumbing
delivering to ****** flesh, sans
nightly cathartic, intrinsic dream changing stills
and pacific inner calm gained,
thru shuteye, which tranquility
vis a vis REM hark able slumbers instills

necessary linkedin kickstarter instagram
godaddy transcendent reddit state, and fulfills
verity corroborated by perusing reliable
opinions painstakingly researched tracts
compiled by hands of
expert sleep specialists quills.

No surprise to me reading
(easy to understand)
judiciously, meticulously, and
professionally researched studies,
which unswervingly demand
the absolute zero tolerance

to deny deep jeep grand
(Cherokee) surrender into the land
where lovely bones and flesh
at rest, the agreed stand
hard quota of about seven hours finds
Melatonin the naturally occurring hormone,

secreted by the pineal gland
augmenting figurative trip wire,
where entire corporeal being fanned
by naturally biochemical processes
as if...complex species
guided by invisible hand.

Today, upon arising
without deafening vacuum
cleaner, yours truly did not feel gloom
me, nor rankle, an ordinarily mellow (Hume
more wrist) fellow, nee unlike
yesterday morning, where boom
ming ear splitting cacophony

gravely rented death stillness
unwittingly did exhume
even the grateful dead,
they did fuss and fume
(lumbering like 10,000 maniacs)
furious with rage

unbridled as many a jilted groom
(imagine a billion infuriated room
*** hating thwarted lovers) assume
ming stanced ready to throttle throat
of she that chose to clean house
no matter engendering global sonic boom.
Born five score minus seven years ago
minus attaining age of centenarian
father of civil rights movement,
the revered Martin Luther King Junior
honored as benevolent demigod figure
to the oppressed African American population

without whose bold risks
and subsequent brutal assassination April fourth
ninety sixty eight at the hands
of a crazed gunman (James Earl Ray),
whereby all the King's men
and all the King's horses...,

still aghast at tragic event
while reverberations felt forty two years later,
where embedded white privilege
begets continued racial strife
analogous to uncorked raging tempest
saddling people of color to human *******

(no matter ponying up excellent equestrians),
nevertheless wrought empowerment
advancing cherished dreams
of slaves recent descendents
allowing, enabling and providing
once attainable aspirations
only bestowed upon

the self anointed masters and early settlers of
the virginal North American contiguous land mass
yet…generations prior
to this prestigious public personality
Abolitionists pitted themselves
against the institution of slavery

incrementally raising awareness
regarding the abomination
forced servitude incurred on those shackled
thus setting the stage
for this grandson of A.D. Williams
a rural parsonage,

who ministered spiritual support
for the small congregation
(initially only thirteen members)
comprising attendants at
Ebenezer Baptist church in Atlanta Georgia
setting precedent for freedom

(at risk of life and limb) against scourge of
racial prejudice courtesy
of sharecropper grandparents
whose objection to racial segregation
based on an affront to the will of God,
whereby the young whip smart precocious lad,

(whose impact we now memorialize)
showed his true colorful promise
when a young student at
Liberal Crozer Theological Seminary
in Chester, Pennsylvania
where the yet uncrowned

eminent king came under the influence
of theologian Reinhold Niebuhr,
a classmate of his father's
at Morehouse College
who became a mentor by exposing
his protégée to liberal views of theology

planting the seeds of ardent activism
that gave rise to
The Southern Christian
Leadership Conference (SCLC),
an initial platform
allowing, enabling and providing acclaim

hoisted up by petard
invariably only heightened
(his) posthumous status
as thee most articulate orator
spelling binding the listeners
with his metaphors about his emphatic march

to a promised land where all
men/women could be brothers/sisters
and no person will be judged
by the color of his/her skin
raising morale of many dirt poor
ebony masses to feel a glimmer of hope.
Five score minus eight years ago
January eighteenth two thousand twenty one
father of civil rights movement
the revered Martin Luther King Junior honored
as benevolent demigod figure
to the oppressed African American population

without whose bold risks
and subsequent brutal assassination April fourth
ninety sixty eight at the hands
of a crazed gunman (James Earl Ray),
whereby all the King's men
and all the King's horses...,

still aghast at tragic event
while reverberations felt forty two years later,
where embedded white privilege
begets continued racial strife
analogous to uncorked raging tempest
saddling people of color to human *******

(no matter ponying up excellent equestrians),
nevertheless wrought empowerment
advancing cherished dreams
of slaves recent descendents
allowing, enabling and providing
once attainable aspirations
only bestowed upon

the self anointed masters and early settlers of
the virginal North American contiguous land mass
yet…generations prior
to this prestigious public personality
Abolitionists pitted themselves
against the institution of slavery

incrementally raising awareness
regarding the abomination
forced servitude incurred on those shackled
thus setting the stage
for this grandson of A.D. Williams
a rural parsonage,

who ministered spiritual support
for the small congregation
(initially only thirteen members)
comprising attendants at
Ebenezer Baptist church in Atlanta Georgia
setting precedent for freedom

