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234 · Oct 2020
Haiku 5: Panes
Filomena Oct 2020
see through hardened panes
watching nature's ebb and flow
inside out snow globe
Psych ward poetry #3
233 · Nov 2020
Haiku 9: Again
Filomena Nov 2020
Here we go again
Man, this **** really ***** ***
They say I need it
Psych ward poetry #9. (Second set)
233 · Jan 22
My Enchantress
Filomena Jan 22
Your words are spells,
bewitching me
by means
beyond my comprehension.

Your eyes are jewels
by which
you hypnotize my senses.

Your voice, your lips,
a rose's scent
that beckons me
toward its sweetness.

I hope you realize
your love
is what completes me.
231 · Aug 2022
A Door
Filomena Aug 2022
When I say you're adorable,
I mean I adore you.
And my wordplay is horrible,
But I'll try to write more for you.

When I say you're a cutie,
It's not just a fluke.
I don't use the word loosely,
I'm telling the truth.

Just a glance in your eyes
Wakes a primal desire
Like a ballad that flies
From a darkly tuned lyre

By your side I find comfort
In your arms is my home
Even if others scatter
Never leave me alone
222 · Nov 2020
To quote Diogenes...
Filomena Nov 2020
"One original thought is worth
A thousand mindless quotings"

One familiar spot is full
Of countless concepts floating

In and out and around again
And though each thought is fleeting

It takes a while to find my pen
And I find my mind repeating
Psych ward poetry #10 (Second set)
218 · Aug 2022
Scribbles of Missing You
Filomena Aug 2022
My glasses are *****.
The clock says six thirty.
My brain is real flirty.
I'm missing my man.

With scribbles so wordy,
I sit here so boredly.
I miss him so sorely.
We'll meet when we can.
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 57.
217 · Apr 2022
You Make Me
Filomena Apr 2022
You make me easy
and I make you hard
You can't help but tease me
When I let down my guard

I get all flustered
And stammer and sigh
And see love in the luster
Of light in your eye
214 · Apr 2022
Holding
Filomena Apr 2022
I'm holding tightly to your hand
Before dissolving into sand

I always keep you in my mind
Before my memory goes blind

I linger in a tender kiss
I know full well I'll sorely miss

I love you-- Need to make it clear
Before the moments disappear
213 · Mar 2023
mi ante.
Filomena Mar 2023
mi ante.

tenpo pini la, mi ante.
tenpo tawa la, mi ante.
tenpo kama la, mi ante.
tenpo ale la, mi ante.

mi en sina li ante.
jan ante li ante.
ante mi tu li ante,
tawa ante jan ante.

sijelo en lawa li ante.
kon en telo li ante.
ko en kiwen li ante.
ma en sewi li ante.

ale li ante.
kin la, ante li ante.
tenpo ale la,
ante li sama.
213 · Oct 2020
Inside out and Backwards
Filomena Oct 2020
What can I do
If my birthday suit
Is inside out and backwards?

What can I say
If every day
I'm forced to be an actor?

Why should I be
Where they'd rather see
Me hanging from a rafter?

How can I live
And just forgive
The ones who call me *******?

Am I preordained
To wear this chain
Keep living like a captor?

Where should I flee
If all I see
Is one endless tragic chapter?
Psych ward poetry #5
210 · May 2022
Stressing Incessantly
Filomena May 2022
I'm stressing incessantly
And obsessing unpleasantly
Second-guessing at pleasantries
I'm progressing, but hesitantly

My headspace is mangled
And my thought strings all tangled
My bootstraps finangled
My hands shackled and strangled

I move forward, but slowly
With my forehead hung lowly
Whisper words for the lonely
Like my birdsong, if only
209 · Nov 2023
Skribu
Filomena Nov 2023
Vorto sugestas objekton.
Frazo komunikas rilaton.
Paragrafo diras historion.
Ĉapitro montras vivon.
Libro enhavas mondon.
205 · Nov 2018
Title Text
Filomena Nov 2018
society will **** me.
so will reclusivity
192 · May 20
Kánóka
Filomena May 20
ja kā o Kánóka? ja Kánóka o kā?
ja kei got ba fo nok za tu zon zak de ska?
i sai pen ni je ben ni je tet ni po zbu.
ju na lok ni no tok ni nãu qok ni de tsu.

ju no vol ni so dol ni qo don de so klu.
je qeu tet ni põ fet ni e sol ze e plu.
juja kā nia Kánóka ki vei ni sai blu?
i zon go deu sat qe deu lup qe deu dqu.

Where is Paradise? And Paradise is where?
Can you stand in the land where all colors are fair?
I wonder, I wander, I try to discover,
But I guess I am less than untouchable other.

