When I was small you French  braided my hair
Watched over me held me tight
When you where beat over nothing at all
I would wait until the end
I wanted to mend your way
The sound of crying eyes
Your puppy shot because Father thought he was in the way
From then on I was alone
My heart was frigid and paralyzed
I never slept or ever spoke the same after that day

Daddy issues is not a kink
Every time you are down on me I never forget a thing
I didn't want you as my first love nor as my last
I became your little girl
Doing what is right for you
If you go Daddy what will I do?

Touch has a memory

Sipping on that juice
You are tripping
Screaming and laughing all at once
I'm flying getting my game on
Mystifying you be wearing your *** kicking boots
Smoking one, putting that roach in a jar
Popping vicodin  just to stay alive
Not even sure if I exist
Selling Adderall's so the ******* can stay skinny
Sweet little boy shot down on his big wheel bike
All I can do is grab the mic and send the message on
People on the street begging for money for addictions
******* **** just to get high
What if that was your daughter?
Hoping the soup kitchen is open
Do they have a empty bed for me to sleep tonight
Dressing in color
It's a true story this town is in demise
The water is not even safe to drink
Lake Huron to the Flint river
The town showing no love
Then Rick Snyder declares a state of emergency
The first person to come forward Sasha Bell
Was found murdered in her home as her small one year old son was left to roam
She had a law suit against the Flint water crisis
She is now silenced a baby without a mother
Nobody is winning here
90 people were sickened from exposer 12 died    
Delivering  bottle water to Veteran's, as they are losing there homes
People who have worked there whole lives
People just trying to survive

Hemmed galaxies wither in my hip pocket flap
Starlight angst feeling alive for the first time
Whiskey feeble,chain smoking all night through
Tearing through pages of a magazine
Thought we where immortal
I still want you
We where so wrong

Prisoner of fire and bloodbath fevers
With mouthfuls of bourbon and trembling convictions  
A lovers gaze upon her midnight *******
Wandering through starlight fields  
A womb of silence holding the recipe to my tears

Moisten and pucker as the world curls  
Murky images appear
Fibers of smoky leather lingers
Painting my hair with the earth
Chasing the days away

I slept in the air you had left
Your fingers embroidered my face
We did tarot cards and tea leaves
Stories of midwifes and past ancestors
We snowshoed  and sawed down our Christmas trees
Twenty years difference didn't mean a thing to me
You touched me as I opened the silence of fear
I tangled and tunneled  inside of you
You peeled back my needs

Lipstick streets
Chinese  lullabies
Grooving reminisming
Playing and delaying
Hide and seek with a lunatic
A minefield in my mind  
Attractive perceptive
Discarded,battered
Wine hair weeping
Spoken and used

Undersea
Distant
Drunk eye's
Summers intent
Back Stair's
Flowers in matrimony
Electrifying mouth
My addiction

Stranded barefoot and frightened
Shadows of the blue earth appear
Afternoon depression wraps its hands around my throat
Clouds of sunsets sobbing
Delirium wearing me as a dress
Causality of myself, scattered cells in a lovers spleen
Aminotic castles barren and lacking
****** are noctural secrets
Rug burns churn my insides

Prisonor of fire
Bloodbath fevers
With mouthfuls of bourbon and trembling convictions  
A lovers gaze upon her midnight *******
Wandering through starlight fields  
A womb of silence holding the recipe of my tears

Living in Overdrive
Dead yet Alive
No curtains, No curfew
The smell of your perfume
Got me reminiscing
My mind on stilts
No balance to my reactions
Dust from my blunts
Got me accepting

Electric dancing with a marching band
Argus eyes with a sneer
Incisive wit with undertones of crazy
A love affair with the sky
Crying out for the moon
Shafts of sunlight crossing the skyline
As my dreams go to sleep

I want to collect kisses
Melting moments into my mouth
No agony
No everlasting despair
Submerge the demons
I'm stars ripping through the sky
As the ashes fall
Hidden truths can no longer hide

Concrete jukeboxes, gas station photographs
Thunderbolt shackles
Smoky tongues singing the blues
Unwritten manuscripts whirling in my brain
Star filled cemeteries vanishing into the whimsical woods

Look at what you made me do
My fist just happened to hit your face
I control you because I care
This is how I grow up I didn't know
You know that sets me off
I was just having a bad day
It won't happen again
She don't  know when to shut up
How could I think so low of myself
Because every time I began to rise you kicked me down

Misunderstandings and Perceptions
She must like it or she would leave
Why does she stay?
It's easy to leave

Excuses we make for him
I don't have a job
I know he loves me
It was my fault I made him mad
The children need mom and dad
Alcohol made him  do it
She provoked me
I didn't mean to hurt her famous last words spoken at my coffin