(at risk of life and limb) against scourge of
racial prejudice courtesy
of sharecropper grandparents
whose objection to racial segregation
based on an affront to the will of God,
whereby the young whip smart precocious lad,

(whose impact we now memorialize)
showed his true colorful promise
when a young student at
Liberal Crozer Theological Seminary
in Chester, Pennsylvania
where the yet uncrowned

eminent king came under the influence
of theologian Reinhold Niebuhr,
a classmate of his father's
at Morehouse College
who became a mentor by exposing
his protégée to liberal views of theology

planting the seeds of ardent activism
that gave rise to
The Southern Christian
Leadership Conference (SCLC),
an initial platform
allowing, enabling and providing acclaim

hoisted up by petard
invariably only heightened
(his) posthumous status
as thee most articulate orator
spelling binding the listeners
with his metaphors about his emphatic march

to a promised land where all
men/women could be brothers/sisters
and no person will be judged
by the color of his/her skin
raising morale of many dirt poor
ebony masses to feel a glimmer of hope.
(if alive...though way up in years,
the cherished divine endearing gent,
would nonetheless captivate ears
of all colors with hearty, gracious cheers,
yet though long since gone to dust,
his posthumous belated birthday still registers blares.)

Two score and eleven years ago come
April fourth, two thousand nineteen
father of civil rights movement the,
Reverend Martin Luther King Junior honored
as benevolent demigod figure to the

oppressed African American population
without whose bold risks and subsequent
assassination April fourth
ninety sixty eight at the hands of a crazed
gunman (James Earl Ray),  

wrought empowerment advancing dreams
of slaves recent descendents
allowing, enabling and providing
once attainable aspirations
only bestowed upon the self anointed

masters and early settlers
of the virginal North
American contiguous land mass
yet…generations prior to this
prestigious public personality

Abolitionists pitted themselves against
the institution of slavery
incrementally raising awareness
per the abomination
forced servitude incurred

on those shackled
thus setting the stage for this
grandson of A.D. Williams,
a rural parsonage, who
ministered spiritual support

for the small congregation
(initially only thirteen members)
comprising attendants at Ebenezer Baptist
Church in Atlanta Georgia
setting precedent for freedom

(at risk of life and limb)
against scourge of
racial prejudice courtesy
of sharecropper grand parents
whose objection to racial segregation based

on an affront to the will of God
whereby the young
whip smart precocious lad,
(whose impact we now memorialize)
showed his true colorful promise,

when a young student at
Liberal Crozer Theological Seminary
in Chester, Pennsylvania
where the yet uncrowned eminent King
came under the influence

of theologian Reinhold
Niebuhr, a classmate
of his father's at Morehouse College
who became a mentor
by exposing his protégée

to liberal views of theology
planting the seeds of ardent
activism that gave rise to
The Southern Christian
Leadership Conference (SCLC)

an initial platform hoisting his status as
thee most articulate orator
spelling binding the listeners
with his soaring metaphors
about his emphatic march

to a promised land
where all men/women
could be brothers/sisters
and no person will be judged
by the color of his/her skin
raising morale of many dirt poor ebony
(and lighter skin toned) masses
to feel a glimmer of hope!
One need not be David Copperfield,
nor a card shark/sharp, scrutinizing
random display codified
computer algorithm doth yield.

The chance to "win"
may appear tubby zero
analogous finding a diamond
in the rough, even
with help of
a heartfelt superhero

nonetheless toil away, asper
setting suitable ***** work,
and **** sombrero
just so to avoid,
the virtual sun
shining in eyes, and affect

a fin guard hand sum
swagger that Cicero,
would be fain to boast
whereat sportsman/
woman ship touted
from one coast

to another for playing
fair and square
as with a ghost,
but essentially nobody,
but yourself dost host,
which one person team,

(thou self) essentially most
ideal match, when testing layout
random shuffle computer
program did post,
and no matter experiencing
cerebral neurons sizzling
like fifty shades plus

of gray matter roast
ting like chestnuts
on an open fire
envision accolades huzzahs,
and special toast

ye give yourself,
no matter stiff odds
stacked against thee,
and feel a bit whooshy
washy outsmarting the

game coder despite yar *****
feeling comfortably numb,
with tingling sensation,
no matter squishy
tissue being pinched with

all out effort of most pushy
fan (again your sole self),
who succeeds as best
groupie getting mushy
timidly asking yourself

for an autograph,
and lastly taking a selfie
posing incognito with a
note tory us whig  
outlandishly bushy.
Cannot Wall The Will Of Catapulting Mice

