The Deep and Wide - Hello Poetry

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

I am the word on the tip of your tongue
But you just can't remember me
I am the eyelash caught in your eye
That you just can't seem to free

I am the whisper in your ear
That you just can't quite catch
I am the bulb you replaced in your fan
That never really matched

I am the carpet under your feet
That you trample unconsciously
I am the dream you have every night
But you never remember me.

My 300th poem, btw.

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Mindless

Who are we when we're spacing out
Or watching someone mindlessly?
Who are we when we let go of it
Because we forget about stressing?

Who are we when we forget to be angry
And release the sad thoughts inside?
Who are we when there's just nothing left
That we feel we have to hide?

Will we find that we are words
Tossed mindlessly to the breeze
Will we find that we were a sigh
An smile seen only by the trees?

#breath #mind #thought #think #wind #see #whoami #whoarewewhenwerenotthinking #whoarewe

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Lorem Ipsum

You told me that you were fine
But I knew you never said that
You'd always answer, "Wonderful!" or "Great!"
I knew the place you were at.

There was something in your mood
The way you held yourself
It was obvious that you were bothered
But what was behind feeling depressed?

I tried to go on as if I hadn't seen
That one look in your eye
But I couldn't act the happy way I do
When you looked like you wanted to cry.

I was afraid that you would start
To pour it all on me
But that was unhealthy, because I knew
I couldn't be your one and only.

I didn't want to pull away
You'd know and wonder why
Our connection and our friendship knew
The meaning of every sigh.

I couldn't ignore what was bothering you
This you couldn't outlive
So I just held you as you breathed
Knowing that was all I could give.

I'd seen your scars in the past
You'd told me what they were
But I knew there was something deeper within
That made you feel impure.

I wouldn't pursue the subject of your pain
That I knew was inflicted by you
I'd keep you in my prayers, and someday
You'll find a love that's true.

"There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..." —Cicero, 45 B.C.

#love #pain #friend #personal #selfinflicted #cicero #loremipsum

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

If I Were A Day

If I were to be a day,
It would be overcast
And I'm not even sure that light
Would come, or ever last.

If I were to be a breath,
I would be shallow
Hard to take, hard to keep
From a chest too hollow.

If I were to be a heart,
I would be almost whole
Except for the time I let it sit out
And you pinpricked a hole.

If I were to be a house,
I'd have an iron-bound door
Nothing would enter without my say
And I wouldn't go out anymore.

If I were to be a song,
You'd never hear my words
They'd be in a language you don't know
The language of hurt.

#heart #pain #sadness #hurt #darkness #day #night #hole #light #whole #yeah

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

True

If dreams still came true
Or maybe they do
Or they won't
Or can't

But if they came true
For me, for you

What kind of people
would we be?
Blessed, rich,
happy?

Would we
count the
days we
had
Or would we
number
times we'd
had?

Would we learn life lessons
Or would we think
That we could build a Titanic
Built not to sink?

Who would I be
Tell me
Who
If all my dreams
All
came true?

#dream #true #whatif

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Sadness

Sadness is when
You see someone beautiful
But they don't see it
They hate the body God made
They run from themselves.

Sadness is when
The world is full of beauty
But they don't notice
The earth is singing God's praise
And only the earth.

Sadness is when
I try to be someone good
With my own niceness
But I don't depend on God
To help me, and fail.

Sadness is when
I try to impress others
By the way I dress
Or by the makeup I hate
When they love me now.

Peace, it is when
I want to tell of heaven
But I have not words
They only scratch the surface
And I'm unworthy.

#strength #flesh #tanka57575 #beautifulyou #beautifulheaven #beautifulearth

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Circles

Tired
I can't explain it any other way
Not sure what's going on around me
I'm in a cloud today

Frustrated
That's what I am
I can't seem to do anything right
And I don't like where I stand

Deceptively calm
That's how I seem
But if you pushed me too far
I might start to act mean

Angry at myself
That's all I'll ever be
Nothing that I feel inside
Can affect anyone but me.

Exhausted
My raging emotions do this
I just can't see why I run
When it's for peace I truly wish

Tired
I'm back where I began
I'm sick of trying to do it all right
So from my knees I will stand.

#emotions #circles #cycle #circle #heylookitrhymes

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

But No »not a poem«

This may not rhyme
But look closer, maybe
You will see that the shape
Intertwines around
And adds shape you never saw
Perhaps it is centered on the right
And perhaps it's really on the left
You don't really care, just like
You shouldn't care what I say
Early in the morning before I think
Very well about anything
  I think it's a better idea
To wait until after lunch
When I can think well
Or, at least, better than
Very, very early in the morn.
Be confused.  Be very confused.
I wish I could play piano better.
               But the four or five pieces that I used to know
Are difficult to remember sometimes
             Especially when I don't have the sheet music
                         And I just wish I was better than I am.
                           Lines wrap around the crafted words
                                             And I wonder if I'm crazy
                                                 But I obviously am not
                      Because crazy people don't feel like this
                                 If I was crazy, would you know?
                                                           Would you care?
                                                                          The degradation of a soul
                                          Slowly
                                                                     My Ctrl key gets stuck
                            Maybe that's my problem in life, do you think?
              I thought it would be easier, but it's not
                         I really thought I'd know better once I arrived
                  But it feels like I've never been here before
               Maybe the times before were not as bad
        And the 'experience' I thought I had
Isn't doing me any good at all.
It's getting better though, you know
And maybe it would have started being easier
A long time ago, if I had been polite
And sensible in the way I treated you
As it is, all I've done today is rant
And I'm not sure if it has anything to do
With you.


