Silky smooth lips;
      pink folds of woven flesh          
      glistening with wetness.
      their allure -- the aroma.
      her elixir -- my nectar.

She loves being alone, she really does.
Does one truly enjoy solitude?
A word accompanied by such a dreadful, negative connotation?
She always claimed to be a loner by choice,
but was she really?
Did she really have a choice?
Or was it simply a mutual understanding,
that she was not wanted or cared for?
Alienation is simply a form of self-defence.
She shut her doors to save herself.
She loves being alone, she really does.

It's been a year since I had a drink,
but three months since I had a cigarette

Each day I feel myself slowly fading away,
and I am scared I'll end up slipping back into my old ways.

The panic attacks at night come back,
and all I need is a way to rant.

I turn the music on full volume,
because I need something louder than the voices in my head.

I stare at my bedroom walls till past 2a.m on a school night,
I blame insomnia, but my mind is the reason why.

I can't stop myself from thinking back to when I actually slept at night,
and when my hands didn't shake all day long,

I feel like I am just a pair of eyes,
watching as the world goes by.

I am just a bystander,
while everyone keeps moving.

I started to feel nothing again,
letting things go on while I stood still.

As you cried on my shoulder,
it watered the flowers that you planted in my chest.

You will be the "he" in all my writings,
& I'll spend days comparing you to things in nature.

& spend hours trying to figure out exactly what shade of brown your eyes are.
I'll wake up thinking if your morning was bright, just like your smile.
   Falling
          Falling
                  Falling
How is it that you're in every love song I hear?
& Every novel, poem and movie

You can make the sun seem sunnier,
Colors seem brighter

Being with you is like living in a constant state of euphoria,
and without you is endless.

I remember the moment I fell in love with you
& the moment that I knew you were the one.
            Thank you for letting me be the one too.

You can climb to the mountain peak
But it won't set you free
You'll find it's lonely at the top
And the air is hard to breathe

You can search the ocean deep
For pearls pure and true
But in your search, I think you'll find
The water's cold and cruel

You can travel lands of brightest suns
In search of warmth to find
Abandon shelter that you've known
Just leave it all behind

But the sun will surely betray you
The mirage of bliss, scorched and burned
Perfection a dream that can't be reached
Another hard lesson learned

When your quest is finally over
You'll realize the love i had was true
But I won't be here with open arms
'cause you've no more roads to choose

From Marlboros, and thinkin horribles,
Each time I think of you is another cigarette gone from my pack.

I start my pack full, I test the weight, loving the feel of a full pack in my hand,
But with every thought, they start to slip through my fingers like sand, and find their way home on my lips, where my tears just fall off and drip.

I started with 20, doing so far so good.
Wait whats that? you called?? there goes my mood.

A thought of you, a image plus two and then Im done with a few.
(17)

I choke on my fears, while I clench my hair
I called you my dear, and now im done with a pair.
(15)

Anxiety is something which I so not lack,
Giving my breath to this dwindling pack.
(13)

You feed my addiction being the flame,
my heart burns black, while it bears your name.
(10)

I sit and ponder on these thoughts I wish to behave,
Two more ignites, to feed the darkness in which I crave.
(8)

My pack is now dwindling low,
As I struggle to maintain a steady air flow.
How else can you sleep, when you've been hit with such a harsh blow.
(6)

I have clipped my wings,
after i have fallen oh so low,
in search of my name in your voice, but it is another mans love in which you sing.
This cigerette is now the only thing that glows.
(3)

(Braxton) I remember from where I came and god its a shame,
I just wish the addiction never screamed your name

Empty. Like my heart, the hollow pack crumples in my hands, wishing to be filled.
But the self destructive cycle repeats again, and again. .
And I begin my pack full, yet again testing the weight..