i will admit, i am absolutely terrified as to what is happening
i hate not knowing what one is thinking and what's going on
and right now, there is a lot of unknowing going on
i have so many questions and i have no idea how to voice them to you
what are you feeling?
what do you want?
why me?
so many things i just want to ask
but i don't know how your feeling
and I'm too scared to ask you
okay, bad choice of word
i'm not scared, i'm anxious
of what the outcome of asking could be
and questions just lead to more questions and its an infinite cycle
Am i supposed to start the chain?
Do i just sit here and see if something starts happening?
I don't know and i'm so uncertain of everything except how i'm feeling

im a mess,
lying on my bathroom floor,
its cold
and its wet
but that fact i feel that at all
makes me stay where i am
the cold reminds me
of an hour before
but even then
i still couldn't get that off my mind
even if i were in my bed wrapped warm and whole
i would never forget
her hands in yours
pulling you down a winding path
in the other direction of the what i
thought was our home
your eyes shone with glee
raking her up and down
in that short red dress
despite the cold whipping wind
snapping at my cheeks
that were freshly streaked
with all the promises you made
all the soft touches you gave
all the long nights we shared
in what i thought was our bed
in what i thought was our home
in what i thought was true love
in our love
but i was wrong
and now
like the time before i met you
im a mess once more