So you are at a party and are introduced as a poet. And everyone looks at you....

I'm a poet
Not an entertainer
So I depart this stage
And sit next to you
I will be close
Perhaps uncomfortably so
But in order for us to interact
You must be willing to think
Deeply
Perhaps painfully
About life
Or about yourself
And your situation
However it may be
Because when we part
You will be affected
Not by incredible showmanship
But by a quiet moment
You will be alone
With words
And though they are mine
They will soon become yours
Because you and I are the same
And as I draw you near
We will become one
Not as lovers
But as human beings
Who understand each other
Living together
With a feeling
Because you have become a poet too
And now I learn from you
And read as you write
And wish I could write as you do
But that was my intention all along
And I hope you remember me
As I depart your stage
To continue as I was
Before we met
But before you go
I must tell you something
You will think of me
And wonder about us
But I am only good for one thing
Lonely people
Because the way I live
Is within my own mind
And I reach those who want to be reached
But not those who want my attention

I don't have to go anywhere to know
Not anymore
I've often wondered
Am I on the wrong side of the sea?
Not if it means a mothers love is the same
Of all the places I've never been
The clouds still rain
And the skies cradle the sun and moon
Nobody knows how much I listen
My words are my ears
Then I know enough to have traveled far away
But I did it standing right here

I reached across the table and took her hand
She was stricken
“What are you doing?”
I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“But we work together!”
I said, “This isn’t a job interview”
“I know silly but you know what they say about office romances”
I said, “Should I just pretend I don’t care about you like that?”
“No but I don’t know how this is going to work”
I noticed she was still holding my hand
I asked, “Why do we have to worry how it’s going to end before it even starts?”
“Is that what you think I’m saying?”
I said, “Yes. Are you wondering if I’ll make a good husband?”
She blushed a bit at that
I said, “I’m not worried about all of that. I’m very simple-minded. I like you. That’s it.”
She said, “But somebody has to worry about these things.”
I said, “I don’t have a ring with me”
She said, “Oh god is that what you think of me? That I need a ring on the first date?”
I said, “It seems your mind does.”
She looked at me… I could see she was thinking it through
I asked, “Should I quit my job? Should you? Should I ask for the check and just forget it?”
She hesitated
I noticed she still was holding my hand but now she was rubbing it
She finally said with a sigh, “No…. ****… why am I so nervous about something that should be good?”
I said, “Maybe we should just leave and go home alone… then we’ll talk tomorrow.”
She said, “Ok… but you know I like you…”
I said, “Stop… don’t say it… let’s just go…”
As I turned out my light I received a text from her
I wonder what its going to say….

I hate what it is doing to us
The closer we get the hotter it becomes
The top of the mountain
Where freedom is promised
Continues to grow taller
While the path that leads us burns at our feet

I could drink it all away
But the path grabbed the bottle from my hand
It was my commitment
And yours too
We were friends because of the path
And now we can’t even talk about it

There is nothing left between us
They killed it with money
I love you as a brother
But the enterprise wins again
Like it always does
Because businessmen are not farmers

We felt the connection between us
The words and the music
And our fathers who were made in heaven
I can only speak to you in a dream now
Because you are as afraid as I am
We gave them our souls

it is not to understand my meaning
but to understand the point
it is not for you to receive
but instead to discover
possibility
for yourself
for as you see my path
it is not there for you to follow
but instead to suggest
to walk towards your own
where we will walk side by side
though we may part
and we may converge
but we will both know
we are the same
no matter
our differences
style
or culture
for we now understand meaning
and how to honor each other
so now i bow to you
my beautiful friend

Being lonely is a place I go
Quiet solitude to cleanse my soul
Needing an empty mind free of worry
The canvas for another story
Beginning my life anew
Shackled by my chosen hue
Images float through the air
Dancing together as I stare
Something unknown to me
Arrives as I struggle to see
Is it my life, a friend who tires?
Or my true self, an enemy that conspires?
My existence longing for inner peace
How long before it will cease?
Living on an island the calling siren
Dreaming about the human condition
Nothing gained for commerce
Everything lost to traverse
The valley of my own mind
Asking God that I find
The scent of life's secrets
Flowering in layered bouquets
Blossoming as I walk alone
Covering me, the stubborn stone

I don't want any pills
Or any bottles
If I can't feel the pain
Then I don't know where I stand
If it hurts
Then I want to know
Go ahead
Tell me
I'm man enough to hear it
And I'm man enough to take it
How do I know?
You told me long ago

There’s not a day goes by
That I wonder why love is not so easy to forget
You give everything you have
Then you walk away as if you never met
Even if it was my idea to leave
It's the life that I weave

You have new lines on your face
Telling a story that a stranger can only guess
But they have their own history
It’s different, still there’s something to confess
Even if it’s your need to deceive
It's the life that I weave

Time can make your life into a movie
You can watch anytime you want if want to
Every time I watch I learn all over again
But the end is always the same when it comes to you
Even if I have something new up my sleeve
It's the life that I weave

I always get out of bed
People think I’m strong but that’s all just talk
If it was true I’d find somebody new
But taking a chance seems to be such a long walk
Even if an excuse is what I believe
It's the life that I weave

Once when I was not so worldly
I was able to give time away like desert sands
Now I’m counting grains
I can’t believe a lifetime has passed through my hands
Even if I must continue to grieve
It's the life that I weave

Sometimes a mirage is real
And what I once gave away without remorse
Is now another way to live
I see the garden, if I could only change my course
Even if I know not what I receive
It's the life that I weave

She went west in her mind
The song she heard was the one I was playing
I didn’t have a nickel’s worth of answers
But it doesn’t matter if a smile understands what I’m saying
Even if love is a mystery we must conceive
It's the life that I weave

