You're right
Friendship is not always enough.
Today someone held my hand, and it did not feel like my hand belonged with his. I pulled away immediately because it felt wrong, disconnected, shallow, foreign.
Like puzzle pieces, our hands fit. Or used to.

Love letters prove that he can write more **** than he can speak it.

It breaks my heart to see you. I miss you so ******* much, and I can't accept the fact that I've lost you.
How sad, that in a space of a few days, we can go from being lovers to strangers.

I now know things are over with you. We both do, and it hurts me so much.
I should've just kissed you last night. Why didn't I just kiss you? Was it because I didn't want to hurt you further? Was it because I was scared how I would feel afterward?
I loved it when you held me. No one can touch me like you do.

Don't make yourself easy for me to love.
Tell me the darkest secrets of your soul, because I don't just want to know the part of yourself that you want to show me. I want to know all of you. I want to open the doors to your heart and walk through the hidden passages. I want to look into your eyes and see a part of you no one else has seen. I want to know your flaws and imperfections so that I can love them endlessly.
Don't be afraid that I will walk away from you. Once I have the key to your soul, I will guard it with my life.

I can already feel myself healing, growing, getting happier. It doesn't hurt so much when I see you because I know you are still in my life - for now.

Gone are the days when I knew you were mine forever.
But at least you are with me.

For now.

I wonder what my life will look like in ten years' time.
It scares me that the future is unknown, yet it thrills me.
I wonder what faces will surround me on a daily basis, if the people in my life now are merely passing through or if they are here to stay.
I contemplate what is permanent, and what is temporary.
I puzzle over what will occupy my time. How will I make a living? Will I be living? Will I wish I could relive my life ten years ago?
I pray God will stay with me, wherever my life leads me. I pray my wish comes true. I pray I will be living in true happiness and find true love.
I think everyone deserves that in this life, at least.

It broke my heart when I saw you cry.
We may as well be strangers, but at that moment I didn't care.
I wanted to run to you and demand that you give me some of your pain so you didn't have to feel it all. I could see you dying under the weight of it and I wanted nothing more than to save your precious soul.

Pain is a burden and it is unavoidable. It will never leave us alone; it will lurk around us like a dark omen and keep us in the shadows until we give into the screaming in our head and just
Feel it.
It killed me to see you suffer and know there was nothing I could do but stand helpless.

Just for one moment, I thought things would work out.
Just for one moment, it seemed
Perfect.

And now I'm up at 1AM with tears dripping down my cheeks thinking if I have imagined it all.

The thought of you makes me feel, think and wonder a thousand things.

1) I wonder what goes through your mind. I wonder if I consume your thoughts like you do mine. I want to know your hopes, dreams, plans. Tell me all of it.

2) I feel warm, like the heat of a blazing fire. I feel it radiating from my soul when I think of your eyes. How strange to describe an emotion as warm. But I'm being truthful.

3) I feel blissful. I feel like I have found a purpose to live and to love. I feel content when I think about your arms and know that it won't be long until they find me again.

4) I see hope. Hope that I can spend the future with you, that we can go on adventures and see the world together with your hand in mine. I hope that we can build memories that we will never forget.

5) Know that you are special. You are not just any other person in my life. You have crossed my path for a reason. You may never know what that reason is. But I know. Trust me, I know.

6) I smile. The thought of you makes me smile. It makes the corners of my lips twitch ever so slightly. Not many people can do this to me. You are very special.

7) You are mine. Not for forever, but for now. And that is enough.

34 days
And I still go to sleep thinking about you.

34 days
And I still wake up thinking about you.

34 days
And I still can't seem to shake the memory of you away.

I wonder when these feelings will fade.

I hope one day we can see each other and feel no pain at all.
I hope one day we can laugh like we used to and feel no sadness.
I hope one day we can look at old photos of us and not feel any regret.

They say time is the best medicine. I hope it heals us both.

I hope we can pick up the pieces
And heal together, grow stronger together.
I miss your friendship more than anything in the world.
We can build it together again. We can try pick up where we left off.
But that will require space and time.

Like many others have told me
Time heals all wounds.

