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C S Dec 2013
I see the soft, charming ringlets bounce up, down, and around
As my little cousin opens her gift.
I hear the tinkling sound of her excited voice,
but feel sick to my stomach when she tells Mommy and Daddy what it is.
She squeals "Barbie!"
And I want to scoop her up and run,
Far, far, away from the little plastic doll,
On, on, onward toward a safe view of beauty.

Her ignorance is bliss, but I know better,
And I pray with a heavy heart
For that beautiful, creative mind underneath the ringlets.
I desperately ask some higher power
How we can protect her from that little doll.
What were you thinking,
I want to yell at the grown ups.
Didn't you learn from us?

Don't you know that Barbie cut open our hearts and sewed in her plastic ideal
Before they had beaten long enough for us to walk?
That she shoved sharp words in our head
Before we could string together full sentences?
That we never stood a chance,
From the moment we tore open the shiny paper
Dotted with cartoon Christmas trees?
That the "must-have" gift for a little girl
Would enslave our bodies and minds to a "must-have" torture for the rest of our lives,
And teach our brothers and classmates to look for the woman
With not enough calories in her body to sustain a simple memory,
With not enough room in her waist to hold a kidney?

Maybe it's not all your fault, you grown-ups.
Maybe you've been chained to the unattainable images for so long
That you've forgotten the shackles were even there.
But does that not scare you?
Maybe you'll remember the strain
When you see a beautiful young woman's scars,
When you hear a breaking voice speak about her friend's final breaths
At her own fragile hands filled with little pills.

But most of all, I pray to God that you won't have to remember too late,
I hope you don't have to remember when you're chained to her hospital bed
Because the insufficiency you gifted her in a shiny plastic box
Started a cycle of sinister self-hate and destructive delusion
That she cannot outrun.
I won't let you forget, because you cannot remember that way.
I won't let you forget, because she can't end up that way, like we did.
You think you gave her a pretty little toy in a shiny little package.
Didn't you learn from us?
You gave her Pandora's box.

You look at me funny,
When I replace the impossibly-sized plastic "woman" in her hands
With a toddler-sized plastic piano.
You may not remember, but I always will,
And I will dedicate my life to making sure
These beautiful ringlets will never have to.
for Sophia
C S Dec 2013
They tell us not to look into the light.
But these are the same people that tell us
Not to worry about politics just yet,
While they pile onto an unbearable debt
That we will have to shoulder when we grow.
They tell us not to be so loud,
While they have stopped making noise
About things that mattered long ago,
Leaving those who can’t speak for themselves
To suffer injustice in silence.
They tell us not to try and change everything,
While the traditions they uphold
Are helping our society crumble.
They tell us not to aim so high,
While they settle for what the world
Has told them they deserve,
Has told them is safe and normal.
So I have something to tell them.
Are they listening? Yes, there you all are.
I dare you to look into the light.
I tell you not to look away as I do everything you’ve told me not to.
If this is breaking the rules, then rules were meant to be broken,
And broken doesn’t mean what I thought it did.
I will look into the light.
I’m not turning a blind eye anymore.
I’m going to seek the light, the truth, the complicated in the world.
Looking into the brightness will not blind me,
But blindly following a lost generation of settling,
Of deafening mediocrity and suffocating quiet,
Of hiding your own brightness
Would do worse than blind me.
It would **** me.
Or worse-
make me just like you.
C S Dec 2013
Contentment is for people who are satisfied to stop thinking.
To turn off all those parts of your head
That constantly generate questions
And continuously probe the accepted.
To hush the cells jumping up and down
To show you a new way to approach a topic,
Begging you to acknowledge the incredible plans
That could be birthed from the impossible way
You see the ordinary.
But I have an obligation to my mind.
Yes, sometimes it feels more like shackles than duty,
And yes, sometimes I want to abandon my notepad and paper
On the bedside table to have a "me day"-
Whatever that's supposed to mean -
Or halt the carousel of whirling thoughts for a nap,
But I can't.
I will always be curious, at my roots.
I grow from the dedication to my thoughts, upward.
A tree straining towards the light of innovation.
Why would I forsake the places my thoughts can take me,
Or the adventures my pen can take in translating them.
For the gifts this head gives me,
I must always be on call, on edge, on fire.
Contentment: unattainable.
Even if it weren't it would interfere with the very process
That would allow me to derive what meaning lies in contentment.
So that's my secret.
The Hulk was always angry, which is how he controlled and dominated.
I'm always searching, which is how I find and thrive.
I can't drown out my thoughts just to soak up the sun.
That's not contentment: that's complacency.
And complacency is not in my vocabulary.
How funny-
I am content with losing that one word
For the chance to be brilliant.
C S Dec 2013
I know you.

