the crisp of the letters I collect from you
is the new scent I'm gonna bottle up
and feed it with light and wind;
I long for you for years and years
and i wonder do you still remember
my name.
the fluff of your sweater
is still hanging inside my closet
with dried rose you gave me
with blood stain around the collar
and I wonder do you still remember
the color of my eyes
the address seems to not exist
the number was inactive
and I tried to detect you through globe
through places you said you'll go to
someday
and I found you with different eyes
and different smile
and different hand you hold on
and I knew I never stayed in your mind
ever since

why don't I have a real job how can i
be this scared to go back to school i
want to move away but i can't go to
portland like i wanted to because that
was ryan's thing i wonder if he'll still
move there will he take her or will they
break up before then or maybe they'll
get married and stay here because
eyelit is here which means i definitely
need to move away is he going to
propose with a banjo pick like he did
with me or will he get her a real ring
"you put that on the wrong finger" "i'm
not trying to do that yet" "did you hear
that megan he said 'yet'" i miss your
friends and your mom and i can't
stand that i'm not allowed to talk to
them anymore why didn't you pick me
why didn't you pick me why didn't
you pick me god you told me you
loved me you told me you wanted a
farm and kids and a garden why did
you do this to me i loved you so much
i could have filled the ocean with the
contents of my heart that belonged to
you i hate you i hate you i hate