A titled unwritten poem requiring
little effort to dip and dive
I accidentally, inadvertently,
and unexpectedly scrolled up in digital archive
among various and sundry literary endeavors,
eh, maybe about a bajillion and five,

in various stages of completion kept alive
on life support, and one non entitled migrant idea,
that unwaveringly, incessantly, dost connive
clamorously, cetera doth buzz inside my head
(aswarm like angry bees in a hive)
constitutes how ("FAKE") president Trump

emits asynchronous vibe that dost not to jive
with best interests of American people even Ivy
League scholars found yours truly ruminating,
how mine "avid groupies",
would deem to warrant duct taping
me whole body, asper drive

ving figurative written wedge, sans
my blunt opinion against commander in chief,
subsequently finding me literally diced,
hashed, minced, et cetera as an endive
or more palatable onion's relative chive
into a million little pieces,

thus better angles with me strongly advised
(along with voice of Robert Mueller) best to arrive
at less controversial topic, hence I will strive
even if blindly chased by Farmer's wive
to express (with rhyme,
but no reason), and douse

or simply avoid trumpeting, scathing,
flickr ring potential conflagration
reject as acceptable carouse
zing which resultant virtual wildfire,
would most likely lack adequate Whitehouse
funds to extinguish, this phrase

e'en thee spouse
would elicit, and expect
no readers to grouse
finding your truly making
bee line to dormouse
which doubles up (at least

for this poem) as cathouse
captivated by entertaining antics
of common house mouse
(Mus musculus), a rather mundane
alternative fur this louse,
yet I (Stuart Little)

attest tubby powerhouse
as one athletic creature
among mice and men
able to leap over tall blocks of cheese
in a single bound, ease
zee as...app pull pie by jeeves,

or prayerfully taking wing
yup...even within the uber jungle of Belize
ideally on heels of strong breeze
even on command staying stock still
if asked to freeze
for a selfie while juggling...please

do not distract, no...no..no...
without question do not dangle keys
and if shivering with cold
avoid knocking knees

so me and nest of pestiferous pals
can earn opportunity to earn fame
and fortune nothing to sneeze
at...at...at...chew, and
contract deadly disease.
This dada apologizes for injure
     ring your tender kin
     dolled innocent girlhood,
     (ex post facto probably
     to little tool hate)
thus this father's lament,
     hoops words can caught her

eyes, sans estrangement from
     thee mine eldest daughter,
asper countless times,
     this papa acted
     like a roguish cur,
now those accidental,
     and/or purposeful misdeeds

     digs like a figurative burr
and/or digging deeper
     thorn in me side - arg...
as the years spin by,
asper inflicting unintended
     psychological pain inducing

yours truly (me) to cry
the beloved "star student,"
     most likely taking mine
     (hurt lock hard suffering),
     til I breathe one
     last breath...and then die,
hence reason for this poem

     to let mine soul fly
free, (the closest approximation,
viz this atheistic guy)
aware at the necessity
     to expunge self devouring
(i.e. cannibalistic) beast - hie
engendered, which

     sacrilegious paternity
     cannot be reversed,
yet only thee
can consonant avow
wool to admit culpability,
     humility, and magnanimity,
thus this opportunity, I cow

whir with unbeknownst
divination, persistent hesitation,
and knottiest lamentation how
so much, your
     life times worth of
     unpleasantness (which telling,
     would entail voluminous writing),

hence a poem for now
aware at the heft and pow
whir of written words,
     which intent may not wow
thee atoll, nonetheless
     rather than detail
every single instance,

     where ye did feel
extreme friggin grief,
     perhaps which pain
     you will never heal,
tis necessary for this
     father to profess guilt -
     not so much

     taking a knee and kneel
ling, attest cognizance how
     my choices, indiscretions,
and recklessness
     did comfortably seal,
sans posturepedic,
     and seriously unveil

fatalistic, narcissistic,
     and pathetic lifestyle blight
such as being unemployed,
     and for a decade
lived in Penn Valley,
a most fright
full and appalling utter

     grossness, where these
opened eyes shed light
on a deplorable, despicable,
     and detestable offal
     housekeeping, where even
     critters (such as mice)
     came out at night

wearing miniature gas masks,
     and also donned with
     teensy weensy, itty bitty
oxygen tanks, when scurrying
amidst horrible unlivable sight

oh...this juiced smidgen of hell
     imposed on Eden Liat
     (as well Shana Aubrey),
     and mooch more could I write!
Of "permanent" Sleep