But I don't like complaining all day without fail,
So I try to enjoy both the head and the tail.
So then, where is my Paradise that I find so fair?
With love, and with friendship and help. It is there.
Original poem in Xextan, translated into English.
178 · Jul 2023
Five Years of Freedom
Filomena Jul 2023
I wish things could've been different.
I wish I hadn't had my psychology turned inside out for others' convenience and personal religious convictions.
I wish I hadn't internalized those convictions and turned them against myself and others.
I wish the doubts that were planted in me didn't come back again and again like a destructive **** in the garden of my existence.
I wish I could convince myself once and for all that I'm allowed to just be.

But here I am. I might as well try.
173 · May 2022
Squeak
Filomena May 2022
It's fun to be a freak
Just be sure you don't look weak
Because before you even speak
They'll be quick with their critique

Yeah, it's fine to be unique
But if safety's what you seek
Make the necessary tweak
Before you end up in the creek
170 · Jan 31
o tut de lun u zgiqbu...
Filomena Jan 31
o tut de lun u zgiqbu
je dza sua *** kai zgilen tak te zon
i qdu qe xek nau tepzi tek o ***
je zuk bau *** nau zal po sli de ple
i sli bau *** xai daltep. i nefu lo sinpok
je plo qe txitup le za xak de zok.
i lan lo xilpok sondal xle de papkin gu
ke xel de lit pe sin je dzo le kai papkit
fi no vol fai dan pe xil. i nak lo lupko
pe qippli kai ben je sku le zgi fi zetfu
peu tu lot pe lia gelúp. i xek ne lutnik
sku de qak xik je xnukek le kai xta
i lutfu peu zanxo je pindal qe xne peu luttak
je sik le po zan do ple de notlen
vou nau zal do ple de pel. i lan lo vipnik
je xle le *** sai xel de txixo bon
i kul lia lot je bel lia xnu pe gul
i xel le sui kep ze skuxo bon qe sin
je slizuk le fi ti. i xen o liofu
e xalzen xle de nokfuk pap
i vit le so fo tul je xle le kin
je zni sai dal lia *** gexpá qe lal
za lia qla xal je lia takson dqi qe dal zoi
xen go zno e son pe sin je ***
go e pe zgitul kon. i nak to del
ke fin de skuxo xik qe xel de ske
i zno po sinpokfu je qdu do sua ke bon
i sak xto i sak lot i sak ska i sak zat
This is a Xextan translation of the "All the world's a stage" speech, from Shakespeare's "As You Like It"
163 · Mar 2022
Pitter Patter
Filomena Mar 2022
Your pitter patter doesn't matter
The maddest hatter's just a quack.

If you can stand her, take a gander
In your stranger's candy sack.

No-one knows her; lazy dozer
Hangs her clothes up on a rack.

Tired of betting, now regretting
Never getting chances back.
162 · May 4
Blows to the Head
Filomena May 4
I don't understand this.
You don't understand these.
The Cowboy is a city kid.
The City Kid is me.

I was nothing. Now I'm something.
Wish I wasn't. Woe is me.
Why should I be anything?
The pain will set me free.

Blows to the head!
Blows to the head!
Blows to the head!
Blows to the head!

They say it's always getting better,
but it's never good enough.
The window pane is getting wetter.
Dry it off and toughen up.

Blows to the head!
Blows to the head!
Blows to the head!
Blows to the head!

The sun was set, but now it's rising.
Raging fires have fallen low.
But wait till darkness comes reprising,
and blazing flames in flurries flow.

Blows to the head!
154 · Nov 2023
zgitak
Filomena Nov 2023
vol tak ni zgi
i vol ni tak peu nel do ni
je vol ni tak peu lupxo wi
ja nel qe lup ni we 'e ka?
i lup ni wi 'e vo
151 · Aug 2022
Reflections
Filomena Aug 2022
Reflections I've seen
in the pool of the self

Whenever my glasses
come down from the shelf

With changing distortions
that ripple and swell

The smallest of pebbles
can shatter my shell
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 6.
149 · Mar 2022
Merde d'Artiste
Filomena Mar 2022
Yes! That's it!
I'll sell my ****!
Packed up in tin!
I'll be a hit!

For all the art
My mind creates
Amounts to ****
My reason hates

But if you'd like
To feel confused
Then take a look
Or just peruse!
After midnight Mar. 5/6, 2022
147 · May 2023
An Anthem
Filomena May 2023
Did I have something you wanted?
Did our figures cast a spell?
Or did forces unaccounted
Make our turbid rivers swell?

Did you hear a warning ringing
Like the striking of a bell?
While I heard a dryad singing
From a shining wishing well?

