It's always right about now
That all the suitors leave
They stand in a line
With advertisements of
"Eternal love"
And
"I think you're beautiful"
But they all leave
After the beauty
Showed them the beast

Poetry is the passion to my life
Work is just a side gig
To keep the mechanics going

The tick of the clock
And the thump of the heart
And the chirp of the bird
And the clap of the hand
And the breath of the lungs
And all the things that make me feel
Wrapped up in five senses

(Read from top to bottom and vice versa ~ a reverse poem)

It's the End
I don't know what to think
The unknown fears that lie
Beyond that chasm
I jump
To something more hopeful
Something worth living for
The Middle
The great bridge
I enter
Upon a grove of trees
With light glittering through the leaves
It's serene
Beautiful
Here in these strange woods
I have found
The Beginning

You're standing there
In a fitted navy polo
With a slight smile on your face
And dulled humor
My eyes take a snapshot
And add this photo
To the polaroids lining the wall
Of my mind

It is the last photo I have of you
Before you leave

She whispers a truth
Into the silent air
Past the raging mountains
Through the badger's hole
Around the Redwood trees
To the not-yet-hatched birds
Under the bustling city
Until this truth has penetrated
Every crevice of this earth
And with one breath
She utters the words
"I am alive."

He knocks
                                                          ­                                        She is hesitant
He hums a melody
                                                          ­    She peers through the hole to look
He smiles
                                                          ­                                               She smiles
He tilts his head like a puppy
                                                           ­                                             She laughs
He stands calmly
                                                          ­                     She creeks open the door
He holds out his palms
                                                           ­                          She sees they are bare
He looks at her
                                                             ­                                 She looks at him
He allows her the time she needs
                                                           ­                              She is grateful for it
He waits patiently
                                                       ­                                           She is nervous
He says nothing
                                                         ­                                         She is shaking
He sheds a tear
                                                            ­                                         She is crying
He knows exactly why
                                                             ­                              She shuts the door
He waits outside like the loyal puppy he is
                                                              ­     She leaves a rose while he sleeps

For even though her chamber had been violated before
By hands tainted with lust
This new loyal companion never forces
Never asks
Only respects
And waits patiently
Outside the doors to her sacred chamber

Even if she never opened the door
He would wait outside for an eternity
Because he loves her
With an undying loyalty

With a pen in her hand
She is ready to put her heart on the page
But no words come
For they had been stolen
Before she could even write

I lie awake in my bed
With eyes blood shot
From a night of tears
And it's in moments like these
Where I wish you were here

My friend sits across from me
In some cafe I don't know the name of
Her demeanor remains confident
She's poised
Elegant
And gives me the smile
That has stolen too many hearts
She talks about her life
As if it was painted by an artist
But in those sky-blue eyes
You can see a shimmer
Of what looks like a tear
But no tears are shed
And she laughs it off
But I know behind that smile
She's breaking

You said you felt safe
Cradled in my arms
I didn't want to let you go
Because I was afraid
That your demons were lurking
Right outside the door
And darling
I would love nothing more
Than to **** them for you

Was I expendable to you?
You molded me
overused me
and now you've thrown me away.
You think your actions
are merely a ripple
in a pond.
But in reality
you are a storm
in the sea.
You left chaos in your path
and now I'm stuck
cleaning up the mess.

It is your inherit right
To have a love
That breaches beyond the bounds of death
And cradles you like the stars do the moon

My family asks why I keep them at a distance
And I tell them
That every time I open my heart
They shroud it in black dust
From the cruelty of their words
Words from good intentions gone wrong
Wrongful actions
Disguised as "I did this for you."
"And I am your mother."
A mother's love
I know is there
Somewhere
But it just breaks my heart
To know
I have found more safety
In the harbor of a stranger's home
Than in my own family's docks

I was so hesitant
Like a newly hatched bird
Ready for the jump
But I did not do it
Instead I stayed closer to the nest
Where it was comfortable
Where I could watch
But the more I watched you
Flying around in the sky
Coercing me to come forward
Just a little more
I wanted to know the dance
That you danced so well
So with the courage of a broken heart
I lept

He catches the eye
Only for a linger
And not a stare

But he catches the heart
Like a falling star
You only see once
But it is enough to make you lock the door
And throw away the key

He is
Collected
He is
Funny
He is
A natural wit
He is
Quirky
He is
Respectful
He is
A gentleman
He is
Engaging
He is
Acknowledging
He is
Spiritual
He is
Smart
He is
Proactive
He is
Responsible
He is
Entertaining
He is
Someone you can stay up until 3 am with
He is
Someone you can have endless laughs with
He is
A boy who has seamlessly walked into my life
And I am incredibly grateful for it

If someone's got a problem with me
They can stand by and watch
They can even bark a few words
But girl
You best be knowing imma walk past em'
Because I am on my own runway show
And don't have time to stop
For those with bad fashion taste