I wondered about what I know
Maybe my belief is just God in a different suit
A surprise without a plan is the plan
If you come to me you’ll see me eating the same fruit
Even if it is the one  I took from Eve
It's the life that I weave

I’ve been hit

This is it
I’m going to die
But I was lucky
It was just dirt that blinded me
And a bullet with its own dying gasp
But it hurt so bad
I thought about living
I couldn’t just walk away from it all
Then I realized I was ok
I wanted to live so badly
I finally realized the truth
I thought of my Mother
And my Dad
I got up
I had to live for them
And die for them too

Fear was no longer an issue

We say leave no Marine behind
But we also never leave courage behind
There is a way a Marine must live
And it was time to run
Forward
Up the hill
We had to take it
We jumped over potholes
Holes made by our jets
And our artillery
We just had to **** them all
We had bayonets
It was going to be ruthless
There was no time for anything but victory

There is nothing more desperate than hand to hand combat

While people were carrying signs
I was carrying a gun
While people were fighting the police
I was fighting a stranger
I had to **** a man I would never know
Or he would **** me
I kept thinking
This is it
But I kept running
And everyone was with me
Courage was everywhere
Politics didn’t matter
Morality didn’t matter
We just had to take the hill
And we did
Even after three days of no rations
The choppers brought them in
We thought they were going to take us out of there
But instead we were ordered to take the hill
We had to order people to die
I don’t know how I can forget this

I ordered my best man to die

He had to be the one
Because if he didn’t do it
We would all die
And now I carry that with me
Forever
When you look at me
Old
Wrinkled
Saluting
I’m thinking of him
That is why I am crying
And I will never forget
They say I’m a hero for freedom
But that day I was a warrior
And I didn’t think about freedom
I just thought about my guys
It was about us
Some of us survived
Others did not
But I am their memory
And today I remember the sign on the tree

“Was it worth it?"

Hey Christian state why do we perpetuate the hate?
We use tools of death to blow out the light of another man's breath
What about what we heard about people being murdered
From the one you represent with a celebration of Advent?
How can we follow him yet **** on the whim
Of powerful men who tell us what to do
It is clear that your peacemaker came to world to be a changer
Of the hearts of evil men to warn them of their sin
Yet we **** and **** never thinking of his will
That you pray be done in the name of the one
That you claim to worship while refusing the courtship
Of those who want peace bringing to earth a new lease
On life by allowing love to flourish instead we are seen to brandish
Other wordly weapons of destruction contributing to man's dysfunction
In his relationship with a higher power that has so clearly tried to shower
A message of love and peace yet our militaristic actions never cease
We want to go to heaven but our actions serve to unleaven
Our rise to a higher level of being blinded by lies the truth we are not seeing
I don't blame your patriotic thought you don't know what corruption has wrought
Over the years in a quest for power we want our enemies to cower
In the face of our national interest which conflicts with reality's firmest
Wish for mankind to come together and shed our fears of one another
Do you think God is only on our side someone is taking us for a ride
This supposed God is there for all even the man you desire to fall
I know it is confusing but there is no excusing
That the horror of it all is suppressed as we believe our cause is blessed
But the word was for all men, re-read the book you defend
It is clear what was meant don't try to circumvent
The Sermon on the Mount, Jesus brings the world to account
For actions that harms others so don't **** them, they are your brothers
You don't even have to believe in him or any other legend
To know the message is true yet so many speak but cannot do
It's time for a new day where our needs are not in the way
Of others who also want love from your supposed Lord above
If you believe he knows everything we do then it is not too late to start anew
Regardless of belief we must work with each other and not force them to run for cover
From bombs raining down from a nation wearing a crown
Of belief in the almighty causing Christianity to be unsightly
To others who wonder about us and how we can ignore Jesus
And his message of love and peace it is time for hostilities to cease

Well? Am I?
I'm asking you
I don't think I am
But I wonder if it's true
Is it?
Me?
I don't know why
But I may be
I don't hate
But do I judge?
Am I tired
Because "they" hold a grudge?
When I read about a crime
My minds fears loom
I see a color
Why do I assume?
How can I make it stop?
How can I be fair?
Teach me to see nothing
But hearts everywhere
When I wake
I see my color
I know I'm white
The same as my mother
I don't defend
My Father's culture
It makes me happy
But it's not my signature
Yet I see others
Defined by their race
I know why
They were put in their place
I want love
Not race
They want love
Not the color on my face
I do not want fear
It makes me weak
It makes me suspicious
When color walks the street
I know this
I'm telling you
Maybe you can see it in me
Maybe you know this too
I hate myself
When it rules my mind
I pray for relief
I want to be blind
Touch my eyes
With your heart
Give me color
Show me your art
I want to live
With open eyes
To love you
To hear your cries
Well?
Am I a racist?
I'm asking you
I insist
Tell me now
So I can grow
Tell me now
I need to know

The speed of life, faster than light
The sorrow of life, darker than night
The way of life, sinning in his sight
The fate of life, will it be wrong or right?

Death gets our attention because the human race lives under Damocles Sword; we know it is there but we are able to summon an inhuman level of denial about our mortality. It will always be a shock when someone dies; always to somebody. Then we move on and return to our world of delusion, chasing the fountain of youth.

In the case of Prince, it is the life he led that makes us notice his death that much more; to lose such a rare gift of creativity and true genius reminds us not only of what we had but of what we lost. We now see how he lived and contrast it with our own lives; and we realize there is so much a human being can do.

There are many others who are alive and walking among us. If you wish to honor them as if they just passed away then you have that opportunity but love is never greater than in the moment of loss. It is the human condition to not know what you have until it's gone. Tell someone you love them right now; do it for them, do it for you; do it for all of us.

