I'm nothing but a mere reflection of who's around,
Too scared of my pain becoming unbound,
Always on guard, never showing my truth,
Because of the trauma stemming from my youth,
Never had the chance to be myself,
I was too busy hiding from everybody else,
Constantly in a state of fight or flight,
Crying myself to sleep every night,
All I've known is abuse and neglect,
Pain, suffering, sadness, is what I project,
So I protect my heart from ever having to feel,
I can't distinguish what's fake from what's real.

Like an anchor, you were bound to me,
When you cast my heart unto the sea,
I drowned in the water and you walked away,
Letting me die on that dark summer day,
Ever since then it's done nothing but rain,
It was supposed to heal but I still feel the pain,
Longing for affection, you are what I miss,
No way out, I need one last kiss,
How do I break this spell? It's just not fair,
I'm all alone in love and you don't care.

Going in circles as I'm running this race,
It never ends when you're after the chase,
All kinds of emotions along the way,
I have too much left to say,
And here I am, yet again,
Waiting for love to take the win,
I'm looking above at a dark cloud,
Above the rain, the thunder is loud,
My mind is gone and my dreams are lost,
My soul is burning while my heart is being tossed,
So I bury in the ground all that was left unsaid,
Soothing the pain to make peace in my head.

A feeling of dread,
Looming over my head,
If I don’t make it through,
I’ll end up dead

How did I get here,
Smothered in fear,
What a mess I made,
The end is near

There is no hope,
So I tied the rope ,
And I climbed and climbed,
Just trying to cope

As I planted my feet,
Into the heat,
I accepted my fate,
Our souls will meet.

My dreams are slipping away as I numb the pain,
Watching the clouds coerce with the rain,
A glimpse of the sun is all I need,
To get on my knees and beg and plead,

Leave me alone, I don't care for your lies,
Splattered within the color of your eyes,
They remind me of a beautiful ocean's shore,
That has been torn apart but a man-made war,

My blood bleeds red but tonight it bleeds black,
As I think of all the mistakes that I can't take back,
You left without trying, now I'm broken,
No longer can I trust the words that you have spoken,

Let me be miserable, let me be free,
As I throw my torn heart into the dead sea,
There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do,
That will stop the black from shining through.

Hey there love, I got something to say,
I know it's bad timing but let me know if I may,
Just get these feelings off my chest,
And I'll leave it up to you to judge the rest,
For days I've been trying to sort out how I feel,
Like, is this love? Is this real?
I've come to the conclusion that you're the one I need,
Longing for your love, Baby take the lead,
I've never been so sure about something before,
Willing to give up everything, Shut every door,
And start new with you right by my side,
I won't let you down, In you I'll take pride,
When you hurt, I hurt, It's we're meant to be,
Baby, I don't think you know what you do to me,
I'm under some sort of spell that you cast,
And don't worry, I'll treat you better than your last,
Trust me, I'll love you with everything that I got,
I just need to know if you feel the same or not..

Will I ever win?
Will I ever stop giving in?
To the demons that chase me around,
They try to throw me onto the ground,
They whisper things into my ear,
Only telling me what I want to hear,
Promising good out of nothing but bad,
Giving me things that I wish I never had,
I try to get out, I try to break free,
The darkness just won't let go of me.

I went to sleep with hopes that it was just a dream,
That maybe it was nothing more than a scheme,
But when I woke up my heart was tore in two,
Knowing there was nothing I could do for you..
Do you hear me when I call out your name?
Can you see the hurt behind the shame?
Why did it turn out this way..
Maybe it was destined for another day..
I'm starting to lose vision of my purpose here,
Cause everything I touch seems to disappear,
Falling apart right in front of my eyes,
Surrounded by the devil in disguise..
I dropped everything just for a chance,
Just for a taste, a small little glance,
But here I am, feeling nothing but numb,
Trying to figure out what I have become.

Yeah it's that kind of night,
Taking my time to make it right,
Turned off the cell and locked the door,
I can't deal with the thought of you anymore,
Letting my mind wander one last time,
Cause I had to pay the debt for your crime,
You & I, we intertwined,
But I have to erase you out of my mind,
So goodbye for now, Please don't return,
Our love is gone, we have to adjourn.

Until you return into my arms safe and sound,
I'm steady hurting with this new pain I found,

I wish I could turn back the hands of time and rewind,
To the moment when your lips met mine,

Assuring me that this beautiful love is meant to be,
I flew so high when you sang your heart out to me,

But until the day you return into my heart safe and sound,
My feet will stay planted on the ground.

At first, the idea of love seems great,
So you jump in head first,
Not knowing the consequences ahead,
Not knowing that pain is now your neighbor,
But you can't turn back because nothing can compare,
To the unbreakable connection between two souls,
But is it really unbreakable?
The storm is ahead, do you think you can face it?
Do you think you really have what it takes to make it?
Do you even know the person that is laying next to you?
I do. And that's the scariest part.
Knowing that no one in the universe could ever give you this unrequited love,
The same love that you swore was sent from above,
Is this just a test? We need to make it through.
Because there's no way in hell that I'm going on without you,
Please understand that my intentions aren't to harm,
The anger inside of me can get so out of control,
There are so many things that I want you to know,
But I'm scared to let you in all of the way,
There's still that fear in the back of my mind that you'll change your mind someday.

