FamILLy - Hello Poetry

Jan 2022

Amanda Kay Burke

When will you start showing me respect?
Sick of being put down
How can I feel welcome in a place
Where it is clear I'm not wanted around?
A moment of peace all I want
Chaos surrounds every day
You are center of it all
The aggressive words you say
Families supposed to show love
You just show level of disgust
Unhappy with my behavior
Incapable of giving trust
What can I achieve to make you proud?
Each time I try I fail
Impossible getting back on track
In fact fear we will derail
You complain about the state of things
Nothing I do ever appears to be right
When I sit still and do nothing at all
That becomes one more reason to fight
Your insecurities projected on us
You are too stubborn to see
Picking apart my character
Convinced the problem is me
But if fault is really mine
Why am I not the only one?
Friction found in every conversation
Battles never done
I try making you understand
I'm not strong enough to break through
In these confrontations
Common denominator is you

But you are so quick to blame everyone else

#common #denominator #love #family #fighting #confrontations

Jan 2022

Amanda Kay Burke

My Shoes

I know I make you suffer because you remind me all the time
As if yelling words helps me over this mountain that I climb
For a moment why don't you put yourself in my shoes?
Sure if roles were reversed it'd be a different life you'd choose
I want you to be satisfied with me the way I am
And wish you could see that I actually do give a ****
I care about opinion more than you realize
Not able to escape the crushing disappointment in your eyes
Well at least you have made your point crystal clear
Cut ego down daily then have the nerve to say I'm wanted here
I would walk out
Have nowhere else to go
I get high yet somehow still feel just as low
My pillow wet from tears almost every night
Zero point in arguing because you believe you are always right
I wake every morning hating myself more
Isn't your fault but you escalate the war
Internal conflict my ever present curse
Battling with you only makes everything worse
Chasing unrealistic dreams like dog after their tail
Subconsciously aware I am doomed to fail
I wish for once you could take a chance and put some faith in me
Allow room to make mistakes even if you disagree
I know how you feel so there's no need to rub it in
Deragatory remarks remain etched into my skin
I hope someday I will find the strength to rise above
Conquer demons
Discover the parts of me you unconditionally love
Trust when I say I wish I was different just as much as you
It's not that easy to change simply because you want me to
I love you when you make me feel so very bad
And apologize for the countless times I have caused you to be sad
No matter what we go through you will forever be my mom
In the future we can both work on staying calm
I'd corrall moon and stars for you if I thought it would make your smile last
You can't enjoy the present when you're caught up in the past

We wear the same size

#shoes #life #love #family #know #feel #need #already #rub

Dec 2021

guy scutellaro

a heart of glass

another year passes by you

the sadness in your
eyes

like old newspapers
blowing down
a deserted street

the hunger in your voice
drifting between
a laugh and a scream

and your troubled heart
forever
chasing light
down a dead end street

we searched for meaning
in the shadows of dreams

What happen to the nights
when we only wondered
what tomorrow could bring?

Nov 2021

Amanda Kay Burke

A Stranger With My Face

If you remove darkness inside me how much matter would remain?
Would it be a clean break or would that shadow leave a stain?
The antiques passed through generations only weigh me down
Heirloom weakness and shame parents wore as crowns
Would bring all the way till I crossed the finish line
Their weight is making progress steadily decline
Yet when I try releasing find their grip is way too strong
Have no other choice but drag these heavy burdens along
I fear limbs decay the more time that passes by
Friction wearing holes in flesh
I can't sever ties
A broken soiled reputation all I've seemed to gain
Blessings one by one like drops of water swirled the drain
Under layers of appearance is a piece of myself I rightly hate
Seems to be too large to safely amputate
These cheap thrills have gotten more expensive than platinum and gold
Their toll taken by draining my peace and prematurely making me old
As I held dreams in hand I stumbled and I fell
Shattered as they hit the floor
Hopes more fragile than eggshells
Then clumsy feet only made the mess worse
Every step makes a crunching noise
Wish I could somehow reverse
I never knew growing up would cause me to feel so low
Only when flying too high that I see how far the pavement waits below
The little girl in me died now there's a stranger in her place
Look in mirror and am terrified because the stranger wears my face

Feeling some feels right now

#stranger #face #depression #addiction #life #remove #darkness #matter #remain

Jul 2021

imperfectstranger

Haunting

Words don’t hurt
They haunt

#haunt #hurt #words #talk #rumors #dark

Jul 2021

Brett

I Want To Build A Rocket Ship

I want to build a rocket ship, but this full moon blanket,
keeps me tangled up in bed.
Maybe a sun shower ,will birth a rainbow,
and I could build a bridge with that instead.
A walk with the weather, may be what I need,
to clear the clouds above my head.

The soggy sounds of rain, strum the chords,
that sing a song inside my brain.
A violin or guitar riff, to untwist the tornadoes,
my heart’s stuck with.
Who needs the stars, when I’ve got the sun,
to shine for me when bad times come.

My sandy feet always have the waves, to wash away,
the darker shades of cloudy gray.
These lonely lips even have a kiss, and the warm caress,
from her outstretched fingertips.
I want to build a rocket ship, but today,
I’ll just exist.

#earth #home #heart #love #climate #peace #together #flowers #fields #poetry

Jun 2021

R L

peek inside my mind

You probably think you know me,
but you only know what you have heard.
you wish to peek in my mind,
but what you'd see would be absurd.

A thousand words I've spoken,
and the billion left unsaid,
the thoughts that spiral through my mind
when I'm trying to go to bed.

The thoughts that left me empty,
and the others that made me cry,
the words that you had spoken,
to slither into my mind.

Jun 2021

Amanda Kay Burke

De Nile

Are you in denial or just determined to hide
From us the demons you battle inside?
I can't tell if you are truly mad at me
Or mad at yourself for the things you cannot be
Maybe it's both but it isn't fair to blame
Me for the person you became
You'll say it's my fault like you always do
But its obvious the fault is in you
I hope you'll come to your senses and find
Whatever caused the reasons behind
Your actions have nothing to do with anyone
Besides you so accept what you've done
I try to have your back even when I disagree
The truth would have emerged eventually
To you it's easier to deny than to accept
Responsibility for the secrets you've kept
I hope you realize you are the one in the wrong
And that you have the power to be sober and stay strong

Jun 2021

WILLIAM WORTHLESS

forgive

sometimes we forgive hoping to forget
leave the past behind get rid of all regret.
sometimes to forgive is very hard to do
with the memories you have still inside of you.

you must find away to leave it all behind
you must find forgiveness erase it from your mind
open up your heart let yourself forgive
leave the past behind just move on and live.

Mar 2021

Prevost

somewhere it is reflected
perhaps it is your shadow
that bounces off the moon
and comes back to you
as wisdom dredged from the depths
of the unassuaged moments of need
that stretched you from one point
to the next
from one lover
to the next
from one room
to the next
from one dream
to the next

we spend our heartbeats freely
the infinite supply of youth
they become more precious
as the grave slowly deepens
what wisdoms do we stuff in our pockets
as we step into the grave
and move on from this life
to the next