I love you

And tonight I will be going alone to see Duran Duran and I'm going to enjoy them for the great times of the past and how this world still has joy in music; I'm going to receive it and hopefully pass it forward....

Heather lives outside the city a ways
Just like her mom and her mom before that
It’s the quiet life of long flat horizons
And everybody loves God just the same

Kaeja lives in the city
It’s not the nicest place to grow up
She’s older now than she knows
She’s poor but somebody gave her the blame

They both go to church
But are the reasons the same?
Is it about hope?
Is it about pain?
They both pray for the sun
They both pray for the rain
But though the pavement grows no flowers
There is no cross that is drawn in vain

Heather loved the smell when Daddy mowed
Kaeja painted the sidewalk green
They both love gospel music
They both love to sing
But filling a cup made of broken glass
Is like pretending paint is really grass

They had a thought about one another
White is night and black is day
That’s what they thought
Being apart turned their minds upside down
But one day they reached for the same carton of eggs
And their eyes met where Jesus scars bear no shame

Heather asked, "Do I know you?"
Kaeja said, "Yes, now you do"
She decided to give her the eggs
And Heather said, "No, they’re for you"
But they divided them up instead of buying two
And they said half of one is better than one you never knew

They both go to church
But are the reasons the same?
Is it about hope?
Is it about pain?
They both pray for the sun
They both pray for the rain
But though the pavement grows no flowers
There is no cross that is drawn in vain

is it true
that peace is only in the absence of war
is it true
that peace is only the sound of a locked door
is it true
that peace is only the time to reload a gun
is it true
that peace is only barren defeat under the sun
is it true
that peace is only a shadow behind a curtain
is it true
that peace is only getting high on a mountain
is it true
that peace is only while we plan our vengeance
is it true
that peace is only a word in a crying sentence
is it true
that peace is only living with our own kind
is it true
that peace is only a flower for a child to find
is it true
that peace is only for those whom we bury
is it true
that peace is only the burden God can carry
is it true
that peace is only for poets and old soldiers
is it true
that peace is only a word for dreamers
is it true
that peace is only for those who are kind
is it true
that peace is only for hearts that are blind
is it true
that peace is only a certain kind of maybe
is it true
that peace is only a mother and her baby

Walk without a sound
Though you carry a heavy burden
Speak in a whisper
So as not to disturb the garden
Decide with purpose
Though you may be uncertain
Open your heart
No life should suffer a curtain

It's already lost
Just raise your kids
It doesn't matter what they say
Unless history smiles at you this time
All they can do is move your feelings around
What's that done for you lately?
Try to love like you mean it
Somebody else's new right is not a crime

The ice
Beneath our feet
Is very thin
Our hearts
Are covered
By skin
We assume
The facade
Will hold
But the water
Below the ice
Is very cold
And the distance
Between life and death
Is very slight
The net
Beneath our lives
Is for black, brown and white
Life
Below the net
Is death
We walk
Watching the cracks
Measuring each step
We fly
Assuming the net
Is there
We fall
Much too fast
Into despair
Paycheck
To paycheck
A wing and a prayer
We smile
And laugh
As long as it’s there
Too small
And powerless
For a bail-out
The poor
Suffer through
A trickle-down drought
But I
Who has much
But not enough
Seemingly secure
With a full plate
Life’s not too tough
Yet fear
Lurks beneath
The surface
The thin line
Wraps my mind
Like a graceless necklace
Choking my emotions
As I look down
And see
The reality
While my children
Still believe
In me
The membrane
Between life and death
Unknowing my fears
In myself
And life’s short breath
As each day
I exist
For them
For their future
As adults
So they can begin
The cycle all over
And walk
The ice
As I did
Hoping they remember
My advice
To avoid the cracks
And not look down
And let fear
Rule their minds
Or their hearts
Instead drawing near
Strength
From whatever source
To live graciously
Towards those
Who fell
Unmercifully
Through the ice
Beneath their feet
And plunged
Into the dark
Cold
Expunged
From society’s
Conscience
And memory
Losers
With no redeeming
Quality
Except for in the minds
Of those
Who were taught
To love
To care
In every thought
Because
Their father's fears
Brought forth
A simple message
For a simple life
And what was worth
The worries
Or the pride
Or the mistrust
In life
In our leaders
And the unjust
Yes
They will peer
Through the ice
And feel the beating heart
Through the membrane
And will hold no vice
Against life
Or themselves
Or another
Knowing the cracks
Beneath their feet
Are not solely reserved for their brother

American soldiers
In black and white
But I saw red white and blue
They were sad
But they were brave
They loved their flag
But they loved each other more
They have a history
Of glory
And horror
We see the movies
We know of the destruction of tyranny
Today it seems our country is at war with itself
But for a moment in history
We came together
And defeated evil
We found the truth of Auschwitz
And we made the Germans bury the dead bodies
We made them walk down death row
Slowly in a solemn procession
So they could see what they had done
Their tears were frozen solid
From the cold of what they had ignored
The witness to this evil cannot accept an apology
He cannot forgive because he saw the devil’s eyes
And he knows there is no remorse
The dread of going back wakes him up at night
The only one who understands was killed in battle
Why did he not receive his own bullet of glory?
Mental illness gains no understanding for a veteran
Asking for help is not how a warrior wants to live
He wants the glory of battle and the strength of his victory
And yet he remains broken while we revel in our holiday
Can the ears of a man who walked in hells corridors hear you?
Can he ever smile again knowing the truth of freedoms cost?
And yet these old men are slowly dying
And our flag is not respected by all
The reasons for respect are being challenged
There is no emotional bond between fear and victory
Strangers do not kiss in the streets
The heroes are not welcomed home
And some question what we did
But not those buried in tombs of sacrifice
The do not have that luxury
For a man who sits passing judgment
Cannot know for whom he serves
Except the erosion of the national will
Yes it is good to love peace
And to let doves fly
But when it is time again
Whom will hear the bell
And whom will flee?
Maybe the soldier doesn't agree
He has seen it all
We assumed glory and honor was ours to keep
And asked our soldiers to fight again and again
Each time he lost his standing
Little by little
Because money became the God
And the soldier became the tool
People smile at the idea of his valor
But refuse to hear his tales of confusion
It is never easy to **** another man
No cause exists at the point of impact
But to honor a solider is to honor his memory
For when called upon he served
And now he calls upon you to listen
But is he being heard?