Abbott, nothing beats the
     immortal heavenly reincarnation
     after mortality odometer
     unexpectedly set to zeros
preparing deceased
     body, mind and spirit,
     as I eternally rest in peace
     asthma terminally ill self pitched

     forever and anon deathly yoyos,
no matter rigor mortis froze
poised position aye chose
with limbs akimbo
     as final seconds didst close
before transcendent
     shimmering light rose,
     this sentient being

     now en route to bro's
and twisted sistah,
     I pleasantly heard angels
     counting black crows,
thus, aye beamed delightfully,
and joyus lee, when innocently
     proudly dashed of this prose
during, what seemed an infinite

    walk to the gallows,
nonetheless, an everlasting
     slumber awaited compared
     to a brief, yet
     temporal quality repose,
now soul to keep
     will join rank and file
     standing straight as arrows

of Harris Hessian brigade,
     (though unusual, untimely,
     and unnatural death,
     I am NOT opposed
     attested by this germane guy),
     than...,undoubtedly
     much more refreshing
     albeit prolonged dose,

where the corporeal self goes
into permanent deep slumber,
     yet impossible to regale,
     and add depose
(of beatitude), until
     til the end of timed minutes
     after eyes close,
where eyelids shut tight

     like miniature steel trap doors,
     and subconscious self flows
into deepest forever
     rapid eye movement
     from head to toes
sublimating forever into
     vividly profound, albeit
     immediately forgotten dreams

     representing lifetime aiming
     to get deceased expose
zing for all the world to see
     how non wakeful state grows
absent heroic measures
     prolonging awful existence,
     whew did close
subsequently brows

out, asper misguided
     wrongful death sentence, aye
     whole heartedly embraced
at long last NO more
     struggles, aye suppose,
NOR fending off grogginess,
     when living times predominantly
     felt many futile attempts witnessing

     chronically tired state, whar
     this plain being oft times
     took **** NON
     fatal Kamikaze nose
dive finding (not ready
     for after life prime time player
     unpracticed to prolong fatigue pros),
say ick lee, hence physical self

     dove right back dwelling
     amidst sleepy hallows
presently able (I cane)
     cease worrying stave off
     indomitable drowsiness succumbing
     to overwhelming tiredness,
which occasionally (nee daily) warranted
     necessary advantageous measures

     intravenously access
     sing caffeinated jolt
     to get a headstart, jumpstart,
     and kickstart from
     sipping morning "Joe," Blows
i.e. coffee than marveling
     as "FAKE" energy
     noel hunger grows!
(pronounced – u jai yah)

The following haphazardly cobbled together some few years past (initially as a reasonable rhyme), nevertheless sustained discipline yours truly mather of fact doth cotton metaphorical gin still spins (yarn not gonna believe poppycock) within livingsocial as outcast of poker flats pun gent, whereby I strive to meditate successfully daily upwelling groovy sensation some hours doth last balloons within me buoying airborne courtesy spiritual blast.

Approximately three plus decades ago, I became ambitious to learn Yoga Asanas blow pesky mind chatter away (postures) despite inflexible body non coe whopper rating adamantly refusing to bend doe like (no just at the knee), but essentially flow wing stretches, while uncomfortably seated go wing to floor.

Mine physique experiences non Joe veal extreme difficulty involved simply seating stiff - NO can do sitting, whence, bony **** versus slightly more addy Poe posterior padding (viz junk in trunk) at present. The status quo mutter hoof act honest to dog cross my heart ambition roe bust lee expended to do more than sit on floor. Even slow lee sliding downward muscular flexion quite, a temporary restraining order i.e. TRO figurative and literal stretch.

Nonetheless, this persevering Lake wobegon soul lowered slender body, (when eye attended class) at Yo Yo ma intentional community within Sumneytown, Pennsylvania named Kripalu Yoga Community, where residents adapt macrobiotic diet under too till edge via auspices of cherished founder (Amrit Desai, i.e. Guru Dev).

Before entering sanctified space everybody removed their shoes often (now and again) guests welcome to partake regimen at said rue **** men tree idyllic retreat offering general public an opportunity true lee worth effort to experience this alternative lifestyle.

Though “U” might already be a pro unlike me, who didst barely progress as aye re: view memories toward greater flexibility minimally made one lasting whew benefit constituted of deep breathing asper you dull lies segue-way into light trance intended meditative zooming into mindfulness away from rat race. Even to this day, an effort gets made to set space aside time to transcend cares and concerns trace sing worry lines from uncertain future, and vase a versa if conditions favorable induce lightness – erase sing major concerns of being if perchance, face shill contortion asper body doth trite hoo easy and grace full flowingly, gently, harmoniously, indubitably lace limbs one into another - joyfully, kinesthetically, at comfortable pace.

Ewe experience lambent maneuvering naturally, optimally, peacefully, quietly, surreptitiously, et cetera into deep sleep of a hilly Edenic mirage tenderly controlling inhalation, and exhalation might seem silly, sans breathing hopefully remains sustained.

As a novitiate practitioner with ***** Wonka, this magical, modality (qua zee moat *** modus operandi) regarding, striving toward ultimately vast wrestled xfinity, yielding zestful fling away global concerns all the while grappling dutifully attaining jingling mystical state of consciousness, (perhaps mental experience a king dome all to itself, similarly venerated, vis a vis basically comprehend ping pong per positive phrases analogy, asper anyone who reads and understands this ring gull ling communique) as I attempt to describe mesmerize zing, mindset mosaic explicit words seem da fish hint.