I don't want magnetic eyelashes
I want magnetic poetry
No Botox for me
Let me wrinkle let me age
It's alright to become who I'm suppose to be
Don't want fake extensions my hair is its own
It will grow out one day at a time
No need for microblading, highlights or ****** scrubs
Won't curl my lashes or disguise my wrinkles
My skin can tell my story through native lines
The burden of beauty is a fools game
I shall use my smiles lines as a accessory
Wrinkle creams will not fix your personality
I refuse to fake fuller lips
Acid peels are not for me
Cheek fillers full of botulism
Skin lasers to erase me
Hair removal will be with a five dollar schick
Keep your tanning beds and keep your Melanoma
Don't need Chanel or Louis Vuitton not paying 2,000 dollars for a handbag
I will be just me

Mother peace on this fearsome journey
To the light as the moon stirs
Hidden truths in life and self
The pathway of rites and symbols
Connecting with the earth
Drawing strength looking for growth

A day or even seconds inside his brain  
Often wondering what is being said
Are neurons triggering as they should?
Is his brain shaped differently or the same as mine?
Can he make friends with the voices in his head?

Lovers come to taste me
I couldn't let him go  
Naive bruises that I caused
Laying my head down to sleep
I feel my skin breaking
Could we still make love?
I questioned this inside my head
Like an wounded  bird I lay still
I wanted it to all be true
A change for me and you
Reading the newspaper over coffee
When a difference of opinion was just simply that  
You wanted me to love you
It was simple then
No control you left me safely in the nest

I love that feeling when your frantic with desire
Wanting to climb into the other person to feel them alive
Often that passion does gap and divide
If only that frantic hunger did not die
I would love to always be hungry for the same meal after years of indulgence

I didn't even know I was swimming
Until I began to drown

Dressed for the dying
I attended the funeral
Smelling of life

Flowers of ink
In the heart of your ears
Fair hair that runs blue
Pierced with light
Sweet madness in the wine of daylight
On a worlds journey
Beads of love in the curve of her back
I sink into her flesh
Aching for touch
The mouth of arousal  is hypnotizing
The softness of her tongue awakens me
Flicking the head of my manhood
Her lips and tongue trail up and down
I'm floating away
As she indulges all of me
Its electric as I shudder and moan
I want to erupt into her eager mouth
I'm swelling as she gasps for air
Thrusting I empty
She says I taste sweet
I'm over come with intensity
Caressing and sweeping  
She tastes like sugar and wine  
Savoring the flavor
Her hips rise and fall
Groaning she began to tremble
I tip and curl around her pearl
Your  fingers enter me
I'm weak and powerless
I brace myself as I spurt my juice
We lay still spilling passion

His skin was always so baby soft
I would sleep next to him when I felt like I was fallen apart
We where not attached at birth
In fact you couldn't wait to be away from me
You severed your life cord  
I did not nest in your  soul
I had to leave
I didn't try hard enough
Perhaps  when you where a  baby I held you like a gun
I'm your  trigger
Allowing the bullets in my head to erupt
I feel so much hatred towards the boy in a mans body

I want a invitation to give up
No questions asked
No guilt just freedom
Free at last

Sea pearls in my frail hands
Strawberry gold in my glass coffin
Champagne with still sparkle
A sweet love will exist
Obscure graffiti will continue to paint firefly nights
My stained glass eyes would soon be forgotten
Neon ghosts would speak out loud
Wild flowers and moon shadows
Frosty nights, sugar wildflower carnivals with still have rides
Magnolias will shimmer with pride
Some may bleed and go slowly
Watercolors of purple ice will waltz with the honey flies
The winds will bellow with urgency
Draw the curtains of the dark hued winds  
A dusk house of earths yarn
Hanging on by fingertips does not slow the *****
The fog straggles will push and pull
Our stories will remain on the walls
Its not the years its what is left behind
Where all so much more than we know
When that strength begins to fog  
Crackling flowers will adequately grow
Earth will yawn with a calling to come home
So many secrets we are frankly to tired to spill
At times the sweetness and zest is excused
Forest rose shells await
A true beauty of life is found
Death does not strip away your spirit
Honey dew smells invade your nose
Star filled nights may feel like stones in your throat
I see slices of you in the pane of my own essence
I will shield you as you retreat  into the dimness

Sadness has never been so beautiful
Yet so dangerous

I have danced with strangers
To keep warm
Sand and lighthouses  decalcified  me
Frozen from the sea
Repels  me
Winter defrauds me
As wool blankets irate my skin
******* full of milk
Stains of madness making me alive
Snow forms flatly on the surface of the sea
Salt floats burning my skin
Realizing I love some one I never even knew

The devil strikes with animals in his teeth
Stick children fighting and burning
Whiskers like needles
Baby blue robin egg bruises
Twisted and impacted into you
A shaft of sunlight is woven into your hair
Faint whiskey drops stir into the sheets
Bites of needles push and shove me down
You're  a pain that won't go away
Selling blood to ease our pain
Rest now love, I will hold you
I'll clean up the blood
I'm so envious of your veins
I wrap the belt so tight

