so you must be another
reader
just about to pass this poem
well, you shouldn't

think about this
to yourself
while i explain
this to you

you, my friend,
are a human being
with a collection
of assorted thoughts

creativity blooms
from your mind
im sure you probably write
some good poetry too

here,you are
reading this poem
probably thinking
that this isnt all that good

but my dear,
you are not just creativity,
you are your experiences
that have occurred in the past
and will occur in the future
you are your relationships
whether they are true love
or heartbreak
you are every poem,
you have ever read
every feeling you have ever
felt
you are your thoughts
your words.
yourself.

you are not your body.
you are made of far bigger than that.
you are your soul

now that i have told
you this
do not
lose touch of who you are

every smile,
every hug,
every kiss,
should be you

every word
every sentence
every laugh
should feel so important

it should represent love.

and love should be you.

(b.d.s.)

i guess its another beginning of a new year
another year has gone
as another one is dragged itself in
the beginning of the unchanging
i dont really know how to feel about it
whether to consider the good or the bad
but one thing for certain is that
i will love
and will lose
like i do every
year
it is the unchanging pattern
it is my fate
another year of lies
jealousy and hatred
i could cry
or i could not
(im not really sure yet)
i am alone
bloodshot eyes and all
i want to be better
i cry for it
but i dont how to achieve it
instead i turn for the worse
there is no end
i really want this year
to be something
hopefully
i can
actually do it without ever messing up
(b.d.s.)

i am
on my death bed
waiting for to all stop
waiting for this memory called life just to end

my spiritual drug
has already seeped into me
its already too late
im paralyzed

everything gets hazy
minute by minute
all these faces
so many dark figures

could it be someone that i know?

its the unknown
i have become afraid of it
i try to run
but it is only a lost cause

im only dead

i have drifted on the parallels
universes of the raging seas
of my mind
its too late
to leave
i have entered and
there is no end

the fantasies of words
and the never-ending
breaths between syllables
its far too late

love is gone
love is not real
all lies.
(b.d.s.)

pierce my heart
see my lies
there is a pain that i cant deny

rest your blade
between my heart and
my eyes
and so you may see my twisted insides

love that is taken away
is more powerful
than a love that
was gently broken

a brain shattered
by loss
does not help
a weak heart

you ripped the skin
above my forehead
and dripping with blood
you watched as my body shuddered

i begged you to stop
you said no
i asked why?
you said it had been in the name of love

i believed you.

you continued to pierce
this time into my brain
you remain insistant
that all will be better soon

i screamed
and i wailed
from the agony
i could not see

but,
i believed you.

you had one final cut
left to give
you said it was your favourite
and that it would be mine too

you took your wretched blade
and made an incision in my heart
breaking everything that once held
all the memories, all the pain

that was when i stopped believing your lies.

this cut
had been just too agonizing
it cut off the circulation between
mind and body

i could no longer
feel the feelings
that i once did
i missed that

no remorse
no anger
no pain
no love

you had taken away
euphoria chaos
called love
i never could look at anyone
ever the same

that pain
never faltered
even when
you left amongst the shadows

(b.d.s.)

i am lost
lost in thought
am i lost

where am i
i am where
am i where

paralyzed by eunoia
lost in dreams
please help me find what i mean

(b.d.s)

i sit quietly
as i write a verse of poetry
in my notebook

faint whispers
are everywhere calling
my name

i just ignore them

i have started
on my second verse
and the whispers increase
with intensity

i begin to write quickly
in my notebook
these whispers
increase and begin to
sound like the hissing of a snake

is this a dream?

"oh my gosh no one even likes her"
"she's such a *****"
"ew she writes poetry"
"ugh shut up already"

i then hear a
shriek
i turn around to see who it is
but except everyone looking at me

oh its me.

i become infuriated
and continue screaming
everything becomes hazy
im not here

i repeat
in a trance
"always remember what they said and let it go"

i see blurs of  faces
some i know
some i dont know

i close my eyes
and say adieu
goodbye.

i hear them say
"what could have we done"
or "why did she die"
or merely a "who was she"

i hear
someone read aloud
the words from my notebook
death by the society

(b.d.s.)

i recount all my wishes
to the sun
but it radiates them
back to the unforgiving ground

i tell all my hopes
to the moon
it keeps them amongst its stars
it is my keeper


i express the untellable grief
to the approaching sunrise
it holds my feelings
for i have lost my identity

the sun continues to rise
for it is too late
humanity has now
returned to the ground it has once came

the dirt holds
the new identity of the lost souls
giving them a voice
that the world before never did
(b.d.s.)

la petit morte
a little death.
yes.

this state of delirium
brought through the tender touch
as two parts of two different faces
connect to be one

two different faces
two different worlds
yet they are one
breathing and living

this connection
strong as wire
light and effortless
like a carefree endless dream

a dream that never ends.

a little death
washes over me
like a calm wave

moans echo through the walls
forgotten words
are lost in desires
wants.
fantasies.