Thus analogous self induce hypnotic cerebral deep minted experience possibly more clear to envision without stinting the reeder. Nonetheless, the conscious, deliberate guided “high” kickstarted courtesy Ujjayi breathing, which tint head breath comprises breathing technique employed in different
variety of Taoist and Yoga practices.

In relational mash mich hug gun flint sparking neurons to ascend Yogic exaltation, where mindset doth glint within casting glowing countenance whispering the ocean breath.

The length and speed of breathing aid did, controlled by diaphragm, strengthening braid did mental fiber which purposefulness of ujjayi without being fanatical, an effort gets made daily meditation teasing envisioned in laid within wafting warm waves (comprising grade “A” leased half hour, but no more than twenty four). If time constraints un war rented ala limited restraints disallow currying pour forth, the course fostering, inducing limned score arching relaxation merely practicing to open a door slow prolonged breathing bonjour can deliver (pizza pie) energizing feel akin to flying like Icarus above urban jungle roar.
A diabolical, inimical, piratical,
and venal worm,
whose cut throat devious shenanigans
found yours truly to squirm;
his addiction to money (mine)
sated until he ****** me dry
analogous to nicoderm,
yet impossible mission
to smoke out the most minute germ
converting life savings of mine
into bitcoin cyber currency.

Horrible reality of being hoodwinked,
preyed upon human vermin
immediately upended high jinxed mien
floundering ten thousand leagues
under the cyber sea
analogous to Titanic submersible.

I always feel myself surprised
to what length con artists (scammers)
expend themselves, when they
(he, she) could be
productive citizens of society.

In plain English,
yours truly got blindsided, extorted
interrogated, needled,
tricked, and frankly zapped
courtesy fobbing off
honest to goodness verity
springing from computer malware
kickstarting me to be virtually robbed
in broad daylight
with the fullest consent of
self anointed aspiring poet,
(steeled against irony

as if liberating money
in both saving
and checking accounts – two of each
emptied out as if expunged funds
belonged to somebody else),
when delivering a sucker punch
that cost me more than
thirteen thousand dollars
inviting such thoughts
to overdose on prescription medication.

Hence, the shonda rhyme
of utter literal pennilessness
decries hatred linkedin
proclaiming scathing wretchedness
upon the talking head
(with a clipped dialect)
ensnaring unsuspecting victims
(lower case in point -
writer of these words),
when Macbook Pro laptop
got rendered non functionally disabled
thank you ghost in the machine,
wherein reigned indubitable chaos.

Hence, loss of nest egg
(found me cracked up)
regarding resultant monetary liquidation
fall of the crowded house ushered
disquisition without hesitation
briefly describing my death
originally due to fetal positioned
congenital psychological affliction
and today's painful aggravation,
when countless Benjamins
gussied up as hobgoblins

joined human league
averse to plaintive benediction
thence, this with mine jetblue
skinny legs like a chicken
his (mein kampf) got dealt mortal
(who gives a hoot) blowfish
rem mains disintegrated
by mailer daemons usurped dereliction,
whereby sanity given eviction
in the subsequent fiction

that makes feeble attempt
to evoke stricken gumption,
where eons ago nihilistic thoughts rode
roughshod to wreak humiliation
upon prepubescent initiation,
whereby the antithesis of jubilation
kept the author (yes, yours truly)
like a trapped mouse
in a cat protected kitchen,
where no cheeses cur heist
could rectify or bring libation.

Noah hide dee ya what mailer daemon
possessed this earthlinked
live nada so hotmail
to splutter so much persiflage
as evidenced above and in the following.

Ye might well categorize
the palaver as pure llama
heaped dung attempting
to sneak into yar consciousness
as some esoteric badinage aspiring
to convey that this doodler
with words adroit
with the english language.

Temptation to bid fare thee well
bah humbug anguish
cuz down the gullet goes lethal drug
e'en without any farewell hug
after smacking lips polished
off deadly drink from mug.

Within reverie long fostered hankered freedom
at last attained to exit silently
terrestrial real estate oblate spheroid
during hulu heralded century 21,
which would deliver
(ants sir) rectifying eternal senescent deliverance.

Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness
and goodwill toward men/women
served as a mere pretense
extant the global arcade.

Nothing boot charade, enfilade
(albeit with limp poetic/
prosaic pugnacious), facade,
gilded hilariously inside *******.

Ever since he kickstarted lifelessly,
his noggin oddly plunged quietly
resting as a deceased shutterfly
tonight under vaporous wisps
as somber mood prevailed
amidst the cloistered silence imposed from
the shunted cremated preference
re: symbolic (logical)
figurative burial of Matthew Harris
subsequently reincarnated as soft dust.