Winter is a fraud to me
I had no right to love her
Yet when we come together she incites me
As a child she kissed my frost nipped cheeks
Made igloo tears and iced up fuzzes

Then I caught sight of her with make up on her cheeks
She warmed me through and was awe-inspiring
Unbreakable and reassuring like an old friend
We said our farewell for this day  

It seemed as though time scampered away
She distressed me we had a quick chatter then we where on our way

Chilled to my marrow she stayed in the air
Becoming senseless at great lengths  
Beginning to distort my state of mind
I'm brain sick
The sun never seems to shine

*******, I love you
*******,  I don't have the nerve to call
*******, I have nobody to hold me
No **** me

Don't worry about me
I have just enough oxygen left

What is good morning even mean
When you never sleep?

Yellow embryos famished
Shadows gnarled oak
Thickets of winter ambush my walking feet
Wooded ghosts begin to appear
Thinking of surrendering to death, So I can feel alive
Unbalanced earth swarming and sunken
Living in the corners with the voices  
Covered in patchwork and books
The dance with death is relentless

Writers block
***** me

Humanitys clutch is invading my mind, mentally departing
Hidden truths spark a surge flashing by
The thread of peace and fate nourish my spirit
Writing on the sea the doctrine of truth
Marigold scars woven into the tree of life
Motherpeace take a breath binge on isomnia nests

Surrounded by the great lakes
Perhaps this is why I feel like I'm drowning

I miss someone
I never knew

Trauma tried to mold me
Hiding away I developed phobias
Shrinking into myself  
He planted the layers of  youth with deceit
While I held the truth
Dissociating and unfolding mentally
My clothes,  my body felt foreign
His lips tried to instill shame
I'm weary and shy now living with anxiousness
Why did not anyone see this? I often ask why
Blinded and fooled or just ignored?
I want to be secure again and begin to heal
Seize the moment to have control
No longer a hostage in my own mind

I night dream, I day-dream
Falling everyday
As the distance calls for me
I'm trying to cling for growth
Yet , I'm searching for my obituary  
I memorized the words
A flower face with electric taste
Tiny shadow with a fierce force

Eating the night away
With Jack on my tongue  I forget my name  
Needles,patches and antipsychotics
On this exotic edge of my release  
My waist has never been thin
My ribs have never been a bird bath
I'm to hungry to stay alive
This hollow patched affair
The shape of  anxiety drowns me
Forcing all the air from my lungs
Lost  lovers and forgotten friends
Suddenly appear
Tasting my words like never before
Death is contagious
As everyone sits in the shadows  
I'm surrendering to the ghosts
I have made love to razor blades
Had affairs with whiskey and pills
Have danced over lines I said I would never cross

Falling into a nest, that don't feel like home
I'm going to jump
I will not arise

It was only tonight
That while kissing my husband
That I remembered that I despise wet lips and kisses
I removed his saliva with the back of my hand
Whiskers rubs is what he called them
At first it was playful
Eskimo kisses
Daddy's lap
His tight jeans
Some soft lotion
A movie
But why again tonight?

With the frailty of a butterfly

Books for warmth, fading out like old photographs

Antique white skin

Brassy bloodied cheeks

A swarm of dragonflies laces  my face

Ancestry nightfall, ghosts of the drowned

Faded gnarled patchwork, eating away my  mind

Limbs of the tree growing out of me

Divided from everyone else

Inside the pinwheel blindfolded
  
Wading through hours and days

A slave to this disease

It's the only one that I breathe

He told me I,  begged for a black eye

I had it coming

It was my Fault

Black eye, broken cheek bone

I'm trash

I volunteer at a shelter home for battered women

It's so ******* clear

Swallow me,  push me down  

I don't care if you can't breathe

You fell  slipped on the cats *****

Lost a tooth

"How dumb can you be not to catch yourself when I push you from behind?"

I want to say I don't have eyes in the back of my head

If I did I would know you where a worthless *******

Addicted to the memory of you
Telling secrets, hiding them in my lungs
Breathing tides of our love
As my teeth drink the moon
My emotional journey makes me a dreamer
A gypsy soul rations my will
Drinking the universe,  one with nature
Bare feet taken in the earths soil
A desire for freedom

I wish I could just stop breathing

I'm a special girl
You promised not to hurt
As the carpet becomes a wave
My stuffed animals kept me afloat
As I force my eyes shut
Pretending to be anywhere else but here
Counting the thrusts so I know how much longer
Hiding in a box under the blanket of shame  
Questing if the lord will still receive me

A eidolic intuition rummaged through my mind
As they placed the coffin in the living room
The limestone awaited to be inscribed
Let the North wind carry me away
As you visit me in a darkened room