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I watch the ceiling change from black to grey to a pale yellow as the morning comes
I've barely slept I can't close my eyes
She sleeps soundly to my left
My baby dozing on my right
Her boyfriend is as restless as I
Awake
He ***** me with his eyes
She stirs, he says "I love you" but is staring at me
She drowsely kisses his cheek, he bites my wrist
Thud thud thud in my veins
The pulsing in his lust
I can only close my eyes and pray the beast finds rest soon
They are always hungry those sleeping beasts
I'm cold
But I still care
I'm distant
But I wish you were here
My head and my heart don't go hand in hand
Unless that hand is strangling the other in demand
I'm hurting too but don't pity me
I need this, I know it, you know it, someday we'll see
If I get better and you do too
Maybe there's peace in this life again for me and you
All over the place but finally going somewhere
Dont get hooked.
Im addictive,
Dont take too much.
Im toxic,
Dont use  me often.
Im abrasive,

Dont fall to hard.
Ill catch you,
Im the worst  habit  because  ill make a habbit of you
I wish I could believe it when you say I'm an angel
I know you love me, you and everyone else
Looking to me like some kind of a guide to raise you from perdition
But I'm only in it for myself
Because I love every man, woman and creature the same
And you are just another heart to break in my midst
I am no Angel I'm just a person
Like you
Only different
I've found myself and people like you are drawn to that
My confidence my style my originality my abundant need to help
But I'm a curse not a blessing
I am no good
I'm scared to death that my wings are being clipped
While I tend to the weak
Plucking a feather for each of the fallen
A sad attempt of trying to save someone else
Forgetting myself
Being torn apart
It’s difficult to dance when our legs are dark with bruises.
We can’t remember love if we make love to our excuses.
Bathing bare and naked in our ignorance and pride,
The toxic water poisons us, and plagues us with divide.

The truth about our childhood is that it must decay.
January must expire to thaw the ice for May.
The soldiers have no more to eat; they beg to end the war.
They question if their covenant is one worth fighting for,

Yet still we drink the poison,
Yet still we dance away.
We desperately so wish to love,
But know I cannot stay.

Tell me how we built this home,
Lest that we forget,
Because after the fires, the floods, the pain,
You’re all that I have left.
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