Potter's field here I come,
one harried styled swiftly tailored
faceless book earthworm member
joined the rank n file
of his slimy brethren n cistern
when a mortal male
(crushed courtesy cruel
cockamamie crime) ceased
to live June twenty first
two thousand twenty three.

I foresaw how miserable fate worse than death
resolved, albeit at loss to kith and kin
of beloved brother, father to deux
darling grown daughters and husband
since July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
now left destitute and widowed.

Immune to antics of scallywags,
the grim reaper undertook requisite business
and swung a his scythe with effortless breath
and started coffin.

He exhaled little billows of cold air
while awaiting the hearst
carrying lifeless body
of none other than me doppelganger.

Prior to imagined demise, I took special pains
to select an ideal piloted kamikaze pilot plot.

A mossy glen with a mill by the pond
of my boyhood swimming hole
served like the ideal welcome mat
for the return of this native son
long gone from his family estate of Glen Elm.

At pinnacle of storied fame
death struck (with welcome arms) unexpectedly
while dodging the madding crowd
off hucksters, punsters,
and xenophobic bummers
jostling to get a glimpse of renown author,
where paparazzi seemed
destined to track me down.

As the advocate of countless essays
on inalienable rights
for all creatures large and small,
no pause from the hounding
local populace offered peace of mind.

Until now!

The prospect of dying
never scared this non-believer.

Cessation of consciousness
essentially served completion of life
in corporeal form
and reconstituted physical being
into grist for other organisms to flourish.

Karma and glorious unique characteristics
comprising each of our respective charisma,
dogma, and persona
(generally comprising an enigma
to the world) absorbed
after contract with cosmic creator lapsed.

Brief occupancy on this terrafirma
as inscribed in genetic code
(merely a blink of an eye
in the universal schema)
gave this now deceased dreamer
notion to maximize enjoyment of each day.

One need not globe trot
(and boast of espying exotic places),
but could experience inner harmony
by imbibing the present.

Simple pleasures that abounded
in the wild or evoked via creative imagination
of august writers supplied
ample sustenance for satisfaction.

Contemplative and introspective mien
prompted Eros to be discerned
in the grand canyon of Mother Nature
in tandem with personal motive
to indulge like-minded thinkers
since the beginning of time.

Any given day frequently found thoughts
turning over every figurative
jagged rolling stone
when the veiled, shrouded, cloaked...
characterization invoking angel of death
might silently spring a surprise visit,
which metaphysical thought
interestingly enough gave sigh of relief.

Why?

Upon termination of enjoying existence
in living color, the eradication
of this pet peeve of mine i.e.
anxiety/ panic attacks
interwoven with inxs
of obsessive compulsive behavior
would dissolve into basic elements
of earth, wind and fire.

No iota amount of matter
marshaled the non-entity dimension
would assume command.

Those former psychological trials
would thence be relinquished
from their parasite role
and recompose cells
of one mortal man (me)
into matter to be recycled
into raw materiel
for other organisms to feast upon.

Basic constituent cells
of **** sapien in question
would become necessary seeds
for some other manifestation
for plant or animal development.

Godaddy maggots sans fancy feast,
a best buy per this former
foo fighting beastie boy,
whose nihilistic outlook
promulgated within his in utero psyche.

Gestation as an embryonic fetus,
the potential live, googly eyed,
earth-linked, wannabe hotmail prodigy
harbored no oshkosh bug gosh
pinterest to remain
in the world wide web of bad company.

Hence, nothing could mollify measly
mumbling linkedin kibitzer,
albeit progressive matchless
who unwittingly opened
the red box of Pandora.

Molecular features
would assume novel combinations
thru said degradation of flesh,
yet improvisation of biology
would wield wasted corpse
that once epitomized an articulate,
civil, enumerate, glib, invertebrate,
kind male into novel marvels
of unpredictable genus and species.
I led a boring life.
The end.

All joking aside, now the epilogue.

