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 Feb 2017
Miki
I think about it
I think about it
I think about it
Sitting here with you
I think about it
I feel shame
I think about it
I feel hate
I think about it
*** has changed
I think about it
Sitting here
With a smoke in my hand
A coffee on my lips
And I think about it
I think about it
Red light
Worst night
Too drunk
and I think about it
Not my house
Not my friends
Making out
God I think about it
Studying
Writing
I think about it
Red light
Worst night
I think about it
Some things don't leave you...
 Feb 2017
Cristina
I so deeply desire
The change to happen now,
To build up a fence
For me to carve in hidden,
Of the world my big surprise
Eyes no more shallow
Eyes that look like mine.

I crave so hard of something
That the pain is my friend
Another thing I desire
For salty water to pause a sec
Shall I scream or run as fast?
There is no point
Salty water flows so much.
 Feb 2017
Just Melz
She sees heaven in his eyes
He sees a hell in her heart
Too many times she's been hurt
and torn all apart
He sees her suffering
She sees that he's trying
But something inside her
Feels like she's dying
She knows it's worth fighting
He knows how much she's struggling
Struggling with pain versus time
Never knowing if she'll make it through
Like she's blind, walking a twisted path
He guides her towards the truth
She falls behind, she's just too tired
He turns around, sees her lying on the ground
Adrenaline kicks in
He has to carry her out of this place
A heavy load to bare, he struggles through
He takes the weight on his shoulders
Pain, sorrow and a lifetime of despair
Knowing she's his one saving grace
He pushes on until he sees the light up ahead
The final stretch, but he feels heaven on his side
Wondering if he'll make it after how much he's bled
And how much he's cried
The bright light awakens her
She holds on tight, crying tears of joy
With a kiss and a laugh they move on together
Cause love is something even hell can't destroy
Tap,
       tap,
             tap
Tapping on the wall around your heart
          Trying to find a way in
You've built it tall and strong
And plastered
       it with
          your suffering
     To remember why it's there

Yet here I am,
        not knowing where to start
So I tap,
          tap,
             tap
Hoping one day you'll hear me
Praying one day you'll open your heart
                     I want in
         I want to take your hurt
                 and make it mine
To share your pain
And find a way to make you see
This life your living
The infliction
         you've put
              upon yourself
You need not bare it alone

           Tell me your stories,
       Let me feel
              what you feel
You think you need to be a stone
But I want to know you to your core

So I'll tap,
              tap,
                  tap
Until I can see that diamond underneath
Not to break you
            or damage you
       Just to release you
               So you can finally
                    

                          breathe
 Jan 2017
Joshua Haines
When our bones rub softly,
I can take my teeth out and
shine them like skin cutters.
A yellow-bird dress you wear;
the same matchbox socks
that you wouldn't bother.

Sometimes, all the time, I
shiver in the gelatin lake
and what a faux-shake
it would only take
to make you care.

Baby, maybe, you
could love your child
like the sultry sandman;
place them on pinkish pillows,
and pretend your stories are
as real as your lashes.

And what a lamb,
kneeling in the Irish grass,
drinking all that is in her glass,
before breaking it over a wet stone,
and holding it to her throat, singing,
"I've always been surrounded, but
have always felt alone."
 Jan 2017
WickedHope
No one buys used *** dolls.
Why did I expect you to?
Take me off the shelf,
Please I encourage it.
Pop me.
Deflate me until I'm so flat
Running me over makes no difference.
Running has never been an option.
You can't run
When you're made of air,
Fantasy,
And shadows.
I just sit hear silently praying
That is isn't another test drive.
Run me over.
Run me over.
Run me over.
*Run.
I am a mess.
Am I too clean for cutting?
My soul is a song that sings a raspy tune,
About love, life and the heartache I've been through.
My heart is a book with pages and chapters written out of order about me and you.
I can't seem to remember the beginning of either and the end seems like a distant future.
But I want you to take your time listening, reading and trying to understand,
Because my life is in these words
And even if we're from different worlds
Love, pain, joy and heartache are things we've all come to know.
And by simply listening and reading each other, we can begin to grow.
 Jan 2017
simon
your eyes are blue
aNd mine are brown

