What is it like?
The fields of Elysium I mean
Today I should be sneaking you wine
After all, today is your Sweet 16
16 years ago on this very day
Our aunties answered the phone
Breaking the silence with sobs of sorrow
All I wanted was to hold you at home
But now you hold me
You soak the ambience with hope
in my lowest moments
the force of your existence cleanses my scope
My heavenly brother
When times are tough and I am not around
I know you take care of our sisters and our beautiful mother
You showed me in that dream
Vivid and clear
I walked into our bedroom
Our sister was asleep but something else was here
A child's curiosity led me
So I peered through our window
To see skies dancing
In a twinkling orange and yellow
Our sister was still sound asleep in bed
That's when I saw you for the first time
A light blue warmth with a cherub's head
You were cuddling our sister
I was in awe, not a single word said
Years have passed and I remember your visit
Anyways I just want you to know
When my eye's of this realm closes in death
I want to see you beside me Bro
One day we will all be together
In our circle of Heaven, as light as a feather
Can I ask perhaps to see you again?
In another dream?
Cheeky of your big brother to ask
On your bittersweet 16
On 25th December 2002, I was at home with my aunts on Christmas day whilst my mum gave birth to my still brother Jamal. It was my first experience with death and marks a pivotal moment in my family's life. I witnessed my mum slowly lose herself to depression and Christmas day became a birthday but also an anniversary of death. I remember having that dream I speak of when I had fallen asleep in my living one night a few years later as I now had my little sister. I told my mum and we cried in joy.