As a bookish fellow born January 13th,1959
he attended school and got promoted
as a mediocre student,
who honestly nearly failed every grade
courtesy my nasty, short
and brutish doppelgänger,
who nixed, sabotaged, waylaid
me a little boy blue
(nothing but a representation of innocence),
who felt depressed
at the prospect of experiencing childhood's end,
and essentially tried to starve himself to death
courtesy Anorexia Nervosa
but mother dearest intervened
being a licensed practical nurse
whipped up in the blender
heaping spoonfuls of bananas,
molasses, wheat germ, et cetera
a veritable smoothie
à la pureed fruit drink
(harkening popularity
of said liquid refreshment
in Mediterranean
and Eastern cultures for centuries),
nevertheless, she possessed alchemical wizardry
to turn straw into gold,
she learned secret from "Rumpelstiltskin,"
matter of fact
as first and only born son
of Harriet and Boyce,
they willingly surrendered
their scrawny screaming newborn
to the imp of the pervert brainchild
(predicated upon phrase caveat emptor)
of an anonymous author popularized
courtesy a German fairy tale
collected by the Brothers Grimm in the 1812,
hence no surprise
the biological woman
(then in her mid/late thirties)
who birthed me
in the webbed wide world,
possessed the knick knack paddy whack
ways and means
to make grim reaper skadaddle
and make him temporarily scarce
during his debut appearance,
nevertheless suicidal ideation
schemes brooded but never hatched
nor became manifest destiny
throughout mein kampf
though the thought
to overdose on fluoxetine
(generic for Prozac)
does flit hither and yon,
to and fro within the nooks and crannies
of sixty six year old
nearly petrified gray matter,
which body electric of mine
will be dedicated to science
with the knowledge me Abby Normal brain
bringing descendent of Doctor Victor Frankenstein's
tech savvy monster of the future
to life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
purely generated like fine spun gold,
courtesy artificial intelligence,
yet possessing a characteristic glimmer
of the donor's aura, charisma,
karma, persona, et cetera,
an unexceptional human,
he Matthew Scott Harris
led (and still lives)
a humdrum existence
(fifty years ago the tract
and once sprawling estate
known as “Glen Elm”
happened to be in the sticks)
within southeastern
Montgomery County Pennsylvania
smarting from continually exhibiting hesitancy
to engage in the thick scrum of life
rather yours truly
figuratively and literally sat on the sidelines
never being asked
to join patriot or reindeer games,
and when I got reluctantly linkedin (courtesy default)
with a particular team,
the other members
frowned and rolled their eyes
and sighed with resignation
stuck with the last person picked
aware that an immediate deficit
got consigned to them
guaranteeing disruption
to unbroken winning streak
acquiring the appellation of "loser"
and other attendant colorful epithets
long before Trump
popularized said sobriquet
even though both my parents
contributed their fair share
of verbally traumatizing mine psyche,
allowing, enabling and providing myself
as figurative punching bag,
nevertheless I out did receiving abuse
inflicting denigration of self by a long stretch
courtesy chance discovery
of self directed emasculation
experiencing emotional death by a thousand cuts
permanently scarring the body, mind,
and spirit triage
of he who wrote these words,
which modus operandi of literary expression
offered him, especially in his later life
(after the passing of those
who begat him and eagerly subscribed
to the biological urge to reproduce and adage
"be fruitful and multiply,"
a phrase from Genesis 1:28 where,
a blessing and a command
related to procreation and population growth)
a catharsis and therapeutic exercise.
Couched in the
     concept of a well,
     (which supplied the water
     for faded glory of "Glen Elm),"
     my boyhood abode,
another metaphorical attempt
     at writer's block - aid,
     here attempting to reference

     (former Leiper estate re: early
     twentieth century demesne)
     across avast tract, which bestrode
approximately a hundred
     acres enshrined sanctuary,
(yet whittled down
     to about a half dozen acres,
when Boyce Harris made purchase

     circa February 28th 1968),
     sans plethora paradise
     of flora and
     fauna once code
did ecologic niche,
     now...long since transformed
     into ticky tack vinyl city
     servicing twenty first

     century materialistic cushy
     (on *****) sedentary worker
     dog tired to pen a ditty
(butta no mien
     mean manual laborer,
     neither grubby nor gritty)
     propertied class i.e. bourgeoisie),
     whence about a century gone by,

     where wild woods would still
     have been agreeable
     to the ghost of Walter Mitty,
or John James Audubon
(born Jean Rabin;
     April 26, 1785 – January 27, 1851,
     an American ornithologist,
     naturalist, and painter),

     who would pity
fully unleash torrential
     tears, nor witty
countenance supposedly progress
     this eighteenth year
since advent of second millennium
     bench marked based on
     start of common era

     at expense, where
countless animals and plants veer
really didst vanish, ah swell
     as a pond
     attracting Canadian Geese
     (they honked in
     French), now...there
tis nary a trace

     of former Currier
     and Ives bucolic
     scene, aye swear
     not e'en a sparse copse pier
reed (and exclamation
     point) argh near
re: zero vestige of vanished
     rural expanse mere

lee cookie cutter
     (look alike)
     family dwellings brave
lee evicting, jack
     knifing, and crave
vin lee over
     laying pastoral
     enclave iniquitous

(courtesy of Neilson, and flave
er flave Gambone
     Brothers), rendered grave
bounty viz Anne
     Xing Mother Nature's
     brethren and cistern did pave
a successful accomplishment
     measured by (Ole) standard

in parlance and accorded rave,
ving reviews, asper
     a job welled (weld) done,
     where only legally tendered
     bucks fate didst save!
Worth north of a trillion dollars,
(plus or minus a billion dollars here and there),
the unnamed obscenely rich,
(which top 15 billionaires
projected to become trillionaires
can be located on the computer courtesy
typing Top 15 billionaires
projected to become trillionaires
into the Google search bar
and clicking EuroNews tab)
will possess more money
than the GDP (gross domestic product =
the total monetary or market value
of all the finished goods and services
produced within a country's borders
in a specific time period) of many countries,
including Switzerland
and most African countries:
many talking heads
bet their bottom dollar
and float the name of Elon Musk
who leads the list
could become the first trillionaire by 2027,
with a net worth value
"growing at an average rate
of 109.88 percent every year."

