And all of my soul as I climb your spire
I'll be your ride and you'll be my seat.
My feet are numb
And I’ve forgotten my name.
Tonight I can see the stars
As I dance through the rain.
Crashed upon your island of isolation,
Delivered 2nd class by your ocean of emotion,
And directed by an eclipsed moon’s mind.
What treasures shall you find?
From the foam of a reddened sea
You’ll discover a bag of lies,
My worst is faced with disassociation, questioning my own sanity, looking in the mirror whilst listening to the softness. Though, disassociation breaks those boundaries, It’s weird. I don’t want or feel comfortable with defining it and at my best, I don’t care to. At my best I embrace the stares as simple acts, the finger pointing as fascination but at the same time, I’m living in my innocent normality which shifts internally and in my choice - privately, your eyes should do the same.
I ****** at your peak and I
taste with your tongue but
to you, I am just listening and
to me, I am reliving in
truth and time, In
loath, even lie. Mutuality meets
pity and we stare at each other through
a singular crack in a mirror. It’s a small slither of darkness. Enough
to display my most glorious gift, my
handsome curse. I loan you life and you
debt me death, innocently.
Voices in violins
The brilliance of brass
And wonderful winds
Sweet melodies become maleficent
And you conjure up chords
Like a cruel composer
Your favourite instrument x
A tree with no leafs
Reveals the veins of Earth we need
What is it like?
The fields of Elysium I mean
Today I should be sneaking you wine
After all, today is your Sweet 16
16 years ago on this very day
Our aunties answered the phone
Breaking the silence with sobs of sorrow
All I wanted was to hold you at home
But now you hold me
You soak the ambience with hope
in my lowest moments
the force of your existence cleanses my scope
My heavenly brother
When times are tough and I am not around
I know you take care of our sisters and our beautiful mother
You showed me in that dream
Vivid and clear
I walked into our bedroom
Our sister was asleep but something else was here
A child's curiosity led me
So I peered through our window
To see skies dancing
In a twinkling orange and yellow
Our sister was still sound asleep in bed
That's when I saw you for the first time
A light blue warmth with a cherub's head
You were cuddling our sister
I was in awe, not a single word said
Years have passed and I remember your visit
Anyways I just want you to know
When my eye's of this realm closes in death
I want to see you beside me Bro
One day we will all be together
In our circle of Heaven, as light as a feather
Can I ask perhaps to see you again?
In another dream?
Cheeky of your big brother to ask
On your bittersweet 16
On 25th December 2002, I was at home with my aunts on Christmas day whilst my mum gave birth to my still brother Jamal. It was my first experience with death and marks a pivotal moment in my family's life. I witnessed my mum slowly lose herself to depression and Christmas day became a birthday but also an anniversary of death. I remember having that dream I speak of when I had fallen asleep in my living one night a few years later as I now had my little sister. I told my mum and we cried in joy.
You give my heart disease
And like ash,
You carry no substance
especially in the purity of water
Your scent brings distaste
Bitter with toxic chemicals
a form of cancer.
You go well with,
the finest bottles of wine
A ritual of ours
Now only used
to mask your burns.
My biggest addiction
I need another box of cigarettes
You bite my lips
I grip your hips
I bet you thought
You could never do it like this
Beads of sweat
My dark silhouette
I like the taste
You watch my face
My eyes and parted lips
Induces your quickened pace
Slave of desire
Our fornication ignites a fire
Soft or mean
My realm for you outperforms
Any late night screen
Your favourite dish
And you, my love?
My biggest fetish
With silence harmonizing
The night sky sang the universe's song
Two sat in its audience
through looking at her love
Oceans formed in her eyes
The world simply paused
The man she loved captured a star and tied it to a ring
At that moment, she smiled but her eyes cried
'I will give you everything'
Your silence welcomes my anxiety
But your smile brings me joy
No one tells you the dark side of love
They never told me I’d be your toy
So, you knew my story
You knew my truth
But you still stared into my eyes
You still screamed abuse
You said I needed help
You said I was jealous
You now say
You see my growth, now you're envious?
But I listened to your story
I believed in your 'truth'
So I didn't love wearing your eyes that day
when you screamed the word abuse
I mourned many nights as I sought the help
I then remembered dishonesty left me 'jealous'
I now say
I feel my growth, so don't be envious.
So now know when I saw you as my muse
You had mistaken me for a mirror when you screamed
You thought I was innocent?
Take a look at the floor,
'Innocence' lays beside my briefs.
Let me be your dancer
and I'll let you
feast upon my versatility.
In this banquet,
It's only you and me.
With his eyes kissing your naked soul
In his form of perfection
The Devil will simply say
'I love you'
Forever? He won't
But his words
remain eternally engraved
Imprisoned in his decayed book of names
Your punishment awaits you
Some of my happiest moments
Art isn't just song and paint
It can resemble someone's deceit,
dirt and delusion
Hummed in utter confusion
Aimed at a single soul
but loved by many
Isn't that funny?
— The End —