You,
who used to touch me where I didn't want you to, reaching inside me, where I'd *never let anyone before, I was only eleven, I shouldn't of been treated like a *****...
   I hate you

You,
who took advantage of me, when I was just thirteen, taking what innocence and trust that I had left, breaking my spirit down to an empty shell...
   I hope you rot in H£LL

You,
who just watched what they did to me, judging me, saying it's my fault for dressing slutty. I was only fourteen...
I hope I'm never like you

You,
who made me believe I was not a used rag doll, gave me trust and hope, only to reach my sixteen year old core, then ripping it all to shreds like never before...
I'll never forgive you

You,
who said you loved me, made me think it was the real thing, helped me forget the past, at only eighteen, you gave me my wings and hope that it would last, then when you realized I just wasn't enough, you went and found some different lust, at twenty-five, you decided you wanted a new life,  but our kids mean the world to me, so I can't regret you, but I can erase your memory...
I hope she cheats on you

You,
who finally made me think I'd found the real thing, then broke me down, then picked me up just to throw me down again, over and over, then used the fragile remaining shards of my heart to cut out my soul and leave me falling apart...
I wish you nothing but pain and despair

You,
who I laugh and joke with now, who I wish to know more, who makes me scared I'll end up with a broken heart like before, who seems to truly care...
Please, don't forget how fragile I am
        
You,
who I may or may not have met yet, don't hurt me, don't make me regret. I won't be able to handle losing another, I wanna be happy with you, I wanna know forever...
**I hope you'll love me too

You'll never know...
When you'll be head over heels
The most enchanting feeling in the world
Your unknown desires, it reveals
A current in you will endlessly twirl

You'll never know...
When happiness fills your heart
Having a precious bundle of joy in your arms
You'll realize in your life, he's the most important part
Not forgetting, he'll make the best morning alarms

You'll never know...
When your heart will be scrunched
Like a ball from a piece of paper
Feels like your chest is being ruthlessly punched
Your skin peeled off with a serrated scraper

You'll never know...
When a friend will turn his back
Whose hand you held, all these years
Intentionally causing an emotional attack
In disbelief, you gather invisible tears

You'll never know...
When you'll be caught in an unexpected plight
Daily reflections occur, due to lack of wisdom
To ease your dark path, you yearn for a ray of light
Nothing much you can do except to crave for freedom

You'll never know...
When the time comes, you might bleed to death
Tears will flow drowning your skin
As you breathe your last breath
You wish you had more time to atone for your sins

I’ve been given a book, a Book of Instruction,
A book of what’s right and what’s wrong.
But when I am nudged towards this path of perfection,
I turn the other direction.

If I were not told of the wrong thing to do,
I would never think to even do it.
But because of my sin and my enmity of the true,
My promises to do right, simply fall through.

This book gave the path to life,
But all my sin saw was a chance.
A chance to bring death like a cutting knife,
To make me live through the strife.

Sin go away!
Leave me be!
No matter how much I wish to follow whatever the LORD may say,
You’re right there, to keep my decisions at bay.


I leave Sunday morning on fire for the LORD,
But the week goes on,
And not once have I gone and explored,
The opportunities the LORD for me has stored.

It is not who I who act, but the sin that lives within me.
But when does that sin become who I am?
When does my selfish ambition become not an entity,
But a part of the person I am to be?

What a wretched man I remain,
Only lukewarm: saying not acting, thinking not doing.
I want to act but the sin restrains.
Who can cleanse my countless stains?

Jesus,
Only Jesus

Thank you LORD Jesus, for loving me nonetheless,
For delivering me from death more times than I can comprehend.
Your Book of Instruction does not just judge and assess,
It is the Book of Life, made to bless.