A plutocracy (from Ancient Greek πλοῦτος (ploûtos)
'wealth' and κράτος (krátos) 'power')
or plutarchy is a society ruled or controlled
by people of great wealth or income,
whose indiscriminate whim
"Rule by might" often called "kratocracy"
which comes from the Greek word "kratos"
meaning "power" and essentially
describes a government
where those with the most
strength or power are able to rule,
often through force or coercion;
the phrase "might makes right"
encapsulates this concept.

I fear a dystopian future
providing sinister combination
regarding concentration of immense wealth
linkedin with excessive might spells
(in my simple mind)
absolute zero freedom
for those who elected said coterie,
whereby filthy rich power hungry consort
(self declare) themselves titans
fostering closest approximation of immortality
videre licet thru seeds of life and white lily
banish constitutional and democratic freedoms
to dictate enslavement of the hoi polloi,
especially those reduced to near pennilessness
(case in point - yours truly or me)
will be at the beck and call (twenty four seven)
forced to labor to sustain
the means of production in exchange
(where robots serve as cruel taskmasters)
for basic survival on meager rations
living social in shoddy constructed collective
(abominable) barrack type accommodations
lacking modern amenities
such as plumbing for washing and heating,
nipping in the bud any predilection
to indulge scant spare moments already spoken -
for domestic upkeep of spartan shelter
against the sheltering sky,
(not even measurable in hours)
particularly reading or writing,
which luxuries banned
replaced by forcibly attending mandatory
group think workshops delineating
paying homage to those who wielded
the reins of power and banking
courtesy cryptocurrency
pittance doled out and only usable
at so called government decreed canteens,
and should any discovered evidence
reveal black market antics,
would be immediate cause
for execution at the hands
of randomly chosen jury
comprising men and women among the masses.

Bidding wars among the top tier
commandeered, lorded over, and regulated
the level of countless plutocrats
twenty first contemporaries
disproportionately wealthy among the rat pack
regarding those monetarily endowed
(inherited or bullied)
true blue titans of American industry
ranked next in line
incorporated olde monied class,
and nouveau riche
which closest entity to bourgeoisie
analogous to robber barons
among populace of yesteryear)
ruled over déclassé indigent outliers
wherein I grovel along
until death do me part.
Into Young Womanhood

this glorious role, sans
     helping beget and nurture thine first born
three day shy of Christmas 1996,
     fills thy being
     with joie de vivre and doth add dorn
more resplendent than any horn
of plenty, and aye can only imagine
     more precious than fine spun gold
ah...how this papa doth recall,
     when he didst hold

and/or swaddle his edenic bundle of joy
     and taking stock,
     how she (christened
     Eden Liat) didst mold

herself into an autonomous offspring,
     rarely receiving a scold
cuz, she most times seemed well mannered
     and infrequently told,

and thus said benevolent prized progeny
     required no special programming nor app
even when a child, adolescent or,
     latte (sipping) teen,
     this genetic bounty evinced

     laser like thinking
     with a custom made thinking cap
although...yes, (there erupted a verbal flap
toward the missus or me,
     (the latter and former

     markedly differed asper child rearing,
     which unseen rift
     engendered a figurative gap
mollycoddling, holding, consoling,
     et cetera distraught daughter on me lap

which cradling, fas incubating, rocking...,
     which oft found
     this biomedically cherished baby taking her nap
twas at such poignant bonding moments,
page number two.

     aye DID NOT decry the parent trap,

thus now, special "gifts"
     with bittersweet motions bespeak
as tears (viz - ode to joy)
     stream down each stubbled cheek
this middle aged grown man,
     doth recollect with embarrassment
     how as a teen thyself as classic "geek"
whereat mine demeanor extremely meek
AND let NO chanced avail

     for one to take a peak
and now...unstoppable
     grievousness awoke,
     oh no...nothing un speak
or print able did occur only a human weak

ness, when thine voice
     un-necessarily raised yet,
blink back moistened
     slightly crowsfeet darkened eyes set

tills within this intelligent
     well read and let
hard bloke accepts the "circle game of life"
...listening to thee

     beautiful, charming, exemplary dulcet
an em ma nant treasured
     valuable accouterment tummy life...
     YOU BET!
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