Now I know what true heartache feels like
Watching someone you love talk about someone else.
Today I experienced a different type of pain
A pain that made me fight back tears
And when I closed the door behind me
They fell to the floor.

Drip, drip, drip.

Who needs drugs and alcohol to get ******
Love can do that for you.

It's easy to catch feelings for someone, however
Because I am close to doing the same
I just need to find him.
And then hopefully my hurt and pain for you
Will transform into love for someone else.

Writing poetry at midnight because I can't fathom the thought of losing you.
Somehow I hope you find this and read all my words unspoken.

We are together, yet we are not meant to be together.
I am terrified of hurting you more than I can love you. Your happiness is all that matters to me and I hate the fact I am giving you sad happiness, I can never give you joy without the pain.
You don't deserve that.
We love each other so much that it is dangerous, it's toxic love. The type of love that we both know isn't right, yet we carry on drowning in it anyway.

I am afraid of giving you my heart.
If there is one thing I will detest myself for being, it is vulnerable.
I can't stand giving someone the power to destroy me. I will avoid that at all costs, which is maybe why I can't love you.

I don't trust you. I love you, but I can't trust you with something as fragile and dangerous as my heart.
And the sad thing is, I don't think I ever will. Your heart is wild and open and is home to many people.
Mine is just for you.
And if one day you leave, then it will be a big hole of nothingness.
Empty.

And I can't let that happen to myself.

I have never felt so blissfully happy in my life.
My days are perfect when I'm with you.
You fill them with endless joy and I
Love you so much for it.

Let me use his love to spark the fire that you once had scorching in my heart.

Nothing worth having comes easy.

And then there's you.
Where to even begin?
I can't explain my own feelings towards you, but hopefully I can write about them.
I hate you.
I hate your cutting words.
I hate how they charm everyone and how you can fool them, like you did so similarly to me.
I hate that you broke me, destroyed me.
Yet I can't help but be thankful for all you've put me through, because I am no longer weak and naive to the world. You've given me a taste of what its like to feel wounded.
I hate that I love you. I might still possibly love you. I didn't love you while I had you, but I loved you more so than ever once I left you.
And why? Why should I even give you my love? You don't deserve it, most definitely not. I should love someone who understands me and loves me for who I am, not someone who never accepted me.

Maybe the reason why I am confused is because I am craving love.
Someone who can make my heart beat faster. Someone who can make my palms sweaty. Someone who can make me smile at the very thought of them.
Because right now, my only memories of that include you.
And that is what keeps on bringing me back to you.
God, I hate you.
I hate how you make me feel.

your body against mine is one of the purest sensations
and I really can't get enough of you.

My head loves you, but my heart loves him.

Unconditional love is possibly one of the rarest things to come across in this ****** up world.
I have found it.
It is in the palm of my hands; I can feel it.
Please don't mess this up.
Please don't throw it away.

Appreciation.

I love you. Every piece of you.
Every dark and light thought.

Emptiness is a feeling, too.

Words being whispered are often far more powerful than words being said.

i sometimes feel as if growing older
has done me more harm than good.

it killed my innocence
my naiveness
my purity
my ability to not think.

but mostly it killed the way my brain could make colours
and the way i saw love
and the way i saw life.

Call me completely and utterly crazy
But when you just look across the room and meet eyes with someone
You either feel something
Or you don't.

I felt something inside of me that I have never felt before.

Your soul is beautiful and warm and radiant.
Thank you for being my sun.

Trust life's timing.
If it was meant to be, it will be.

Love is the best actor; it's always pretending.

I am in a labyrinth in my mind.*

An endless maze, of lefts and rights and turns and corners
It stretches on, and just when I think I have reached the end, I toss myself back in
And it all looks the same
Yet so bizarrely different
I'm trying to find you
And I have such a longing to find you
But yet I know I am so, so lost
And I don't know *how
And I want instructions - where do I go?
Is there a destination I must reach?
Is there a lesson to be learned?
A turning point?
Is time the only factor?
I don't want to be lost.
I want to find you.

Please, let me find you.
I want to find myself.