We want things to be easy
I look back on time and wonder
How could they be so strong
While we carry signs and grumble?

The world is a museum of invention
Yet we grow weaker each day
We have built our shelter
But our minds have gone astray

Once upon a time
A man looked to the West
He only needed freedom
And without he could never rest

His spirit arrived before him
With its silent call of courage
He never worried about time
In dust his dreams would forage

He didn’t know the words
Entitlement or welfare state
He had a horse and wagon
In the back rode his fate

He broke the hour glass
And kept moving on
No pause for help
Only his word to rely upon

No comfort in the cold
Or parsing words of nuance
Instead they tilled the land
And became men of renaissance

The pictures of old wise men
And words without a face
I wonder if they would laugh
At the state of the human race

A story teller of the past
Who lives on as we complain
An odd looking sort
By the name of Twain

Another painted a ceiling
While laying on his back
For years he toiled
With the artistry we lack

These are my heroes
Not a man screaming in the streets
Demanding more leisure
He is no better than the elites

They lived apart in distance and time
With years between shared utterances
They lived without going viral
Only hoping for history’s remembrances

As grown men show you their palms
Demanding them to be filled with coin
Every result to be guaranteed
The fruits of another to be purloined

Can you see what has happened?
Can you see the rising tide?
No man who makes demands
Can ever be denied

A politician’s waste
In the name of a good deed
Today we fired another
Tell me… where will it lead?

Who’s everyone talking to?
I thought by now true consciousness would transcend the me generation
The zero’s have already passed and we hide our minds behind our darting eyes
Each of us unto ourselves as creativity has been substituted for sampled reality boredom
Plastic sheets of electronic thought arrangement made to order
Recycled hero’s priced beyond the dreams of street urchins
Imagination unplugged as shock is delivered to your carpal tunnel fingers
Glancing at reality to measure the distance between metal before returning to civilizations ruins

Did you hear a word I said?
I told you that I love you
I told you about a problem that I had
But the scroll widened to the edges of attention deficit view

It's just as well that you didn't know what happened while you drank yourself into oblivion
Your addictions were planned in past decades by people who now buy islands
They laugh at how they made robots out of beating hearts
And you continue to let another ten years pass because the gun was taken from their hands
I wish my face to be in your hands
To see the excitement in your eyes as flesh and nerves are rediscovered
Maybe you can call me and I will answer as our fears are sheltered by a touch screen
And if our feet happen to collide we will see how the human touch is not to be wired

Another half full glass, loud talkin' times
My friends together, speaking in rhymes
Full of ourselves, wearing our pride
It's just another night when everybody lied

Times are good and life is great
My mind does not know its coming fate
Suddenly someone tells me "you need to see the view"
I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you

I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you
The colors of the sun framed what was so true
An angel from heaven appeared out of the blue
Now, I'll never stop, until you say I do

I stood alone not knowing what to do
Your eye I tried to catch with a long look at you
You seemed to notice me but in a fleeting way
All I could think was don't let her get away

My feet started walking, my mind was a mess
Your beauty all I see, covered by your dress
We are near each other, you have an expectation
I have your interest, no time for hesitation

I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you
The colors of the sun framed what was so true
An angel from heaven appeared out of the blue
Now, I'll never stop, until you say I do

Small talk drifts, panic setting in
I must keep her interest or she won't be my friend
Romance my want, your love for me only
My words are honest, you'll never be lonely

It seems my mind is what you admire
My words are setting your needs on fire
We can leave together or pledge to meet again
Now has come the time to let love in

You aren't just a moment
You are a lifetime
How can I win you over?
How can I make you mine?

I turned to see the sunset and all I saw was you
The colors of the sun framed what was so true
An angel from heaven appeared out of the blue
Now, I'll never stop, until you say I do

I thought to travel abroad again sometime
Even if only for a walk in a park inside a picture
I hope to see a man swing his umbrella
And maybe a military marching band

I don’t know why I should take so much time
I’ll probably see how a woman can love a man
She’ll walk up to him as he watches her silently
As she gets close she’ll softly hold his hand

It doesn’t take a trip to know these things
But it might make it seem less mysterious
A smile over two drinks says so much
Even in a language I cannot understand

I want to see if a swan would die to be free
Or if their graffiti understands an American ghetto
But really I wondered if anyone could fall in love
With someone who can see time as falling sand

I wonder if my dreams could fill a great hall
I once stood alone in front of The Night Watch
Who could trust someone with so much doubt?
But they could see why I was drawn to this land

A tulip in a crowd noticed me though I could not see
You did, but why did you make it so hard for me?
It seems beauty only makes love to wings of thorns
You believed in me once but now my heart is ******

tell me i'm weird
i will thank you for it
it means you will remember me
like i will remember you
for making me feel different
even if it makes me feel un com for table
like a serpent in your house
i know you want to **** me
but an assassin
or a deadly snake
is what you will remember
even if it's just words

I don’t want a domestic engineer
I don’t need to live off your career
Only the things I know and feel
But cannot say unless you are here

I don’t need more than two candles
And shadows on painted toed sandals
Only the things that a smile can feel
And never spoiled by doubting vandals

Every girl has a man waiting somewhere
That’s how she keeps her interest to herself
I’m gonna’ have to change her point of view
Instead of me she takes pictures of herself

I don’t want to just pass the time
I don’t want how are you I’m fine
Walk past me looking too busy
How can I unclutter your mind?

