When you can't sleep
You're never really awake
But you're never really asleep.
Yes that was stolen from Fight Club
But it captures the feeling perfectly
Of restless nights
My mind is wandering everywhere
But then
Not moving at all
And i try to count sheep
1...2...3...4...
How does the universe work?
No stupid brain go to sleep!
But it doesn't.
I have to get up in 4 hours.
Is there even a point of sleeping now?
Or will this just be another restless night
Of endless wonder and sudden desires?
I try to sound poetic
But it's hard when you have to get up in 3 hours
And the sun is just hitting the horizon.
Darkness is still enveloping me though.
There is no escaping it.
Maybe that's what insomnia is?
Not being able to sleep, to appreciate the dark.
2 hours now.
I can hear a bird chirping.
I still haven't slept a wink
Maybe this pillow just needs flipped over
Again.
And Again
It's never really cold.
They should make that
1 hour now
I can hear people start moving on the streets
Fully awake and ready to start the day
Cup in hand
Focused
The alarm goes off
Or does it?
Thats weird
The clock says 11 PM.
Well, time for bed I guess.

I keep drinking myself to oblivion
I get ****** so much medusa would be jealous
I can't stay sober
I was high in love
Now I get high to forget
To erase you from my life
Like you erased me

But you wrote yourself in permanent marker
Across my heart
And i am stained all over
That no bleach can take out

Now, I compare everything to you

Sometimes I think I'm in a nightmare
And I'll wake up next to you
And all of this will be over

But you're never in my bed when I wake
Only sleeping in my mind
Tucked away behind where regret and jealousy collide
Melancholy blankets cover your soft skin
Tender cheeks kissed by my disappointment
My depression plays with your hair
And anxiety massages your back

And when you do wake
You exit my eyes as tears
But somehow
You always find your way back to your bed

Love is like the rain,
because although when in the clouds,
the droplets may fall from the sky as rain,
they continue on for the chance of  
forming a beautiful crystal snowflake

Love is like the trees,
because although some die before
their prime, others live on for thousands
of years in harmony, and people gather
around and stare in awe at their beauty

Love is like the sun and earth,
because although the sun can not get
too close to earth, it still provides her
with sunlight, and energy, and anything
she needs to get through another day.

Love is like the dirt
because although it gets stepped on
everyday, it still provides homes for other
animals, and it provides plants what they
need to to grow and survive

Love is like nature
because too many times, people don't take
the time to appreciate it all of it,
but if we stopped and looked around,
we'd see how beautiful it really is.

A wretched world and a string of shiny stars
Spread out across the sky in neat patterns
Are the perfect metaphor for how I feel about you
The world being me of course, constantly moving
In circles either direction and never going anywhere
Ruining myself with the thought of you as the pills
And drinks go down destroying my insides
Because I cant get your beautiful shiny eyes
And the bright complexity of your mind
I wish so deeply to get involved in out of mine. Your
Ideas are the light bulbs that go off in the
Mindless TV I watch, trying to get my mind off you,
But I can't because it seems every night, whether it be rain
or a clear night sky, you are always there right in front
of me in a taunting but beautiful fashion I love so much

Shall I compare thee to a winter's night?
Thou art just as peaceful and as serene
With the falling snow being the only light
Shining bright unlike summer's grass green
A snowflake kisses my cheek just like you
The only noises are thoughts in my head
And you breathing on my neck like you do
My thoughts consist only of what you just said
I feel your warmth like being near a fire
And I cuddle you like a blanket would
With pajamas on straight from the dryer
I want to kiss you, if only I could
You look so beautiful to me tonight
With you here, everything will be alright

The leaves swiftly swayed in the wind
As he calmly walked through them
Not a sound was heard throughout
No crushing leaves or break of a stem

The stars shine bright like diamonds
In the night sky the moon is the only light
But he needed it to be dark
He couldn't do the job if it were bright

He stumbled steadily across the trail
His feet making quite light imprints
But he still kept trotting on
His skin still at a chalkboard black tint

The moon almost setting now
But he was almost there
The coffin was set up already
At the top of hells stair

The sun almost up now
But he found the body in the clear
His wife hanging from the tree
The only thing he had left was fear

His calm walk stopped suddenly
And he hung the rope parallel to her
And stepped closer to end like her                  
And this time it would be for sure

When someone says your name

I don’t hear it

I feel it

In my bones, my skin, my lungs, my heart

The way I feel when you say mine. 