You are probably the biggest hypocrite I have ever met.
I have had nothing but your best interests at heart. It's sad to know that you don't return the favour, but that's okay.

I'll prove to you how much I don't need you.

I have started to fall in love with dreaming, because every night there is a chance I get to see you. There is a chance I get to talk to you, for you to hold me, and they are all such happy dreams.

I feel things when I dream. I feel so impossibly happy when I'm with you. My heart beats faster in my dreams when you tell me that you miss me. It is so close to reality, it is honestly so scary how vivid it is.

I think the worst part is when I wake up. I wake up and this feeling of incredible pain overwhelms me. I look at the time and see if I can quickly fall back to my dreams again so I can see you one last time. But when it's time for me to wake up, I rise with a heart heavier than stone.

love is messy
it is not perfect. it is a rollercoaster; a ******* wild ride.

it goes up, up, up and then when you think it can't get any better, it crashes and tumbles and suddenly you're left at 3am crying intertwined between tear stained pillows and crumpled empty bed sheets.

it goes down, down, down and then one hug makes you realise that home is his arms and that hearing his heartbeat is like hearing your favourite song and that a kiss planted on your forehead makes you feel as if heaven truly exists.

don't expect it to be even. don't expect it to be monotone.
it is anything but that. if you want a true love, it will be a wild love.

I'm used to poison in my mouth
I'm used to the toxicity in the air
I thought it was all I deserved
And I was trapped in the midst of it all
It's strange that I have come across a cool river to wash me away and take me to some place new

And now
Things are easier
Gentler
Natural
Simpler
And I never want to leave this place
I feel free
And finally
Happy.

What saddens me deeply are people who have to hide pain.
The happiest of people are the most broken inside, the widest smiles carry the deepest sorrows, the most cheerful laughs disguise the bitterest cries.
It's sad how we automatically judge people we don't know based on appearance. The reality is, we don't know how they're feeling, what they've been through, and we most certainly don't have the right to label them based on what we see.

Please be a kind human.
Everyone is fighting their own battle.

I still dream of you.
How ******* frustrating! I can't escape you! You're in my thoughts constantly throughout the day, and you haunt me in my sleep.
I dream of you, of us still together and it kills me because it just seems so real.
You probably don't even think of me as much as I think of you. You don't even want to know how much I actually think of you. I still worry about you constantly, I still care about you, and it breaks me.
It breaks me.
It breaks me because I have to pretend I don't care. It breaks me because I have to pretend that I'm fine.
You were the first person who I loved. The first person who held me, who loved me. I can't let go of you that easily.
I just need to escape you and I don't know how.

I chase your love around in circles.
I always want more. Give me love, give me affection, because it's what I crave most.

I love the feeling of you lying next to me. Hold me in your arms and never let me go. Keep me near your heart because I love the sound of it.

Touch me with your gentle fingers and hold my hand in yours.
I just want your love, and I find true happiness in the knowledge that I have it.

When I see you
It's like time freezes for a little while
I feel my body get rigid and tense
Because the blood coarsing through my veins feels the fire burning with hurt and love and hatred and passion.
I act like everything is fine, but inside.
Inside of me I can feel my heart beating faster as if danger is approaching. I can feel my hands sweat and my back stiffen.
I want to speak to you
But I know I'll never say the words I want to say.
And why should I, anyway?
Whats the point?
You don't love me anyway. You never did.

Be different. Be insane. Embrace the music your heart sings and the wild creature that is trapped between your ribcage.

Know that you are different, and that is okay. You are unique. God placed you on this earth for a reason, and that reason was not to blend in. You are your own perfect self.

Sing the song that resides in your soul. Have no shame. Let the world know that your voice is one to be heard. And if no one can hear your shouts, then

Scream.

Love is a ruthless game.
I dare you to play it.

Take a chance
Open up your soul to another person.
Give them a part of you.
They can hurt you, love you, break you.
They can leave you feeling alive
Or empty.

If you play it right, you will be rewarded.
But be warned: play it wrong, and you are asking for death.

It's unforgivingly dangerous.
You should play it though. There's a chance you'll like it.