E McNamara

E McNamara Apr 2018

Maybe

Thinking about a man,
that chases God,
makes my heart pound.

maybe

#man #chases #god #heart #pound

E McNamara Apr 2018

I'm always here for you
Here, where I always am
Ready to be your shoulder
Or to be your laughter

And at the end of the day
My shoulders slump
And my smile decays
I always each out first

But, you're not good at texting back
To me
See, you're not good at being here
For me

Surrounded, I always seem
But only because I surround myself
Not because they surround me
So here I am

But don't worry
I'll always be there for you
Even if
You're never there for me.

It's exhausting, being happy and ready for everyone but yourself.

#kinda #alone

E McNamara Apr 2018

Will you be there for Me?

I've never been so afraid
Hidden beneath bed sheets
and no one to comfort me

I do not understand
How to let people see me cry
I just feel I need to hide

Not because of pride
but I feel I must always be okay
But usually, I am not okay

I get lost in my head
As I lay still in my bed
And alone, I always feel

No one to help me heal.

No one asks me if I'm okay.

#bed #alone #cry #heal #lost #head #feel #always #okay

E McNamara Apr 2018

But Even That

Mountains
Grown by mountains
Fire torn by land
The strength
Seems to be sand
But even that
Thirsts for water

Everything has a weakness.

#mountains #sand #desert #strength #fire #land #water #thirst #grow #weakness

E McNamara Apr 2018

She is Nothing (Part 1)

I scream at her.
I tell her she's ugly
And too loyal,
That she doesn't work hard enough.
She is not enough.
She is nothing.
I wail at her
That she is too open,
Too soft,
Too forgiving.
That everything she gets
She deserves.
I scream awful tears and hit her.
She shatters-
I stare at my bloodied hands and broken mirror.
I am nothing.

Part 2 will be about gaining confidence. :)

#selfhatred #workingonit #mirror #wail #ugly #deserve #hands #bloodied #iam

E McNamara Mar 2018

To Drink

So much depends
Upon

A river always
Flowing

Drop by drop
Dripping

Drink by drink
Living

Three then one.

#water #drink #river #life #drip #live #depend

E McNamara Mar 2018

Funny How

Funny how
You meant so much to me
I would lose my breath
When I only saw you
And now
I swallow air easily
You mean nothing to me
Funny how
I’m still writing poetry for you.
Some part of me
Must still love you.

Why do I still write poetry for you?

#poetry #him #you #nothing #funny #still #breath #swallow #love