Sitting behind a screen in your room,
Sipping in the shadows of a coffee shop.
iPhone, iPad, iAm "Anonymous".

The most dangerous word you can be labeled,
The most double-edged of weapons-
Anonymous.

You're never really as untraceable
As the cleared browser history says you are,
Never as untraceable as the chain of destruction you cause is traceable.

You're never really as invisible
As the checked box lets you think you are,
Never as invisible as the scars you direct a hand to make are visible.

One word can't be all that.
Anonymous can't be so dangerous.
Some clicks on a keyboard can't be so devastating.

There's a reason it used to be difficult to avoid responsibility.
Because responsibility for your words, for what you cause,
Is what allows you to see a few steps ahead.

Your signature is what allows you to learn from mistakes,
To vow after you've learned the hard way to think before you act.
To see that those words have two names attached to them now.

The writer, and the subject.
Two traceable, visible people.
Two hearts beating and breathing, now connected.

Anonymous constructs a wall between action and reaction.
It robs you of responsibility.
Yes, responsibility is a prized possession, there to teach and show.

Anonymous allows you to settle.
It robs you of the greater person you could become.
Yes, your future holds more than this, there beyond the wall of cyber bulling.

I hate that I was once Anonymous like you.
I hate that I unknowingly controlled the strings
Of a self-destructive marionette hand miles away.

But I don't hate you. Because I know you.
I know you are more than the mistakes you've made behind that screen.
I know you are more than Anonymous.

So prove it.
C S Dec 2013
He told us the truth.
Writing isn't so hard, really.
You just sit with a pen and paper,
And bleed.
Maybe pounding my head
Isn't the right way to elicit bleeding.
But it did bring the kind of headache
That reminded me what I had to bleed for in the first place.
White House.
White papers.
Black suits.
Black president.
For change.
No better.
They pretend to have a headache, but their incompetence leaves us with headaches we're too young and shiny to deserve.
Aren't we?
Filled up
With life,
Potential, hope.
Why do we shoulder their burden?  
The black suits in the white house made their own headache.
It doesn't matter to us.
Until it does.
Stimulus.
Filibuster.
Health-care.
Bail-out.
Drowned-out.
S­hut-down.
Shout-down.
Bring-us-down.
We could be on our way to the top.
Mess-up.
Then complain about the headache it brings them.
What about us?
Because we're the ones affected.
Then is the worst part.
They do it frighteningly quick.
So easy, too.
Give-up ,
And leave for us to
Fix-up.
We have to shout.
Make you listen.
Stand-up.
One-two.
Thousands, millions.
Make them listen.
March-up.
Three-four.
Slogans, protests.
Make them change.
Head-up.
Five-Six.
Defeat, Regret.
See the impossibility.
Sit-down.
Seven-eight.
They won't listen.
**** the system.
**** the suits.
**** the house.
**** growing up.
Because you know,
Now we're grown.
So this is the headache
They talked about.
So this is why
We spill our blood.
Where's the cancel button?
How to delete?
It's a cycle,
Don't you see.
You can't wipe the memory.
Why we thought
We could ever get rid
Of the headache…
Beats me.
This is a spoken word poem I plan to perform sometime soon, so just putting the words on paper is like asking a tent to assemble itself by putting it on the ground, but better than nothing.
C S Dec 2013
If you counted up all the seconds we spent tweeting,
All the minutes  we spent repeating,
All the hours we spent faking this thing-
"#YOLO", we call it.
If all 7 billion of us added up,
How many lives could we make
With the tick-tocks we spent talking about their brevity?
How many lives could we have saved, changed, re-arranged
With the attitude of using that one life to make a difference,
Instead of abusing the battle cry of a short life to do useless, irresponsible ****.
Calories, pranks, drugs, lust, rebellion.
Do you feel stupid for the things you bought with YOLO now?
'Cause you got it wrong.
Your life will flash before your eyes,
But will yours be worth watching?
It all counts.
But did you make it count?
C S Mar 2014
"Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving -
It does not matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come,
Even if you have broken your vow a thousand times.
Come, yet again, come."
-Rumi

Lover of Leaving.
I wonder where that comes from.
Abandoning ideas,
or the idea of abandoning people.
C S Mar 2014
It's so hard to tell
What I believe-
Because I'm smart, and educated, right?
And what I was just desperate to believe-
Because when you want a quick fix bad enough, isn't the shortcut subconscious?
How can you tell
What they believed-
Because they wore swastikas, and killed millions of innocents, you know?
And what they were just desperate to believe-
Because when you're ruled by destitution and terror, isn't the conformity subconscious?
C S Jan 2014
They've always told you to "pick your battles".
But I'm coming to disagree with that whole concept.
Here's to hoping you will too.