In response to a,
"How are you doing?"
I beamed the brightest smile
And responded with a,
"Good."
But I was not good,
Nor bad
Nor fine
Nor any manner of redundant emotions
But I was lonely
Despite the friends
The family
The boy
And it stirred up a flame of anger in my heart.
How could I be lonely
When I did not deserve it?
In an attempt to fan the flames
I texted
I called
I talked
And did everything I could
To shun the feeling
That is loneliness
But what I did not realize
Is that at this moment in time
On this day
In this hour
I was meant to feel lonely
Loneliness was meant to enter into the home of my heart
And that is okay
So next time he comes along
I am going to open the door
Pull out a chair
Grab him some tea
And abide with him for a moment
Because as crazy as it sounds
Loneliness makes me feel
A little less lonely

I never knew such intimacy
Could be felt in a shared laugh
Or stories shared
Act as glue
Binding our souls
Ever so closer together

Hands clasped over your eyes
Wet rivers of red seep down your face
You are covered in the stains of your tears
But I do not care
Not one bit
So I remove your hands from your face
Grab a clean rag
And wipe away the pain
I clean your clothes
And put you in something
Not marred by the stains of your hurt
So when I say that I want to care for you
Hold you
Help you
Know that I mean it

It was one breath
One step
One long free fall
Back to Earth
But I feel alive again

She dreams in bright places
But lives in the dark
Her life is a blanket of shadow
But at night she always turns on the light

"Good morning,"
He whispers to me
And every morning after that

There are words
Barred behind gates
That have been shut for too long
And wrapped in your arms
On a hand-me-down bed
I feel the gates crumbling
And the three words
I love you in my ear

I fall through a chasm of cracks
Deeper into the depths of something
So treacherous and so fantastic
My breath is halted
And all I can do is
Fall
Fall into you
Into the water blue eyes
That are as tumultuous as the waves
It is a dangerous adventure that I gladly take

You and I on a summer's night
With our hands interlaced
It seems like Lover's Fever
But behind loud laughs
And complete adoration
There is a falling of something
So hard and so deep
Could it be love?
And shaking the thought from my head
Because love does not come so easy
I try to tune out the pounding heartbeat
And turn my gaze away
Straight into your eyes
And although the music
Is too loud for words
The look in your eyes says everything

Why do regrets only come
In the dark cloak of night
When you are most alone
And your thoughts spiral
Into the black hoard of darkness
Night is
An emotional tornado
And I am a flat landscape
Waiting to be wrecked

I thought I was
   A calm breeze
      By the seashore
         Instead I became
      A burning flame
   That burned all
In it's way

"No."
She whispers to herself
As his snake-like hand
Slithers down her spine
But she does not stop him
For fear that the snake might bite
So she remains paralyzed
Frozen
As anyone would do
If they were in the presence of a snake

To the person I will one day love
I know they will say you are my other half
But know that I was complete
Long before you came along
Because I had to ensure
That if you wrecked me
I would be whole enough
To fix myself without you
But although my heart is complete
I would still like you to have a piece of it

When my skin no longer
Prickles at the blow of cool air
Or the butterflies that ignite
Every time I see you
Die
Or when the moon
Has traded places with the stars
Or when my body becomes a casket
For all of your grievances
I hope you know that as all things die
So has our love

When did I start worrying about
What to be
Instead of
Just being?

Boxed off in a corner
I try to test my boundaries
Go to the limits
But the more I push
The more the line recedes
And I feel my small space
Growing ever smaller
So I submit to the space that confines me

Hate
It's such an all encompassing word
And instead of hating the person
Why don't we hate the thing instead
Because hate dehumanizes a person

I've searched my whole life
In the darkest crevices
At the tallest heights
In the most hidden of shadows
And under the heaviest rocks
But I can't seem to find you anywhere
And when they say you'll find the one
I begin to doubt them

Although I feel like
A hollowed out shell
Too empty to fill
And too easy to break
Most nights I spend
Crying a sea
Of salt water tears
I bathe in the
Lonely waters
And rinse away
All the hurt
And when I come clean
I breathe in
And breathe out
One breath
To let me know
That I am still here
That this is not all

Wrong choice
They breathed down my neck
And I felt like I was suffocating
Under the pressure
Of a thousand whispers
Shouted from a distance

You once asked me to dance
And it sent me
Spiraling
Whirling
Twisting
Wreathing
And eventually falling

You started out
As gold
Too beautiful to own
And too golden to stay
That's why
I wanted you anyway

When I asked you
"Are you okay?"
You said nothing
But two seconds of your silence
Spoke two-thousand words
You simply could not say

All it took was one crack
On an already fragile glass
To send me shattering
Into a million tiny pieces