I had an appointment with past,
so today I met him in flash back in the dark ages.
The mirror stood a decade away from me but I can still see what’s inside my iris.

I can still taste you
You’re there in the back of my throat
My tongue is swollen at the thought
My taste buds are bitter
Even drinking water hurts
I have never felt so broke
I’ve brushed at my teeth so hard to try and scrub you off  
My gums are now bleeding
My lips are chapped
But no matter how much I rinse you’re still inside my mouth
I can’t spit you out

I’ve torn at my skin
I want to peel you off
But you’ve woven yourself so far in
Deeper than any tattoo I have
I’m covered in burn marks
I am so red
Itching all over trying to scratch you out
My nails are chipped my flesh looks so angry
I can’t help but scream

Why won’t you get out?

You’ve caused me to rot
I am a living skeleton that belongs deep in the Earth
I am alive my heart it still beats
But even when I take my last breath
I will probably look more alive than this

It hurts to walk
It hurts to move
All I can do is cry
All I can do is remain still
I’m choking on my tears whilst you dig your hands into my brain
Tearing up my mind
This is all in my head but you’ve caused me such damage
That I am falling apart from the inside to the out-

Why won’t you get out?

Hall clock, tick tock
front door, knock knock
turn of handle, unlock.

She lies in bed, unawares
footsteps, creaking stairs
back of neck raised hairs.

She feels a presence next to bed
fear, panic, a sense of dread
afraid to breathe or raise her head.

She feels a hand around her waist
and smells his breath against her face
stale, unclean and alcohol based.

He's here to harm she has no doubt
should she plead, or scream and shout
she opens mouth, no sound comes out.

Against her throat a knife is pressed
pull down sheets, exposed, undressed
she tries to forget what happens next......

i hate that you’ve seen,
every bit of me you could.
i hate that you’ve touched,
every bit that you did.
i hate myself,
for being touched by you.

i hate my body,
as it’s a constant reminder,
of what you took from me.

i hate me,
because i can’t escape the vessel you violated.

you’ve penetrated my mind,
poisoning my thoughts.

i can no longer look in the mirror,
for fear of seeing what you saw.
whatever it was you saw,
drove you to destroy me.

so now,
i hide away in shame.
i hide so no one sees what you saw,
in hopes they won’t do the same.

I don't like
I cant stand
I hate being
A thing
That can be penetrated
A thing
A thing
Some disgusting thing