Time and time again I find myself in the same place,
Thinking about how we never finished the race,
We were almost there, we almost made it through,
It was destroyed overnight. What happened to you?
The sweet boy, with the crystal blue eyes,
Full of love with a frontal disguise,
Somewhere along the way, you got lost,
I tried to steer you back no matter the cost,
The boy I once knew turned into a stranger,
Constantly careless and always in danger,
Now I'm alone with nothing but memories on my mind,
The passion we had was one of a kind,
And on my end, the fire never died down,
All of my friends say that I'm a clown,
But I would give anything in this world to hold you again,
My love, my happiness, you were my best friend,
Sure we fought and we fought hard,
You were the only one who could tear down my guard,
You knew all of the cues and all of the signs,
I need you to come back and read between the lines,
I know that you love her but I love you,
There's no way that she loves you as much as I do,
Do you honestly think she knows you better?
I bet she would never want to be your debtor,
But I'm forever indebted to your heart,
I knew this was it from the start,
I don’t' keep count of all of the pain,
Because I know it's so much better to let it wash out in the rain,
But lately my heart has been so dry,
I'm missing the only thing that gets me high,
My drug, my addiction, my whole life,
I was always supposed to be your wife,
You were pulled right from under my feet,
Now I walk around with a look of defeat,
Love is crazy and painful and a liar,
But if your heart was on sale, I'd be the first buyer.

Criminal mind when I think about you,
Cause I want you to feel the pain that you put me through,
4 years later and I still remember it all,
The selfish hands that caused me to fall,
But don't worry cause I'm standing tall,
A new perspective; A better picture on my wall.

My heart is yearning for your affection,
Captivated my soul with your perfection,
Love poured down and it stayed,
My feelings for you could never fade,
Trust me, I would never make you cry,
I'd give you the world without telling a lie,
I'll wait for however long you need to mend,
I'll always be here when you need a friend.

You’re tired of me,
Cause I’m not who I used to be,
I’m better now, but not to you,
I wish there was something I could do,
Who am I kidding? I need to move on,
I can see that you’ve been long gone,
I’m a master of disguise,
You can’t see through my eyes,
Now the sky seems a little less blue,
Since I’m no longer with you,
The grass seems a little less green,
Ever since I’ve been clean.

Mirror mirror on the wall,
Why do I always fall?
Who is this person in my reflection?
Full of self hate from a lack of perfection,
If only it was as easy as changing perspective,
Self love in my heart would be reflective,
Every scar reminds me of my deepest cuts,
The empty valleys and the darkest ruts,
Mirror mirror, show me what's real,
As my soul is ready to heal.

For years I hid myself away,
Consumed with pain and dismay,
Hidden in fantasies and day dreams,
Nothing is ever as it seems,
Don’t try to control me,
Don’t try to belittle me,
Let me be,
Let me free,
They tried to silence my words,
That **** is for the birds,
Do not mistake me for a fool,
I will no longer be your tool,
I will use my voice for good,
No longer will I be misunderstood,
You can hide under your religion all of your life,
But you can’t deny the lies you tell in rife,
Stealing the money of innocent people,
You should be ashamed of your so-called steeple,
You caused us to be afraid,
You caused our lights to fade,
But we will rise up, we will not back down,
We will riot until you leave this town.

My mouth can't translate,
The thoughts that are in my head,
But the cuts from your words,
Have stained my sheets red.

Have no restraints,
No second thoughts,
We are two saints,
Tangled in knots.

I am broken,
Still under construction,
So out-spoken,
With a niche in dysfunction.

You are perfect,
Everything of my dreams,
So very worth it,
Tearing at the seams.

No matter where we go,
I could never forget,
You helped me grow,
You carried my debt.

The beautiful girl with the lovely red hair,
Made me fall in love, it's not fair,
Such a tease, such a tease, but my heart is chasin',
Because when I see her, my heart starts racin',
I can't quite explain how she got me in a hold,
But my love, all of my love is completely sold,
She's an angel, her touch and her ways,
Her charm and beauty has me going crazy for days,
They say that two wrongs make a right,
That's why our lips met two times in one night.

Have you ever felt trapped with no way out?
As if you’re stuck in the middle of the world’s driest drought?
With no water for hydration or food for survival,
Desperately searching for answers, so you pick up a bible,
And flip through the pages hoping for a sign,
Realizing that a “life-manual” isn’t what God left behind,
He left behind love, acceptance and peace,
Spirits that seem so far out of reach,
These days it feels more yin than yang,
The darkness inside of my heart acts as a boomerang,
I try to throw it far, far away but it always comes back,
Throwing my life off-balance, placing me off track,
Surrounded by people that say they care but don’t understand,
They can’t even see that I am hanging on by a strand,
I guess I’m hanging on to the hope of a better tomorrow,
Even when I wake up the next morning, drenched in sorrow,
I know that one day I will wake up feeling anew,
But today is not that day. I will try to push through.

The last time your hand was in mine, do you remember?,
Kissed your lips and watched you walk away, that night in September,
You got on the train going South, I was going West,
So deep in love, that feeling was the best,
That spark was so bright, glowing like an ember,
Who knew how cold it would get in December?,
I was strong for the longest, pretending was my mistake,
You can bend pretty far but at some point you're bound to break,
I've always been a fighter, so I will wait,
Until it is time, for our fate.