Were the waves too much to manage?
Was the whistle's pitch too high?
Did the volume make you panic?
Did the brightness hurt your eyes?

When the burning of the spotlight
Fell upon us like a stage
Did the harshness of the drama
Feel restrictive like a cage?

*******
I want to understand it
Like a firefly, you vanish
But I love you all the same

No matter
Between our idle chatter
Were the whispered words "you had her"
Acantha is your name

Did you think "I don't deserve it"
When I called you by your name?
Did you feel like you're not worth it?
Like our hearts don't weigh the same?

Girl, you know I want to show you
All the love your heart deserves
Want to be the ground below you
When life overwhelms your nerves

I wish that you could hear me
And I wish my words got through
Cause you've done your share of fearing
Want to show you something new

Soon I hope that you'll believe it
That the world belongs to you
But for now I'll have to leave it
Cause there's nothing I can do

*******
I want to understand it
Like a firefly, you vanish
But I love you all the same

No matter
Between our idle chatter
Were the whispered words "you had her"
Acantha is your name

I sorrow for your pain
Acantha is your name

No knowing who's to blame
Acantha is your name

I love you all the same
Acantha is your name
A song
140 · Aug 2022
Spin on a Classic
Filomena Aug 2022
What are big girls made of?
Liquor with bubbles
That gets you in trouble.

What are big boys made of?
Stories and jokes
To bring home to your folks.

And what is the purpose of love?
To have a good time,
Without resorting to crime.
Psych ward poetry
Set 3, poem 55.
139 · Aug 2022
Metaphorical
Filomena Aug 2022
Metaphorical deformity
Malformation of the mind
Forms a horrible majority
Of my metaphysical bind
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 59.
137 · Oct 2020
Haiku 8: Anticipation
Filomena Oct 2020
anticipation
energy is mounting high
waiting for discharge
Psych ward poetry #8
135 · Jan 2023
Un-Friend
Filomena Jan 2023
Really, girl? I swear to god.
You want to act like you're my friend?
You want to ask me for my thoughts?
Pretend they matter in the end?

Why should I even give a ****?
That wouldn't make an ounce of sense.
You say my kind should not exist.
Engage your brain's intelligence.

Please try to find self-honesty.
Who taught you all the crap you preach?
Is ethics a plutocracy?
You really think that's heaven's speech?

A fun fact now, so perk your ears.
There's several billion narcissists
All peddling the same appeals.
"My god is real! His will is this!"

Your pastor has no special call.
You haven't found the chosen few.
But since you won't hear sense at all,
I sadly can't be "friends" with you.
134 · May 2023
Napolilita
Filomena May 2023
Napolilita - What a gal!
I see her sitting with her pal
Beside a secret strait canal
Composing quite a queer chorale

I hear the one begin to sing
About a dear forbidden thing
Surrounded by the flowers of spring
The other simply listening

In both their eyes I see a fire
Of hope for half fulfilled desire
As one the other does admire
And hopes to happiness inspire

They listen to relieve their pain
Weighed down by such uncommon strain
Connected by their spirits twain
They guard their hearts from being slain
For M.
May 2022.
132 · Aug 2022
Resurrection
Filomena Aug 2022
I was taught of resurrection
Of body and of mind, yet
On the side of insurrection
Is where you're going to find me at

They told me of the implication
Of my moral bind
But now I've lost infatuation
With them and all their kind
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 42.
123 · Mar 2023
Comp
Filomena Mar 2023
Comprehensive yet incomprehensible
Representing the unrepresentable
Neither tangible nor intangible
Both realistic and somehow fanciful

I fear safety's endangerment
In trust of well-known strangers bent
On straightening my parity
I lie with all sincerity
123 · May 2023
The Hills
Filomena May 2023
Up to the hills
I lift my eyes
The light and shadow plays

I feel the chills
That slowly rise
I see a soul ablaze

I want, I will
I coincide
The union of a gaze

If looks could ****
If time could hide
And hold its breath a phase

Know me, Slowly
Holy folly
Simple, sinful
Flint and kindle

Sowing, flowing
Slowing, glowing
Ahead a memory
Ember red
122 · Jul 2023
The Wall
Filomena Jul 2023
...The wall is white    The hall is long
  By stifling light    I crawl along

      I flick the switch    The lights go out
    Ahead in pitch    I hear a shout

Familiar voices     Calling me
The darkest choice     Is all I see        

         But moving on     The way to find
           Escape from all     The days in mind

A slice of my     Eternity
            Perpetually     Returns to be

                   The ruler of     My consciousness
           The cruelest of     All punishments
Psych Ward Poetry
Set 4, Poem 5
120 · Jan 2022
Right Now!
Filomena Jan 2022
Sometimes you wait and nothing happens.
That's why I'm not waiting.
Nov. 2018
118 · Nov 2018
(re)Associate
117 · Jul 2023
Live before Death
Filomena Jul 2023
Live with passion
Die with grace
Shove it in your rival's face

Self improvement
Out of spite
To fill up anger's appetite

Burning for
A greater light
Is better than a losing fight
Psych Ward Poetry.
Set 4, poem 2
116 · Jun 2023
A Muse
Filomena Jun 2023
You're my music
You're my cooling breeze
My song along the way...