(b.d.s.)

my chaotic mind
wars at the thought
that you may not
love me

i cant barely stand
the thought of it
but
it is possible

i will love you endlessly
like the way the ocean
crashes waves of
passionate emotion

i cant get enough
despite the voice
telling me it is wrong
to love you

you act as a
vial of morphine
you allow me
to feel the rush of
love

i only want a taste
of your love
allow me to
make love to
your love

(b.d.s.)

a girl sits in the
void of her anxiety
she hopes for light
a dream of falsification

she has become
something that she
never was

she is trapped
in the box
of darkness

she is i
i am she
i feel her pain
her agony

i scream
as she screams
i see her
moan death's name

i touch the box
where her face
should have been
i whisper inaudibly


i see her emotionless eyes
murky secrets lie inside
her hands form fist on the glass
all while a smile creeps on her face


i scream
as she smiles
'its only for good'
she breaks the glass

and time freezes

the glass shards
seep in my heart
i scream loudly
im trapped in her fatal heart


i get swallowed
by her deadly smirk
i am overcome
i am only dead

(b.d.s.)

strum my love strings
they are aching to be strummed
be the verse to my refrain

a song is not complete without melody
just as the heart is not complete without love
my heart is like a table for two
with one chair ready
inviting you to stay

be that first note
in my heart's song
it is waiting for you
to begin

(b.d.s)

i seem to be a lucid dreamer
at times;
constantly finding you in me

why do i like to dream about
the "could be's"
and the "never was"
as if it brought great joy to me

i seem to be a constant thinker
most times;
i can hardly think straight

through every nerve in my brain
it remembers every memory
of you
with ease

i seem to be a violent lover
all the time;
as if love is my crime

my soul had handcuffed
my heart
cutting every connection
of you

i seem to be nothing at all
i barely remember;
what is like to be loved now

i am a tiny flake
of dust
just breezing through
the depths of your mind

(b.d.s.)

thoughts are an endless stream
of rhythms and melodies
stating emotions the mouth can not express

thoughts bridge the space
between here and now
and longs for the uncreated memories
of eternity

thoughts make the writer wise
every time they write
thoughts also show the fool
their foolish ways

(b.d.s.)

he just knew
when he saw her with her
porcelain skin
he bet her heart
would crack
because it too
was made of porcelain

he touched her hands
they were ice cold
he had gauzed them with the
thickest cotton he could find

he promised her that
he would never let her go
even though she cried
"let me go"

he  accidently fiddled
and little by little
he had let her go

he did this
not because of lack of love
because he had been a man of love
not a man of words

his actions told more.

he had been born of
with weak fingers
but yet had a strong heart
and couldn't let her go

so then when he saw the
girl with the pretty porcelain skin
he promised to never let go

(b.d.s.)

i made love to your poetry
and it made love to me
its words lightly caress
the body that once felt

i made love to your poetry
and it made love to me
its dead verses
filled a body so insensate

i made love to your poetry
and it didnt make love to me
meaningless letters
had only resided

   within the deepest depths
                                      and corners of
                                                             my murky  m  i  n  d  ...
                      ­                                      (b.d.s.)

kiss me
like it was
the last thing
you ever want

kiss me
so hard
you fall in
state of delirium

kiss me
like it was
your dying wish

i am the
artist
of
your
sins

i
am
your
endless
temptation

i
am
your
last
dying
kiss
(b.d.s.)

the needle
is dipped in blood
not mine
but yours;
the blood of your broken heart

the blood
leaves trails of lines
like tally marks
showing how many hearts
you've broken

these tally marks will never be
erased;
they shall burden your soul with regret

the needle perforates
your most intimate parts of your mind
the ones hidden deep in your heart

the needle will never cease
your blood is
on your forehead
in clear crisp words
is written

A F R A I D

(b.d.s.)

everywhere is white.
white is all i see.
it is beautiful.

as i look out my window
these tiny orbs of white
float towards the ground

these little circles
magnetize towards the ground
like they were meant to be one

i look at these white drops
and think about how this could be
our destiny

this could be us
we can form from little round circles
and turn out to be

a great big snowball.

(b.d.s.)

if only the shadows would
choke me
and make me suffocate
just to serve my adoring present self


if i could
i would want to die
by the power of myself
and beating of my breaking heart

i want to be swallowed
by the deadly crimson
blood of my boiling veins
it is my only dying wish

(b.d.s.)

you closed my eyes
and lit a cigarette
and put it in my mouth
telling me i was beautiful

you whispered in my ears
and rubbed the cigarette ashes
on my lips
as you loved me harder

my light, you said
had seemed to light up
your whole night
effortlessly and with a passion

it seemed like
darkness did not fight no more
and it loved the light more than anything before

you finally kissed my cheek
and uncovered my eyes
while putting out the cigarette
telling me

how much i am yours.
(b.d.s.)

darkness is everywhere
but yet its nowhere

the hazy surreal
quality of the midnight sky
sweeps the bare desolate terrain
like mystical rain

distorted images
lie everywhere
confusing me
i cant see

i want to be one
consistent balance
with the stars and the moon
but also with you

the moon
sees its own shadow
casting on the rolling waves
it is afraid

colour is now sleeping
as black and white
is just awaking
as the grey
aches, just ceasing to make the
next day

are you like the moon?
thats my question to you.

or are you just an image
just lurking in the murky water?

(b.d.s.)

let me love you
i want to love you
im breaking right now
but you never see

its overwhelming me
i dont know how much i can take
my heart cant go on

what have i done wrong?
where did things go for the worse?
my heart is bleeding
it is aching for you

let me love you
till it hurts ..
i want  you to
let me love you
i want us to be satisfied

lets be infinitely forever.

(b.d.s)