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 May 2018 joel hansen
storm siren
I touch my temples
Where they always mentioned
My red horns used to grow.

I think about what they did to me,
And wonder why I am the monster.

I feel the beast within my soul
Lurking,
Prowling,
Waiting for his chance
To pounce.

I reach for it.

I make contact
With blood red horns.

A leathery tail lashes behind me.

Maybe I am the monster
They always said I was.

But then again, monsters are made.

I am their child, after all.
 May 2018 joel hansen
Christine
you got drunk that night
just three sips you said
and you already out of your mind
it has been a while you said
            
I listen to you with smiles on face
another minutes passed
and I already pictured the gaps between our fingers
hello I said

you can't seem to sleep
the night drag you like forever
and you wished to touch me against my chin
I got you on my mind you said

I can't seem to have enough
just distance ain't far be patient over and over
and I wished for the words against my ears
I will see you soon I said
The memory flows between their distance by the end of the calls, he said he miss her too .
 May 2018 joel hansen
CLARYT
Hush! he approaches
Rush! here his coach is,
Try to silence all the fear your trembling poor heart makes,
Stop! or he'll see you,
Chop! that's what he'll do,
Dismemebering you bit by bit, a moment it will take,
Come! let me show you,
Run! this you must do,
Evade the cuts and thrusts from such a menacing sharp knife,
Look! keep your eyes peeled,
Shook! that's how you feel,
If he ensnares you trust me, he will bleed away your life,
Oops! i've deceived you,
Nice! how i've played you,
enticing you with urgency into my masters lair,
Tricked! how delightful,
Stripped! oh so frightful,
your gut spills forth its contents but your screams are never heard,
Spared! that's what i am,
You! sacraficed lamb,
I live another day while lord and master feeds on you,
Search! nightly i scour,
Creep! in the wee hours,
providing my lords food supply, or i will be killed too......
an attempt at some victorian horror, needs a few tweeks, i'll get round to it soon enough, any ideas? i'd be happy to listen
 May 2018 joel hansen
Umama iqbal
Years and years ago she was all shattered,
Her heart was broken into pieces,
Each piece was a reminder related to her past.

But She survived, she pretended and she moved on.

Deep down inside her, each piece ached,
Deep down her wounds were not healing,
Every scar was telling a new story,
Every story was making her weak,

But She survived, she pretended and she moved on.

Deep down she was crying,
Screaming from the pain of never healing wounds,
She was trying to bring the broken parts back again, but scars never disappeared.

But She survived, she pretended and she moved on.

Every story inside her was leaving traces in her innocent soul,
Prints which will always make her cry from regret,
Prints which will then be a reminder of her past,
Prints which will hold her innocent soul and never leave.

But She survived, she pretended and she moved on.
 May 2018 joel hansen
Eliza
Why am I surprised every time
The voicemail sounds the same
People. They are always the same
Walking and talking
Whenever I am not there
I speak to an agency
They answer with careful wording
All calls are recorded for training
Purposes they say
I speak to myself and listen
To my thoughts they go
Around the same way
Like the earth goes round the sun
They repeat the same patterns
I think back and forward and still
And still my perspective remains
You are always your personality
You are always the same
Even when you change
The humour and the fondness
For your favourite things
Your patterns meeting patterns
Memories meeting memories
I admire the consistency
But consistency is not to be fooled
It cannot create certainty
You have to live without that
When you ring a phone
 May 2018 joel hansen
Fox Friend
"Hold on."
"Try harder."
"Just a little longer to get through."
I understand you're trying to encourage and be kind,
but these words you're spouting at me
aren't anything new.
This "revelation" you've given me
tried to take root in my soul, as words do,
but they shriveled up dry
& the rejection left a nasty bruise.
For growth demands light & water & love,
but I've been long out of those,
so although your push to borrow tomorrow's happiness is tempting,
that's how people end up in debt, as the universe knows.
When we use things unearned
& take what's not ours with empty promises of repayment,
the heart shrivels under the weight of the endless torment
which is the Happiness Debt.
 May 2018 joel hansen
Bec
The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.
and i don't even know if i want to kiss your lips or just your skin
because i'm
     falling
       falling
         falling
           falling
         falling
       falling
     falling
but i don't want to hit the ground again.
are you sure your arms can hold the weight of my love when it's wrapped in wet clothes?
and are you sure it's the best idea to take this where the wind goes?
i'm not yet sure if love is a real thing
it's just a
   beautiful
  fictional
deadly
play,
and you still kiss me like i'm sane
but i know it's all just another game
so don't be surprised if i refuse to participate.
and you're like a
         cynical
           patronizing
             inconsiderate
           impartial
         callous
song,
but your vicious words still gently drag me along.
and i'm not sure if you're really toxic
or it's just all in my head.
because
i love you
love you
ove you
ve you
e you
you
ou
u
or maybe i love when you're in my bed.
there's a difference between someone telling you they love you and them actually loving you
i haven't figured it out yet though
 May 2018 joel hansen
Traveler
If you could feel
Certain thing I've done
The rush in my desires...
I assure you most
Would cut and run
From the lake
That burns like fire

Dancing to a primal beat
Where life is trampled
Under feet
To feed the furnace
Of evermore
No time for love
Or even war

If you could see
Through shell shocked eyes
You'd know just why
I live a lie
...
Traveler Tim
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