Innocence* gone
Why do I feel so alone?
You rock this smile on your face
Like you did nothing wrong
Like you're so innocent
But that could never make sense

Years have gone by
And I kept silent about it...
Scared to death that she'd hate me if I told her about it.
Not knowing that she held the comfort that I needed
Are you amused to know you're the cause of why my wrists are bleeding?


Suicide as my choice;
To end this suffering pain
I'm sick and tired of wondering if I'll ever be happy again...
It makes me sick to my stomach
To see you around..
Walking proudly, so happily
While I drag with a permanent frown

How could you do something so cruel
To a little girl, no older than seven
A young man like you, about eighteen
You'll be behind doors someday
But it sure as hell won't be heaven's

Does the guilt eat you alive?
Cause depression is surely killing me
I'll never wish this pain on you, even though you're my worst enemy


My mind is a broken record.. It consistently replays this moment..


All those check ups from  "playing doctor" and it just made me worst...
I'm a psychotic f-ck, dressed as a doll
With helpless hearts and souls in my purse
You're the one to blame
I've nearly created a storm and filled the sea with tears by just the sound of your name...

For me, Life felt like a never ending play
But I guess it's just horribly written and directed in the wrong way...
But as  for you, the show's over

....And it's time for me to close the curtains....




                                                ­                  ~N

Please touch me once again.
This time without your hands!

Why would I?
Why should I?
Why could I?
Why would I crawl back into that thorn bush?
Why should I travel back in time to have it hurt again?
Why could I be a superhero?

Well, because that thorn bush has roses.
And traveling back in time and experiencing that pain would be better than the pain of today.
And well, because, I'd look **** good in a cape.

But why would there be roses on a thorn bush?
And why should I still have to go through pain?
And why could I pull of a cape so dashingly?

Well, because there's beauty in beasts.
Pain is never-ending.
And well, I've been my own superhero for quite sometime.

Would I show it?
Should I show it?
Could I show it?

No.

And it's better that way.

When she speaks,
She speaks the truth
Listen.

When she hopes,
She hopes with all her heart
Hear her out

When she laughs,
She can brighten up any room
Laugh with her

When she cries,
Her pieces thought to be glued together come apart
Hold her

When she loves,
It's like no other feeling
Love her back

When she writes,
She writes out her story with beautiul words
Read it

Because when she writes,
She's writing the words she can't find to speak

When she loves,
She's loving like she yearns to be loved

When she cries,
She's letting out everything she's been holding inside

When she laughs,
She is reminded that in reality, happiness is still so very far away

When she hopes,
She hopes in vain;
For every 11:11 wish,
Ends in tears spilling,
And broken promises,

But when she speaks.
It is rare-
She is habitually silent
For when she speaks,
No one listens.

I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the
             Best
                     I've
                            Ever
                                     Had

Fake smile,
           Dried eyes,
                       Scratched wrists,
                                         Bruised thighs,
                                                         White pills,
                                                                      Rope tied,
                                                                                Gun loaded,
                                                                                                     *Suicide.

Mirror, Mirror,* on my wall,
I just want to be thin, pretty and tall.

Mirror, Mirror, if I change my hair,
Maybe someone will start to care?

Mirror, Mirror, if I starve myself,
At least I’ll be beautiful, forget my health.

Mirror, Mirror, if I cut my wrist,
Will I feel like I exist?

Mirror, Mirror, don’t you see?
What you show, is ruining me.