Life is whipping around me
And changing everything I know
When the wind stops howling, all I see
Is wreckage from what was long ago.

Emotions are ripping through my mind
My common sense has gone
Sorry is the only word I can find
When I can't feel the urge to carry on

Who I will be when I awake
I can never really tell
Who I was before leaves an ache
Reminds me of how I fell.

Fell from grace, fell from light
Fell from everything good in the world
I've been swallowed by the dark of night
And that's how my life has unfurled.

Everything is changing
Now nothing is stable or clear
My life is completely rearranging
And my death feels very near.

Tears in my eyes
That won't fall
Heart that's being ripped apart
But won't tear
Body that's shaking
And won't still
Stuck at the breaking point
Of everything
The point that hurts the most
The point after a long struggle
And before the relief
There is no relief for me
My tears won't fall
And my heart won't give
And my body won't stop shaking
There's no relief for me

Life is just a fantasy
In the light of day
But in the dark of night
That's when my demons come out to play
They whisper and fester
Beneath my skin
They tell me I'm worthless
That I'll never win
They fight all the light
And drag out the darkness
All my pain is renewed
My sorrow and my sickness
They hide behind my eyes
While my life passes me by
But when I'm quiet at night
They're always nearby
To tell me I'm nothing
And to keep me contained
To shake me and break me
While I'm still chained
By my past insecurities
And deepest fears
My demons are my life at night
And have destroyed all I hold dear.

“If you can find the problem in your life,
Then you can cut it out.”
But what if my problem is me?
What if everything that I'm trying to run away from
Is myself?
What can I do?
I can't escape it no matter how hard I try.
I can't cut out myself
Because my problem has consumed me
It is me.

It
Is my
Darkness that
I can't defeat.
All that I can do
Is kick and scream and try
To survive. The darkness has
Taken shape as this monster with
My eyes, except it reflects sorrow
And everything I fear most in this world.