I feel as if I am on a Ferris wheel
constantly up and down
wishing I could get off but all the things
I do put me right back where I am

As I was  growing up I would have these moments
the eyes of the hurricane if you will
when after coming home crying about how the mean girls called me ugly
my dad would play music and drive
and i just remember that peace  
and the withdrawal from this peace
is like being stabbed in the chest

I say I'm tired or I'm just tired
more then hundreds of times a day
but I could sleep for thousands of hours and still feel this way

I say I forgot you, moved on
Then why is it that when I'm even in a room
with you
All I see is you
where you are
who with
yea but I forgot you
right ?

maybe each life is just an echo
of the ones that came before,
bouncing off the things they learnt
to land on something more.
maybe it's never ending
and our sound just travels on,
with distance it gets quiet
but is never truly gone.
maybe we will find peace in our silence
when our time comes still,
And know our voice can't go forever
but the truth it carries will

Someone
asked me if I
knew you
             A million
memories flashed
through my mind
but I just smiled and said I used to

I am trying to write a poem
something to explain
what I have failed to recognize or discover
To use that poem as a instruction
A reason
But I write a different poem
With the feelings of a stranger
with closed eyes to myself
No explanation
NO discovery
NO directions
and not one putrid reason
so I ask
who is writing this poem
who is pouring words on the keyboard like water out of a faucet
but not even touching the water
It is the stranger
The person when I am closing my eyes
but still looking
I will shut my eyes and it looks like a black curtain falls
but the act is behind the curtain

I want to be
Up
Because being sad
Is down
Nobody will be truly happy
Up,
Because the depression of gravity
Who
Knows why the gravity is
upset
But no one
Knows if it will ever be what it was

Scarlet washes the water of translucency of feeling
Scarlet makes the numb feel
Scarlet infers you have the control
Scarlet may be a accident or the purpose
Scarlet can be a red haring of life
Scarlet can also be a start of a new reliability
But dare you not scarlet is inside along with other feelings