A voice so pure and delicate

It sounds like an angel spreading her wings

In the pale moonlight.

Like honey

Dripping from the clouds above

Down a waterfall of serenity

Flowing through me like rain

Radiating warm drops of bliss

With each passing moment.

Isn't it ironic? That every religion preaches love
but almost every war has started because of religion?
Because every religion seems to think that they're above
And that there has to be a division?
Why do churches preach love and then all we do is hate?
Hate our fellow brother and then think that we are saints
Say they're going to hell for that pork upon they're plate
But then it's okay, when they go and assassinate
In the name of their religion, oh so then its okay
Because they will go home and pray
Pray and they will be forgiven when they lay
their sins on the table to be judged by the alpha
It doesn't matter what they did in life but the omega
will let them in as long as they accept him into their heart
Nothing else is required, so nothing you need to start
in life. Life is essentially pointless. Oh wait, no its not
because you have to force your religion on the distraught
Whether they want it or not, because you sought
to find the answer as a robot but have you ever thought
What if this isn't how its supposed to go?      
Maybe there's something else I don't know?
Because some of you can't go any lower
You judge my lesbian friend before you even know her
And gay marriage has officially been evicted
And who did that? Benedict did
So two guys asked to get married and he said nope
But what's wrong with two guys wanting to elope?
Nothing. But everyone has a different interpretation
And it's different across the nation
So we have these different cults of Christianity
Thinking they're smart, but they're groups of insanity
And I don't think I can take this anymore
So if you see me passed out of the kitchen floor
My answer is pretty simple, no need to explore
It's the crazies outside my own red door

I am winter
Stung by your speckled summer skin
And jellyfish cheeks
Hanging in my room like a painting
Always staring at me
Sculpted by certain strokes
I could never see

Ominous fall air
Wallowing in waves
The ocean you are
Filling my room to the brim

A blankets touch
Warm like leather seats
On a summer day

Nighttime dreads
My night mind
Where you are the lead
In my favorite drama

I see no spring
Time has stopped
Endlessly and forever

Sleepy eyes
Are awakened at night
By thoughts overpowered harm

Regret
Is like a paper cut
And lemons are my favorite food

My own rain stains my cheeks
Leaving them red
And cracked

Night know no bounds
Though, neither does the day anymore

I've been asked recently,
"What are three things you want in this moment right now?"
And at that moment, I did answer them
But now looking back, I realize what I truly should have said
Nothing
I didn't want anything, that moment was perfect as it was
You see, even though the sky was cloudy,
And drunk people were letting off fireworks,
And I was in the company of a girl who I laughed with
But still found it hard to look directly into her eyes
Without butterflies flying in my stomach at every word she spoke
It shows the world isn't perfect
But I'm alive in that imperfect world
And my imperfections parallel everything around me
And that means I am alive
And most importantly
Living
And when I am living, then it is always a perfect moment.

Help
I am drowning
In midnight

Winter comes
And erases me
My summer breeze

So many months
Gone like grass
In its place
Frigid sharp snow
Piercing like arrows
Tearing my skin
And heart

Help
I am drowning
In snow
Winter takes my life

The air around me blows
like static --
water rushing
on a porcelain countertop
full of both memories
and feelings.
weeping roses cover
my nostalgia for better times
but the noises!
oh the noises!
***** at my brain and force
me into staring at my own hands.
Quite small, they look
in comparison with what I believe them to be.
Humming  and whirring strike
the darkness around me.
I can't believe this used to be home.