I know the real reason
You have forgotten
All the little things we talked about,
Insignificant dreams of mine,
Troubles I wouldn't tell another person,
Because they wouldn't listen.

But I know the reason you have forgotten...

I wasn't important to you
Until now.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

I stare up at the clouds and wonder what you would see
           if you were still looking up with me
I imagine you're looking down now, down at earth, at me
I wonder what your laugh would sound like, grown up
My heart is trying so hard not to break every time I think
           of your sweet smile and the rest of my body shakes
The tears don't come any more, not that I was ever one to cry

When night falls
            and I see the stars, I look at my wrist and recall how
            I had to compose my self enough to tell the artist how
            to spell your name
When night falls
            the moon is still enough to light up my arm so that
            I can trace the script with my fingertips
When night falls
            I can't do anything but quietly whisper *"I'm sorry."

            **I don't know why I'm the miracle and you're the memory

But she never said a word.
She didn’t need to.
The conversation always breezed past her unsaid words.
“Hellos” and “Goodbyes”
Were only formalities anyway.
Even “How are you?”
Has lost it’s meaning— or rather no one means what it says.
Of course, that only applies if you are not invisible,
If they see you and want to talk.
Do they see?
Or do they not care to talk?
Meanings mix with lies, making one believe of
Worthlessness of one’s self.
Believing she was worthless
(there was no reason not to)
She continued on smiling,
Hiding behind her paper
And playing with her pencil.

And the scary part is
That she doesn’t know that
Everyone doesn’t always feel this way.

I'm just thinking of the man with his flawless rhymes and carefully calculated poems
And of the most poetic boy I've ever known
Wondering why I associated both of them with the color green

      ~       ~       ~

Green eyes
I've always wanted green eyes
Green is money
Green is growth
Green is spring
Green is life
But I've seen too much death
I've touched too much death
I've caused too much death
I've loved death
I've chased it, begged it, taunted it
Death is around me
I suppose that explains the blackness of my eyes

But your eyes
Oh the eyes that take away the pain
Those warm comforting eyes
That belong to a man I love so much it kills me every time I have to say goodbye
The man who I so desperately want to share everything with
The man who protects me
Who saves me
Saves me from the lies I tell without even speaking
My best friend that I can never keep
He is only on loan for brief moments
The moments I truly need him
The man who gave me love
The man who made me greater than myself

But your eyes
The hypnotizingly icy eyes of the boy I wanted to desire
I desired more than I was allowed
More than he allowed
More than they allowed
More than I could have
I lied lies he didn't believe
I guess that proves it
He was always smarter than me
A boy with eyes that could ****
Held his kindness close to his heart
He showed it to me in fleeting shadows and whispers
The boy who let me take a breath, though perhaps I held it in for too long

No love.
You didn't believe in expressing your feelings plainly,
till you were crying vulgarities into someone's chest.
A strange cliche became something to accept, ordinarily.

"How the trip never stops", MC Ride is screaming,
"On and on, it's beyond insane."
Drowning out your thoughts was something
you only heard in music, or something your ex said
back in high school,
until you fell asleep with headphones and sunglasses on
blaring Death Grips.
"Choose this life, you're on your own."

"I never asked to be a hero"
Hanging your Moon Knight collection on your walls;
Cried to words written on a page for the first time.
You need to be loved by everyone,
and want to be loved by no one.
Understood the pressure and wrote every day,
wrote to be not the best, but just to return from your
fall from grace, to former glory.
"I never asked to be a hero, but I beg you;
Make me a hero again."

"Sono Teido?" = "Is that all you got?"
Studying frame data, unable to sleep.
Thought you had a calling, but you gave up.
Realized a hobby is only as good as it keeps you
busy from all the ******* you could be thinking of.
Good ******* to keep out the bad.
Chun-Li leaves her opponent with wise advice;
"Tameraibe Make yo" = "Hesitate and you will lose."

All you have to do is shine and be bright,
you'll be the type they want to take home.
However, angels didn't want me when I was young,
and they still observe for seconds at a time.
You press your palms into your eyes;
They pick you up for only a moment.
Didn't believe you could be heart broken.
Then they dropped you.

Came back from the dead without prayers.
Found your armor didn't make you a knight,
it made you a villain of the highest order.
Spoke in curses and sang a hex,
to banish your love to hell forever.
"I was a God, Valera", Doctor Doom spoke,
"I found it beneath me."

Found it after the fact. Three too many voices in your head;
Prodigal Son, Nihilist Prophet, Feminist Instigator.
Few believe so hard in something they've tried to erase.
Tried to ****, to smother, to maim, and finally, to nurture.
To give up, to recover, to come back, and decide you still believe.

You couldn't make anything happen with no love.

No matter what I do
I just fall back to you

No matter how hard I try
my eyes just wont stop to cry
my emotions, they are spilling on pages
I wish you could read these messages

I knew one day it would end
but still, I made you my friend
with you I was strong and now I'm weak
I can hear my broken heart weep

What happened to that friendship we shared
How did it get impaired
To me, you were my everything
I thought we had that zing

But you left me here alone
in this eerie place unknown
still I survive on those burns
on hearing your name my heart does churn

Although I try to forget you
my heart, with me, just argues
no matter what I do
my heart just falls back to you

Life is a great mountain...
With cliffs and ledges where you may falter...
There will be points where you think you've reached your limit,
Points where you'd rather dig a hole and stay on the safe side...
There will be avalanches to knock you back,
Snowstorms that'll hold you up...
And most of all there will most definitely be times where you feel like you want to give up...
Only the strong minded and strong willed can continue,
Millions of people are found at the bottom, having a good time,
As you climb higher,
the less people there are,
The more competition there is...
In the end, only the strongest survive to reach the top...
At the peak, you experience the true thrill of life,
The kind that could either destroy you and your hard work or reward it for a lifetime...
But it doesn't end there, no...
Just you're at the top doesn't mean you'll stay there, you can't.
You can only be at the top for so long before you have to make your way down slowly,
And carefully without falling...
Because life is a great mountain,
And you have to climb without falling to the valleys below...

Welcome back little traveller
Blood of my blood
Fresh from the forming
Into confusion
Seeing with new eyes
All you have forgotten.
Wisdom of the source
You have to learn anew
To stand and speak
Treasure this moment
Keep the source with you
Listen to your angels