my vision is a crystal clarity  
but
I stand back
because
everything
I get close to

s
  l
   o
    w
       l
        y

kills
me

I saw you across the room
you were in front of me
daily
your dark hair stuck up at the bottom of my vision
as I tried to focus on the board
I could only really think of you

I learned you were a gentleman
when you escorted me home
weekly
you wanted me to be safe
for as long as I was in your view
and always beyond it

I realized our connection
too late to react before we were separated
monthly
an empty, painful longing began
as my dreams began to lose their grasp on you

when we returned, everything had changed
the tender voice I had once heard
daily
I began to never hear again

why did we lose each other
that precious connection gone
I ask myself
hourly
my mind never stops asking
questioning
wondering if there could ever have been anything more
if time hadn’t gotten in the way of me and you

She cried a thousand tears
because she was
afraid
that if she stopped  
she might not feel
anything

I was unaware I had missed you
until I felt my heart pang with longing
as I gazed at your sheltered valley
again for the first time

You nourished my growth
with sunlight and bare feet in endless grass
while keeping me from the cruelties of
concrete grids and glass prisons

One day I got lost in your redwood oasis
and tangled myself in your hair
because I couldn’t imagine living
anywhere else than with you  

I was too young to know the world
outside of your gentle exhale    
and foolishly took you for granted
as you became a burden with age

I ached to feel excitement beyond
the cautious daylight you offered me
and prepared myself to leave you
without a second hesitation

You howled as I turned away
from everything you had given me  
but my sights were on the future
as I moved beyond what you could provide

I never looked back.
We both knew I couldn’t
or the pain would consume us
and we would ******* ourselves  
over the heartbreak of leaving the other

One day I would return and bathe    
in the refreshing starlight of your hidden sky
to heal the scars that the land of tar and steel
had left upon my sun-kissed skin

I never stopped loving you
I only keep my distance  
to save myself from the pain
of leaving you again.