Every girl has a man waiting somewhere
That’s how she keeps her interest to herself
I’m gonna’ have to change her point of view
If she’ll just look up she’ll see something else

Creativity has its own life
Longing to be free
It's something I must do
Though you may never see

Do these words mean I'm crazy?
It may be that I am
I just let my feelings show
But control myself, I can

You moved into another place
Between casual and intense
It begs for some attention
I'm just trying to make some sense

How should I act around you?
What am I allowed to say?
Our lovers would not understand
And assume we will wander away

I want to be close to you
We have a connection
But life says no for us
So I must accept its rejection

I want to know you
It's clear for you to see
You can be my friend
Are you thinking of me?

Maybe I'm being presumptious
Something I need to be told
Are you just being polite?
Am I being too bold?

I've thought more than this
It's hidden from your view
I want to tell you what I think
But can I trust you?

I can be your confidant
Your secret's safe with me
You'll never have to wonder
If I'll reveal for all to see

My age a curse
Yet equally a blessing
I may be too old for you
But I'll never keep you guessing

I give everything I have
Yet never lose control
I am not unemotional
I let my feelings roll

I know who I am
And sadness is part of life
I can live within it
I will remove the knife

It's because I believe in me
Regardless of who says what
I am very strong inside
No matter how deep the cut

But your beauty cannot be ignored
Even though that is what's required
My fantasy world, unrequieted but alive
Focuses on you, something to be admired

It may be you are appalled
You didn't ask for this
You have chosen your path
And wish to follow your bliss

Confusing as it can be
It's obviously the wrong time
It doesn't help your life in any way
I'll never say you're mine

True as this may be
I still think you're great
But I will leave you alone
And accept my life's fate

In a different world we can thrive
Seeing through our mind's eye
It doesn't have to be about the flesh
We will never have to lie

It may be that close friendship
Spiced with coy flirtations
Is all that we will ever have
No matter our inner sensations

It is ok for you to know
That I think you are so attractive
I will continue on with my life
And not be so reactive

But if you need to confide
And tell me what you think
I will gladly lend an ear
From the cup of honesty we will drink

Do not be afraid of closeness
Outside of your spoken vows
You can reveal yourself to others
It can be managed with what life allows

But it's back to the reality
Of what it all means
I'll go back to my world
And see you in my dreams

For every time that I felt sadness and grief
I wondered why you couldn’t get over your own
A lady who walked alone thinking of her lost husband
Said I was destined to bury understanding with my bones

I heard a song that was unfamiliar to me
It was in a language that cried out to those who know
A man who once sang that very song to his children
Wondered if anyone would care about foreign tales of woe

I walked alone watching a young man
He felt the confidence that only ignorance can provide
But he mocked me with his very presence
I knew what I knew but still I felt old on the inside

But then the sun rose once again
And what it was came to me when I was awake
But I could not decide between sorrow or joy
Because the day had not yet come for God’s sake

I’m still waiting
I’m in one spot
Just one long note
Sustained
Looking for something
A place to go
But this one feels right
It seems as if it provides the answers
Maturity
Creativity
Availability
Longevity
Spontaneity
Re­liability
I know my spot so well
I can’t imagine any other
I can look back
And see the line
Traced upon experience
It seems as if it provides the needs
A roof
A job
A car
A bed
A breath of fresh air
There is nothing that I want
Or is that a lie?
Can it be that I want something?
Yes
I do
But who can give it to me?
Do you even know what it is that I want?
I know what it is
But there is nothing anybody can do
Except make me forget what I want
For a moment
That’s the problem
You cannot compete with what I want
You just can’t
And it’s not fair to you
So that is why I let you go
Because maybe you are what someone else wants
But what I want
Is not flesh
And it never will be again

On the one hand
     I am complete
But on the other
     I know I'm not

A forest is unaware of its beauty
Yet it never stops growing

On the one hand
     I am a mentor
But on the other  
     I'm never really sure

A teacher may never see the fruit
Yet he continues to plant

On the one hand
     I want love
But on the other
     I don't

The right one is almost not even there
But you are never alone

On the one hand
     I am a good father
But on the other
     I am not

They know that I love them
But I have my own life

I know you’re tryin’ hard to resist me
Or maybe it’s not so hard at all
I just know that you tempt me baby
And I’m tryin’ to make you fall

You need to quit thinking so much
And talking about one night stands
There’s always a first time for everything
And that’s not always where it ends

There’s always a first time
But it’s about to walk on past
We need to get things started
Even if it feels too fast
How can we know for sure
If tonight will be forever?
That’s what love is all about
The risk is part of the pleasure

You say no but you don’t walk away
You like to look and listen to what I say
Maybe it’s only what your ego wants to hear
I’ll be around until someone else draws me near

There’s always a first time
But it’s about to walk on past
We need to get things started
Even if it feels too fast
How can we know for sure
If tonight will be forever?
That’s what love is all about
The risk is part of the pleasure

She thought
I won’t read anymore
I only want to write about it
I won’t hear anymore
I only want to talk about it

The things she once knew
Were only in her dreams
Though a young boy spoke to her once
He said, “You are young, your beauty reigns, the equal of Kings!”
But she knew even Kings are scorned by those who are not chosen

Everything she knew and remembered was flat beneath her feet
She would not walk away but instead would always walk upon it

It stared back up at her
Like a mirror of her life
That was the way she remembered best
Like her dreams
The way the children would play
And though the boys threw rocks
She knew it was because they didn’t know how to talk to a girl
It made her smile now
Though it made her cry then

The smoke was lighter than air
And the sky could no longer speak of tomorrow
That is why she chose to look down at her feet
The war hadn’t reached inside her shoes yet
Her shoes looked lovely she thought
How long would they last?

