"It's too early to be in love", They said.
But since when did love have a limit,
When was it decided that you had to spend a certain length of time with someone,
Before you could love them?

Why do I have to be with someone for months before I can say I love them?
Why do I have to be with someone for months before I am allowed to stay up late at night thinking about them?

I said I loved you from day one.
I flat out told you I was falling in love with you.
I lost sleep over you before we were even together.

Love has no time limit.
Love is how you feel.
Love is not limited to a number of months.
Love is limitless.

Your lips pressed softly to mine,
and I swear to god the world stopped.
My heart beat faster,
and my mind went blank.

Months later,
Your hands traced the curve of my back,
and it caused shivers up my spine.
My heart skipped a beat,
and my mind was flooded with thoughts of you.

You held my hand everywhere we went,
and I knew that I was in love.
My heart swelled with happiness,
and my mind couldn't focus on anything but you.

You held me when we watched films,
and I began to crave your arms around me.
My heart longed for you,
and my mind thought of nothing but being in your arms.

You have my heart in your hands,
and have taken over my mind.

I stand in shower,
rubbing at my skin trying to rid myself of your touch.
If I could,
I'd shed my skin all together.

It's been years and I can still remember the fear in my heart when I woke up
You took my sleeping as silent consent
Even though I was only 9.

I thought for so long that it was my fault.
I fear every man I meet,
I worry that he'll be just like you.

I still have nights where I worry that
You'll wake me up again.

I feel so used
So worthless,
and you ruined by life.

I stopped caring about my body,
I let others use me,
I let others treat me like trash
Because I felt like I was.

I stopped eating
and started to hurt myself in order to feel.

I still hate my body
and I still remember what places you touched
Where the bruises were.

You Ruined My Life

And I can't sleep at night anymore because I swear to god the sheets still smell like you even though I bought new ones last week.
My mind is burns with the memory of your eyes when you used to look at me, and say you loved me.
Your smile was so lovely, just like those lies you told me when we would lay in the darkness.

It's 1:24 am on a Tuesday, and I haven't stopped smiling. Even 287 miles away,
You make me happier than anything ever has. And I know that love has no distance,
because it's been almost a month since the last time I saw you and I have stayed up every night thinking about you and I swear to god everyday I find one more little thing I love about you and I fall more in love with you.
I am laying here thinking about all the ways to tell you I love you and all the ways I can show you. I'm thinking about our first kiss and the first time I realized I was in love with you. I'm thinking of the first time I got to sleep in your arms and all the times you made me so happy I cried. I love you so much and this is so hard because I see my friends with the people they love and all I can do is send you a text saying I love you but I won't even say I miss you because I am scared you'll think I am not okay with waiting and if I lost you now, I'd be so ruined. But I miss you so much and it is so hard to wait but it'd be so much harder if I just never saw you again. If all these memories turned into bitter ones and if I had to go from thinking your name and smiling to trying to drown you from my mind with whatever worked, I wouldn't be able to smile anymore. All those cheesy love songs that make me think about you or those ****** love poems I wrote about you would just make me hate myself because I lost the only person who was able to make me happy. I never thought I could miss someone this much, and oh my god, it hurts so bad and sometimes I can't sleep at night because my bed feels so empty and cold without you here to hold me in it, but I'd never give this up. I'd wait another month, hell I'd wait a year if I had to because I swear to god that you're the one and I'd have to be an idiot to give someone as amazing as you up.