You're my rose
My shade among the trees
My ***** bright as day...

You're my sunlight
You're my lunar guide
The hero of my play...

You're my love
I need you by my side
I've been too long away...

You're my universe
My everything
My night sky, gold and gray...

Though circumstances stand between
My love will not delay.
116 · Aug 2022
Babble
Filomena Aug 2022
I heard a babbler
Yelling in the wind
Inviting all
To be absolved of sin

He talked of God
And of His Holy Powers
At length, and captively
I heard for hours

But even after
Listening and thought
The Word I heard
To me,
Means close to Naught
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 3.
116 · Jul 2022
Appraisal
Filomena Jul 2022
A piece of potential
Worth more than a life?
Yet ever essential
The needle and knife

Though you keep on sounding
The drum and the fife,
Our pushback compounding
Won't shy from your strife

Do you see mere utensils
In your daughter and wife?
No piece of potential's
Worth more than their life.
116 · Oct 2022
Play
Filomena Oct 2022
The day-one workshop is a crib
The start of learning how to live
You learn mechanics and the rules
And hopefully some useful tools
To be effective, understood
And maybe be a force for good

Scenarios get more complex
The writers seem to want to vex
And if you've got no script to use
The reflex could be to abuse
But rather than resort to hate
It's best to firstly calibrate

Who cares how much success you've got?
Just go compose a thrilling plot!
It's all ridiculous, I know
But maybe you'll enjoy the show
And I hope that someone throws you roses
Before your final curtain closes
113 · Nov 2018
Presented Without Comment
112 · Dec 2020
Flowers for Mrs. Shade
Filomena Dec 2020
Dear Mrs. Shade,
Unlike these flowers
Through days and hours
Your spirit's weight
Shall not abate
Nor shall your memory fade
Poem for an old childhood friend who has gone on.
105 · Feb 2023
Entendre
Filomena Feb 2023
Imma Live Bishop Yours Truly
105 · Jul 2023
Weaknesses
Filomena Jul 2023
Weaknesses
And lack of strength
Decay abandoned
Left at length

Bad gets worse
Weighed down by waste
A rotten cursed
Forgotten place

Will anyone
Remember you?
And if they did,
What could they do?
Psych Ward Poetry
Set 4, Poem 3
105 · Aug 2022
What Doesn't Kill
Filomena Aug 2022
What doesn't **** you
Makes you cry
And rage at fate
And wonder why

What seems to call you
Pulls you in
And makes you hate
Or makes you sin

And I can't tell you
Which is which
But don't conflate
You'll end in pitch
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 16.
104 · Sep 2020
Haiku 4: Unrequite
Filomena Sep 2020
He abandoned me
I couldn't be what he'd want
Was never enough
Psych ward poetry #1
102 · Jan 2022
Æsthetic
Filomena Jan 2022
literary illiteracy
insignificance on a grand scale

endless extensions
of empty expressions

obfuscation to no avail
Epic Fail
101 · Jul 2023
State of Affairs
Filomena Jul 2023
Something, something, something else.
Nothing. No one cares.
Might be hardly anything.
I'll mind my own affairs.

Hello, mother. Hello, son.
Do you think your days are done?
I'm watching you descend to hell.
I want to break the spell.
Psych Ward Poetry.
Set 4, Poem 1
99 · May 2022
Hongry
Filomena May 2022
Cuddles are cute.
So are smooches and pecks
And hugs are a hoot
But I'm hungry for Chex™
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever written.
97 · May 2023
I shall not want
Filomena May 2023
I want to help you.
I want to please you.
I want to love you.
I want to see you.

I want to touch your body.
I want your see your mind.
I want your precious company.
I want at least to try.

Desire will eat me up
Unless you show me sympathy
This fire is going to burn me up
Please set my spirit free.

I want you.
I want.
My want is selfish.
Let me die.
91 · Aug 2022
Looking
Filomena Aug 2022
The looking glass
Can see you stare

If you walk past it,
It won't care

But as you stand
To change your face

The image plans
To take your place
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 14.
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