She took them off and carefully laid them on the dirt
And she thought of them walking away
She bought them because of a certain boy
She didn’t know his name
He excited her
He read from the book like we was listening to his father
He spoke of their country as if it were his mother
But he was gone now
He spoke while she watched with others
The smoke followed his life
While the street kept his memory
Underneath her feet
Along with her childhood
And she wondered if the war would lie down beneath her feet
And show her what it did to that boy

And who would dare complain
Without a flood from heaven
Separating us from sin
Knowing some will be lost
Never to see their God again?

And who would dare complain
Without indigenous tribes
Chased by the cruelest of men
Armed with manifest destiny
Ready to take their land?

And who would dare complain
Without bombs raining down
Immoral and ruthless
Serving the ambitions of those
Living inside a fortress?

And who would dare complain
Without starving first
Walking the streets alone
Carrying a sign of mercy
Only to be blamed or ******?

And who would dare complain
Without wearing chains
Feeling the whip crack
Knowing the next day
The master will be back?

And who would dare complain
Without immortality mocking
From a grave already waiting
Because they were not buried
With those God would be taking?

my eyes want you
but you already know
my arms want you
from inside my heart they flow
bringing you closer to me
where a sound muffled by your shadow
is fighting a war against a memory
i am not the one who love may owe
i am not the one who love may forgive
but i am the one whose heart tires of saying no

Occupyin' Blues
Today we made the news
They told us to go
Nothin' sleepin' on concrete can grow

It’s their tea
So don’t take it
The ones who got nothing
Want someone to share it
Where they sit
No matter
The whole thing
Will just get swept
Under another rug

The limo’s are full
Of unrepentant braces
Full of themselves
Throwing dimes at the faces
Of the poor
But they’ll be back
And take that too
Because the money
Is for them
And not for me
And not for you

Occupyin' Blues
Today we made the news
They told us to go
Nothin' sleepin' on concrete can grow

They think it’s over
You got your rights
So why you complainin’
It was better
When they were sayin’
You was a lazy good for nothing
Now they think it’s fixed
You see yourself
In a big White House
But it’s no big thing
To them

There’s no hoses or whips
Instead you get pink slips
Maybe it’s better now
Instead of stringin’
They just singin’
That song about boot straps
And all
So it’s just words
They don’t hurt
Do they?

Occupyin' Blues
Today we made the news
They told us to go
Nothin' sleepin' on concrete can grow

There’s a problem though
Some of the complainin’
By folks who were never livin'
On the streets like poor folk
It's getting’ a little close to home
‘Cause they look like them
Acted like them
Except now they’re not
And they’re sweatin’
‘Cause they know the game

But there’s no guiltin’
No remorsin’
About lootin’
Or pollutin’
No sir
They might be pausin’
‘Cause your causin’
Some kind of ruckus
But they’ll be back to schemin’
And you’ll be dreamin’
‘Bout the time you thought
You was somthin’
On the streets
Protestin’
And occupyin’
While the police was arrestin’
The gutter rats for nothin’
But exercisin’
Their rights to be assemblin’
It's right there
In the Constitution
Or so they were sayin’

Occupyin' Blues
Today we made the news
They told us to go
Nothin' sleepin' on concrete can grow


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

Laying prone next to death which may or may not be my neighbor; knowing that nothing I remember will save me; knowledge, useless knowledge, a required accompaniment to my carefully selected claret smiling with assurance as I infringe upon their right to object to the depths of my retort.

A wrinkled sheet ignored but useful in its random spread across my torso draws the sweat from my pores as I save the planet from my presence while the restlessness of unmerciful insomnia instills a quiet uselessness to my thoughts which I egocentrically assume will yield prose worthy of public display.

As the knowing is swallowed whole, as the last hardened cheese ******* on a plate, it becomes relevant to believe in anything unproven as further observed phenomena is no more or less a sequel to a play yet to be understood by genius or idiocy whose consciousness rival one another in their need to be loved by a suffering mother.

The bullet crosses the boundary between dream and threat into an assumed position of relevance in every step I take towards a repetitive life filtered only by the need for a decision; unhappy with or without; each the same yet held aloft by the delusion of a chance encounter with a heart I will use but never protect.

If he should ask of my willingness
What would I say that Peter had not already heard?
For my sword is not what will save mankind
If I should hunger because of my weakness
Would I steal from my neighbor to feed my children
When twelve baskets fed the blind?
If my fears become stronger than forgiveness
Would I listen to a man who commands me to ****
And hammer nails into the cross left behind?
If he should ask me to be his witness
Would I testify of the sins waged by other men
Or the ones that that my own life would remind?

