Sometimes, when we allow distance,
We can see the bigger picture much clearer.

The more I convince myself
That you’re not interested in me
The more I realize how genuine
My feelings actually are.
I thought I was clogged up
In overriding infatuation
But it appears that underneath it,
Something humble was growing.
The more I distance myself
From the thought of there being an us,
The clearer I see that
You are much more than just a crush.

And with that being said,
I’m sorry I treated you as only such.

My butterflies have been set free
Yet still they linger and rest upon me,
As they can't help but watch in awe
As in my surrender, I still fall in love.
Giving up is the hardest thing to do,
Especially when it means I have to lose you.

I find no comfort in simple words,
I’ve heard too many lies for that.
Even actions I always question
For ulterior motives always act.
Say you love me, let me feel it;
It’s a challenge, I understand.
But let me know I’m worth it
For real love should withstand
All obstacles—wipe my tears,
Heal my pain, make me whole
When I’m incomplete—yet
With you, my hungry soul
Is empty, parched, in need
Of something genuine at last.
Please, I can’t help but believe
Our future’s in my past.
I fear we may have turned,
In our hesitation, obsolete,
What will it take for you
To feed me something concrete?

If I had died when I planned to,
Would you still have kissed her?
Would you still have moved on
As my memory began to wither?
Just two days after I chose not to,
She was wrapped in your arms tight
And I wonder if you’d still smile
Like that had I taken my own life.
Then there’s always you,
The one that warms my heart,
Would you have even noticed
If I never came back around?
We only speak in shy conversation,
I’m sure had you heard the news
You would’ve just been surprised,
Not hurt, just a little bit confused.
The girl I sit next to in class
Would have thought I simply dropped
And the boy who asked to see my notes
Would easily forget we ever talked.
My favorite regular customer would
Probably assume I quit without goodbye
And no one would ever believe that
Each smile I shared was a bold-faced lie.
I wonder if the boy who likes to flirt
And call me pretty would still think so
When he’d hear the news and think
Of my lifeless body, or perhaps my ghost.
I’m sure my parents would miss me and
It pains me to think they’d feel blame,
For I give them all the credit that
I’ve hung around this long anyway.
I am already just a dying spirit, imprisoned
In bones, wrapped tight in skin and tissue,
I suppose I’ll stick around, because in my absence,
You wouldn’t notice, but I’d still miss you.