when i met you
i didn't know id be
meeting all six of you.
your personas
spilled from your pocket
like rapid fire kisses.
little by little
trickling out
with casual coolness.
like perfectly stacked dominoes
shot out into the open
by geronimo and his rifle.
and the only thing you expected
was to expect me to not inspect them.
to not hold them up to the light
and investigate the content.

anyway my hands were
too shaky  
and small
to carry them all.
anyway you smiled.
with the same
smile you forgot to
take off from work.

you:
the angry
the riddle
the obstinate
the sweetheart
the confused
the drunk
the person you think you are
the person you are desperately trying to become.

for what its worth,
i hope to meet him
one day too.

Crashing waves
The steady wind
Chirping birds
The wind chimes on our old porch
Sounds of thunder rolling into our small town
The most beautiful noises I can think of.
These are the sounds I hear when I close my eyes.

One sound is missing however.
*I can no longer hear your voice

As I sit here on October 30 2015 with tears coming down my face my heart is telling me that I have to become a new person even doe it's going to hurt but do it really make a difference? Right now since I'm already hurting but any way the new me ain't going to care about what others think,
Care about helping others if they do me wrong,
The new me ain't going to give chance over chance over chance over chance
This is the new me
The new me ain't going to cry anymore the new me is stronger than the old me and the new me really just don't care anymore but the old me care a lot
As I sit here it's said to say but all this is true cause pain cause people to change and you can't expect people to stay the same after getting hurt over and over and over and over again
Life just don't work that way sorry but the new me don't care it just don't care
If you feel like this way I'm sorry cause I know how it feels and I know it is one of the worst pain ever but if you never felt like this I pray to God that you never have to in your lifetime.

Tall
breeze bending tops
rooted deep
faceted to growth
tips seeking light
scented sounds in needles
beautiful feminine formed spiral cones masculine inconspicuous pollinating
   pistils
overlapping in season never ceasing a
   productive moment
never fallen, always green

Reminds me of eternal life

Feeling positive
As i want to be away by my neagative

Feeling Cheerful
Even something forces me to dreadful

Feelind Good
As i'm forcing that i should..