Never had it been of the application of force between
interludes of terrible waiting that getting on with hostilities
was more calming than the imagination of the horrors
that lay ahead

The initial wave knew the sacrifice would be written about
until the heavens decided that history was full enough of
our failures, shaking loose its detachment from the fate of
its hapless creation

They were led by men who could be counted on to exhort
them with words as to their duty; to be told of the good
hunting to come, but to men who had no fantasies of their
own, words only fabricate a hero

There was no marksmanship or survival skill that could
shield a man fated to crush the spirit inside the prayers
uttered by his mother; there was no training that could
prepare him for life or judgment day

And yet those whom absolution abandoned to their own
devices had fallen in love with their conquerors only to
weep bitterly as the beachcombers liberated them from
their supposed occupation

It made them wonder of the desperation that was
stronger than hope; about how a woman could fall in
love with the eyes of the enemy; and how the enemy
could have a heart for love

But his witness of human nature amidst the horrors
of despots would remain in abeyance until the fears of a
common man had met courage in the moment he realized
how mankind could never love him as does a God

He wondered if he would be different; would he be death
unable to laugh or understand a broken nail; would he be
able to believe in men; would he be able to love someone
when he knew his heart was left behind?

I want to love you with all my heart
But you are not the reason it exists
It is there to give you love
But I am the source of that love
And the blood that is made
Is the blood you cannot see
Except in my tears
Absent of color
Absent of you
But I will live on
For the heart that is mine still beats inside of me

In a dream
I see myself
As you see me
When I awaken
And lose all sanity
As I always do
I ask you
To tell me
What I am about
But I only hear you
When my eyes are closed
Will it ever matter?

In your pain
While I ignore you
You see so clearly
As I sleep
I feel
Finally
What you feel
And it hurts
In my sorrow
I beg for the dream
To stop being so unkind
Will it ever end?

In the same game
I remain as I am
Like yesterday
I walk in the crowd
And remember
Clearly
How you came to me
In the night
And became the dream
That lifted the veil
Revealing what I already knew
Will I ever change?*



All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona

The sheep walk the fields
Unaware of their impending doom
Rustled by a barking dog
Swept along like dust on a broom
Slowly walking in a dreamy haze
The sun provides a moment's respite
Happiness masks tomorrow’s uncertainty
Oblivious they know not to be desperate
A banquet at their feet
Digesting their way through life
Swirling, ritualistic endeavors
Instinctive, unthinking actions are rife
Dancing on a precious patch
Herded, prodded, shoved
Head down for the moment
Do they know they are unloved?
A symbol of inevitability
I watch with idle curiosity
What is the point of this?
Other than to inspire verbosity?
Are we worthy of their death?
Or their aimless existence?
As I walk away to another duty
The answers are whispered in the distance…

My eyes are the same
So is my smile
They are mine
And they know me well
If you wish
You will find me in there
Far beyond the gates of imagery
Where no streak can penetrate my face
For tears cannot blemish a stone
Nor plow a field where there is no soil

I’m not a revolutionary
I’m too comfortable for all of that
I’ve never witnessed the horror that creates outrage
I’ve never felt the outrage that creates courage
I only can think of myself
And my plans
How can I give my life for strangers
And give up a father for my children?
And because of this
I stand where deeps lakes are drained
Shallow and empty

It is almost too late to change
I read books and wait for my reaction
I ignore what is primary as ignorance lives in haste
I am being counted on to defend the past
But the revolution was justified
Yet I can only assume that what is true
Was true
And what was being fought for
Was not God’s command
But instead what man sought to command for himself
And when he chose to live for his people
They killed him
Because the truth must die in this place
And he wore no make-up
For the glory of man will never be given to an imposter

You have allowed man to portion your purpose,
the measure limited by what can be sold;
physical beauty,
frivolous distraction,
for love of life has become love of acceptance

But who would love you that would rob you;
of your dignity,
of your life,
of your soul,
except those who do not know how to love

Remove the fears that make your eyes eager,
to please,
to die,
to give up what it is that you were meant to be

They take what cannot be given,
to you,
by man,
for their own glory,
or else they would

Stand naked if you must,
stand alone if you trust what I'm saying,
and if you cannot,
then I pray that one day the life you should be,
will come,
and what comes undone,
is what they have become

But it is you who must decide what to live up to

One day I’m going to do it
I’m going to be truly free
I may be too old to even know
But in my mind I will see
I will see everything I ever believed
And I wonder if I will laugh or cry
Because I will be what I never was
And I will know how it is to not know why
I like to flash forward and over-expose my dream
I want to see what a distorted world it might be
In each frame the truth and the fiction alternate
As it speeds up you’ll not know if it’s you or if it’s me
I can think of every mass I ever attended
And how my Father made me stand straight
Or I can think about how stupid I was
When I told someone about their coming fate
But an old man who embarrasses his children
Is not something to aspire to become
But how can I avenge myself against those who I slaved for
If I don’t grow a beard and drink too much ***?
I want a statue on the shore of every eroded dream
I want one facing the north, the west and to the east
But ne’er the south for that is which way the wind came
A freeman must point to that which he knows least
Oh what exaggeration could I tell as the film snaps in my mind?
What words other than these in my hand could shock and awe?
How telling to desire the odd look of bemused judgment from another
For to not care of anyone or anything is the mark of freedom’s call
Yes freedom… and yet how many cannot accept a free man?
How many wish to tell me exactly what I should say, do or wear?
Can a man imprisoned in his own mind lock the door to mine?
Can an escapee be held by someone armed with mere prayer?
In what natural state of light flickered by God’s whims must I seek?
For the reel to reel that comes to my dreams can only be spliced by hope
And even if tomorrow which is all I live for never arrives
I already know what I want to be is what I am as I remove society’s rope

There is no seed that knows its
purpose; there is no warning of
a drought or a deluge; nature
must accept side-effects as part
of the will to live; the hands that
would cultivate the soil around
it are the intention of  its fate;
earth worms wait for unborn
roots to decay making their blind
existence worth the space within
which a fisher who lives on bread
alone strikes his ***** near; as
sprouts appear the surface only
welcomes them with callous
indifference because what already
lives has been scarred by nails
that have rusted by a story of
either true suffering or one of
failure to accept that there is no
man who does not all at once
meet the moment of judgment
by those who found the hammer
first; but now to survive in a forest
eager to avenge fires set by elements
that perished long ago it is a matter
of rejecting all pretense of the name
on the instructions for growth; it is
necessary to love every creature
no matter their natural state or else
perish under the guise of all that is
good; when in the course that a
monster must be defeated by an
equal or greater monster it is
then no longer a world that
remembers its intention; instead
it becomes a world that has
decided the garden is no longer
for comfort but instead for the
wood of spears, the pollen for
poison and the soil for burial;
for no man who began buried
next to death can live when
death becomes the reward for
being free

Young man
Where is your voice?
The world awaits
You have no choice
Don't look back in awe
It's time to lead
I want to know
How strong is your creed?

