you were once so small
your tiny lungs barely moved
they thought you wouldn’t make it
you did

you grew slowly
your legs never stopped running
your mind never stopped thinking
you wanted to do everything
you still do

you got older
your mind began to slip
your skin began to sting
as you took yourself for granted
and wanted nothing more than to fade away
yet you still remain

you survived
your mind still wanders
you search endlessly
for what you know you need
but what you can never find
you still haven’t

you have loved
and lost
you repeat the cycle
and carry your mind through your childhood bliss
your dark adolescence
and finally to the new horizons of your life
as an eighteen year-old
who is already having a mid-life crisis

the dawn of a new beginning.
siren songs of promises for reunion, quickly dying
beneath the blinding rays of hope you had sworn to me
as I waited to watch another day pass across your face.

the light I saw was an illusion for the hope you led me to believe in.
perhaps I had finally found a soulmate
to share my rotations with.

for a moment, I felt joy
it was only a fleeting moment
and just before I could fully appreciate the deep blues of your soul
you whisked your lush home away from me
and left my stone heart to freeze.

the spirit of love I had fostered
was split by the blazing comet of your cunning
and I felt my chilled core dissolve in the emptiness of space
as your selfishness broke me out of orbit
and left me to find a new solar system.

the stardust of my tears stick to your atmosphere  
to remind you of the love that we had
but what you only took for granted
as you and I drift apart in our galaxies.

when you collide with something beyond yourself
and reach the dusk of your last breath,
I hope you think of me.

What if it all
stopped
all of a sudden
maybe it would give us a chance to breathe
a chance to feel
a chance to be alive
I wouldn’t know what that’s like
instead I continue living in a constant world
where everything must be
immediate
and instantaneous
and there isn't enough time
but also too much
and everything blends together
until
it becomes as
meaningless
as the sad life
I live

wouldn’t it be nice to look at the world with new eyes?
with fresh lungs that can
pause
between thoughts
and take in the breathtaking beauty
that surrounds me
while the rest of the people on earth continue
in their feeding frenzy
trying to consume everything
when really
everything
s
l
o
w
l
y
consumes them.

you trampled our sacred garden
and ripped out what had blossomed
once from love
now in lust
as you left for a new flowerbed
leaving my heart to shrivel and die in the blazing sun
as my anger dehydrated the supple foliage
that I had worked so long to nurture

without your care,
what was once our lush oasis
is now a withering desert
that will only welcome your presence
with thorns

it is fall
the sounds of unfamiliar voices fills my mind with fear
as my eyes wander around this new place
the sheltering leaves of my dead summer fall away
you assure me with a calming serenade
and promise everything will be okay

I trust you

it is winter
the cold air steals my breath away
we grow through each other’s joys and pains together
your warmth melts my worries away
and we laugh carelessly like schoolchildren
a spark is ignited inside me and I dream of the summer days to come

I love you

it is spring
the sun bounces off of your glass frames and blinds me
while I watch petals fall around us
they cast a shadow to hide the emotion in your eyes
but I see them reflect the pain in my own
I feel our connection blow away in the wind as we turn our backs
and retreat to pursue new life

I lose you

it is summer
I still think about you.
the endless daylight has cured some of my ailments
while new freckles dot my skin like constellations
my heart still beats in time with the steps that we took together
nothing can replace the symphony of our banter  
that made up a concert to bring joy
only to us

I miss you

they say distance makes the heart grow fonder
for us, the distance of time made the heart burst
and we were left separated with the tattered remains
of what once was
love

so, I sit and wait for another fall to come
to peel away the past
so I can blossom into new life
once again

before I knew you, I was the moon
calm, silver, glowing
soothing everything below with my soft touch
as my light eased the world into slumber
I was a beacon after everything else was dark
so even those who were lost could find their way home

after I met you, I became the sun
warm, golden, radiant
bathing everything I touched in fiery light
to ignite the landscape with change
I was constantly burning with a flaming passion
for the joys of the life that I reached below

what I soon remembered was that you were the stars
and as long as I walked in daylight, we could never be together

every day, our radiant pink and orange tears
stain the sky as we pass each other
we desperately long to be together
but never achieve our dream

forever we will chase each other
until my heart that is so full of love for my new self
is ripped apart again
and I can dissolve into stardust to join you