i look up
and you look dOwn

your hands are big
and mine are small

you sAy a word
and i will fall

you don't think
and i surely do

you long for Her
and i for you
 Jan 2017
David Lewis Paget
We’d been together so long, it seemed
That nothing could tear us apart,
We lived our lives in a world of dreams
And Barbara lived in my heart,
But frost had covered the window pane
And then it began to snow,
As Barbara turned, with a look of pain
And said, ‘It’s best that you go.’

I didn’t know what she meant at first
As I looked up from my book,
“Go where?’ I questioned, but thought again
As she quelled my heart with a look.
‘I said I want you to leave,’ she cried,
And her face was set in stone,
‘We’ve come to the end of the path,’ she sighed,
‘I want to be left alone.’

Then suddenly all confusion reined
I didn’t know what to say,
Whatever had brought this mood on her,
I wished it would go away.
But she was firm, and she packed my things
And ushered me out the door,
I stood there shivering in the cold
To be back on my own once more.

I found a flat and I camped the night
There was barely a stick or chair,
I’d have to buy all the furniture
To make it a home in there.
But I sat and cried in the empty room
As the question came back, ‘Why?’
I’d loved her so and my heart was torn,
I thought I wanted to die.

I went to her with my questions, but
She slammed the door in my face,
Whatever love she had had for me
Had vanished, without a trace.
It hurt so much that she cut me off
With never so much as a sigh,
I called that all that I wanted was
To tell me the reason, why?

The roses had bloomed so late that year
Were still in the garden bed,
We’d always tended the bush with joy,
We both loved the colour red,
So I snipped one off as I left one day,
And planted it under her door,
To let her know that I loved her still
I didn’t know how to say more.

Her brother called in a week or so,
Said she was in hospital,
She’d gone in just for a minor cure
And thought that he’d better tell.
So I caught the bus and I went on down
With a quaking fear in my heart,
She hadn’t said there was something wrong
Before she tore us apart.

The doctor came in his long white coat,
His brow and his face was grim,
I said, ‘Don’t tell me the news is bad,’
He said, ‘I’m out on a limb.
Your wife just passed from the surgery,
But she pulled, from under her clothes,
And asked if I’d pass this on to you,’
In his hand was a red, red rose.

David Lewis Paget
 Jan 2017
Morgan
I've been accepting apologies I was never given,
I've been giving thanks to the pain,
I've been kissing the scars in my skin,
I've been listening to the soft whisper
Always distant in my panic
That says
"Maybe it's not so bad"

I've been laughing at my mistakes,
I've been telling myself I'm okay,
I've been asking for help,
Minus all of the shame

In between dreams
I've been kissing my own hands,
Talking to myself like royalty,
Wearing my make up like face paint,
Dancing in my bedroom,
Alone with the door unlocked

I've been carrying red lipstick in my purse,
I've been spraying perfume in my hair,
I've been waking up with the sun,
Using moisturizer that smells like
Chai tea and raspberries,
Putting lemon in my water

I've been calling my grandmother,
Telling her I love her even though
I know she can't hear me

I've been kissing my sister on the forehead,
Wishing her agony into space

Today I ate
A maple & walnut muffin
And I didn't stick my finger
Down my throat a single time

And I smelled my coffee
Before I drank it
And I wrapped my hands around
The mug
And I thought about how nice it is
To be so warm

Today I sat with ten suicide notes
In my lap,
All written in my script,
From days with a tired brain,
And I said sorry to myself
Over and over again
Until I believed myself
That I'll never do it again

Today I bought a brand new blanket,
The softest one I could find in target,
And I wrapped myself all up in it,
And I thought,
It's time I ******* own kindness
 Jan 2017
Tupelo
Do not call out my name
When the fire has already burned

Do not hope to be rescued
When you left to the sea

Do not say you love me
When my heart is finally at ease
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