Why do you seem so tired?
You lost your breath
Why do you crawl?
Take your first step
You've just been born
Open your eyes
Help us my child
Show us the lies

The world is decaying
And you along with it
I'm tired of praying
Are you complicit?

Are you awake
Or do you even know you sleep?
You won't risk your day
You let laziness creep
Deaf, dumb and blind
Is fear your ale?
Come forth
Let your anguish wail

Your legacy is so full
Of youthful protest and rage
When they die off
Who will turn the page?
Faint to your mind
Because you won't look
It's not about Old Glory
Please read a history book

The world is decaying
And you along with it
I'm tired of praying
Must I be explicit?

I know what you're thinking
Why try? What for?
So worldly you'd rather be
A ****** being like children before
You think you've come of age
Because nothing's pure
True insight eludes
Yet you seem so sure

Look at me
Old, tired and cynical
Searching for something
So true, so lyrical
I continue to lift my pen
Making my anger rhyme
While you embrace leisure
Letting it rot your mind

The world is decaying
And you along with it
I'm tired of praying
When will you get with it?

Tomorrow has become something else
Last week, last month, last year
But anger is the chord and action the melody
And this you refuse to hear
You borrow my nostalgia
And believe it's happening to you
Become the new voice
Lead  us on through

Where are you my child?
The world needs you now!
I'm dying with my memory
It is your turn to face the enemy

how easy it is to pretend
that they would never feel the things we do
that they are so different from us

Do they look out the window as the past disappears
Are the words of poets more meaningful to them
Is freedom for the soul or for God
Who could know what is right

how easy to assume we will ascend
that we are forgiven while treating them cruel
that they are a race to distrust

What in their life accuses them of being in contempt
Is it outside God’s ability to control the message
Is freedom about fear or disobedience
Who could know what is wrong

how we try to dignify the end
they cover the bodies we expose like fools
but we both begin with a single cut

Is it what our parents taught us that we trust
Rebellion is only the ignorance of our youth
There is no world to possess
Only the moment to make them cry

There is so much anger
But I don't know why
For what I have become
Is what I cannot deny

If I am a man
It is in spite of me
If I am a man
It is because of me

No color No preference
No belief No difference

Nothing in my way
That is their life
I walk my own path
I make my own strife

I cannot believe what I see
In the hate among men
For what were we taught
Except to give unto them?

It is the craziest of minds that cannot sleep

It tries to forget
To write of it is madness
But still it does
It tries not to see
To draw of it is madness
But still it does

There is no rationale for remembrance

It tries not to feel
To love it is madness
But still it does
It tries not to desire
To touch it is madness
But still it does

It is the destruction of the standards of dignity

It tries poise
To cry is madness
But still it does
It tries life
To **** itself is madness
But still it does

It is the craziest of minds that hurts itself

It tries to accept
To reject is madness
But still it does
It tries to conform
To deviate is madness
But still it does

Man’s law
Hell on Earth
Suffering and death

God’s law
Hell on Earth
Suffering, death THEN retribution

Don’t ask me
I don’t give a **** anymore…..

We awaken with our heart in the hands of another
Our love is what everyone dreams about
It's how a true love affair should be
Now is the time to leave behind all doubt

But where is the mystery that so many cultivate?
We never hold back the true love we feel
Some may say we are revealing too much
But how can we share the joy that is so real?

Why must I wonder about these things?
Must we be afraid to open ourselves so?
It seems the secret to a true love affair
Is to always let our love flow

I'm not looking to live a life of clues
Wondering about who you are and what you do
I want a life of harmony and absolute belief
In the love of another and knowing it is true

Our insecurities will provide enough mystery
Even in the face of words of assurance
We will always harbor the fear of loss and pain
There is no need to cultivate games of adolescence

There will be mystery enough as we age
The years will add depth to us along the way
We will look forward to the growth in one another
As long as we allow each other to bloom each day

An ambience exists of free flowing love
Our doubts and fears are washed away
To be mollified, tempered and subdued
So that our true feelings never run astray

I will risk everything to remain open to you
Even though we live with little hint of wonder
I don't want to guess who you are or what you want
Only the assurance that no man will tear us asunder

I have one last dream to die for
But that is for my soul to decide
My eyes can no longer see light
I’m no longer in over my head
I’m beneath the life I once knew

As for someone kneeling on Sunday
Or a Rasta pushing a baby carriage
Can you imagine being judged?
I can only plead my case
I will know very soon what is true

Closer to the fire
Don't burn me before he decides
I want to know if he really means it
When he says I am the light

I have actually found God
While all you can do is believe
And it seems he knows everything
There is nothing I can say
My prayers are all I can point to

I want a tombstone with my name
My children can bring me flowers
Maybe they can save me
From the fire that is burning close
To the heart that sinned for you

Closer to the fire
Don't burn me before he decides
I want to know if he really means it
When he says I am the light