please bite me.
sink your teeth,
into my flesh,
and drink up my anguish.
consume my agony.
drain me,
of the pain.

**** my veins dry,
until I am hollow,
and all left to do,
is fill me up,
with your love.

I scream until
my throat hurts
until the shrill noise
scratches my esophagus

I scream until
the pain numbs a bit

I scream until
I cry
tears streaming down my face

a skeleton
tried to **** me
in my sleep
i wonder
if he was so violent
in his past life

it would be easier
to not care at all
to not seek you out
for desire to dissipate
and blow in the wind
that way
I could fall right asleep
with no thought
of you

goodbye room
goodbye mountains
goodbye sun
goodbye loneliness

hello snow
hello cold
hello new opportunity

goodbye to the me
i was here

hello life
goodbye death

hello rain
goodbye pain

the light flickers,
everything in the room is illuminated,
only momentarily.
I wish I could see where I am,
it is all so unfamiliar.

the light's mischief is unsettling.
how dare it taunt me,
with the promise of sight,
when there is no such fulfillment.

hello?
are you there?
you never answer,
when I call out your name.
maybe your mind,
is somewhere else.
i hope,
your heart isn't too.

I haven't seen your face in days
We know it is better this way
I haven't seen your face in years

I long to be younger
Too naive to know
You weren't loving me
You were possessing me

Alone, cold, senseless
Your skin somehow felt warm
Under my fingertips
Focusing all my energy on you
Was, at first, euphoric
Soon the feeling was replaced
With an emptiness

Draining me of life
You carried on: complacent
Drugs and my presence
Stabilized your horrific being

Why do I still struggle
With keeping my life
Sanitized
So you can no longer
Infest it

bathing in my emotions
feeding my feelings
nurturing my neurosis

people are too far
they seem nothing like me

it's pouring outside.
water is collecting,
aside the sidewalk,
amongst the potholes,
and in drops,
atop my coat.

i wanna yell,
and scream,
but i'm stuck here,
watching the rain.

I know now,
That I was your home.
I'm sorry I kicked you out.
I'm sorry you're freezing;
I didn't know it was so cold outside.
I swear I didn't know it was pouring.

I don't think I can bear to look at you,
Through this window.
I don't know if you can tell,
But I'm sobbing as I draw the curtains.

everything you had said was so honest and sweet... but what I really wanted to hear was the thoughts you kept inside.

im looking for
a shift in emotion
people can sometimes
provide this motion

I am so cold,
Inside and out,
I suppose.
Like Jack Frost:
My heart as cold as my nose.
These holes in my jeans,
Do not help.

you said,
"it seems like you don't care,"
as tears streamed down my cheeks.
I kept trying to answer you,
but I couldn't breathe.

Your thoughts beautifully flower within the walls of your mind.
Affixed with thorns, I am nervous to touch them.
Fearful of a rose drawing blood,
I carefully survey the complexities that rage between your ears.

Yet, to uncover the exact meaning of the intricacies,
In your garden of speculations,
I must involve my own opinions and perspective.

But how am I to find myself,
While I am buried beneath the dirt of your living.

my head is pounding.
is it the presence,
of nicotine,
in my bloodstream?
or is it,
that too many thoughts are swirling about?
bashing into one another,
knocking each other out,
creating chaos in the walls of my skull.

my brooding force,
can I call you mine,
or is that audacious?
once so soft and welcoming,
I now feel your thorns,
poking and piercing my skin.
should I brush you away?
would you have that...
or would you draw blood?

I step toward you,
You pull away.
My heart shatters,
Glass scatters,
Everywhere.

your eyes,
tore into me,
and cut up,
my heart.
your words,
were no kinder,
and left me feeling crushed.

why is it so much easier to focus on someone else in the moment?
why is it so straining reverting back to solitude?
why is it so much more desirable to be in control of someone else's body, than your own?

you are lit up
and so far way
you cannot see
my light
is burnt out

Sometimes it seems,
You can't see,
Just how broken and alone,
I am.
When I fall,
I have no one to turn to.
You can't kick me.
I'll scream in isolation,
Rip myself apart,
And blame it all on me.