when I was ten, I scraped the surface of my skin
soothing the nerves that might be achin’
and I dreamed of being a shape-shifter
instead of wearing my own skin, wanted to be a transformer
like Mystique covered her scales with brown-leather jacket
as if she was hiding in her friend’s pocket

I wanted to be a shape-shifter so bad
that I carry different names in different events
introducing another personality into another styles and bents,
desperate in escaping reality
that my first name is Nobody
with a last name of loser in a morena body

when I was thirteen, I wanted to be a telepathic
because middle school was boring and pathetic,
your freckles and scars was not considered as aesthetic
because they are distractive, not attractive
then most people was stereotypic
and put so much weight of stigma
that was heavier in my own persona

I hope I could read someone’s mind
to attend their standards and be acceptable, not behind
I hope I could seep in the openings of their cracks
to see if I could join in their popular groups and ranks
I wanted so bad to be telephatic
that my sanity was almost equal to chaotic and psychotic

when I was sixteen, I wished I had x-men gene of invisibility
because school was tiresome and heavy
and bullies was way powerful than your mental ability
that you would rather disappear and stay in eternal tranquility
then suffer from discrimination
because your skin was not society’s accepted complexion
they said, I didn’t belong anywhere
because I am nobody from nowhere

mom even said I’ll be fine and should work for it
I said that I am over it and I am so done with it
but mom didn’t understand that suiting yourself in was like
walking in fired coal with trigger in my feet of armalite the wall

now, I just turned 19, I finally understand
how world kept condemning, exploiting and oppressing people who are weak
who are in minority, not hearing their silent screech
I finally understand that if you have no power
people will trample and trample you to lower

I finally understand that I don’t need an approval stamp
from anybody that crushes my soul in *****
and you, yes you
you don’t need anybody to be whole
because, certainly, surely, you can fill your own hole
I finally understand that I am enough
that life is rough so you have to be tough
And I finally understand what made me stay,
you foolish prodigy, do not be easily swayed
I have the right to be here, you have to.

Welcome to my sunrise
Seven years I've spent in night
I am making a reprise
Because I chose to fight.

The glass lay broken
My reflection lost for years
Words left unspoken
Battling all my fears.

Love comes when you don't expect
At least it did for me
Seven years I was wrecked
And then she set me free.

Old friends who never knew
How the other felt
In these years we both grew
She had to let it out.

My life before was second rate
Seven years of solitude
Then a few words sealed our fate
And now I have more altitude.

I've never been so full of life
I thought I'd always be alone
Seven years of lonley strife
My reflection has been shown.

Stars aligned through our hearts
Fireworks blazed above
This is where our life starts
The story of our love.

Though all I've said cannot express
The euphoria that she brings
For only stars can truly process
The way her beauty sings.

This is the end of condemnation
Of a seven year depression
This is my reincarnation
And also my confession.

Life will improve in time
That mirror will be mended
You have to make the climb
Your strife will be tended.

Seven years I spent in night
My reflection thrown above
Then she brought me to the light
And now I have found my love.