But no.

#you #rant #ugh #iwishthisrhymed #lookatme

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

What If? »not a poem«

Horace Mann in my history class
Lived from 1796 to 1859

He was born three hundred years before me
And lived to be sixty-three

What if I died in 2059?
I don't want to die that soon.

I won't even get to see the year 2100!
I've never thought of that before.

I'd have to live to one-hundred and four
And that is highly improbable.

So maybe I'll live to 2076
That's if I get to be eighty

But even then...what if it comes
What if I'm dying, and I have regrets?

What if I'm eighty years old
And I'm lying there thinking

And wishing I had witnessed to those kids in highschool
Wishing I'd taken advantage of having grown up overseas

What if I'm lying there wishing
That I had more time

Wishing I didn't have to go
Feeling like I'm not ready yet?

I don't want that to happen!!
I don't want to die with regrets!!

No!! I still have 63 years
Until I'm eighty, that's enough, isn't it?

But.....that's only assuming
That I'll die of old age

What if I got cancer
Or what if there was a school shooting

Or what if another country set off nukes
Or what if I was on a plane and the plane crashed

What if I died before I got married?
What if I died before I got my love life straightened out?

What if I died without forgiving people
What if I died without forgiving myself?

What if I died without telling my parents
How much I appreciated and loved them?

What if I died without ever finishing a story?
I'd never be a famous (but dead) author.

What if no one remembered me,
Or missed me, or thought of things I'd done?

What if I never did anything worthy of remembrance?
What if it took me before I was ready?

What if
I died
*tomorrow?

#life #death #rant #itjusthitme

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Scraps of Hearts with Pointy Ends

Something I hold onto
To help me let it go
Something that changes
To keep the status quo

Fuzzy lines and pointed questions
They get the worst of me
Maybe to forget what I remember
I need the memory

Color drains and drips from your face
Skies turn to grey and say “I’m sorry”
And as the rain falls it’s a sure thing
The lightning overhead lights up around me

Knees bent and face to the ground
What was I running from?
Don’t need to understand to believe
What else to do when He says “Come”?

Don’t hold your breath
Expectations always fail
What we thought we knew
Was anything but true in the end of the tale

We’re all searching for life
When it’s right here in Him
So many miss the mark
When it’s right there; it’s Him

Answers need questioning
We solved the mysteries before
Before the world opened wider
Afraid to step through the door

The things that are easiest to say
Are hardest to do
The things we do so easily
Are hardest to say.

Blast from the past, emotional rant
January 26, 2013

#rhyme #rant #heartswithpointyends #sixteendaysaftermeetinghim

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Seashore

I feel like I'm walking on the seashore
Some ground firm, some not anymore

Reality's clear when I don't think of you
But when my mind slips, I lose that good view.

It seems that I wallow in sand to my knees
When all I am doing is aiming to please

But when I look to what God asks
It's easier than struggling to fulfill my own tasks.

I feel like I'm walking on the seashore
And a lot of what fazed me can't anymore.

#rhyme #you #walk #seashore #aabbccddee

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

The Only Time I Won't Rhythm & Rhyme

I want someone who can laugh at himself
I want someone who can be shy about being cute
I want someone who has been waiting for me, and honestly keeping himself only mine

I want someone who can stand up for what's right and stand up! stand up for Jesus!
I want someone who can sing and play
I want someone whose heart is as musically intertwined as mine is

I want someone that's absolutely crazy
I want someone so crazy that I can love him to death and it won't drive him nuts
I want someone who is prepared for life and knows where his path is headed

I want someone with confidence
I want someone who wouldn't ever make me feel uncomfortable
I want someone with compassion and passion and with the past behind him

I want someone who could ****** his nose just by stepping on a pencil but who can be tough as steel about ripping off bandaids
I want someone who could be that one dad that all the other kids wish was their dad because he's so much fun
I want someone that isn't looking for me at this age
I want someone who can wait if I need him to

I want someone who wears black when he's depressed
white when he's fine
and green when he feels epic

I want someone who can pray hard when he needs something
I want someone who can be serious when he needs to be
I want someone who wants this as much as me.

#love #someone #search #letgodwriteyourlovestory #blankverse

May 2014

Mrs Ashley Somebody

Nothing

I see you sitting there, wondering
How will you ever go on?
'Cause you can't get over that one thing
It's been with you for so long

You thought you could be brave enough
Thought you could stay strong
You tried but you couldn't save yourself
How did it all go so wrong?

I see you telling yourself to try, try
You say you're better than this
I see you break down and just cry, cry
But you don't have to do this

You think you're separated from My love
I tell you, nothing can do that
You think all you did is bad enough
I tell you, nothing, nothing can do that

Every day you wake up and say
You're going to get it right
You're going on your own strength
And it brings you down every night

It's getting heavier all the time
You didn't know it'd hurt this much
But you just keep saying you'll try
Even though you're giving up

But I see you in your pain
You can give up and know I'm here
My voice has always been saying
That I've always been near

You think you're separated from My love
I tell you, nothing can do that
You think all you did is bad enough
I tell you, nothing, nothing can do that

So when the lies tear you down
When you let them speak
Don't be afraid, I'm always around
Child, just hold onto Me

You think you're separated from My love
I tell you, nothing can do that
You think all you did is bad enough
I tell you, nothing, nothing can do that

Nothing can do that.

Written May 13, 2013

#nothing #godslove