                                                        New­sflash.
                                                         ­     Your choice isn't which battle to fight.
                                                                ­      Never was.

Because your choice was yesterday,
   and the day before that,
      and the year before that.

                                                          ­                                   Because your time to choose was then,
                                                           ­                                     when you decided your values
                                                                ­                                   and determined where you stand.

                                                       From there,
                                    your battles are clear,
                and you don't get to pick them.

                                                               ­                To believe in something and not
                                                                ­                                 fight for it
                                                                ­                is the highest form of falsehood.

            Once you know where you stand,
you fight the battles coming your way,
                          no second thought.

                                              So when they they tell you to pick your battles,
                                                        ­            tell them to step aside,
                                                           show them how little they know.

                                           How duped they will feel,
           finding out the war began a long time ago,
                          and you're coming out ahead.

                                                         ­   Find your place on the battlefield,
                                                    ­              not your place in a society
                                                       that demands order with trembling lips.

                                                          ­                  See.
                                          ­                                       You're already in this war,
                                                            ­                               armed and ready.

You're the commander.
Pick your stance.
But never your battles.
C S Jan 2014
I wonder
what
would
happen,

If our computers
could process
please
and
thank you.

Would a little
southern hospitality
solve
the
glitch-

Would a
teaspoon of humanity
melt
cold
metal.

Is there
more power to
simply
giving
thanks,

Than the
modern age
has
found
true.

Sorry, but
it's just sometimes,
I
just
wonder.

Please
and
Thank You.
C S Dec 2013
The man who was the first besides my father to kiss my forehead,
To tell me he loved me and sit beside me like he belonged there,
To break my heart in fragments with miserable finality-

Today, he became the boy who actively sought
To bring me to my knees, ribbing me just where he knew the raw scar to be-
One that he wrought and seemed so sickeningly proud of.

Today, he became the coward who picked a fight
With the hope I finally found in a new love.

Today, he became the selfish child
Who believed he had some kind of claim on me.

But oh, how wrong he is.
My heart was never really his.
Because I trusted it to the only man who is worthy of it,
my Father in the world I will call mine after this one.

I know that His plan included this pain.
I'm thankful that He was there to ease some of it,
Hold me as a writhed with it,
And help me to my feet when I won my battle with it.

The scar tissue from this boy's mistakes
Showed me the fierceness of my own two feet
And taught me that people change,
Just not the way you want them to.

So go ahead, boy.
Try to rain on my parade.
Talk down to me. Sneer at new love.
Tell him that no one could ever want me.

Because your words are just that.
Words. Words of a boy. Words of a coward.
But not words of the man I loved.
Not the weapons you think they are.

So you're going to walk away.
Because we're going to wave you goodbye for good,
And say God Bless.

So he's going to wonder why you ever let me go.
Because tonight I'm going to dance
With my bright soul and my own two incredible feet
Alongside a real man who wants to win my heart the right way-
By seeking it of my Father.

So I'm going to find happiness, love, and joy
Without you. I hope, with him.
But whoever it will be,
He will love me, and he will love God, and we will be right.

Because my dance has always been with Lord,
And know that He will let the right man cut in.
Now if you'll excuse me,
It's time for me to dance.
C S Feb 2014
"Oh, they aren't listening to the words.
They just like the beat."

I don't know why you aren't listening to me,
when I tell you that they do.
There's no way they can't.

I don't know how you continue to turn a blind eye,
while your nine year olds mouth the words "*******"
as they jump around on the dance floor.

You doing nothing
is doing serious damage.

They will grow up believing that if the words
that turn women into objects were so wrong,
Mom would have stopped them.

The will grow up thinking that if they were really worth
more than what records say they are,
You would have told them.

They aren't listening to the words.
The words are raising them.
C S Dec 2013
I don't want your shiny presents.
I don't want anything you can use to distract me from my present.
I want to live right here, right now, as me.

Because this is the youngest I will ever be.
All I've done, all who've changed me, all mistakes I've made-
They're more than fine by me.

I'm proud of my Present, and excited for what's next.
So don't try to hold me back
With some green paper and a red bow.

Of course I haven't gotten rid of all my fears,
So I understand why you're masking yours,
Checking off a wish list you signed with my name.

But don't you understand?
I don't want your gifts, not these presents.
I want to run after the fleeting Present you've watched me earn.

So Merry Christmas to you,
And I hope a good night.
The Present is calling,
I'm off to pursue my life.

— The End —