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Gabby Paige Mar 2014
...
I don't know what I did to make you leave.
I don't know why you would want to.
I thought I was yours-
-your shoulder to cry on
-your secret keeper
-your laughter
-your opposite
-your best friend.

I guess not.
Gabby Paige Dec 2013
Today our bell ringer was
¨What makes you happy?¨
I stared at my blank paper,
sighed,
and turned it in.
Gabby Paige Dec 2013
Sometimes I think of you.
I think of you showing up at my house
in the middle of a snowstorm
with white roses,
hot cheetos,
High School Musical 3,
and your favorite sweater.
And you'd knock on my door
and I'd come running
and I'd open it up,
and there you would be.
You'd smile at me and whisper,
"I'm so sorry.
I made a mistake.
Please forgive me."
And,
because I love you,
I'd nod
and let you in.
We'd cuddle on the couch,
our bodies tangled in each other,
and we'd whisper,
"I love you."

Sometimes I think of you doing this.
Sometimes I believe that you are planning this.

But,
I don't know,
maybe I'm wishing for a Christmas miracle.
And,
we all know miracles don't exist.
Gabby Paige Apr 2014
It's midnight and
I'm awake and
I miss you.

It's been a week since we've touched
and I don't know how much longer I can go on
because I'm addicted to you
and your love.

Oh God, I miss you.
I miss you so much.
I wrote this in the middle of the night.
Gabby Paige Nov 2013
I am the petals
if he is my roots.
I am the harmony
if he is my melody.
I am the sunlight
if he is my shade.
I am the pain
if he is my comfort.
I am the effort
if he is the reward.
I am the happiness
if he is the love.
Gabby Paige Oct 2013
Born first out of everyone.

Be perfect.

Dreams taken away, childhood taken away.

Be perfect.

Work from spring morning to winter dusk.

Be perfect.

Work for only pride.

Be perfect.

Last chance, first break.

Be perfect.

**** your time.

Be perfect.

Lynch your imagination.

Be perfect.

Bomb your audition.

Be perfect.

**** your body.

Be perfect.

Forced to fight his vision.

Be perfect.

Pay the ultimate price.

Be perfect.

Sell you endless lies.

Be perfect.

Sell lies to your friends.

Be perfect.

Forced to live a new life.

Be perfect.

Uninspiring schools.

Be perfect.

Puts you in despair.

Be perfect.

Bitten by critics.

Be perfect.

Water leaves more thirst.

Be perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfe­ct, for everybody else.

But when does perfection become self-loathing?
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
Your warmth slid through my body,
energizing every cell,
a tingling sensation.

You started at my lips and worked your way
down
through my throat
down my spine
past my stomach
around my legs
to my toes.

Part of me wanted to pull away
but I couldn't leave from your
mocha taste and firm grip-
my addiction.

I've never loved a sensation like this,
but I can't bring myself to tear away
from the caffiene that is your touch.
Gabby Paige Nov 2013
I’ve always dreamed of flying,
but long ago,
my wings were clipped.
It wasn’t a seasonal trim,
but a severe tragedy
that felt like an eternal fire.

I’ve always dreamed of flying,
but long ago,
I was left to die.
I was on the ground,
lonely and broken,
but still alive.

I’ve always dreamed of flying,
and just a short while ago,
I finally believe I can.
My wings have grown back
bigger and brighter than ever,
because I found the wind.
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
I thought that now
I'd be so more more
Alive.
But the ones that were there
When I needed someone the most,
Are slipping...

or maybe its me...

All I know is that I can't do this alone.
Is anybody out there?
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
Is this real?
Are you really mine?
It's been a week and I still can't get over the fact
that for the first time in forever,
I am not alone.
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
You found me in the crowd last Saturday.
I met your eyes and I tried to run-I'm sorry-I really did
but there was no way out.

You gave me a hug
(oh, how I once yearned for your arms around me)
but it felt so tense, so cold.
I didn't want to see you.

You acted like nothing was ever wrong.
Like you hadn't fallen off the face of the Earth.
Like you still loved me,
but you know,
and I know,
it's too late for that now.

I hope you know that I still have your Christmas present.
I bought it when things were still good.
It's too late to give it to you now.

That night,
I was holding a rose from another lover.  
I hope you saw that.

I hope you know that he's better than you'll ever be.
He doesn't touch me like you did,
but he listens to me.
He treats me as an equal, not as an object.
You've grown up too much without aquiring respect and knowledge.
I know it's too late for you to learn the lessons he did.
I guess it's time for you to learn.
A bit of a stream of consciousness.
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
I'm sorry that I never told you
that I liked him.
I'm sorry that there are secrets I've kept
to myself,
away from you.

I didn't want to hurt you.

I'm sorry that things worked out the way they did.
I don't want you to think that I stole him-
that I did this voluntarily-
because I didn't.

It's just...
my heart does things.

I can't control it.

I'm sorry if you think I'm a terrible person.
You didn't deserve this.

I'm sorry that the one you are trying to love right now doesn't love you.
And I'm sorry if you find that out right now.
I had to tell you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't find the words to tell you these things.

I'm so sorry.  Really.

Forgive me.
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
I talked to your sister today.
She said she doesn't want you two to get back together either.
He isn't right for you.
She said that when you're with him,
she's lost a sister.
Well,
I've lost something almost as bad,
maybe worse.
I lost a best friend.

Goodbye.
Gabby Paige Oct 2013
The frost bitten cold wraps around the Earth

like a scarf and it pulls it in softly

like a warm embrace.

A glimpse of white catches my eye

and I'm released

from the warm fire place to the stained glass window

that holds my world so dear.

It is the wall that cannot be broken,

but shattered,

between warm and cold

as the wall between routine and adventure

is so thin, but so thick.

The bare branches reaching for my embrace call me and I run and jump and shatter the glass and I am            released.

I am released to a world of white,

like a dream I might have known if I had been given a chance to dream that dream.

My footsteps are covered with the white dream clouds,

but I am not lost.

The sounds of awake still ring in my ears,

but maybe it is just an echo.
Gabby Paige Mar 2014
You said you'd never hurt me
and for a while,
I was okay.
I wasn't good,
I wasn't bad.
I was alive and that's all I needed.

But now,
I'm hurting.
I realize that sometimes repression
isn't always my best skill because
our memory is the cruelest skill God has given us.
I remember the pain,
the feeling of not enough oxygen,
the tightness in my chest,
the bloodshot eyes.
I remember.

I'm scared he'll do that to me too.
I'm scared to be alone,
but I'm scared to drive him away.
I drove you away.

You said you'd never hurt me.
You never said you wouldn't hurt my mind.
The title of your favorite song

— The End —